Author has written 1 story for Naruto.
Apparently I'm an offensive reviewer. So offensive, in fact, that people seem to block all communication avenues with me when I give them legitimate criticism. After, of course, they insult me to show their "superiority" over me. Which is amusing because by blocking me all their doing is showing their inability to accept criticism or continued criticism over any of their stories, no matter how twisted/creepy/outlandish/weird such criticism is.
I'm going into philosophy and psychology. I don't constantly look at things in one way; I keep trying to look at them in multiple ways. This doesn't mean, however, that I'm always able to. "I keep trying" are the important words of that sentence. Sometimes I can't think of another way to look at it, so I seem belligerent. If you think this is the case, please tell me. Explain to me your reasoning for something, tell me I'm being offensive (and please explain why or how I am, I don't always know I'm doing so).
If I seem insulting, please don't take it personally. I am used to saying things bluntly and I know that's sometimes hurtful but it's often the most expedient way to get a point across without misunderstandings. If I am hurtful, please tell me so since I sometimes forget that being too blunt can also be hurtful.
If you would like me to add to any of these sections, please PM me with what you want added and a thought out argument about why it's not true (or proof when it can be provided). I've only done Naruto (so far) because I know that the best and the cliche's are all ones I've seen.
If you have another series' you would like added and cliche's you can disprove, send them to me and I will add them. I'll even credit you.
If you have helpful advice you would like me to add, send it and if it's truly helpful I likely will.
If you find common mistakes and want me to post them up on my profile, send them to me.
A) Helpful Advice (for writing).
B) Common Mistakes in spelling in fanfiction that shouldn't be common (in fandoms I read).
C) Things brought about by Fanon.
Section C likely contains spoilers for the canon of whatever series it is that the section includes.
Disclaimer: I'm not putting these "rants" up because I'm a canon-enforcer or hate these concepts. I'm putting these up because people have started to believe they are canon, even though there's no proof beyond fanfiction. They are not canon and should not be treated as if they were. This section is merely to remind people that such concepts and ideas are not part of the canon universe.
It's fine if you want to tweak the canon universe your fic takes place in. I have no problem with interpretations and tweaks happening to twist a universe around for a fic to work. Such things often make a fic more interesting, in fact. However, when people start to believe those tweaks are canon with no proof besides fics they are in? That's when I start having a problem. Reminding them that such a thing isn't the case is the point of my profile. One person's "Head-canon" is not canon.
D) Things that bug me about Canon (just Naruto for now).
E) Things that bug me when used in fanfiction (and how to make them work)
A) Helpful Advice for writing fanfiction (or any other type of story):
1) Unsure what a word means? Look it up. Especially if that word is in another language. Google, Yahoo, Answers(.)com and other search engines are your friends. If you are writing a story you should write it as best as you can.
2) Don't use words in another language unless completely necessary and you either are fluent, have a trustworthy translator a click (or arms reach) away, or your beta/proof reader(s) can help you. This is more of a guideline than a rule though.
"Kami" as a replacement for "God" is such a common thing in the Naruto (and sometimes Bleach) fandom that it's stopped being funny at all. I don't know who started it or why, but it's never really been good to do. Ever. I can tolerate it, yeah, but the fact of the matter is that it is ridiculously inaccurate (Kami means Spirit or God in the sense of "Greek gods," or "Greek spirits/demons/deimos" and not in the sense of the Christian/Jewish/Islamic God, which is what it's being used for more often than not). Nowhere can I find a reference to God being offended by someone writing, typing, or saying "God" in any popular religious text. There's no justifiable reason or basis for this practice, so please stop doing it. At the very least parody it by using other religious names for God. They're very easy to look up via google, whether it be just translating God to another language or just searching for a certain religions titles used to refer to their God.
There are numerous "common" words being used in fanfiction that, quite simply, don't mean anything near what people seem to think they mean. "Sochi," for instance, does not actually mean "son" at all. In fact, I can find no reference anywhere that would indicate "sochi" meaning anything near son. It means "device/equipment" or "measure" from what I can find. The difference between "sochi" and any word that actually means "my child/son/daughter" is so huge that I don't even want to know who started this crap or how it caught on. I mean, really, nobody bothered to verify it?
The babylon translation site gives four words/phrases when you type "son" to be translated into Japanese. "Musuko (息子)," "Shisoku (子息)," "musume no otto (娘の夫)," and "shison (子孫)." Translating them back into English gives Son, Son, Son-in-law, and Progeny, respectively. None of those are close to "sochi" at all. Going to romaji(.)me and typing in "son" also gives back the word "Musuko" instead of anything close to "sochi." Typing in "measuring device" at that site gets me sokutei souchi (測定装置).
3) Get a Beta/proof reader. Sometimes more than one. This is simply because even if you have memorized all grammatical/spelling rules (and/or exceptions) when it comes to your language (and/or the one(s) you write in) that does not mean you do not make mistakes. All of us make mistakes, it's part of being mortal. If you're beta reader isn't helping you fix any grammar or spelling problems then you probably need another one that will.
4) Don't dismiss bad reviews automatically. If they provide no reason or advice and just say things like "OMG! U SUCK!" or "THIS STORIE IZ TEH LAME!!" over and over again, then you can go ahead and dismiss/politely ignore them. However, if you can find any bit of advice for your writing, then take it and absorb it. You don't have to respond, just make sure you read and take what you can from it. This is what separates the authors that will always be bad from the authors that have the potential to be good, and the authors that are good from the authors that have the potential to be great, and the great authors from the ones that have the potential to be Awesome.
Also, if you don't take criticism well, then you don't really need to be writing and publishing things to the world. Criticism is anything that says "this would be better." For instance, "this story would be better if it didn't switch Points of View every two or three paragraphs" is criticism, because it gives you advice on how to make the story a better read (by sticking to one, maybe two, PoVs and not changing it constantly). In addition, "this is weak, you could improve it" is also criticism. It's stated negatively, instead of positively, but it's still criticism.
In addition, when someone is first reading your story, they may give reviews that don't take into account later chapters. This is called "reacting as it's read." If you bitch at these people, you really need to take into account that they're are reviewing your story AS THEY READ it. This means they are pointing out what may be flaws at the time it was written, or from somebody that had read it as it was first uploaded.
This means that when you explain something LATER they haven't gotten to it yet. So this would probably be, y'know, a good thing to ignore. For the time being. Or to say that it's explained later, instead of calling them an idiot right of the bat. When you respond to these reviews and call them stupid for not reading the story all the way through, you are being a troll, or an idiot. This site was made so that you can review EACH CHAPTER, and that's what you are supposed to do.
5) When writing fanfiction that diverges from canon, tell us where the divergence happened. Don't just start out saying "oh, Naruto's a sociopath that's going to murder the entire world." Give us a reason that he's a sociopath bent on murdering/going to murder the entire world. What happened in his childhood to make him want to do so?
If you have Inuyasha despise humans just as much as his brother, what brought upon this reaction? Was he raised by Sesshoumaru's mother? Was he taught by Sesshoumaru himself in his childhood about humans and their selfish hatred of anything different than them? Did Inuyasha not know his mother, which would remove all good human influences (that we know of) from his past?
As long as there's a reason for it, it can usually be explained, and if it can be explained you have less of a chance for plot holes. Which means better writing/stories, which leads to you improving yourself. If you don't want to improve yourself, you can go ahead and ignore this and stay stagnant.
An addendum to this is what "Out of Character" really is. As ShinigamiXtreme put it: "Fanfics are ooc by nature, if you think about it. None of us is one of the original artists, and our stories differ from the original stories' plot anyway."
I think we need a bit of a better definition of "out of character" than just "s/he does things they normally wouldn't do."
6) Stick to one naming convention. If you are going to use the Western naming convention (Birth Middle Family) then use only the Western naming convention. If you are going to use the Eastern naming convention (Family/Clan Birth) then use only the Eastern naming convention. Don't switch back and forth between them because you'll only confuse and frustrate your readers, and nobody wants to read a story that makes them work at figuring out the naming system.
What I would think is common courtesy, but most people seem to ignore or outright disregard:
Don't block people when you want them to reply (most people block them right before or after they send a message, with half of it begging a reply).
Don't block people when they give you criticism, only when they flame you without reason. There is a big difference between saying "this is weak, you might want to improve it in this or that way" and "this sucks" without giving a reason for why it sucks or how to improve it.
7) Know the difference between two ways of writing things in narration. Sometimes it's not a big deal, however, at other times the implications can be rather big. For example, there's a difference between "widened her/his eyes" and "her/his eyes widened" and their implications.
The implication with " Widened her/his eyes" is that they chose to do so voluntarily. A person that is "widening their eyes" doesn't do so out of reflex from surprise/horror (or anything else), but because they are likely acting and/or deceiving somebody. In other words, the implication is "I widened my eyes to convey surprise to my audience" (like one would when telling a story) instead of something like "My eyes widened [involuntarily] out of surprise/dismay/horror" like it would be if it was "her/his eyes widened."
Little things like this can completely change the narration and tense and setting of a story.
8) Don't use what if questions in your summary! I can't stress this enough. This gives the reader a chance to answer the question themselves, and a writer should want the readers interested in what they are writing. The writer shouldn't want the reader to be interested in what they think might be written. Expectations built up from such a question in the summary can absolutely kill a story if the reader didn't outright dismiss the story because of the use of a what if question.
"What if he did this?" Can easily be rephrased as "He went with a different course of action" instead. Hell, it can easily be made dramatic by something as simple as "On the precipice of a different choice is made, throwing things into chaos." BAM! Easily changed and it didn't make it seem like the writer can't write a summary.
The logic of dismissing the story of a person that uses "what if" questions (or just a "can't write summary, is good story, plz try") is quite simple, but let me spell it out.
"They can't write a summary? Even a short one? Well, obviously, if they can't write 250 words and make them interesting then they can't write 1000 or more. No point in wasting my time reading that." In other words, there's no reason to trust that a person can write a story if they can't write a small blurb and make it interesting.
9) Don't have a huge number of author's notes in the middle of your story. Nobody wants to be reading a story only to suddenly come across a sentence or paragraph of text that has absolutely nothing to do with the story. It completely ruins the flow of the story, utterly annihilating any semblance of immersion into the story. The better the immersion into the story the worse it is when a reader comes across an AN in the middle of it.
Heck, nobody really wants to read 2 or more pages worth of author's notes in the beginning of the story, especially not if its all review replies (which you can do via the site's pm system), advertisements of your stories (which would likely be read if your writing was good enough to catch a readers interest), or mindless character babbling. The first one is just irritating, especially when there is absolutely no context. Put it at the end, where the people that you are replying to are probably going to be the only ones to see it. The second one makes me think you aren't able to write well enough to make things interesting and so I often end up closing the tab or window. If you want people to read other things you write, then impress them with your writing. Don't throw such things in their face by including the summary of every story you've written in every chapter of every other story you write (and yes, I have seen this happen). The third, where the author and characters comment on the story, is more often than not juvenile and unnecessary. I don't mind if it's a lead in, or something, but when it's nothing but violent comedy gags, sex jokes, and hate filled rants? Well, I close those stories before I even get to the story.
B) Common Mistakes in spelling (and/or grammar) in fanfiction that really shouldn't be common:
Typing could, instead of couldn't, when it doesn't make sense. Check those to make sure.
Check your homonyms. Something that might help is not using contractions when you first write, or type, things. Contractions are just one more homonym to confuse you with. If you often find yourself realizing you have the wrong word, or someone often points it out to you, then find something that will help you realize what you need to use. It can be a word game, it can be replacing the word with homonyms and seeing if that makes more sense, and/or it could be just reading everything out loud.
"Where" is a place or location. "Were" is the plural past tense of "are," with "was" being the singular past tense. "We're" is a contraction or abbreviation of the words "we are." If you write a sentence with "were" and you can replace it with "We are" and it makes more sense? That typically means you're using the wrong word.
"There" is a word to refer to a place or location. "Their" is used to indicate possession, indicating that something belongs to them. "They're" is a contraction of "They are" and can't be used a modifier, only a subject (who or what does the action) and verb (the action itself).
You can find websites that can help with these things and more grammar problems quite easily. Looking them up doesn't mean you are stupid. It just means that you are willing to accept help. That you have the courage to admit an imperfection. This means you are smarter and wiser than quite a number of people that make mistakes, but would never even think it was their fault or be willing to apologize for something they did.
If people call you stupid for making mistakes all that means is that they're hypocrites and not worth listening to when they express such a sentiment. That doesn't mean don't find a way to fix it, it just means don't listen to the insults.
Using Yōki (or Youki) when referring to a race of demons or monsters. Yōki would be the energy they use, not the monster itself. This is like saying "human energy" when referring to a human being. Yōkai (or Youkai) is the demon itself, Yōki is the energy belonging to the demon. This could also apply to any series that has demons or monsters in them.
Misspelling Zanpakutou as Zanpaktou, Zanbaktou, or something similar. Regardless of the early translations misspelling it in the manga, they are wrong and have since been corrected.
Misspelling Kisuke as Kiske. Just because the "u" is virtually silent vocally doesn't mean it isn't there in writing.
Misspelling Shinigami as Shishigami, Shikigami, Shimigami, or Shinegami. I'm pretty sure Shishigami is really just a character from Princess Mononoke (and means "Lion-Spirit") while a Shikigami is something completely different (something to do with paper, iirc). I have no clue what a Shimigami would be, and all I know about Shinegami is that it's completely wrong.
Misspelling Reiatsu as Reitsu, or riatsu.
Misspelling Inuzuka as Inuzaku or Inizuka.
Misspelling Aburame as Aburami or Abirame.
Misspelling Tsunade as Tsunande, Tsuande, or Tsuniade.
Garra when it is spelled Gaara, or Subaku when Sabaku is correct.
Misspelling Chakra as charka or some thing similar.
Sharingan as Sharigan or Sharrigan.
Misspelling/misusing Bunshin as Bushin. Bushin doesn't mean Clone/Doppleganger; Bunshin does.
Misspelling Hitai-ate (which is the Forehead Protector they wear) as something else like Hi-ate, or Hitei-ate.
Misnaming various people, such as Morino Ibiki being misnamed as Morino Hibiki.
THIS NEXT SECTION LIKELY CONTAINS SPOILERS. DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU HATE SPOILERS AND HAVEN'T READ THE SERIES IT'S TALKING ABOUT.
C) Things brought about by Fanon:
Shirosaki or Ogichi being the name of Ichigo's Hollow: Neither are the name for Ichigo's Hollow. Shirosaki was used because of the fact that Ichigo's last name is Kurosaki. Kuro is "black" and Shiro is "white" and somebody somewhere thought that made sense or was a funny pun to use. Ogichi is from a volume or chapter cover that had Ichigo's Hollow on it and Ichigo's name backwards. The former was someone trolling you. The latter was the author trolling you. Ichigo's Hollow said it best during his fight with Ichigo for dominance. "I am Zangetsu!"
A Zanpakuto needing to change it's shape or size and therefore having it's weight changed:
In a 2007 interview (United States Shōnen Jump interview; June 2007 issue), this was stated:
"No matter what form (or size) a Zanpakutō takes, it is always virtually effortless for its owner to wield because it is a part of its owner's soul."
This means that all those debates about how much Gin's zanpakuto would weigh when it extends a couple kilometers out, or how much Ichigo's weighs, are pointless. To their wielders, it doesn't matter how much they weigh because it's their a part of their SOUL, so FUCK YOUR LOGIC.
Ranma has to have his curse to be Ranma: I have to disagree completely. Ranma is Ranma regardless of whether he has a curse or not if it's well written enough. He's got a huge Ego and the curse only made it even easier than it would have been to manipulate him into doing something by calling him a girl. He's got a big complex about that even before the curse and that's easily seen via his father having called him a girl for (apparently) years and getting Ranma to do whatever Genma wanted him to. This isn't even including the psychological problems he developed even before the manga/anime started. Saying he's "defined by his curse" or that he "has to have his curse" is kind of like saying Kenichi from HSDK has to have a wimpy body, or that Oga (from Beelzebub) is defined by his malicious-looking smile, or that Rukia has to have been the Shinigami to get ordered to Karakura town for Ichigo to meet. Heck, Luffy can still be Luffy with a different Cursed Fruit. He could still be Luffy without any Cursed Fruit. It's their mindsets that define them, not some extraneous thing that happened to them at one point or another. This kind of thought just seems incredibly limiting to a writer. Isn't writing creatively supposed to have limitless possibilities?
SS-rank and above anything: They don't exist. If you want a reason why, go ask the creator. S-rank missions already "concern state-level confidential matters" so I'm not seeing how you'd put something above that considering "state-level" here means Country, which is ruled by the Daimyo. The Daimyo is the highest authority in the Narutoverse, after all.
Kage are the highest rank as well, so saying something is beyond that doesn't mean anything because there's nothing beyond that. All it earns is, maybe, a fancy title, like Sarutobi Hiruzen's "God of Shinobi" title and the Sage of the Six Paths' title as "Savior of this world." It might mean "something even a Kage can't do by themselves" such as seems to be the case with that Four Red Yang Formation technique (which I still don't get, considering there have never been a moment in time where four "Kage level" shinobi have worked together for something like that, so where the heck did the technique come from?).
The "Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan" giving the recipient Immortality/Agelessness: There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that suggests this besides the name (which isn't really suggesting that; morons just stop thinking when anything synonymous with "Immortality" is mentioned). Madara wasn't Immortal (proven by how he was dead of old age in canon until he was revived via Edo Tensei); that was something Itachi perceived because of how Tobi was deceiving everyone. Remember, Itachi said "what you believe makes up your reality" and Itachi was either tricked into believing it or trying to make Sasuke believe it and gain fear/wariness of Tobi so Sasuke would avoid that person.
The "Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan" is quite simply just a "Mangekyo Sharingan" that will never "lose it's light to darkness (ie, won't go blind after prolonged use)" unless forbidden techniques like Izanagi and Izanami are used. This was explained by Itachi and in the back story Tobi gave about Madara.
Jiraiya not having money saved up being the reason he takes Naruto's money: This is incorrect. I'll have to find it again, but I'm certain Kishimoto has said that Jiraiya has about the same amount of money saved that Tsunade has in debt.
Shimura Danzo, Mitokado Homura, and Utatane Koharu thinking of Naruto as a demon: I can't find anything in canon to support this. Danzo's own philosophy is "Emotions lead one to hate… and hate leads one to conflict and war…" as he said to Sai when the latter was introduced. Such a philosophy as that would make him consciously try to suppress such feelings even if he had them. Homura and Koharu probably knew about Kushina (and maybe Mito) being Jinchuuriki as well. While they might hate Kurama/The Kyuubi, they likely wouldn't transfer such feelings to Naruto.
These three are Militant, not hateful. Expanding on that are the next two paragraphs.
Danzo thinks Self-Sacrifice is a duty of the ninja and that emotions can only lead to hate. He would, most likely, praise a Jinchuuriki, especially if they willingly take on such a burden. However, he wouldn't agree with Mito's whole "fill them with love to defeat hate" philosophy, instead probably preferring to remove such emotions from them.
Homura and Koharu are Militant, knowledgeable, and experienced. They believe that "the group/village" is more important than "the person" and that makes them seem hateful, but they aren't. They're simply taking into account the number of lives that could be lost if the person stays within the village as a target and how many could be saved if they weren't there and were known to be somewhere else (though the location likely wouldn't be given out). It's callous to "the person" but they are thinking more like an Utilitarian (where the greatest happiness/benefit is the one that benefits the most, with everyone counting as one) than anything else. They would probably suggest to restrict the movements of anyone they believed were harming the village, so it's not a matter of hate, but what they see as most beneficial to the village.
"Namikaze" being a Clan of some sort: There's absolutely no mention of Namikaze being a clan anywhere in canon. This probably came about to make Naruto seem "more important" to Konoha in fanon and justify the bashing of everyone and everything within or around Konoha in fics. There is no "Namikaze" clan and I am relatively certain Kishimoto himself does not call them the "Namikaze family." I have heard of him referring to them as the "Uzumaki family" but I am unable to find the interview for this so far. Naruto likely wouldn't take "Namikaze" as a surname even if he could, and one reason is because it was likely his father's choice to become an Uzumaki through marriage, or his parents choice to name him Uzumaki, and I can't see Naruto disregarding his parents' wishes like that without major personality change.
In addition, I've never seen an example of a Japanese person using two last names to continue a line. Nor have I seen it in any historical case.
Tsunade being Naruto's Godmother, or close to Kushina and/or Minato (brought up by Vanex): Highly unlikely. While Tsunade was related to the Uzumaki clan, it was through her grandmother, and Tsunade was likely out of the village and roaming around or completely depressed by the time Kushina came into the village. We don't see her during the flashbacks of the Kyuubi attack, nor does anyone talk about her during the "Third Shinobi War" flashbacks. Since Tsunade's little brother (Nawaki) and lover (Dan Kato) died during the Second Shinobi War, it isn't unreasonable to think she got away from the village immediately after it ended, if not sometime during the war. This would have made it nearly impossible for her to have known Kushina and/or Minato through any medium other than brief visits to the village (unlikely), messages from Jiraiya or Sarutobi (probably unwanted), updates about the Third Shinobi War (likely avoided because of her depression and binging), or similar things. She likely did know them in some capacity, but it was probably through reputation (this personality, that jutsu, this fighting style they used, etc.) or Jiraiya (who might have told her stories in an attempt to cheer her up when he wasn't doing other things).
Minato secretly being the child of Jiraiya and Tsunade (brought up by Vanex): Rather unlikely as well. Not only is the hair color wrong (on both ends), but Minato does not resemble either of them. Neither were the two ever romantically involved. Tsunade is still very much in love with Dan nearly 30 years after his death (Dan died at 27, she's 54 in Part 2, and they didn't seem too far apart in age), and Jiraiya is highly unlikely to have even tried to take advantage of her in any way. These two things together remove the possibility of Minato being their child.
In addition, I can't see them both abandoning their child. And the whole "for his own protection" crap doesn't hold water at all either. They were two of the "Legendary Three Nin" and if they can't protect their own child then no child would have been claimed by their parents (even in clans) in the history of the world in Naruto.
A Summoning Realm: I have never seen any proof of this. Myōbokuzan is hidden, just like Ryūchi Cave is, not in another dimension or realm, though considering how well it seems to be hidden one might as well consider it as such. Kakashi's dogs, if I remember right, live in his house and he takes care of them.
All Summons being part of a Summoning Clan: I have never seen any proof of this. Hanzo of the Salamander's summon, for one, doesn't seem to have a clan. Neither do any of the Rinnegan summons, though those might just be corpses of giant animals Nagato used.
Bijuu Being Demons, A Demon Realm, and/or Demons Existing in Naruto: I can find no proof of these. In the pilot, and for the first dozen or so chapters (before everything was altered), the Bijuu might have been Demons, however, it's been made clear that they are Chakra Constructs as of the current build/plans made by Kishimoto. Them being referred to as "demons" is likely either a title given to them by humans, or because of their seemingly typical behavior when out of the seal, or when forced to interact with their Jinchuuriki.
However, that does not mean they are demons. They are likely just pissed off and their hatred reinforced over dozens, if not hundreds, of years. I'd be pissed off as well if I've been controlled, enslaved, forcibly imprisoned, and most likely isolated (look at the effects of isolation on the human mind, which the Bijuu minds seem to resemble). Especially if it was because of things either beyond my control, whether it be fear or greed of other beings or something else. Even more so if those beings are using tricks my own creator made to help people and stop an evil apocalyptic predecessor, and that such teachings were being perverted and twisted into something evil and dark.
We have no idea if there's a Demon Realm, but the recent revelations about the Bijuu is highly suggestive that there isn't. EDIT: Scratch that, it's not just highly suggestive. It might as well have been outright stated.
As for "demons" beyond the bijuu existing, unlikely unless you're talking about the anime canon. I don't often do so. And even the anime canon demons can be explained as excess/left behind chakra (alternatively it could have been deliberately gathered and infused/sealed chakra to gain power) by either the bijuu or their predecessor. Sort of like how all demons in Diablo are simply skin flakes from the Original Prime Evil (Tathamet, iirc).
Naruto having a scar above his heart: I don't know where this came from, but from what I remember he was hit on his right side, not his left side, and so unless he has dextrocardia the scar should be over his lung, not his heart. However, even if he has dextrocardia it is unlikely other people will assume he has that condition, so they would still think it was above his lung. In addition, from what I remember (and correct me if I'm wrong), didn't the wound completely heal of any remaining marks by the end of the battle?
Naruto being a Saint-like being/person in the beginning: Naruto was not a good, saint-like guy in the beginning of the manga. He was just as much an asshole as Sasuke, and had just as many flaws as the rest of the Team he was assigned to. Naruto was an arrogant, over-bearing, self-centered, moronic jerk in the beginning of the manga. Over time he has improved drastically, just like Sakura has. However, Kakashi has barely improved (he is still lazy, caught up in/concentrated on the past, and a number of other things I could say though recently has seemed to improved) and Sasuke seems to be have started going on a downward spiral since he got the Cursed Seal, which seemed to have increased his aggression and jealousy and negativity. The 3 days of torture at the hands of his brother in Tsukuyomi probably didn't help.
Rock Lee's mangled chakra coils: Rock Lee can use chakra (as evidenced when he walks on trees and water in the manga/anime). The misconception brought about by Fanon is that he can't use chakra because of mangled/destroyed chakra coils. However, he is stated, in canon, to have "no talent" for ninjutsu and genjutsu (by his teacher Gai and the Databook). "No talent" at an aspect of energy manipulation does not mean the same thing as "completely unable to use" said energy, despite what many people may say.
Also, destroyed chakra coils? Yeah, that would be something close to saying he's dead. Everything has chakra. Apparently, even animals and plants. The coils are so intertwined with the body, in fact, that to mangle them would probably mangle organs and those are pretty vital. So if they were mangled/destroyed, you can bet that the body would also be mangled/destroyed and Rock Lee (or anyone else) wouldn't be using Taijutsu either.
Sasuke saying "That power should be mine!": This is completely false. Not once did Sasuke rage over somebody else getting/having a power that should "rightfully be his because he's an Uchiha" or something, at least not that I can recall. He only started to show extreme pride in being an Uchiha in Part 2, and before that showed pride in his Sharingan, and the pride in his Sharingan is rightfully earned (though it's a bit excessive). The Sharingan is an extremely powerful tool and bloodline limit, no matter what others say. Sasuke has said "What is this power!?" before, but not "That power should be mine!"
Naruto being beaten before Canon/as a child: There is no proof for this whatsoever. We know he was ignored and disliked/hated, but we do not know if he was beaten. All evidence points to the opposite, in fact. If it's punishable by execution to call him names that could be even associated with the Kyuubi no Yōko, what the hell do you think beating him or cheating him would get them? Most likely executed or tortured to death, maybe even both.
Heck, we don't even know if he was hated, really. Everyone seems to know all about Naruto's heritage, so it could very well be that he was just ignored instead of disliked/hated because of that. As a jinchuriki, he would have been hated. However, as the son of a Kage and a descendant of the Uzumaki clan, he would be watched for instability but otherwise ignored.
Naruto living in a crappy, broken down, old and moldy apartment with graffiti on the walls and broken windows and other various things: This is completely incorrect. In fact, in the databooks, there's a floor plan of where he lives and it's a rather nice, big place, if a bit sparse. It looks a bit run down and somewhat moldy, but that could be because it's a sketch. The anime gives a bigger look into his apartment though, and that's based on the databook entry.
Naruto's Apartment from the databook: http://darlingdork.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/speaking_naruto_s_apartment_by_abundridge-d4tbp8x.jpg
Orochimaru's last/family name being Mitarashi: Big Fat Fanon. We don't know his family/last name. Besides, I'm pretty sure it was explicitly stated in canon (most likely databooks) that Anko was Orochimaru's apprentice/student, not his daughter or of any relation to him.
Naruto's obsession with Ramen: This isn't nearly as gigantic as many fanfictions make it out to be. I'm pretty sure that the first time this showed up was because it was done for humorous purposes. That...sadly, isn't how it is now. Now, it's just gotten ridiculous, cliché, and old. Make him like Ramen, make him love it, but please don't make him have it as the only thing he eats (nobody could live solely on Ramen, even a Jinchūriki), with him keeping Ichiraku's afloat by himself. That just can't happen.
I'm starting to think that some of these author's have never eaten a bowl of Ramen, and/or read the ingredients and nutrition labels on them, even more so when I keep coming across stories where he's apparently eating instant ramen for every meal, and stand-ramen only once a week. The American equivalent would be eating McDonald's (or Burger King's, or Taco Bell's, or Sonic's, or Dairy Queen's, or Arby's, or Pizza Street's, etc.) for a month or two for every meal. You'll either get extremely fat and have tons of health problems, and/or die from the consequences if not the intake.
Chakra control degrading: This seems to be one of the BIGGEST problems with fanon. When one gets more chakra there's no indication that the control one has "degrades" or "goes away" or any sort of thing. If this happened, all Jinchūriki would have problems controlling their abilities, but they don't. There's no indication that Naruto has to do tree-climbing (or water-walking, or kunai-balancing, or leaf-floating) every day for hours at a time in order to keep his chakra under control. It's not like a muscle in that sense, you don't "use it or lose it" at all from what we've seen.
One only receives an advantage or disadvantage when starting exercises depending on their level of chakra, but you always ends with the same control. You don't get "certain degrees of control" from an exercise. And there's no point in having him get "degrees of control" from an exercise either. It adds nothing to the story in any way whatsoever.
It's like doing a stretch designed to increase flexibility. People will start out at different levels, but in the end they are all going to be able to complete the exercise if done long enough and well enough. And since ninja use their chakra for nearly everything, there's no chance that it's going to degrade like the flexibility of the body might if you stop exercising.
Only One Summoning Contract Per Person: Looking only at the surface, there's more to suggest that people can have as many summoning contracts as they want. The Summoning Technique apparently makes a contract between two or more beings. This being said, there's nothing to say making such a contract would restrict one from making another such contract. Nagato had quite a number of summons, though those could be dead bodies of giant animals he possessed with his Chakra Receivers.
We even have evidence of being able to summon people. Iruka was summoned by two scrolls after the Forest of Death, Konan was summoned by Nagato at one point, Jiraiya and Naruto can be summoned by the Toads (though it's called "reverse summoning"), and it's even been suggested that Minato based his Hiraishin technique on summoning. If you could only have one summoning contract, then that would mean whoever made the above examples likely would never be able to make another contract, unless somehow it was miraculously made into a "one-time" contract (though there's no evidence to suggest there's such a thing).
One problem with having multiple summoning contracts would be that it's not a very plausible thing to do, in addition to the fact that most summons probably don't get along well. Just one Boss Summon requires a ridiculous amount of chakra, so much so that it's practically impossible for most people, even with better-than-average control. The characters that can summon in Naruto are all characters with ridiculous amounts of chakra, or that have a special tie with their summon. Kakashi literally owns and houses the dogs he summons (according to the databooks, they live with him), Nagato's bodies were all dead and controlled by his chakra (including his summons, apparently), Orochimaru became "part snake" thanks to his experiments, Hiruzen Sarutobi's personal summon was Enma, Hanzo of the Salamander's personal summon was Ibuse.
I will admit, however, that there's nothing to suggest it's possible either. Sasuke's transferal of summoning contract from Snake to Hawk non-withstanding because that was metaphorical just as much as it was literal--we have no idea when he got it, or if he was forced to give up the snake contract beforehand (though with him killing Manda that's entirely possible), and he hasn't used it since.
Sealing Requires Ink and Paper: Not from what we've seen. Sealing requires Chakra, Blood, and Hand Seals from what little we've seen. Minato was able to tag a person's foot with his Hiraishin seal by touching him for less than a second, and did so again in a flashback to Killer Bee's tentacle. He didn't have ink supplies in his hand either.
The Summoning Technique has never required ink in any of the times we've seen it, the seals just appear when the technique is used.
The Contract seal Minato used on Tobi to free the Nine-Tails from his control only required Tobi's blood (iirc), Minato's chakra, and physical contact.
The Dead Demon Consuming Seal used to permanently seal away half of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox's chakra into the stomach of the Death God only requires Hand-Seals and Chakra (and one's soul).
The Eight Trigrams Sealing Style (derived from two Four Symbols Seals drawn together apparently) used to seal the other half of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox's chakra into Naruto required Chakra and Hand-seals as well, though it might have required a bit of blood but the scene it was used in was rife with blood anyway.
The mind/spy seals that Sasori uses on his spies are inside people's skulls, if not inside their brains, and I highly doubt he was required to cut people open, keep them alive, write the seal, and then sew them back up every time he placed, activated, modified, or removed a seal. In fact, he wasn't even really in the general vicinity when he activated the seal on his spy in Suna.
Fūjutsu Kyūin, the absorption technique used by the Preta Path, is implied to be a Fūinjutsu Ninjutsu hybrid and that definitely doesn't seem to require blood, ink, or anything else besides the Rinnegan and chakra.
Fūinjutsu: Genryū Kyūfūjin, the sealing technique used by the Akatsuki to extract the Tailed Beasts from their hosts, is also a sealing technique that doesn't seem to require anything beyond people (users), a victim, chakra, and the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path.
So yeah, Sealing does NOT require Ink, or some special kind of paper, or anything like that. It might help when they're first being made, or when unfamiliar with a seal, but they're not required.
Uchiha Sasuke being spoiled by the Council after the Massacre (reminded by Van der Ay): This is not only highly unlikely, but also completely implausible. Since the only "council" in Konoha is the Council of Elders, and they ordered the massacre of his clan because his clan was apparently (and I only say apparently because it's Madara, who is a lying liar that lies out of his lie hole, that told Sasuke this) going to start a civil war in Konoha. Taking in the state of the Elemental Countries that most likely would have gotten everyone in Konoha killed. I highly doubt a council consisting only of members that ordered the execution of his clan would attempt to suck up to the last survivor of the clan. They had wanted him dead.
They never wanted a "last loyal Uchiha" they wanted "all dead Uchiha" only. And they wouldn't have been feeling guilty enough to suck up to him, either. They've likely done things they regretted, but that hadn't stopped them from doing those things. Koharu and Homura were more like Danzō then they were like Hiruzen Sarutobi, and even Hiruzen Sarutobi didn't feel any great guilt about the entire thing. So yeah, none of them likely felt guilty. And if they had, they likely just shoved it aside or consoled themselves with "they were going to get everyone killed." Danzō likely just said "Emotion leads to Hatred. Hatred leads to War."
Civilians Hijacking/Ruling the Council (reminded by Van der Ay): There is no evidence to suggest that civilians, merchants or "royalty" or anything else, have ever been on the council. There are only two councils we know of. The Council of Elders (Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura), who advised the Sandaime, and the Council of Fire, which convened to find a new Hokage when Tsunade was temporarily incapacitated in the manga. The only technical civilians on either of those councils were the Daimyō and his advisers (as far as we know) on the Council of Fire. Otherwise, you had the AnBu Commander, Jōnin Commander, the Council of Elders (see above), and Danzō on it. All of which were ninja at, at the very least, one point in their life. In other words: Ninja Villages are Dictatorships, not Democracies. And the same goes for the countries they reside in, actually. So yeah, the entire Elemental Countries are Dictatorships, not Democracies, no matter how much you think they are.
Alternative names for Elemental Country ANBU: BOULDER/ROCK, MIST/HAZE, SHOCK/STORM/BOLT, and SAND/GRAIN/DUNE are the ones I've seen so far. I'm pretty sure you can guess from the rather unoriginal names the countries they are for as well.
"ANBU" stands for "Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai (暗殺戦術特殊部隊)" and is shortened into "ANBU (暗部)" and the full name means "Special Assassination and Tactical Squad." The shortened version can be translated as "Dark Side" which is signifying that they are covert and mysterious, which is only compounded by their masks and uniforms.
None of those exist as alternatives to ANBU. If they were coded for the different villages, then it wouldn't be "ANBU" it would be "LEAF/EMBER" or something. So no, BOULDER/ROCK, MIST/HAZE, SHOCK/STORM/BOLT, and SAND/GRAIN/DUNE are NOT the official/unofficial names of the other villages version of ANBU. ANBU is the name of their version of ANBU.
And if they did use them, which they don't, what the hell would they stand for? I can't think of a single thing in either language that would translate to "covert and mysterious organization" with the anagram "SAND" or "MIST" much less one for "BOULDER" or "BOLT." Not to mention the fact that you are projecting your own language onto another language rather horribly. Just use "Spec Squad" or "SATS" or something instead of ANBU if you don't like using ANBU.
If you change it so they do use different ones then be consistent. Change "ANBU" as well to something like "EMBER" or "LEAF" or something similar.
ANBU being a Ninja Rank: It isn't. ANBU is an organization, like the Konoha Military Police or Akatsuki, not a Ninja Rank. Please stop using it as one.
Sannin being a Ninja Rank: It isn't. I don't know how this started, but "Sannin" isn't a Ninja Rank any more than any other title or nickname given to a Shinobi is. Please don't use it as a "measurement of power/strength" either.
Ninja have to dress in black to be considered competent: Bullshit. I don't know where people get this idea from. NOBODY IN NARUTO dresses completely in black besides Akatsuki (and even they have color), who are a criminal and mercenary organization that dress the way they do for symbolic reasons from their past as a peace-seeking organization, and maybe ROOT/Ne, who apparently do not officially exist.
Also, it's obvious that ninja in Naruto doesn't mean "assassin/thief/spy" to most unless it's got either ANBU or Ne or "dark side of ninja" around it (like Danzo). That wouldn't get ninja jobs from citizens that want them to walk their dogs, or weed their gardens, or protect them from bandits. Which are all jobs THAT ARE (manga) CANON (and that's not including anime jobs). Ninja are obviously considered body-guards, messengers, medics, item retrievers, delivery people, and so on by civilians and most other "light side" ninja. Mercenaries that aren't going to turn around and kill you out of nowhere once the job is done.
ANBU, Hunter-nin, and (counter) intelligence are all "dark side" and likely go "unseen" by civilians because it would hurt reputation.
Dressing completely in black as a ninja would be, in fact, counter-productive in Naruto. They want to be seen, especially by the clients they want to hire them.
The stereotype of ninja in Western culture of somebody wearing all black? That originated from, if I recall correctly, Kabuki plays where people wore black body suits and moved around in the background as a signifier that they weren't there. In other words, they were people that moved things around back before they started using wire rigging and such to do so. In addition to that, they may have been "assassins" sometimes in plays where a person dies on cue. A real ninja wouldn't have worn such things because it would make them stand out. If you're going to assassinate someone or steal from them you obviously do not want to stand out. You want to be a forgettable servant, or somebody that belongs there--that nobody would give a second thought to.
None of the above even gets started on how badly black would blend into the desert, a mountain, or bright green leaves, just to name a few environments that we see ninja have to traverse for their missions, or that we see them LIVING IN.
I will be updating this as I go along and come across them.
D) Things that bug me about Canon Naruto:
Gold and Silver Brothers being eaten by Kyuubi: When the hell did the Gold and Silver Brothers(Kinkaku and Ginkaku) get eaten by the Kyuubi? With the timeline as it is, the only time they could have had that happen from what I can tell would be before Uchiha Madara summoned/controlled it with his battle against Hashirama. That's before the Villages formations, or almost right after it, but if it's after it that makes no sense because we're told that Madara summoned it in battle against Hashirama for the right to be Hokage and that means the Kyuubi was most likely sealed at, or right after, the Villages formation. And even before that, Hashirama had apparently subjugated every single Bijuu even before the formation of the villages, according to Madara. After becoming Hokage and the emergence of the other villages, he'd apparently handed every single Bijuu except the Kyuubi out, and that's because the Kyuubi was in his wife at the time.
Which would mean that Mito either let the Kyuubi rampage for a while (which I highly doubt), it escaped at some point (which I doubt even more than the first option), or that they had tried to capture Mito, and she let it go wild for the battle (which is even less likely, considering the amount of damage it could have done and the flashbacks we've seen via kyuubi about Hashirama's, Mito's, and Kushina's thoughts on his power) and at least two weeks after the battle.
And if it's before, that means they would have been ordered to capture it before Kumo had been created, since the Senju and Uchiha clans coming together to make Konohagakure is what made other clans go "OH SHI--" and make their own villages. Which means they would have been ordered to capture the Kyuubi by the Shodai or Nidaime Raikage before he became their leader, which means they were in the same clan, which means they killed their own family in battle a lot, because they were famous for "using deceit and killing allies" in battle in order to emerge victorious.
So we've got:
Bijuu Subjugated by Shodai/Kyuubi controlled by Madara -> Senju and Uchiha Peace Treaty/Ceasefire -> Village Formation -> Battle for Shodai Hokage title -> Kyuubi sealed into Mito -> Bijuu handed out to other villages by Shodai
And somewhere in there, "Gold And Silver Brothers Eaten" but I can't figure out where. Maybe before they were subjugated by the Shodai?
Anyone else having trouble figuring this one out?
E) Things that bug me when used in fanfiction (and how to make them work)
Let me just say that I really dislike that I'm writing this section at all, but some things I can't stand reading.
Inexplicably no longer perverted Issei: The stories that start some time in the middle of canon, but don't have Issei making a single perverted comment or thought ever. I'm sorry, but that's no longer Issei. That's a self-insert named Issei. Issei in canon goes through a number of traumatic events, but that doesn't stop him from being perverted. Making him experience some "horrible" tragedy and completely lose all of his perversion damn near overnight is completely unrealistic and would probably result in his friends finding him weird or depressed and bring all sorts of problems to the story in the future. Issei's main motivation for saving a couple people, and even joining the Occult Club, was that "they had big boobs" and so his main motivation when he's no longer perverted would be...what? That it's the right thing to do? That he has no choice? Sorry, but I can't see the story moving very far along if he's suddenly no longer perverted for no reason or because of just one event. Perversion was his biggest personality trait. Without that he's just dumb, untalented, unlucky, hesitant, and unathletic. And where does that leave him? Doing nothing.
This isn't to say it can't be done, but one event doing it damn near overnight is unrealistic. Have a series of events that show him that perverted things get him in trouble, cause his dream of having a harem to be impossible, get him caught in traps, and so on. Raynare/Amano Yuuma, just one such incident, left him with trouble initiating intimacy with the women he loves. It left him so hesitant that even his perversion, one of his biggest personality traits, wouldn't allow him to grope boobies in the light novel because of a fear that they would ask him to die for them afterward.
Now think on that. What would he be like if he'd had a couple girlfriends that dumped him specifically because of his perversion, instead of trying to kill him after getting close to him? He'd associate perversion with no harem, and so he'd suppress it. Just like he associated intimacy with betrayal and pain for a while, which is why, every time he was in a perverted situation, he hesitated to go further than he was pushed.
Non-perverted Issei from the start with no back-story or reason as to why: This is no longer Issei. This is a self-insert or Original Character the writer has replaced him with. One possible reason they don't just say this outright is probably because they don't want to lose readers for doing such a thing. "Original Characters" (OCs) and "Self Inserts" (SIs) are, most of the time, indicative of bad writing because OCs and SIs end up being a Mary Sue/Gary Stu that aren't fleshed out, never seem to make a mistake, and/or are so hypocritical without realizing it that it's kind of sad. Even more so in a DxD fic where a "non!perverted!Issei" almost always gets a harem and these so-called "non!perverted!Issei's" never seem to object to such a thing, despite claiming non-perversion, being raised in a society where that stuff is considered immoral in addition to likely being illegal as well. [sarcasm] Yeah, that's so totally going to happen [/sarcasm].
To fix this make a back-story, like the above mentioned "girlfriends that dumped him because of his perversion" that I gave. It's not that hard to mention something in a story or have a flashback to things. Having a couple Original Characters inserted into his past being mentioned (or shown in a flashback, either way) is much better than having an Original Character replacing him with no explanation. Hell, it could be something that he recalls overhearing (ie, girls talking about how perverted men are and how immature or stupid or whatever it is) and that stuck with him for so long for some reason. Maybe he kept hearing it, and he eventually realized that if he wants his harem he has to be subtle? Only to later realize that he doesn't want a harem so much as a family...and then his perversion gets channeled into finding the right girl or something.
Hinata being secretly a super-aggressive tsundere: Yeah, no. You just ruined your fic of any kind of interest a real Hinata fan would have in it because she was just turned into Sakura from Naruto, or Naru from Love Hina, or Houki from Infinite Stratos, or Akane from Ranma 1/2, and so on. In other words, the writer and fans of that fic aren't really Hinata fans and it pisses me off when they claim they are. There's no real way to fix this, unfortunately, so I can't really offer advice. Beyond, of course, don't do it.
Hinata being a super dominant person when Naruto shows even slight interest: Sorry, but the fic has again been ruined. Hinata being brazen, loud, center-of-attention, and/or belligerent is something that just ruins any sense of "Hinata" a character has. There's a reason it took a world made through an illusion that altered everything to make her like that. This isn't Hinata anymore. Usually it's a mix between Unohana Retsu from Bleach, Miya Asama from Sekirei, and so on. There usually isn't even a shred of Hinata left, and it usually happens so fast that there's no character development.
The above two are just a couple reasons that NaruHina fics are so bad nowadays. The writers don't know how to write Hinata and so instead they write somebody else in her place and claim it's her. These are a couple reasons that some formerly diehard NaruHina fans have become so disgusted with the pairing that they can no longer read most fics with it. Not because it's a bad pairing, but because a huge majority of the fics claiming to be NaruHina are really just NaruSaku (or NaruOther) fics with Hinata possessing Sakura's (or another person's) personality. That isn't NaruHina, no matter what is said. A lie is a lie, and things become associated with each other. I know some people that associate NaruHina with bad writing, bad characterization, and/or bad plot because they've read so many horrible NaruHina fics. And these are people that used to love reading and writing NaruHina, but now can't stand to go anywhere near such fics.
Naruto discovering Hinata's crush around Academy graduation (before, during, or after) and instantly asking her out/thinking she's cute: This just makes me facepalm. Naruto is starved for attention, which is exactly why he wouldn't go after Hinata immediately after finding out about her crush. At the time they graduate, she is unable to give him overt attention. I repeat, unable to give him attention. She's reticent, so much so that she failed a couple of easy missions according to Kurenai, her teacher and guardian for at least a couple years while she was in the Academy. She would likely faint if she got too close to Naruto, and would definitely faint if she was in physical contact with him.
This isn't to say they would never make a good pairing, because they would likely do so, but at the time of their graduation from the Academy they would not work out at all.
Naruto practically requires attention, good or bad, when he first becomes a ninja and Hinata wouldn't really be able to give him either kind of attention. Giving her super confidence in the space of 500 words just, as I have stated above, completely ruins any sense of "Hinata" the character has. Soft-spoken but confident, or quietly affectionate, is something Hinata could be. Loud, brazen, and belligerent is something only an illusion could force her to be.
In addition, at the start of the series, Naruto thinks of her as a "dark, shy weirdo" and while he "likes that type of person" he isn't about to drop everything to date her. If they are on the same team I could see her changing a bit in the couple months or so before the Wave mission (or another C-rank mission). Enough to give her a bit of confidence to speak up, be able to stand next to Naruto without fainting (though not touching and such), and only reverting back to reticent and shy when a full room (such as at the Chunin exams) gives her their attention (and even then maybe only when her team isn't there with her). Improvements, after all, are to be expected when on a team. Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto cared about each other enough by the Wave mission that they were willing to work together, take hits for one another, and so on. Of course with the more volatile teams and personalities it's just as likely to fall apart with a catalyst or two.
Saying Sakura is a bad pairing for Naruto only to then pair him up with someone that does everything she does to him: Yeah, sorry, you aren't convincing me at all. Even if it's not "as bad" in degree, it's still the same kind of action-reaction and ends up with the same results. In fact, when this happens, I usually come away from the fic thinking the writer is a NaruSaku fan in denial. Usually the only reason they dislike Sakura is because they have a heavily distorted view of her thanks to all the fanon crap going on turns every character into a caricature of themselves, emphasizing only certain parts (usually bad) and nothing else.
Saying that (insert character, usually Naruto) should be, and dress, more like a "ninja" only to then disdain the Uchiha clan for being "thieves" in said world of ninja: This is, quite frankly, hypocrisy at it's finest. Ninja, in case anyone reading this didn't know, were not just assassins. They were thieves, spies, saboteurs (political or not), and many other things as well. To complain about how a character should be "more like a ninja" only to then, in the same exact story, complain about how a clan of said ninja are "honorless" or "worthless thieves" just makes anyone that stops to think about it facepalm.
Naruto giving up on Sakura because an outside source (usually Kyuubi and/or a potential love interest) says to: I really can't see this happening, and not because I'm a "NaruSaku" shipper. The reason is this: if he gave up so easily on one thing, he'd give up easily on other things. Naruto won't give up on Sakura for the same reason he won't give up on Sasuke, becoming Hokage, and so on. He's a stubborn idiot that won't take no for an answer. If people tell him something is impossible he clings to it and wants to accomplish it even more. Here's a list of things he's clung to because someone told him they were impossible: Becoming Hokage, dating Sakura, becoming Hokage, learning the Rasengan, saving Sasuke, becoming Hokage, breaking the Chains of Hatred, and did I mention becoming Hokage?
See his childhood where everyone told him he couldn't become Hokage because he was a loser. When Sakura herself told him she thought he was annoying, even if he was disguised as Sasuke then. You could look at the Chunin Exams where both Kiba and Neji told him he wouldn't ever accomplish his dream. Tsunade told him he couldn't possibly complete the Rasengan. Kabuto told him it was impossible for him to become Hokage because he was a talentless shinobi during the Tsunade Retrieval Arc. After that when Jiraiya told him to give up on saving Sasuke because Jiraiya himself had experience with a teammate losing themselves to darkness. These things are all things he would have given up on if it was so damn easy to get him to give up on things, and that's just in the first half of the series.
Him "mellowing out" or something is all fine -- he mellowed out during his three year training trip with Jiraiya (didn't ask Sakura out constantly, didn't yell about becoming Hokage as much as possible, etc.) -- especially if he's no longer on a team that would tell him something is impossible or that would help him mature somewhat. Giving up on something because it's said to be impossible is not something that's plausible for his character.
Rehashing canon with a stronger protagonist, but same results: Fics like this should, realistically, have different results to events than in canon. The fact that they almost never seem to have different results is extremely frustrating and confusing. Realistically speaking, only a character that is so psychologically damaged he might as well be the equal but opposite of a Gary Stu, or in a coma, would result in things staying the same. Most of the time the stronger protagonist is "weakened considerably" through the use of some "ultimate move" they used in the past.
It's even more frustrating and confusing when writer's seem determined to make it so that their stronger protagonist weaker than canon because they "used their ultimate move" at some point in the past, or because they used a move that ate at their life force, even if there's no evidence that it would eat away at their life force while they use it or later when it's not being used anymore.
As if their life force is a finite thing they only have so much of, despite the fact that all Japanese and Chinese mythologies on the subject of Ki/Chi/Qi (life force) say otherwise, and that sometimes even the darn canon of the series says otherwise.
Why do people write these fics? They're essentially just writing canon again, and I'm pretty sure that's destroying the whole point of writing fanfiction. I've never gotten a real answer to these fics, just cruddy justifications that there are "differences" to canon in their story and that their stories "will diverge wildly" at some point. Of course, they never seem to get to that point, or they stop writing the fic entirely shortly after their 10th chapter with no canon changes.
Lemons aren't allowed on fanfiction(.)net. You might want to back any stories containing them on another site, like ficwad, adult(.)ficland(.)com, adultfanfiction, and/or mediaminer(.)org, just in case. In fact, having them posted on multiple sites regardless of lemon content is probably a good idea.
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