Cruel Irony
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Joined 06-10-07, id: 1297875, Profile Updated: 01-18-10
Author has written 1 story for Pirates of the Caribbean.

"Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It''s...a helicopter. Darn, really had me going there. But hay, what else can I say about myself? Not much, just your average horse back ridding, bunny raising, North Texas State Fair and Rodeo Queen for 2007- college student. My stories are much more interesting. Maybe that's why I write them.

( /) (")_(")
Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination,
and come join the dark side.

(We have cookies!)

Some of my favorite quotes:

From Pirates of the Caribbean:

Jack Sparrow: Problems arose, ensued, and were overcome.

Jack Sparrow: Up is down? That's just maddeningly unhelpful. Why are these things never clear?

Will Turner: I said to myself, think like Jack.

Jack Sparrow: And this is what you've arrived at? It's like you don't know me at all, mate.

Jack Sparrow: I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

And of course...


"Angles and ministers of grace, defend us." - Hamlet.

Alan Frog: We blew it man, we lost it!

Edgar Frog: Shut up!

Alan Frog: We unraveled in the face of the enemy!

Edgar Frog: It's not our fault, they pulled a mind scramble on us. They opened their eyes and talked!

- The Lost Boys

A King may move a man, a father may claim a son. But remember that even when those who move you be kings or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God you cannot say "But I was told by others to do thus" or that "Virtue was not convinient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that.

- King Baldwin IV, Kingdom of Heaven

Doug Madsen: You're the sheriff, why don't you go out there?
Charley: I'm the sheriff of a town of 500 people. I got my qualification from a course on the internet. For my arms training, they just told me to play Doom!

-Wild Hogs

And now some random pointelessness- because we all need just a little insanity in our lives

A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever been so obsessed with a tv or Movie character that you scare everyone who knows you, join the club, and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you can go on a sugar buzz without even eating sugar, again, join the club and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet (or dead silent) room, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted on of these to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, or anything else that applies, copy and paste this to your profile.

98 of people do or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 who hasn't, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique,so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you believe that the government should make levees and not war, copy & paste this in your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.

I prefer solitude over company. Copy and paste this in your profile you have the same feeling.

If you eat carbs and are proud, copy and paste this into your profile

if you think you can be pretty without being self-centered, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile

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Pirate Theater by Marzi reviews
The characters have been brought together to preform classics of film and theater, generally against their will. A parody humor with a smidgen of romance overruled by a moderately evil narrator. This story will never get finished, apologies!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,044 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 8/29/2007
Underworld: The Birth of the Covenant by thecardinalsin66 reviews
We know that the Three Elders ruled the Immortal bloodlines, leapfrogging through time in a chain unbroken for fourteen centuries. But how did the Immortal bloodines come to be, this charts the history of the immortals from the start, Alexander Corvius.
Underworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 59,001 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/20/2008 - Published: 9/22/2007
The League At World's End by Olivegreeneyes reviews
This is my Pirates of the CaribbeanLXG crossover. Takes place at the end of the LXG movie and into Dead Man's Chest and possibly At World's End. The LXG are sent on another assignment in which they undue a wrong in the POTC world...
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,868 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/12/2008 - Published: 9/26/2007
London Calling by williz reviews
Modern WillElizabeth and AU. Will and Elizabeth are lovers in modern London. This documents their relationship and mixes in some good, old fashioned humor. Kick back and enjoy with some sparkling cider!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 148,652 - Reviews: 468 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 5/1/2008 - Published: 11/28/2006 - Will T., Elizabeth S.
The Keeper of the Code and His Diary by Leah Emilio-Depp reviews
Teague Sparrow's diary chronicling the birth and childhood of everyone's favorite pirate... God, I make it sound like it's so serious... um, MUSHROOM! HA! Try to take my story seriously NOW! i DARE you!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,282 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 12/23/2007 - Published: 5/25/2007 - Teague, Capt. Jack Sparrow
Prelude to Heaven by Telcontar Rulz reviews
We know the man who is the knight. We know the blacksmith who became the knight, but do we know the boy who became the blacksmith? This is Balian's story from his conception until his wife's suicide. Slight romance in later chapters. Rated T to be safe.
Kingdom of Heaven - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 46,799 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/9/2007 - Published: 7/13/2007 - Complete
The Duty of a Noblewoman by Lela-of-Bast reviews
This is the story of Willany of Masbolle, Dom's Mother. Details her marriage to an older man and her relationship with her sister, who is Neal's mother. Please r and r!
Protector of the Small Quartet - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,819 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 10/26/2007 - Published: 7/31/2007
Time Warp Trouble by The Phantom Scribbler reviews
A silly little oneshot about a young transylvanian called Enigmata, who is learning the timewarp, but keeps getting it wrong. Please R&R. Rating K because I'm not entirely sure it is K, but it could be
Rocky Horror - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 538 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/5/2007 - Complete
Forest by sivvussa reviews
Daine returns to a war ravaged Tortall from slavery in Carthak, but Jonathan refuses her citizenship. Meanwhile, the divine war with Chaos begins. Set at time of EM to ROTG. D/N. SEQUEL TO DESERT, COMPLETE, SEQUEL IS UP
Song of the Lioness - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 47,598 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 9/26/2007 - Published: 9/11/2006 - Tortall - Complete
Reversed! by SilverstartheWaterbender reviews
Mary's parents are away, and she and her friends are ready for two weeks of piratey goodness. They should be careful what they wish for, as five 18th century partycrashers find themselves in Mary's closet! Rated T, JxM, NorringtonxOc This oughta be good!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,329 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 8/29/2007 - Published: 8/20/2007
101 Ways To Go Insane From Being A In A Fanfiction by E. Linnet reviews
What do our characters do in they're spare time? They talk to each other, whine about authors and...well, just read and find out!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,486 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 8/20/2007 - Published: 10/8/2006
The Afterlives of Sarah Rees Toome by ThreeOranges reviews
Eight scenes in the life of Circe. 'For she who lives more lives than one, More deaths than one must die.' Contains spoilers for AGATB and RA.
Gemma Doyle Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,126 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Complete
Aaaah! Freaky Fish People! by SilverstartheWaterbender reviews
Sequel to A Pirate's Life for Me. Four months later, Mary returns to the POTC world. But this time, she is haunted by Jack's betrayal and death. How will she cope? And does Jack still love her? Rated T JackxOC ALL DONE!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,116 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 6/28/2007 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Complete
Three Antilles' Goat's stuff by Jade Pilot reviews
Wedge Anitlles returns from a week long vacation to discover things aren't as he left them.Wraith Squadron fic...and a goat.
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/29/2007 - Complete
Like a Simulator for Parenthood by otahyoni reviews
Wes and Hobbie babysit. It goes about as well as you'd expect. Wes Janson, Hobbie Klivian, Wedge/Iella
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,037 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/17/2007 - Derek K./Hobbie, W. Janson - Complete
25 Ways to Annoy a Hawkbrother by kalim007 reviews
Ever wonder how to truly annoy a Hawkbrother? Here are 25 ways! R&R please!
Valdemar universe - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 896 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/14/2007 - Complete
Lines You Won't Hear in Troy by Universal Queen reviews
Compiled for your amusement, the following is a list of hilarious and mostly fictional outtakes and extended scenes from the film...CONTAINS SPOILERS! Reviews welcome.
Troy - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,072 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/8/2007
Definite and Inexorable by Mara Greengrass reviews
The House of Leaf and Star was customarily a serene place...
Valdemar universe - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,237 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/16/2006 - Complete
Downtime in Las Vegas by Aggy reviews
Rogue and Wraith squadrons visit Vegas. Chaos ensues for a harried tour guide. Starring Face Loran, Ton Phanan, Wedge Antilles, Wes Janson, Hobbie Klivan, and OCs.
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 34,055 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/8/2006 - Published: 12/18/2001
God Did It by illigitimate luv child reviews
A parody about God's wishlist. which is just about as long as the line at Centrelink on a Thursday. Join Balian in his frustration as God is continually used as an excuse. Ratings could go up.
Kingdom of Heaven - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 279 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/3/2006 - Published: 11/23/2005
The Title Is Too Long by maybethedreamisdreamingus reviews
What happens when you put four of Orlando Bloom's characters in a room together, lets find out ... and a voice comes over the loudspeaker "answer all our questions or we'll release the fangirls".
X-overs - Rated: K - English - Parody/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 832 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/19/2005
The Holy One Ring in a Grail of Really Bad Eggs by Mistress Claudia reviews
This is a POTC, LOTR, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Crossover. Skit on destroying the One RING. Not recommended for Orlando Bloom fans. Please R & R.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,836 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/3/2004
Jousters of Sanctuary by R9-regrin9 reviews
Set after ‘Alta.’ Kiron has finally found a place where he can be part of each world he’s lived in. But this is short lived when Kalen and Gan bring in the news of an amassing army hiding out in the canyons across the desert.
Valdemar universe - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,511 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/28/2004
A Series of Unfortunate Events by Teague-Drydan reviews
What Happens when various Valdemar Characters have bad days...?
Valdemar universe - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,569 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 9/23/2004 - Published: 8/2/2004
After the Credits by Zoey Ramirez reviews
A one shot based directly after the movie ends. It's what the movie makers don't want you to see...
Underworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,285 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/11/2004 - Complete
Staying Alive by Jess J reviews
If you doubted Viktor's true nature, you won't after this revelation. Viktor has a dark secret, and Kraven knews someone who would benefit greatly by knowing it. Kind of screws up the last half of the movie. First humor fic. Please r& r!
Underworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,493 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/3/2003
Pirates of the Caribbean: Remixed! reviews
Your favorite scenes remixed! Mostly dribble, no slash
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,440 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/5/2010 - Published: 9/3/2007