Zen.with.Conflicts
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Joined 06-11-07, id: 1298313, Profile Updated: 03-21-12
Author has written 1 story for Hellsing.

The "About Me" part;

Likes: making up a word that sounds like a real word so people allow me to use in speech

ex: pathetictization (lots of pathos), speciesist (think racism but across species), heightist (i.e., my mother can't stop talking about how short that person is),

other things

-My mum wants to call an asylum to cure my "inane ability to converse with myself."

"Votre francais est horrible, specifiquement ta grammaire."

I have high standards for any fic (horribleness of my own included). If I don't like yours, it can't be your fault, I'm a very picky reader. I'm generally happy to accept any pairing that the public creates, as long as it's well written, a long-ish story and a crack pairing XD.

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Marrow by DeGlace reviews
Kimimaro x Sakura. Because some things you feel in your bones.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 90,479 - Reviews: 1552 - Favs: 1,581 - Follows: 1,325 - Updated: 7/16 - Published: 7/16/2006 - [Kimimaro K., Sakura H.]
Imperceptible by forthright reviews
A story told through a series of drabbles and oneshots, tracing the slow and steady progress of trust. Sesshoumaru and Kagome, CU. NEWEST: 'Plummet' An unwise wish would be a dangerous thing.
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 99 - Words: 124,866 - Reviews: 3739 - Favs: 2,369 - Follows: 2,056 - Updated: 1/14/2013 - Published: 5/1/2007 - Sesshomaru, Kagome H.
The Dragon and the Siren by CultOfStrawberry reviews
Zutara, Hades x Persephone inspired. In a land of gods and spirits, Katara is the daughter of the Sea, and Zuko is the powerful and reclusive God of the Fire Realms. Zuko has been pining for her for too long... so he finally takes action.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 143,362 - Reviews: 1136 - Favs: 1,159 - Follows: 543 - Updated: 2/16/2012 - Published: 1/21/2007 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
The Way of the Wind by just enough reviews
ANBU Captain Uchiha Itachi had things well planned out, until a medic-nin with ridiculous hair went and made herself interesting. Sakura insisted she was just doing her job, but Itachi didn't quite see it that way. Non-massacre. Sakura/Itachi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 158,542 - Reviews: 3855 - Favs: 6,326 - Follows: 2,575 - Updated: 1/20/2011 - Published: 3/17/2008 - [Itachi U., Sakura H.] Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Hot Water by CultOfStrawberry reviews
Romance, action, drama, and a kickass Agni Kai scene all here! Zuko has finally captured the Avatar and his gang for keeps and reclaimed his birthright, but he realizes that honor is much more than that. Warning: includes child abuse, death, some dubcon
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 239,626 - Reviews: 681 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 10/22/2010 - Published: 6/18/2005 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Lethe by Chavvah reviews
Voted Community's Choice at ZeldaLegends. Ganondorf's hand is forced: he must protect Link. But a sinister force is at work and Ganon cannot drive it away for long... CH. 10 UP!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 119,084 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 4/22/2010 - Published: 10/7/2005 - Ganondorf, Link
Not at Hogwarts by aspenandeleen150 reviews
Luna, Ernie, Hannah, Seamus, Nott, Fred and George have detention with Professor Trelawny but when the unsuspecting teacher leaves the room, the students band together and come up with a plan that will put them down in Hogwarts History.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 61,792 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 6/13/2006 - Theodore N., Luna L.
Group of Weirdos: Ocarina of Time by Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs reviews
We're all used to the parodies where Link's a brain dead oaf who screws everything up. But now, the bosses our protagonist defeats join his cause and assist with the reclamation of Hyrule, trying their hardest to stop the 'hero' from ruining everything.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 42 - Words: 94,972 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 12/18/2009 - Published: 7/14/2006 - Link, Navi - Complete
Twitards Invade the Enterprise by suburbantimewaster reviews
The Enterprise is invaded by fangirls who believe Data is Edward Cullen. However, Data has an opinion on the series that these fangirls would never agree with.
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,762 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/4/2009 - Data - Complete
The Fortune of Mrs Sakura by KalliopeStarmist reviews
Sakura goes to a fortuneteller, who offers to let her spend one day married to each of her potential matches. Of course, she doesn't realize that Lee and Sasuke are just the tip of the iceburg. .:Every Sakura Pairing:.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 60,953 - Reviews: 1771 - Favs: 1,632 - Follows: 1,607 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 1/13/2007 - Sakura H., Shikamaru N.
Up Plus B by Derriwynn reviews
Anyone else notice Ganondorf has a questionable Up B move? It's the Ganon-Grope! Zelda is in for it now! Zelda/Ganondorf and Peach/Bowser.
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,778 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Ganondorf, Zelda/Sheik - Complete
The Ten Commandments of Writing Zelda Fiction by Davin Sunrider reviews
Obey them, lest ye be consider'd a n00b.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 892 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 23 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Complete
Pointy Tongues Tell No Lies by dr. sluice reviews
Seras, curious about vampire kissing, asks Alucard if fangs get in the way. Alucard gives her a demonstration rather than telling. AxS
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 991 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Alucard, Seras - Complete
Several Awkward Moments by Emileesaurus reviews
In which Barbossa and Elizabeth have a slightly inebriated chat on the one-year anniversary of her coronation. Oneshot. Generally gen, Jack/Barbossa if you squint.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,862 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Elizabeth S., Hector B. - Complete
The Legend of Zelda: Cameos of Time by DragonRaiderX9 reviews
OoT. Most of the important characters and bosses have been replaced with people from other games, movies, books, etc. Can Link keep his sanity long enough to survive? Ch. 25: The Infinite Shadow.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 75,397 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 8/6/2008 - Published: 8/8/2006 - Link
The Brink of Insanity by Wolfsblood reviews
Raven has often wondered if she had always been this close to loosing her sanity. Or perhaps, it was just because of Slade. SladeRaven
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 71,602 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 7/2/2008 - Published: 1/29/2007 - Raven, Slade - Complete
Morbid Curiosity by Maahiyum reviews
Sakura has seen every medical feat, but there is one person who still confuses her because his immortality doesn’t make any sense. Sakura sets to find out his secrets and a way to protect Naruto. Disembodied heads, Awkward moments, and ...Romance? HidaSak
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 53,830 - Reviews: 335 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 6/3/2008 - Published: 1/26/2008 - Hidan, Sakura H. - Complete
The Prettiest Princess by Ninjagrrl reviews
When Akatsuki have to go undercover at a beauty contest, they will stop at nothing to win. Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,367 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 795 - Follows: 75 - Published: 3/28/2008 - Deidara, Itachi U. - Complete
The Triforce Seal by Mewtata reviews
After Link, Midna, and Zelda defeated Ganondorf and Zant, they went their seperate ways. But Ganondorf is alive, and a new evil arises. The only way to defeat it is to use all three triforce.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 36,908 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/4/2008 - Published: 9/25/2007 - Ganondorf, Zelda - Complete
Superstition by Outsane reviews
Zuko and Toph have joined Aang, and the group is finally complete. Now on their way to Ba Sing Se, can the Gaang avoid capture with both the Fire Nation and the Bei Fongs chasing them? \:\Zutara/:/
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 63,136 - Reviews: 1846 - Favs: 476 - Follows: 411 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 6/22/2005 - Zuko, Katara
Water Under the Bridge by jayanx reviews
The trip home was supposed to the easy part, but what happens when complications arise and change everything?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,842 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 1/15/2008 - Published: 11/27/2007 - Sakura H., Suigetsu H.
Skin & Bones by kc-archive reviews
Tobi, Sakura, Madara. A handful of rumors. A sheet of acid rain. The silent collapse of a century and a half. And so the monster came.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,115 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 551 - Follows: 66 - Published: 11/27/2007 - Obito U., Sakura H. - Complete
The Mating Frenzy by MSkyDragons reviews
After the attacks by Orochimaru and the Sand, Konoha’s population is dangerously low. Desperate times call for extreme measures, and Tsunade issues a priority S class mission to every Leaf ninja: to pair off and start making babies!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 33 - Words: 70,171 - Reviews: 7140 - Favs: 5,650 - Follows: 2,347 - Updated: 11/22/2007 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Naruto U. - Complete
Sand Walls by Cella N reviews
He spent half his life building walls around himself. But walls made of sand are easily destroyed by the first person with a strong enough punch. SAKURA. GAARA. On friendship, the beginning of something, and icecream.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,376 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 29 - Published: 9/25/2007 - Gaara, Sakura H. - Complete
Home by ShinyGreenApple reviews
With most of her loved ones having crossed to the next world, Elizabeth is left with but one person to pass the lonely years. Massive spoilers for AWE.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,803 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 9/12/2007 - Published: 6/4/2007 - Elizabeth S., Hector B. - Complete
like a heart that stumbles onto knowledge by arabesque05 reviews
Facts of Life: Girls crushed on boys, girls were rejected by boys, girls developed fantastic vengeance issues and sometimes became sufficiently embittered to join a nunnery. Of course, Facts never really apply to Life. Or Haruno Sakura. [SasuSaku]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,451 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 814 - Follows: 63 - Published: 8/25/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Exciting Tale of Emily and Voldermort by Sorceress Morgan le Fay reviews
Based on a very interestingstrange! dream I had last night. Emily is based on me, but of course I used a fake name. Yes, it's pretty much meant to be horrible but I posted in for my friends. Rated T for some minor swear words.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 603 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/27/2007 - Voldemort - Complete
Ubiquitous by kc-archive reviews
Zabuza & Sakura. Ten years later, and she doesn't even remember his name. He was her past. He was her nothing. And now he is her responsibility.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,632 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 19 - Published: 7/12/2007 - Zabuza M., Sakura H. - Complete
The Pirate and the Hero by Wordsworth 13 reviews
Link and Tetra are travelling the high seas, in search of the new Hyrule, but a lot of things will cross their paths before a promised land does. And the return of someone they never wanted to see again. LinkXTetra
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,985 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 7/7/2007 - Published: 3/5/2006 - Link, Tetra
I Love Your Every Colour by Cheshire-Poison reviews
[Luna's pov, chapter 6 after a LONGGGGG hiatus, lunaxremus] Luna's life chronicled through love affairs, letters, and Remus.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,011 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/19/2007 - Published: 8/20/2005 - Luna L., Remus L.
Oh Crap by Ramenism reviews
Sakura is pregnant, Itachi has no idea what this has to do with him, Tobi is a good boy, and Naruto is being a retard. Like always. SakuraxSuigetsu
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,008 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/31/2007 - Sakura H., Suigetsu H. - Complete
Role Reversal by Muffytaj reviews
When Inner Sakura and Itachi clash in Tsukuyomi the results are... interesting. After all, Inner Sakura is the ultimate seme.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 298 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 322 - Follows: 45 - Published: 4/14/2007 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Troubling New Developments by SicTransitGloria reviews
Kakashi takes a moment to wrap his mind around equating Ino’s chest with enemy shinobi while Asuma begins beating his head against the table and groaning about how he didn’t sign up for this. Rated for language and the general horror that is puberty
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,149 - Reviews: 582 - Favs: 3,541 - Follows: 460 - Published: 4/8/2007 - Kakashi H., Asuma S. - Complete
To Prove His Spudly Worth by The Illustrious Crackpot reviews
CROSSOVER CHAOS! Control Freak desperately needs to take over Titans Tower before the end of the day or else he will suffer terrible consequences from a secret society. To help him, he selects two VERY UNLIKELY assistants...
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,385 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Published: 12/21/2006 - Control Freak - Complete
Polished Tea Cups by Luna Obsessed reviews
Severus Snape thought he was in for another boring year of idiotic first years the art of Potions. Then he met the eccentric Luna Lovegood, and everything turned upside down....
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,584 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/20/2006 - Luna L., Severus S. - Complete
The Malfoy Crown Affair by Adie Ornament reviews
Draco sets forth onto his quest to find a wench...er, wife before his father dies. Shall he succeed? Probably not.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,535 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/12/2005 - Published: 12/9/2005 - Draco M., Luna L.
Second Best by Hades'Queen reviews
Please Read! FINALLY UPDATED! So Luna likes Harry and begins to think that she is only second best compared to Hermione. It's worh reading. This story is nearly complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 57,889 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/29/2005 - Published: 3/26/2004 - Luna L., Severus S. - Complete
Rosemary And Thyme by MaySoFarAway reviews
In the aftermath of various deaths beginning in the spring of 1997, an unexpected relationship developes over shared loss, latenight cocoa and Simon & Garfunkel. Complete, Luna and Remus.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,234 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/27/2005 - Published: 5/24/2005 - Luna L., Remus L. - Complete
We're In Hyrule, stupid! by nagami cabasa reviews
Five friends go through a portal to Hyrule! A touching story of rabid dogs, teletubbies, Ruto and Sheik abuse, and Link being smacked around by boulders. Humor, drama, romance, action, adventure... even poetry! [like one] What else could you ask for? R&R!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 136,984 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/11/2003 - Published: 3/15/2002 - Complete
Beautiful Eyes reviews
My first fic. My OC meets the descedant of someone familiar to us. Oneshot may add more chapters if I see fit and if people actually like my story.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,101 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Complete