Poll: Which character(s) from Naboo Rose is/are your favorite(s)? Vote Now!
Author has written 25 stories for Star Wars, Doctor Who, and Harry Potter.
Salut, tout le monde! Hey, everybody! My name's Girlbender, for Katara, Azula, and Toph; awesome girls who can kick anybody's butt with their bending! I am a major Star Wars, Harry Potter, White Collar, Lord of the Rings, Rurouni Kenshin, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and Avatar: The Last Airbender fan.
I'm the kind of person who's all for adventure and humor, so most of my stories are like that. I won't read anything that has to do with explicit sex, homosexual couples, etc, etc, etc. The only kind of couple I don't mind is a guy and a girl WITHOUT incest (seriously, people? Seriously? Is our culture that sick?).
For those of you who want to know... I do NOT like the idea of Anakin having Ahsoka as a Padawan. AT ALL. I've actually adjusted to Ahsoka as a character (it took quite a while, but I did it!), but she definitely needs a different Master. I mean, seriously, she's going to turn into mini-Ani with the lessons he's teaching her, and for her to actually learn anything useful the show has to make Anakin out of character! Again, I've finally adjusted to her interacting with Anakin, but him actually teaching her, and his advice serving as an example to the kid audience? Did everybody forget that this guy is steadily slipping to the Dark Side as the war progresses? What the heck were the writers thinking? (Ugh, I have so many complaints about that show... it wasn't awful, but good grief, when they went wrong, they went wrong.) Also, it breaks up the Ani/Obi team!! Horrors!!!! O_o
Well, that's about it for me. I hope you all enjoy my stories, and don't be afraid to give me tips! I need them! Also, please review them. I always enjoy the feedback! It helps me to know what people think works and what people like.
(7/23/15) In-lab dissections for my summer lab start next week! :D Yes, yes, I have issues, I know. I'm such a nerd, you wouldn't believe it. I often fantasize cultures, the anatomy and physiology of SW Humans (they're not actually human, anyway!), the chemistry of SW atmospheres, etc. If I could write a story that basically served as geeky scientific hypotheses and ideas of what the SW universe is like I would have so much fun. So yeah, I have no life. XD
Reborn from the Ashes: The next chapter is being a real pain. Family interactions are tough to write! Hopefully I'll get to this soon, but I wouldn't keep my fingers crossed. Still, I won't abandon it for too long.
Naboo Rose: UPDATED. Varykino has arrived, but the fun is only starting. :) Next update might be a while since I've done nothing with it, but at the rate I'm writing I've got high hopes it'll be up soon.
Kings and Men: Coming soon(ish)! This is a sequel to Little One, so all you Little One fans get pumped! :D
Plot bunnies/upcoming works:
Well, I've only got about five billion of these, lol... I'll just tell you about the ones that have an actual plot to them in my head.
Shackles of the Soul - Star Wars AU from AotC - When Anakin decided to return to Tatooine in AotC, things happened a bit differently when he refused to take Padme with him and ended up in a bit of trouble upon arriving. Main characters: Ani, OC, Obi, Siri Tachi. Genres: Angst, drama, hurt/comfort, family. Pairings: Ani/OC, Ani/Padme, Obi/Siri. Rating: T - very dark themes, strong adult themes (nothing explicit).
Death Squadron - Star Wars AU - Death Squadron is the most formidable, largest, and oldest fleet in the Empire. Its highlight is its mysterious admiral; no one outside of the fleet has seen him and survived. Now, as the Tantive IV is attacked by the squadron's flagship over Tatooine, Princess Leia braces herself to face and hopefully survive an encounter with this man, this mystery... named Admiral Vader. Main characters: Vader, Imperial OCs, Tarkin, Mara Jade, Leia, Luke, Han, Chewie, Obi. Genres: Adventure, drama. Pairings: None, mostly. Rating: T - violence, mainly... some mild adult themes.
Heir to the Throne - Star Wars AU from RotS - The duel on Mustafar was interrupted by Palpatine's arrival, leaving Vader unscathed and forcing Obi-Wan to flee. A year later, a fully powerful Darth Vader grows tired of Palpatine and murders him, thinking that he will then inherit the throne. However, there is one stipulation that Palpatine had made to deter Vader: there is an age minimum to the throne, and so it goes to Vader's next of kin. But who is Vader's next of kin? Main characters: Vader, Rex (yes, there are some characters from the Clone Wars show who I don't mind!), OC, others you know but I won't reveal the surprise. Genres: Drama, family. Pairings: None. Rating: T - dark themes, political intrigue, violence, murder, etc.
The Secrets of Jiaan and Jedi - Star Wars AU from RotS - Shortly after Order 66, Obi-Wan is attempting to help rebuild the Jedi Order when he is sent to a small Outer Rim planet called Jiaan to rest and recover. However, his methods of healing are far more unconventional than anyone expected, and Obi-Wan realizes that the events of Order 66 as he understood it were not what actually came to pass. Main characters: Obi-Wan, OCs, some big name Jedi, brief appearances/mention of Yoda, Bant Eerin. Genres: Adventure/Hurt/Comfort. Pairings: Ani/Padme. Rating: T - dark themes.
The Splintered Crystal of Phoenix Mountain - Harry Potter AU from CoS - Harry, Ron, and Hermione find that the Chamber of Secrets is the least of their concerns when they go to bed and wake up in a completely different location... and how can a crystal get them home? Main characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione. Genres: Adventure. Pairings: None - they're 12 for heaven's sake! Rating: K - just a plain old adventure. NOTE: This is the first story in a series.
Kiss - Harry Potter slight AU - Harry wakes up in a strange house with no recollection of who he is or what he's doing... and he's not alone. Main characters: Harry, some OCs, and a Death Eater we all know. Genres: Mystery, adventure. Pairings: None. Rating: T - dark themes.
Viva la Vida - Harry Potter AU - On that fateful night when Voldemort killed Lily and James Potter, he gazed down at their baby as he pointed his wand to kill the child... and then made a different decision. And that one decision completely rewrites the fate of the entire wizarding world. Main characters: Harry, Ron, Ginny, Snape, OC. Genres: Drama, tragedy, crime, hurt/comfort, adventure. Pairings: Ron/Hermione. Rating: T - very dark themes.
Dreamer - Doctor Who - Martha Jones has seen plenty of crazy things, but then her entire sense of reality is thrown off when she awakens one morning to find her life completely different from what it had been yesterday, and the Doctor seems completely oblivious to her plight. Main characters: Martha Jones, 10 Doctor. Genres: Mystery, adventure, romance. Pairings: Martha/10. Rating: T - moderate adult themes.
The Gift of Humanity - Doctor Who AU - When Rose was sent to a parallel world during "Doomsday," Rose didn't quite end up where she had expected. After spending ten years there, though, she thinks she's finally adjusted when suddenly she starts seeing the Doctor out of the corner of her eye. Main characters: Rose mostly, OCs, 10 Doctor. Genres: Adventure. Pairings: Rose/10, Rose/OC. Rating: K.
Shadow Man - Doctor Who slight AU - A man has haunted many of the Doctor's companions through their younger years on Earth, including Amy and Rory. When the Doctor gives Amy and Rory a respite from traveling just after "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship," the man reappears, and it's up to the Ponds to figure out who he is and what he wants. Main characters: 11 Doctor, Amy, Rory, OC. Genres: Adventure, mystery. Pairing: Amy/Rory. Rating: T - language mostly.
The Big Bang - Doctor Who AU - Remembering people and things in a rebooting universe is very tricky and hard work, harder than Amy Pond realizes... when Amy's mind can't quite take hte pressure, the universe reboots in ways not expected by the Doctor. Main characters: 11 Doctor, Amy, Rory, OCs. Genres: Adventure, friendship, drama. Pairing: Amy/Rory. Rating: T - mild adult themes, dark themes.
My pet peeves:
1. Character bashing. If you don't like a character, that's your opinion, and as much as everyone has a right to express their opinion, it should be in a well-mannered, polite, and calm way, not bashing someone you hate. The whole idea is pretty ridiculous if you think about it considering that the character is a two-dimensional piece of fiction.
2. Heterosexual people turned homosexual. Look, I don't agree with active homosexuality, and while I have a great respect for the people with those inclinations since they're human beings like everybody else and deserve to be treated with love, respect, and dignity, I still really hate it when people take characters who are quite clearly shown as heterosexual and put them in a homosexual relationship. So yeah, don't expect any slash or yaoi or whatever from me.
3. Flamers. If you think that someone could write a story better, than give them a review that has constructive criticism. For those of you who don't know, constructive criticism is when you state what you think is doing well and then you state what you think could use some improvement. All of this is done in a helpful and optimistic light. People post stuff on fanfiction.net to improve themselves, not to get beaten down by people who have neither patience nor intellect.
4. Rabid Fans. I don't mind when people are really into a show, movie, book, etc. but it gets really annoying when something happens in a show or movie and then the fans go "That's not supposed to happen! They did it wrong!" HELLO-O, YOU'RE not the creator, THEY ARE. I mean, believe me, I get it; what Lucas did with The Clone Wars show really makes my blood boil sometimes, but you know what? It's HIS story. We just get to play in his or whoever's world. They can do whatever they want to do with it! Honestly, the ranting itself wouldn't bother me so much if it were logical, but what I have no tolerance for is when people actually go so far as to insult and threaten the writers. Come on, people. It's bloody fiction; it is not worth somebody's well being or self esteem. If you have a problem, create an AU to fix it, complain with friends, whatever, but don't get hateful with the creators!
Critical Eye: Speaking of constructive criticism, I'm going to critique/analyze my own stories! Why? Because it's fun saying how I really feel about my fics, lol, so there. :P OH, and there will probably be spoilers if you haven't read these yet.
Imperial Child - ...Meh. I think the main reason this story is so popular is just because it's so bloody "fanfic-y" for lack of a better word. Vader is witty and charming and mysterious and awesome, meets his daughter--oh boy!--and stuff happens. Throw in some humane Imperials and you've got a recipe for a fanfic-y fanfic. Not that I don't like this story - I'm rather fond of it. But good grief--what was I thinking when I did that whole Vader-isn't-actually-Vader-but-somehow-still-is-Vader plot?! I'll tell you what: I wasn't thinking. I literally got this idea that somehow Vader tricked everyone because they all thought the suited guy was Vader and it really wasn't, so I built my entire story based off of that. Again, I'm still fond of this story; I particularly like the Jir family. I just like inventing Imperials in general, if you haven't guessed that. Anakin's ok in this story - not whiney at least, haha. And he does have a pretty compelling reason to stay loyal to his Imperials.
Children of Rebellion - This one was hard for me to write because I just couldn't come up with the interactions between Vader and the Rebels. Also, I had already hinted at the Death Star in the previous story when I mentioned all the stuff happening on Rhen Var, so I just really wanted to get straight to the action. Hence why things were really slow at first and then suddenly got interesting when the Death Star finally came into the picture. Admittedly the main reason I introduced Shmi into the equation was to show just how different this Obi-Wan was from canon Obi-Wan because he'd be desperate/obsessive to get his mother back. Still, I'm not very happy with how the first half of the story turned out, but whatever.
The Skywalker Legacy - Ah, this story makes me laugh. And cringe. I started writing this sucker when I was 12 or 13, so naturally I had to totally revise it after a while; it used to be a lot longer and dumber, lol. It's at least decent-ish now. I had fun finishing it up, though.
The Unbalanced Force - Another story that makes me cringe! Especially the beginning. Good grief. I was such a stereotypical fanficer back then: bring everybody back to life inexplicably and somehow make it all work out for the better and make everybody interact and oh my gosh this is awesome oh my gosh!! LOL. Oh, well; I suppose it at least ended relatively well, though I always get this feeling that I make the drama almost operatic or soap opera-ish... is that suspicion correct?
Little One - I am so happy with this story, but I also really want to revise it a bit. So many little details that don't add up and continuity issues, which drives me insane, haha. Also, trying to make Anakin vulnerable in his Little One way without making him pathetic or annoying is ridiculously hard, and I'm not quite sure I pulled it off that well...
Kita - This story just tickles my fancy; I freaking love dogs, so the idea of having a Jedi dog is just awesome. Completely unrealistic, but awesome. Hence why I constantly advise that this story is pure fluff; just an indulgence for the dog lover in me. Either way, the beginning chapters are really forced in humor, I think, though I guess it could still garner a chuckle. The later chapters are ok; I always have trouble with humor, though. :(
The Gift of Love - Ugh. Cheesy. So. Bloody. Cheesy. But we all love a little sappy cheesiness in our life, I guess. But when the twins start exchanging dialogue at the end... *cringes* One of these days I'm going to write something sweet and sappy without it being painful.
Souls of the Departed - I think this one turned out pretty well; a little rushed, maybe, but pretty well overall. Not too much angst, hopefully not too out of character for Luke; I haven't written him that much, so I don't have a very good feel for him. And yes, I still totally stand by the fact that I am a sucker for happy endings, dang it!
Calanua Natalita Donya - Ok, I have a confession to make - I got this idea from "Ready or Not" by duvessa ravenstone, which was a similar one-shot where Obi-Wan is hiding from Vader on Mustafar during their duel and while doing so he recalls when Anakin would play hide-and-seek when he was younger. It just struck me and I felt compelled to do something similar to it. So no, this wasn't necessarily original at all, but considering I wrote it when I was somewhere between 11 and 13 years old I'd say it wasn't that bad.
Of Junkyards and Blasters - Again, I was a pre-teen/young teen when I wrote this, and good grief does it show here. So sappy. Friendship is magic, much? LOL. I suppose it isn't too awful; I'm just more jaded now than when I wrote it, haha. Hopefully it still brings a smile to people's faces. I just don't think it's particularly well written.
Christmas with Death Squadron - If I stumbled upon this story I wouldn't read it, haha, but that's just because I'm not a huge fan of reading slice-of-life stuff unless it's really good and involves main characters. Still, since I invented these Imperials I had to indulge myself. Not that it matters to readers, LOL, but by heaven I had to write a story about these guys they're way too much fun to write about! Also, I wanted to show them in their regular Imperial setting before everything falls apart in Little One. I also liked dropping hints of the story to come in there, so I thought that was fun. My biggest concern, however, was just making sure that a reader who hasn't looked at Little One doesn't get lost in all the OCs; if there's one thing I learned from Little One it was that I really shouldn't introduce a bajillion OCs at once. -_-
When Wedding Bells Ring - I'm so embarrassed by this story, mainly because most of it comes straight from the novelization of AotC. I mean, seriously, everything in italics is straight from the book and that's literally most of the vignette. That's just lazy writing. -_- But people liked it, so I keep it up. Also I can use it as a reference for how to write proper Padme/Anakin interactions, haha.
Down, Down, Down You Go - I'm actually really happy with how this turned out, though there are times where I think I make Vader a little too out of character, but gosh darn it, my inner fangirl just had to see him hugging Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan hugging him and him reuniting with Luke and UGH. Darn hormones. -_- And I still haven't edited it to get rid of typos and errors.
Two Can Play at that Game - Ah, this story was just so much fun. I literally imagined the entire thing happening as an Imperial telling Vader what he'd done while he was drunk and Vader just flipping out, so I had to write it down. I'm actually pretty happy with this, though I think some of the word choice was poor; I was freaking obsessed with the word anticlimactic, I swear.
Jedi Party - I had surprisingly more fun writing this than I thought I would. It just kind of spilled out. Though I personally think the humor is forced, it was an interesting experience to write a story from the 2nd person perspective.
Music - I love this story - because I love music! I am a musician, after all... not much else to say about it.
Weather Report - I don't even know where the inspiration for this came from, but it was a ton of fun to write and I still love reading it. (Does that sound arrogant? Probably...) It's so much fun sneaking my AU and OC characters into a canon setting. And watching Morlev and Reivilo get at it is just too tempting to ignore.
Rebels Roasting on an Open Fire - Ok, admittedly, I actually enjoy this one a little more than Weather Report because writing about Han's flirtatious behavior is just insanely fun. Also getting Luke drunk. And Luke having to deal with a vixen. All in all a recipe for disaster and hilarity. Again, I guess some of the humor is forced, but I always wanted to stick the Christmas Song into a Star Wars context and this story allowed me to do so. My main goal here was to have humor through description and witticisms instead of big action like the bar fight in the previous story.
The Weight of the Galaxy - I'm surprised at how well I managed to describe depression here, but it kind of sucks me back into a sour mood when I read it. Still, people said they could relate, so I keep it up with the small hope that it will make somebody going through that know that they're not alone, and maybe that will somehow help. (Also, since I am a sucker for happy endings I want to keep adding to it and saying that Obi finds him, but gosh darn it Obi doesn't find him which is why episode 3 makes everything go to hell in a handbasket! Gosh darn it I just want to fix it!! >_
Here is a drawing of Capt. Mentzer and "Luke" from Little One by DarkSora2.1. Thanks, DarkSora! I never even thought anyone would do fan art for one of my fics, lol.
"A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it."
"Fallacies do not cease to become fallacies because they become fashions."
"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered."
"What embitters the world is not excess of criticism, but an absence of self-criticism."
"Among the rich you will never find a really generous man even by accident. They may give their money away, but they will never give themselves away; they are egotistic, secretive, dry as old bones. To be smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it."
"I believe what really happens in history is this: the old man is always wrong; and the young people are always wrong about what is wrong with him. The practical form it takes is this: that, while the old man may stand by some stupid custom, the young man always attacks it with some theory that turns out to be equally stupid."
"The person who is really in revolt is the optimist, who generally lives and dies in a desperate and suicidal effort to persuade other people how good they are."
"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it."
"We have had no good comic operas of late, because the real world has been more comic than any possible opera."
"Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to that arrogant oligarchy who merely happen to be walking around."
"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him."
"Once abolish the God, and the government becomes the God."
"If you attempt an actual argument with a modern paper of opposite politics, you will have no answer except slanging or silence."
"He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative."
"For fear of the newspapers politicians are dull, and at last they are too dull even for the newspapers."
"When a politician is in opposition he is an expert on the means to some end; and when he is in office he is an expert on the obstacles to it."
"There cannot be a nation of millionaires, and there never has been a nation of Utopian comrades; but there have been any number of nations of tolerably contented peasants."
"It is true that I am of an older fashion; much that I love has been destroyed or sent into exile."
"The modern city is ugly not because it is a city but because it is not enough of a city, because it is a jungle, because it is confused and anarchic, and surging with selfish and materialistic energies."
"Love means loving the unlovable - or it is no virtue at all."
"Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline."
"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people."
"If there were no God, there would be no atheists."
"The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man."
"The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion, but, on the contrary, of its liberality and humanity. It is shorter to state the things forbidden than the things permitted: precisely because most things are permitted, and only a few things are forbidden."
"These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own."
"If a man called Christmas Day a mere hypocritical excuse for drunkeness and gluttony, that would be false, but it would have a fact hidden in it somewhere. But when Bernard Shaw says that Christmas Day is only a conspiracy kept up by Poulterers and wine merchants from strictly business motives, then he says something which is not so much false as startling and arrestingly foolish. He might as well say that the two sexes were invented by jewellers who wanted to sell wedding rings."
"Men do not differ much about what things they will call evils; they differ enormously about what evils they will call excusable."
"It's not that we don't have enough scoundrels to curse; it's that we don't have enough good men to curse them."
"There is a case for telling the truth; there is a case for avoiding the scandal; but there is no possible defense for the man who tells the scandal, but does not tell the truth."
"Truth is sacred; and if you tell the truth too often nobody will believe it."
"There'd be a lot less scandal if people didn't idealize sin and pose as sinners."
"Idolatry is committed, not merely by setting up false gods, but also by setting up false devils; by making men afraid of war or alcohol, or economic law, when they should be afraid of spiritual corruption and cowardice."
"I say that a man must be certain of his morality for the simple reason that he has to suffer for it."
"The voice of the special rebels and prophets, recommending discontent, should, as I have said, sound now and then suddenly, like a trumpet. But the voices of the saints and sages, recommending contentment, should sound unceasingly, like the sea."
"Most modern freedom is at root fear. It is not so much that we are too bold to endure rules; it is rather that we are too timid to endure responsibilities."
"In the struggle for existence, it is only on those who hang on for ten minutes after all is hopeless, that hope begins to dawn."
"Modern broad-mindedness benefits the rich; and benefits nobody else."
"Price is a crazy and incalculable thing, while Value is an intrinsic and indestructible thing."
"Business, especially big business, is now organized like an army. It is, as some would say, a sort of mild militarism without bloodshed; as I say, a militarism without the military virtues."
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."
--G. K. Chesterton
"Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation."
"Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation."
"Faith is to believe what you do not see. The reward is to see what you believe."
"Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others."
"Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again."
"God had one son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering."
"He that is kind is free, though he is a slave; he that is evil is a slave, though he be a king."
"He who created us without our help will not save us without our consent."
"If we did not have rational souls, we would not be able to believe."
"If we live good lives, the times are also good. As we are, such are the times."
"It is not the punishment but the cause that makes the martyr."
"It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels."
"Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature."
"Anakin, the most difficult trial a Jedi must face is to look inside oneself. Often we see things we don't like. But these aspects are not set in stone. It is our decisions that shape our destinies."
"Oh, well, just another boring day saving the universe."
"Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?"
Obi-Wan Kenobi: So, I assume the plan is to crawl through the sewer, work our way to the shield generator, fight our way through the defenses, blow up the generator, knocking out the shield and all our troops swarm in and overwhelm the enemy."
Anakin Skywalker: "Yup, let's go!"
Anakin Skywalker: "Everything I know I learned from you, Master."
Obi-Wan Kenobi: "Oh, if only that were true."
"I'm sorry, Master . You were right. It was a trap, laid out by the Sith, and I ran headlong into it... but I emerged victorious!"
Copy and paste time!!
That boy you punched in the hall today? Commited suicide a few minutes ago. That girl you called a slut today? She's a virgin. The boy you called lame? He has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the stairs the other day? She's already being abused at home. That girl you called fat? She's starving herself. The old man you made fun of cause of his ugly scars? He fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. You think you know them. Guess what? You don't!
Repost if you are against bullying.
If you have ever knocked on your head to see if it's hollow, copy this into your profile
If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile
If you love writing paste this to your profile
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile
If you think that over 70 percent of the American population doesn't give a flip about responsibility and it drives you INSANE, copy this into your profile
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism
In Avatar: The Last Airbender, Princess Azula and Ty Lee are talking. Ty Lee says: "Look if you want a guy to like you, all you gotta do is smile a lot and laugh at anything he says, even if it isn't funny." Azula says: "Well that sounds really shallow and stupid." If you agree with Azula, post this in your profile.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.