Poll: How would you prefer to be informed that one of your stories is against the FFN rules and guidelines? Note: If the message is nice...not a flame or rude. Vote Now!
Author has written 30 stories for Avatar: Last Airbender, Naruto, Harry Potter, Walking Dead, Lost, Split, Aliens/Predator, Hellboy, and Supernatural.
Lately, the site has been having problems with profiles. It seems to enjoy taking away my page breaks and putting everything on the left margin. Well...there really isn't anything I can do about that, so I hope it doesn't effect the layout of my profile too much. I just thought everyone deserved a little warning that it usually doesn't look like this. :)
A Little Something About Me
You won't find anything copied and pasted onto my profile.
Because I believe in standing out in a crowd to the best of one's abilities (and to those who don't know, is a very large crowd). I'll just come out and say it...no one wants to read a profile where there is a few thousand words...none of which the author has written themselves. I don't mind reading a lengthy profile as long as it's not filled with stuff like "Because I'm this, I must be this." or poems shaped to look like apple trees. If I see that, I click the little blue arrow and sprint (that's right...sprint) back the way I came. I understand that this is one monster of a profile, but I enjoy keeping it up to date and getting responses about how entertaining it is. Therefore, I will not be cutting it down.
That being said, I'm a twenty-three year old FanFiction writer, and I don't have any hopes of becoming an actual author in my lifetime. I wouldn't mind it, of course, but it's not something I'm hoping to become. If you care to know what I am going to school for, go ahead and ask me, I won't bite. In fact, I hardly even nibble...so don't be afraid to send me a message and actually talk to me. I would normally put up something like my Yahoo or Hotmail messenger names, but because of all the trolls on this site and how much hate I've received via anonymous reviewers, I don't want to. If you want to chat on something faster than the PM system, send me a quick message and I'll get my info to you.
I'm a huge advocate for good stories. I enjoy plot-lines, well-developed characters, and I especially enjoy there being a reason for everything - well...you can get away with not having a reason for absolutely everything. If Naruto is jumping off a cliff with the intention of killing himself...I'd like to know why. I'd like to know what brought him to this cliff - and not so that there is an open space in Team Seven to be filled with someone who will fall arse over pretty-little-face for Kakashi.
If you ask me to read a story, expect me to point things like this out.
Yes, I've been told I'm a cruel person. I've been told I'm mean, harsh, and that I don't beat around the bush like I should. (Yeah, someone actually said that I should beat around the bush. Haha.) I'd like to say that I'm more on the spectrum of honest, and I don't like to waste time with little white lies to cushion the blow that some people seem to find devastating. I won't lie and tell you that I loved absolutely everything about your work except for this one, tiny thing. I will tell you what I didn't like. Why? Not so that I can laugh in glee as your world comes tumbling down. Everyone needs to have their work looked over with a critical eye sometimes so that they know what they should be working on. Heck, I've had my butt handed to me by some harsh reviewers telling me about my character development, and you know what? I needed to hear it, and my stories are better off because of it.
So please, don't cry and throw a tantrum about how horrible I am. I've heard it, I'm over it. Enjoy the fact that someone out there is trying to help you. Rant, over.
Story Pet Peeves
God knows I have many of them - though I will only pick out the ones that make sense when I write them down...since many have confused me when I looked back through them and realized I have no clue what I'm talking about (but they're still annoying.)
Using character bios as a crutch or short cut This is my all-time pet peeve, therefore, it goes first in my list and gets underlined. "Name: Naruto Uzumaki. Age: 20. Hair: Blonde. Village: Konoha..." I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. A character biography is basically a list of traits and facts about a character (original or cannon), and they are a great tool when you need to keep track of things like hair color and age. However, all good tools can be used for evil - and this one is no exception. When we learn about a character, it shouldn't be through a list. You don't see JK Rowling handing out facts about Harry Potter before starting her books, does she? No. She explains through the story that Harry has messy black hair, green eyes, and a scar on his forehead (not in some list before the book even starts). In every good (published) book and story online, we learn about a character through the story. We learn what village they're from via the sign on their headband and their age based on their appearance. This is a shortcut that can really harm how you write in the future. If you don't learn how to introduce a character (explain what they look like and their history through the story instead of a list) you will be cutting out a huge part of the writing process; and your story (and writing skills) will suffer dearly for it. If you don't want to introduce your character, why write a story at all? Why not just say that in your story, this person kills her brother and is on the run, then dies later and her family is sad? What is the point of writing if all you're planning on doing is taking shortcuts? By all means, write a character bio and keep it on your computer (I use them all the time to make sure I don't contradict myself) but using them as a replacement for a proper introduction boils my blood. (If you can't already tell, this is a huge topic that I'm passionate about.)
Wow. That rant got a little out of hand, but hopefully someone understands where I'm coming from. This is something that makes it impossible for me to read a story (I'll normally just leave a review explaining why I won't continue reading). And this concludes (hopefully) the longest rant in this mini-section.
"Brilliant green orbs stared into night black orbs" -- This makes me laugh out loud, and it took me a while to pin point why. "Orbs" is such a funny word, and is all-too-often replaced with 'eyes' in an attempt to sound dreamy and poetic. Seriously - in the heat of battle or walking through a street, you never really read about someone's "orbs" scanning the scene. It's only in romance stories where the writer wants the readers to coo "aaawweeee". It's annoying, even though it makes me laugh. Outside of the whole 'orbs' thing, I love when people go overboard with the description of eyes. I get that they're considered windows into the soul, but really? Do you have to find two hundred adjectives to describe a pair of green eyes?
"Brilliant red hair was tucked behind a small ear. Dark eyes scanned the room, and a small mouth opened in surprise." -- This is kind of like the one above, but it's more annoying and doesn't make me laugh. If people use it once or twice, I really don't care. However, let's face it, people. Those who use this rarely use it once or twice...it's usually the basic structure of all their sentences. I can't even fully explain why this bothers me so much, but I hope people understand this one. Wouldn't it be more realistic to say that 'S/he scanned the room', maybe 'with dark eyes'? Once in a while saying that hair was tucked behind the ear is fine, but it gets a little irritating when an action is happening to a specific object EVERY time. When parts of the body are the only thing that are mentioned, followed by what is happening to them, it just screams out 'I AM POETIC!' And I kind of want to say, "No...no you aren't. Vary up the sentences a bit, and then you may consider yourself poetic."
Song fics. -- I understand how people can get inspiration from a song, I have many times before. But using the lyrics in a story bugs me to no end, and not just because of the copyright issue (making it against the site rules). If your story can't stand without lines of poetry in between each sentence, it probably shouldn't count as fanfiction.
No description. -- This, people, is called a script, and an extremely expositional one at that. When we can only figure out who is in a room via a character greeting each and every person by their name and saying odd things like "Why, Uncle Sam, why are you sitting in that beautiful red armchair?", I say it's time to add some form of description. We really can't get a good idea about what's going on, where people are, who is there and what is there by dialogue alone - we need description.
Ridiculous unrealistic-ness. -- (The italics and bolds are conversations I would have with myself if I ever get stabbed in the liver.) I just got stabbed in the liver. Does it hurt? Fck yeah! Should I scream? Probably shouldn't, but I will anyway cause I just got stabbed Should I probably freak out and acknowledge the fact that there is something sticking out of my organs? Hmm...most likely.
Doesn't it seem like a realistic thing to do? I can't even count how many times I've read through a Naruto or Walking Dead story and read something like this going the complete opposite direction.
I just got stabbed in the liver. Does it hurt? No, I'm a teenager who hasn't been exposed to combat before, but this doesn't hurt one bit. Should I scream? Nah, let's just keep fighting even though I'm bleeding all over the place. Should I probably freak out and acknowledge the fact that there is something sticking out of my organs? I got stabbed? Huh...I already forgot about it. I'm such a badss fifteen year old that I forgot that my liver is dead and I will soon die from the effects of no liver. Touching base with reality would really be nice once in a while, yeah?
Over-the-top dirty talk. -- You know what? If there is one way to tell if a writer has experience in what they're talking about or not when it comes to lemons, this is it - how much dirty talk (and the extent of said dirty talk) they use...and positions, while we're at it. They either know what they're talking about and understand what is realistic in the bedroom, or they've read enough fanfiction to think they know what they're talking about. Getting information from people who don't know said information doesn't mean you know tons about a topic. I won't go too far into this topic because I know I will have a difficult time ending the rant that will surely ensue, so let your minds wander at this.
Inconsistencies. -- He placed his jacket on the back of the chair. Okay, that's cool. He draped it over his shoulder. Wait...wasn't it just on the chair? He picked it up off the chair and threw it at his cat. Okay...what? Wasn't the jacket just over his shoulder? How did it get back to his chair? He grabbed his jacket from on top of the fridge and stalked out of the room. Is, or is his jacket not, a magic jacket? These kind of things bother me - when writers don't really think through a scene and what's happening in it to realize that his jacket just teleported to several different places and back. Unless you want to let us know that this jacket is magical, this will only succeed in confusing many readers.
Dear P.O. Writers
I assume you're here because you got a review from me that you don't like. Before you go and PM me in an attempt to tear down my ego with teeth and claws, find the comment below that applies to you - because it will save time for both you and me. (You are welcome to yell at me. It solidifies the fact that my message got to you, and who knows, your angry rant may appear on here next time you check it out. XD)
(These are all taken from actual responses that I've gotten from people.)
-- "That story was written ages ago." So...you think you're immune to critic? I'm not blind, I see the published date. However, just because you've ignored it for all these years doesn't mean it's not up there, and that it's not in need of some good ol' criticism. If you don't want people to read it and tell you what they think, why not take it down? Otherwise, it's up there for me to do with as I wish...regardless of how long ago you put it up. :)
-- "Y u flame meh??" I don't flame - I give constructive criticism. Here's the difference: a flamer goes out and reads with the intention of hurting the feelings of writers. They set out to tear down your confidence and ego, and often have a one-lined review that barely pertains to the story. A constructive criticism-reviewer sets out to help others, and shows you what you're doing wrong and how to fix it so you can work on it and improve yourself as a writer. There is a big difference, learn it before you start accusing people.
-- "Why do you care if the s/g is slightly off? ... I sirsly needed to get the chapter out fast cause it was a present for my friend." There's no such thing as deadlines on this site, as opposed to the real world where authors have to finish books by a certain date. You can (and should) take your time with each and every chapter of your story. When people rush to get a chapter out, they generally don't check it for spelling, grammar, plot holes...etc, or are more inclined to overlook mistakes. I would rather wait another few days for a good chapter than get a bad one now. So, no...wanting to get a chapter out the moment it's finished isn't an excuse for bad spelling or grammar. Take the time and read through it, or better yet, send it on over to a beta to check it for you.
-- "Why didn't you say anything nice? You have to be nice, or else your just another flammer." First, I'm not sure what a 'flammer' is, but I think I get your point. Why didn't I say anything nice? If I don't see something in your story that I genuinely like, I won't say anything. I'm not going to lie and say that I love the way you describe things or that your original character is amazing. I'm not a liar, and I don't intend to become one so that you can feel a teensy bit better about this one particular story.
-- "Are you trying to make me feel horrible?" (Note: I had to leave out a few choice swearwords here, since children may be reading.) No, I am not trying to make you feel horrible. I'm trying to give you the tools you need to become a better writer - though if you decide to take those tools and use them or not is up to you. I don't want you to read my review and feel like your world is tumbling down...but if it does feel that way, I have some advice. Grow up a bit. Your ego and confidence shouldn't ride on one review, nor should it be so shaken up over someone not gushing over your story.
-- "why did u report me???" Because you did something that was against the rules and didn't change it or take your story down. Yes...this site has rules and guidelines. Did you forget that you agree to them every time you create a new story? And perhaps you didn't read the very bottom. "Failure to comply with site rules will result in the removal of stories and/or suspension of account." I often won't report right away. I'll inform you that your story is against the rules and what happens if you don't take it down and an admin gets to you. That's not the same as actually reporting, and I don't think people understand that. However, if you ignore my message and don't change/take down your story, then I will report you, and you won't be warned or informed.
-- "if you don't like my story...why are you reviewing?" I review a story that I read whether I like it or not. If I like it, I'll review and tell you what I liked. If I don't, I'll review and tell you what I didn't like and why. I always feel bad for a writer who needs to work a lot on their writing, but never gets anything outside of a smiley face and an 'update!!!!11' review. The only way you can grow as a writer is to write with the knowledge of what you're doing wrong, and what you need to do to fix it. Otherwise you'll be running around in circles, going nowhere.
-- "i don't want cc" (cc meaning constructive criticism). You may not want it, but you sure as hell need it. If I give it to you, you obviously have areas that are in need (often dire need) of improvement. If you wish to never grow as a writer, go ahead and ignore all the help that's being offered to you. I've probably already moved onto the next story and have forgotten everything I've told you, so I won't sit in the corner and cry because I've been ignored. But if you want to gain new skills and learn a thing or two, you'll listen to everyone who's trying to help you. (Because more often than not, I'm not the only one giving your constructive criticism.) If everyone is telling you that twenty words does not qualify as a chapter, don't you think there may be something wrong with what you're doing? I'm not saying to change your entire self because one person tells you, but don't do the exact opposite. Find a balance and keep it.
-- "Why did you send me a review instead of a PM? It's so unpersonal to get a review telling me that my story is against the rules." Why have I switched from PM's to reviews? Because a lot of people have that option turned off...and you can't turn off the option for reviews. It's easier to leave a review rather than go to someone's profile and figure out that I have no other means of contacting the writer. And I don't understand how it's any less personal to get a review - you're getting the message directly, and more likely than not other people won't see it. And if they do, what's the problem with that? I'm never over-the-top angry about someone writing a story that's against the rules, I just politely tell them that they need to glance over the rules and guidelines before posting their stories, and I explain the process of what can happen if they refuse to change what's wrong. There is never any flaming or rants where I try and embarrass the writer, so why do you feel embarrassed?
-- "about a million people put up those 'i'm looking for a story. please help me find it.' posts in the stories log. I haven't seen one that has been tagged by the admins yet, so if they haven't done anything about it, it sounds like an okay to me." (Word for word, that is seriously what they said.) If I killed you right now, slit your throat and set you on fire, it's perfectly okay as long as the cops don't get me. You can't deny that if you have the same mindset of the person who said this. If you do something against the rules and you don't get caught, it's okay. I find this really sad. It's such a childish mindset to have and I honestly think that how murderers and rapists do what they do, because they think they can get away with it and that if they don't get caught, killing and raping people is okay. Seriously, that is what comes to mind when people so blatantly say this. Just because you don't get caught does NOT mean that what you're doing is okay. Have an ounce of integrity, seriously, it makes you feel better. I hope you grow out of this mindset, both for your happiness and the safety of people around you (because if you want to kill them, you can as long as you don't get caught, right?)
(As a side note, admins don't 'tag' a story. They don't put a giant orange letter at the top of the story that informs all readers that it's been 'tagged'. They inform the writer discretely, and when the warning is ignored? The story is quietly taken down. I've actually heard of them taking a story down without warning...so everyone beware.)
-- "doesn't respond to reports anyway." (I think they were trying to say that they don't respond to being reported, as in taking their story down, not returning the message.) You know what? That's okay. Whether you respond or not is fine by me. As someone who enjoys quality stories on this site that don't contain a list of the word "BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY" over and over again, I do what I can to help keep the site from going to the dogs. If you respond, that's fantastic. If not, that's fine. I've reported and moved on, I won't dwell on that one measly story that got away from my grasp. (You may actually have to remind me what story we're talking about, though.)
-- "Why should i be taking advice from somehow who sounds all high un mighty?" Maybe - or maybe I'm just crazy - because, out of the two of us, I can spell 'and'? I won't lie and say I know everything there is to know about the English language and I make no mistakes. Everybody does. You (oh, dear, pssed off reader) just happen to make more than most and it interferes with how much I can enjoy your story. By all means, you aren't compelled to take my advice. I won't hunt you down and demand that you capitalize your title properly or spell 'and' right. I'm just putting it on the table. If you want to learn from your mistakes and become a better writer, you can take said advice. I won't throw it back in your face and laugh at you for admitting you make mistakes - and if you think I will, you have a crazy image of me, and I would like to know where you got it. I find that most people who respond this way have extremely fragile egos, and they have to stand guard constantly to protect it and make up excuses for why they're actually great writers, and the twenty people who just pointed out what was wrong are all crazy. Please, don't lie to yourself. Accept the criticism given to you, even if you think they're 'high 'un' mighty'.
To anyone who would like to vote on how I inform people that their stories are against the rules, go ahead and vote in my poll which you can find at the top of my profile. You can vote, however, if you have PMing turned off and I can't find your email easily, you have no one to blame but yourself when you get a review from me, telling you that your story is against site rules. (Better yet, don't post things that are against site rules. That way we won't even have this problem.)
How I (normally*) Review
I really won't beat around the bush. When I review, I will tell you right from the start that this will all be constructive criticism (or I'll just jump right in). I won't gush about your story, but I will point out some parts that I like, in non-fan-girl fashion. Otherwise, I'll point out all that I see wrong from character development to grammar and spelling. If I can, I'll show you how to fix what you've done wrong, and will help you along the process. (Unless you get angry and rant about how I'm a horrible person for flaming your story - then you just get laughed at and I move on to the people who aren't complete children). I also tend to review as I read, meaning that my reviews are often long and detailed - this way I don't forget something by the time I'm done reading. I'll generally read the first chapter and review, but if you want me to read more and review along the way, I will.
If you want me to review your story (or more of your story than I already did), go ahead and send me a PM and tell me the title, and I'll get to it ASAP. (Note: I only read and review in fandoms that I'm familiar with. This would include Naruto, Harry Potter, Avatar: TLA, and a few others. If you aren't sure if I know about a fandom, send me a message. I don't bite.)
(*)I've had several people read my profile and get all up in arms because I didn't give them a long and detailed constructive-criticism-based review on one of their stories. I've added the 'normally' part because I'm not always up to reading a story through the eyes of a critic. Sometimes, I like to just read and enjoy what's there. It all depends on my mood and how much time I have. If you do get a review where I don't point out things that I didn't like, don't get angry. Just ask me to give you some constructive criticism and I'll read back through it for you.
I've recently gotten a lot of different, slightly random questions from readers and fellow writers alike. So, for the fun of it, I've decided to have a Q&A section of my profile. (Feel free to send in more questions.)
-- Do you have an accent? I suppose we all have accents, don't we? You can call my accent a Northwest American accent, which I've recently been told is "weird". Heh. We don't pronounce the first 't' in 'important'...that's right, "impor'nt". :) Sounds weird? Well, it sounds more weird for me to say "im-PORT-ant". Haha.
-- Favorite Walking Dead character? Hands down, Daryl!
-- What is your favorite Harry Potter pairing? Remus Lupin and a good OC. But seriously, that one word there, right between the 'a' and 'OC' is extremely important. It's so easy to create an OC, but to create a good one takes time and patience, and a lot of practice.
-- What are your favorite Naruto characters? Kakashi is number one, without a doubt. :) Then, I guess I'd have to say Sai and Genma...and Sakura (depending on how the writer uses her character!)
-- Are you a girl or a boy? Girl. I know that you can't tell much from my name or picture, but I am indeed a member of the female-group.
-- What do you prefer to go by? I like to go by insanity. I've been called chronic before, and that's always kind of awkward to those who know the alternate meaning of the word.
-- Do you rp? No. Simple as that, no. I really don't like it and I don't understand why people like it so much. I have several friends who play it constantly, putting world of warcraft to shame with the amount of addictiveness. I've tried it, I didn't like it, and I won't play it.
--What's you're favorite smiley face? I guess you can call me old fashion. I like the classic :). :)
-- What languages do you know? American English is my native language, and I'm proud to say I've mastered it. :) I'm currently learning German, though I'd say I'm far from mastering that. Dative and genitive cases are kicking my butt, at the moment.
-- What music do you listen to? I'm not going to lie. Right now, I'm in a frenzy for old 50's and 60's American music. Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, The Penguins... Seriously, I've been listening to Earth Angel and Why Do Fools Fall In Love? over and over for a week straight. Amazing music, great talent, beautiful voices, and astounding composition and originality. So much better than 50 cent or Ke$ha.
-- Why do you write? Why? Because I love it. :) Simple as that. If I didn't like it, I wouldn't be doing it.
-- Do you do fanart? I do. I'd like to think I'm okay at it, but because everyone has a different opinion of what's good and what's not, go ahead and take a look for yourself. (deviantart account: link.)
-- Sorry for asking, do you do requests? Never be sorry for asking a question. :) Yes, I have recently started taking requests. There's a section here labeled 'requests' that you can check out.
Rants About My Stories
If anyone here isn't familiar with my stories and wants a quick once-over on the longer ones, go ahead and read this. I will warn you only once that I read and write both heterosexual and homosexual stories – although none will contain graphic lemons... I think we get enough of those on this site without me adding to them. Don't get me wrong, I read some of them so beware of my favorites list...but let's face it. About 97% of all writers that write lemons on this site don't know half of what they're trying to talk about, and it turns the entire thing into a train wreck. I refuse to add to that nightmare. Capish? Onto the story rants.
Training in Sensitivity - This is me, playing around with Sai and Sakura's character and looking at different ways they can be brought together aside from the classic, "I have no feelings...except that I like you," way.
That's Karma, Daph - I don't know if the horrible collection of self-inserts on this site bothers anyone else, but this is what I'm trying to do to show that you can have a realistic insert in a Naruto-universe story. Daphne's first problem? She doesn't speak Japanese.
Flower Girl - This one seems to be the most popular, and the first version was over 40 chapters. However, after getting some amazing constructive criticism, I'm going through and fixing everything that was wrong (and boy, were there some things wrong with that one).
All Her Choices - Don't expect constant updates on this one, because I can't promise that. I've been having some fun playing around with mafia!verse Sakura, but since it's new territory I'm going about it slowly.
Kasaoka Island - I actually have the entire script written out on this one, and even half of the descriptions...but fleshing it out is a pain in the butt so I'm working slowly on this one too.
The Unknown -
Hanabira (Part One) - This was intended to be part one of seven, but it was written so long ago that I don't want to start up on it again. It's up for anyone who wants to adopt it, but if you adopt it without working it out with me then you will be reported and the hounds will be sent after you. :)
Anyway, feel free to check out any of my stories. I always accept any form of response – be it a flame, constructive criticism or even mindless screaming (whether that screaming be good or bad).
My Community: Everything Kakashi
I recently started a community called: Everything Kakashi. Obviously...it's all about Kakashi Hatake, my favorite character from Naruto. I don't have any specific rules/guidelines as to ratings, yaoi/yuri or no yaoi/no yuri...so anything goes. I do, however, care about good quality stories. You won't see any High School fics or other overly-used plot lines, and anything with bad grammar/spelling is out.
If you want your story to be added to my community, go ahead and give me a PM with the title, and I'll read through it and let you know if it'll be added or not. If not, I'll explain why and give you some constructive criticism on how to make your story better.
I love reading stories. (That's a little obvious, isn't it?) I generally stick to Harry Potter, Naruto, and Avatar: The Last Airbender, so I would love to hear some reading suggestions. If you've recently read a really good story, send it my way. Just send me a link to the story if you still have it in your head that I bite. :)
UPDATE - 07/17/2011
I am, as of now, no longer a beta reader. I found that between work and looking over stories, I had no time to write my own. This is only temporary, and I will let everyone know when I am back in business and accepting stories once more. I'm sorry to anyone who is halfway through writing a story, and forced to switch beta readers (I know it's a pain in the butt). If you're having a hard time switching, I can help (just send me a PM) find a beta reader for you.
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