Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.
"We live in a world where pizza gets faster to your house then the police"
"3 people can keep a secret if 2 are dead"
"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and let the world wonder how you did it"
"If i get a grip on reality, I'd choke it"
"Wow you actually sound smart for once in your life" "It comes and goes...mostly goes, but I have my moments"
"If you want something done right, make it someone else's problem"
"Curiosity might have killed the cat, but I'm a dog person"
"I'm not crazy; I'm just going sane in an insane world."
"When life gives you lemons, throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes."
"When life gives you lemons, throw them back and say 'make your own freaking lemonade'."
"Before you insult someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you do insult them you are a mile away and you have their shoes."
"Haikus are easy
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."
"Who ever said anything was possible never tried nailing jello to a tree."
"Who ever said anything was possible never tried slamming a revolving door."
“Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.”
“When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.”
“Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't”
“Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.”
“If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? (yes of course)”
“Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.”
“If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!”
“Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.”
“A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.”
“Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?”
‘How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.”
“If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.”
“The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is 'uncopyrightable'!”
"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't accept me at my worst then you sure as heck don't deserve me at my best." -M. Monroe
"We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved." - Unknown
"We are angels born with only one wing. To truly fly, we must embrace each other."
"Good friends help you up when you fall down. Best friends laugh and trip you again."
“No trespassing, violators will be shot and survivors will be shot again.”
“If you join the dark side there is a good chance you will not die in my hands (You'll just part of my destruction)”
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night"
"Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."
“I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake.”
“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.”
“Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.”
“They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a truck.”
“Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.”
“I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.”
“I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.”
“Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words”
“If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.”
“My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.”
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me, he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.”
“I used up all of my sick days...so I'm calling in dead.”
“You're jealous cause the voices in my head talk to me and not you.”
“I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.”
“People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.”
“If at first you don’t succeed...Cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.”
Born in 1991, I am so a 90's kid.
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
REMEMBER WHEN ..