Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter, Misc. Plays/Musicals, and Lord of the Rings.~Name: Rubi Maia Granger Wexler, formerly Rubi Granger a.k.a. Llama Bob.
~Also Known As: Alice Poinsettia Yakkawallapaloozameister, Laicuiel, and many many other names I never use anyway.
~Sex: You sicko.
~Gender?: That's better. And I'm a girl, thank you very much.
~Location: The USA.
~Hair: Dark brown and poofy, though I'm not too sure why you need to know that...
~Likes: Acting, singing, reading, writing junk, making people laugh, the EAE (see below), Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, llamas (though not so much anymore), 'Chicago', Cirque du Soleil, Harry Potter, Battle Royale (novel), and all my friends.
~Dislikes: Narrow-minded people, conceited people, and mean people. And a lot of other things, like the sound of my school's tardy bell when you're late for class and just happen to be walking right under the bell when it goes off and it nearly deafens you, y'know that feeling? ...Uh, yeah. That.
GENERAL NOTES: E.A.E. (Acronym pronounced ee-ay) stands for the Elven Assistance Entourage. They are a specialized team of elves that follow geeky teens like me around when they're going through tough times in their life. Recently, because my parents have divorced and I've moved several states to the north of my friends and hometown of ten years, my EAE has been very helpful.
~Elrohir & Elladan: Twins, the sons of Elrond Halfelven himself. Have been known to paint Telperion's fingernails black while he's sleeping. This always causes mayhem when he awakes. They are usually found sitting on the floor, playing some sort of Elvish game with dice, plotting new schemes to humiliate Telperion, or preparing to strangle each other with sibling rivalry. They occasionally offer reassurance-- things get bad, and things get worse. But at this point, your chances are they're about to get better.
~Telperion: The 'not very lucky but it's no problem' one. Also perpetually sleepy. Always falls asleep during Rubi's classes at school, usually in a desk with his trusty blanket over his head. Occasionally, he wakes up to find his fingernails painted black to match his hair. Yes, he's had black hair for a while. Haldir dyed it that way a year or two ago, and Tel just liked the look. The fingernails are another story though. Is still trying to find a 'cure' for them. (He doesn't know that nail polish remover exists yet, so don't tell him!) Always wears black, and likes to shop at Hot Topic. No one knows why, because he's really a nice and happy guy. We call him the 'Wannabe Goth Elf.'
~Ancalime: The sensible one. Is often found with her nose in a book of poetry or the like. She also has a certain passion for cooking, and gets very upset when people ruin or just don't want to even try to eat what she's made (which, in the case of the other EAEs, is every other week. Ancalime, you see, isn't very good at cooking despite her love of it). As the sole female member of this particular EAE, she is the one to settle arguments and just make sure everyone gets along. Is always there to help with advice on friends, crushes, and getting along with the parental units, even when report cards are due.
~ Haldir: Totally fun loving, dude! I know what you're thinking-- he died, right? Nope, actually that was his stunt double. After that whole incident at Helm's Deep, everyone-- Mary-Sues, orc assassins, Lucius Malfoy-- has been after Haldir. No one is really sure why, but that's the reason behind his seemingly innumerable stunt doubles. He only appears once in a while, but when he does, it's to convince Rubi and the regular EAE to try something new and fun-looking. This happened in a particularly memorable way during a trip to a theme park last summer (Telperion, most of all, will never forget it.) He's the one who talked Elrohir and Elladan to begin the Great Nail-Painting of Telperion.
((No, I am not schizophrenic. This is, of course, just for fun. If you don't have a sense of humor, leave now. If you do, hats off to thee, and may the Mexican Whooping Llamas bless you with their magical Parasols of Lacy Frilly Poofiness.))
Squeaky voice, close to tears* "You're not a real cardinal! You're just a person! *Sniffle* You were my hero... But you LIED to me! You lied... lied..." -- My friend Louise always wanted to say that to the cardinal mascot of our high school. I'm not sure if she ever did...
(Re: A Mary-Sue [it's an MST])
"Ah- We are Australian now."
"I guess we're Frenchrusstralian now."
Words I Have Invented/Made Up New Definitions Of:
Damnastic: (dam-NAS-tick) (adj.) Spiffy; wonderful. ["That cow is damnastic!"]
Damnastically: (dam-NAS-tick-lee) (adv.) Extremely; unbelievably. ["Frodo is so damnastically cute."]
Moofy: [MOO-fee] The name of a snack cake company in Latin America (I found this out going to Costa Rica last summer), now I use it as a nickname for anything, mostly for Morpheus of the 'Matrix' series.
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