Author has written 41 stories for Harry Potter, Quantum Leap, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, DC Superheroes, Young Justice, Ironman, Bewitched, Freakazoid, Munsters, and Monty Python.
According to my stats, an amazing number of people have been looking at this, so maybe I ought to put something profound here:
- But then I realized that I don't really have that much to say that's all that profound...
Robst is back (I mention this so that everyone who feels the need to let me know he's returned to write a new story can quit telling me about it) but the gist of my last post is still valid.
Harry Potter Fan Fiction is still winding down. Support the writers whose work you enjoy, you may not have them for long.
This time, I think I'll talk about reviewers and reviews. As you might know I frequent the The Blot's Caer Azkaban and my own Deluded Muse Yahoo groups. Among the discussions we have on those groups are ongoing threads on some of the less than comprehensible reviews we get.
A personal headscratcher I got recently came from Inspected by #13. A reviewer accused me of writing stealth Slash because my OC love interest, Edwina (or Eddie). It seems that the Story was stealth slash because Eddie is a man's name.
Seriously. What the hell? There has been female variants of English male names since the language emerged, and 'Edwina' is one of the oldest.
I purposefully used a listing of Edwardian English names to find Edwina, mostly because naming conventions in Rowling's Magical world seem to come from that era. I called her a girl before I named her in the story. Her reactions to situations (the few there were involving her) all seemed to be female to me, perhaps stereo typically so.
How could this character and her interactions with Harry possibly be stealth slash?
Other writers get weird reviews. Anonymous reviewers asking questions... how does that make any sense? Reviews that ask (demand?) the story be changed to introduce a specific character (perhaps a minor character from the 'other' canon in a crossover, or a specific request for a specific ship be used. that plot points be used, that certain characters be killed as messily as possible.
It goes on and on. Please, don't do those things. They are annoying as hell.
Tell us what you like or don't like about the story. That's good. Tell us when you think we get canon characters wrong, but always keep in mind, we aren't writing the canon stories. "Good Story" Reviews inflate our review counts, but don't tell us anything... (and seriously, when you review every chapter of every story you read with the exact same phrase "You're good at this" for example, you're wasting both of our time.)
You have favorite or hated characters. That's great, so do I. However, take a deep breath when you remark on how a character is used in a story that is, I remind you, NOT CANON. I have, on occasion been accused of being a Snape lover and a Snape hater by different reviewers for exactly the same paragraph. Think for a moment before making those accusations, there might be a reason I need Snape to do what he's doing in the story... Then again, they may not. I really don't like the character and torturing/killing him is loads of fun.
So, again, support your favorite writers, you won't have them forever.
Status of my current works:
Harry Potter and the Invincible Technomage: Chapter 21: About 9k words, aiming at 12k.
Harry Potter and the Distaff Side: Chapter 17: 4k words aiming at about 8K
A scene from a story I playing with when I can't get the words to flow on my current focus; Working title: Harry & Ron
“And what are you two up to?”
Harry Potter looked up from the drawings he and Ron Weasley were marking up. “Ron and I are just trying to figure out what we should do this weekend, Hermione.”
“It’s just a wild suggestion on my part,” the bushy haired genius said sarcastically, “but you could spend your weekend working on your assignments due next week.”
“Now, that’s just crazy talk,” Ron opined.
“OH!” Hermione huffed. “Just don’t come running to me when you both fail.”
“You know, sometimes I think she’s wound just a bit too tight.” Harry noted watching his female best friend stomp from the Great Hall.
“Hi Harry,” Sue Bones said as she approached the Gryffindor table with several of the Hufflepuff girls in tow. “What’cha doin’?”
“Oh, hi Sue,” Harry replied. “Ron and I were trying to figure out what we were going to do this weekend.”
“You could always help us,” the redhead said with a coy smile. “We Hufflepuff Girls are going to spend our weekend spreading goodwill throughout the castle by doing Random Acts of Kindness.”
Harry got a calculating look. “Random Acts of Kindness, eh?”
“Doing something that was truly random,” Ron noted, “would take quite a bit of planning and preparation.”
“You know Ron; I know what we’re going to do this weekend!” Harry said with manic enthusiasm.
“That’s great Harry! Say,” Susan asked suddenly concerned, “where’s Hedwig?”
In a secret underground lair, Agent O carefully adjusted her fedora and activated the Comm panel. Instantly the wall-sized video monitor lit up showing a white haired man with an equally white mustache.
“Ah, Agent O, good of you to make it. Lucius Malfoy has been buying up all the hair care products in the UK. We’re not sure what to make of this, but we’re sure he’s up to no good. Your mission is to find out what he’s up to, and stop him.”
Agent O nodded and extended her wings before a somewhat nasally voice spoke from off screen.
“Oh, yes,” Major Monogram sighed. “Before you head out to stop Lucius Malfoy’s nefarious scheme, you have another mission today, Agent O. Today is an official Mentoring day here at O.W.C.A., so you’ll need to spend some time with your intern.”
Agent O’s shoulders slumped, and she even seemed to molt a bit.
“Oh come now Agent O, I know that spending time with an intern is a horrible thing to contemplate, but it isn’t really all that bad,” the man said in a conciliatory tone. “I mean, after all, I have to do it every day.”
“Hey!” the nasally voice protested.
“Calm down, Carl, you know it’s true.”
The Organization Without a Cool Acronym staff cafeteria was filled with fedora-wearing agents and their hyperactive interns as each agent suffered through his or her required hour of mentoring.
Agent O cast a gimlet eye over her feathery git of an intern, as said feathery git, wearing the traditional propeller beanie of an O.W.C.A. field agent intern, fluttered about the room like a constipated wiener dog. Reaching for her lunch with her left leg, Hedwig shook her head. When she had been starting out with the organization, the OWCA had much tougher standards.
With an apologetic glance toward Agent M at the next table, she took a beak full of field mouse and tried to leave as few entrails as possible hanging from her beak. She knew that her day could not possibly get any worse, and then it did.
Sliding onto the seat across from her was her main rival here at OWCA, Agent P. It galled her that despite the fact that this… bottom feeding monotreme, while not actually being a predator, had somehow managed to maintain a top-flight reputation at the Organization.
Of course, when one only has to face off against a joke like Heinz Doofenshmirtz, how hard was it to build a reputation? She wondered idly how long this semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal would last against an opponent with magic.
The platypus maintained eye contact with Agent O for several seconds before issuing for a sort of clattering growl. Agent O bobbed her head a single time and responded.
The platypus nodded, then looked down and sighed. Agent P disappeared for a moment and returned helping an extremely small juvenile echidna wearing an intern’s propeller beanie up to the table.
Agent O heroically kept her mirth to herself. Her intern may very well be a feathered idiot, but at least he could climb into a chair if need be. With a flash of her beak, Agent O finished off her field mouse, just in time for her intern to lose control of his flight, and crash in a most undignified, un-Owl like manner, headfirst into Agent P’s coffee cup.
Agent O rolled her eyes. Could the O.W.C.A.’s standards fall any lower?
Evidently, they could, as Agent P’s intern demonstrated by somehow managed to tip the cup full of wet Owl-Git over ending up trapped beneath the heavy porcelain mug with the squirming owlet.
With a long-suffering sigh, Agent P lifted the coffee cup, freeing both the writhing, peeping interns from their self-imposed prison.
Agent O retrieved her intern and began cleaning the coffee from the hyperactive owlet in a manner that would, to those not familiar with owl interactions, suggest a savage beating.
To those familiar with owl interactions, there was no suggestion at all. It in fact, was a savage beating.
The only thing that saved Pig the Intern from massive injuries was the intercom issuing a loud 'Bing' followed by a rather nasally voice announcing: "Attention all Agents. Mentoring time is over; proceed with your primary daily missions. Good Thwarting, Agents!"
Agent O released her intern in time to spot Agent P offering her a nod, before vanishing into the churning crowd. Agent O launched herself into the air. There was no way she was going to allow that bottom-feeder to surpass her as an agent.
yeah, a Phineas and Ferb fusion. Harry and Ron in the P&H roles, Hermione in the Candice Role, Minerva stands in for 'Mom', Sue and the Hufflepuff girls for Isabella and her troop, Draco for Beauford, Neville as Rajeesh, and of course Hedwig as Agent O with Lucius as the 'Villain'.
- For anyone who cares, I've also got an original piece or two over at fictionpress.com...
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