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Author has written 34 stories for Supernatural, Quantum Leap, Wings, Smallville, X-Files, Angel, Passions, British Comedy, Die Hard, Misc. Tv Shows, Munsters, and Ocean's 11.
My name is Jamie.
My other pen name is DeanFan.
Favorite Shows: Supernatural, Titus and Leverage.
Favorite Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Favorite Actor: Cary Grant
Favorite Comedian: Christopher Titus (His comedy is about real life)
Singers that I have met: Taylor Swift, Clint Black, Jack Ingram, Sammy Kershaw, Keith Anderson, Lonestar.
Singers that I have seen in concert: Gary Allan, Jack Ingram, Sammy Kershaw, Keith Anderson, Lonestar, Taylor Swift, Mark Wills..
Autographs From: Taylor Swift, Clint Black, Jack Ingram, Sammy Kershaw, Montomgery Gentry
: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house / Not a creature was stirring, except the psycho bitch on the couch. / I looked pleadingly to my girl, her face fury red / While visions of me and the Doublemint twins danced in her head. / With bile in my throat and no help in sight, I puy on a smile and my sphincter got tight. / "This is Rudolph," I thought, and turned to argue my case, / but I must've had a "what's your problem, bitch" look, 'cause she punched me in the face. / I picked up her 300 Pradas, the left and right shoe, / and into the street, both shoes I threw. / Out the front door she went, in hot pursuit, / Yeah, this girl would chase a designer label like a fat guy after a Valor jogging suit. / In fear for my life, I locked up the place, / I turned my attention to Rudolph and wished I had mace. / When all of the sudden, there arose such a clatter... / I sprang from my couch to see what was the matter. / I grabbed the chord and opened the blinds... and there was Noelle, quite out of her mind. / My heart stopped, frozen with fear / as she tapped on the glass with a vodka bottle... filled just 'bout to here. / I knew the window couldn't much take it, / and she was screaming "Unlock it, you bastard, or I swear I'll break it!" / I couldn't let her do that, it was a rented place, / so I opened the door... and she punched me in the face! / So summoning my manhood, from bottom to top... / I screamed like a little girl, "I'm calling the cops!" / I just finished dialing and she was standing right there / wearing pearls and those pradas, but otherwise bare. / She spoke not a word, but went straight to a work / reeling me in with that "you're my big daddy" smirk. / I heard her exclaim as she turned out the light... / "You know this is your fault. I love you too much to fight."
: I was raised by Ken Titus. I can see BS through eight miles of led enforced concrete through a blizzard and... hey, where are you going?
: Dave once got so high, he actually remembered being born!
: Dad is a new person. A person who has learned that forgiveness is better then revenge. Next year, we'll teach him that heart attacks are not like women. You just can't keep having them!
: Oh, great. How much is this going to cost me?
: Dad, are you speaking or are your gonads?
Ken is about to pick up a hitchhiker
: Everyone should think for themselves. I learned that in a book I bought called 'Everyone Should Think For Themselves'.
: Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. This can escalate into a war that can kill millions. Normal people settle disputes over cookies, cakes, and pies. Normal people are fat.
: I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake he's got to clean it off. You hit a guy with a water balloon, he's got to dry off. Guy's in the hospital, you get his testicles shaved, he scratches and bleeds for a week... it's funny... you're not supposed to have a heart attack, it kills the joke.
: My dad's all I've ever had. When I was 3 and 4, my mom used to take me to bars. I understand why now - babysitters cost beer, beer and-a-half an hour.
: Jesus was laughing when I went into the light!
: My dad's third heart attack, he'd gotten so good at them, he decided to drive himself to the hospital because 'They won't let me smoke in the ambulance!' and 'You can't make a burger run.'
: You said that I was the worst possible result of an orgasm!
: Do you remember me, Mrs. Titus?
on an island resort, Ken wins in blackjack
: For 15 years, I have chosen not to drink. Because I'm not good at it. I know it. Erin knows it. The fire department that had to put me out knows it.
: Many massacres have happened when people yell "surprise"! Pearl Harbor. The Tet Offensive. My uncle's 50th birthday party.
: flashback You're not leaving with my 8 track!
: According to the Los Angeles Times, 63 of families in America are now considered dysfunctional. That means that I'm in the majority. It's the people with the mom, dad, brother, sister, white picket fence, those people are the freaks!
: There's one in every family. When the police calls in the middle of the night and says "We've got a family members of yours under arrest" and you know directly who it is. In my family we have seven of those... And they are all my Mom!
: After all, once you've driven your drunk father to your mom's parole hearing, what else is there?
: Dad, you're safe here, you're among friends, okay? I just want you to know that I give you my - my love and my forgiveness.
: Growing up, road trips with Dad were something I hated. Sitting still for hours, singing that stupid song, "100 bottles of beer on the wall. 100 bottles of beer..." Dad, you know, keeping up with the song.
: I nailed your sister!
A/N: I know it's been ages since I've updated any stories on this account. I've been mostly going by DeanFan to connect with everyone.
You may have noticed I deleted some stories. There was no way I was ever going to finish those. Life gets in the way and I don't have the time to write as I used to when I first started my two accounts. I'm going to try to update the stories that I left in progress.
We all write differently on here. That's one thing to remember. We might not agree with some ships. At the end of the day we are not the writer behind that story to have a right to complain. Respect writers along with their creativity.
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