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Joined 06-16-07, id: 1301907, Profile Updated: 06-30-16
Author has written 10 stories for Sky High, Megas XLR, National Treasure, How to Train Your Dragon, and Criminal Minds.

Update: June 2016. I'm not writing right now, but I am furtively reading... check the stuff in bold if you're interested.

"I can write it better than you've ever felt it." FOB

OK, thanks to my ridiculously long profile, here's a sort-of index, so you don't have to read the whole thing:

1. Quick Updates (right at the top - yeah, up there)

2. Bio

3. Fic News

4. Thanks and Disclaimer

5. Random things that probably makes this profile the longest on the whole of ff.net.

Some things you might find interesting (yeah right) about me:

I have a tattoo on my left wrist. It is a constellation of stars.

Update: I am now 27.

I used to au pair in England. I want to get another job so I can pay for petrol (for you Americans, gas) because I recently got a car. Her name is Aubergine because she is purple. However, the only job I will probably get is helping my mom with her Christmas caterings this summer. Bleak. (Update: I once again work for my family.)

I study Linguistics, English Studies, French and Ancient Cultures at the University of Stellenbosch in South Africa. I used to love French, but this year it is hell on earth since they suddenly want us to do literature. I want to shoot myself in the face. My real passion is Linguistics.

Update: Finished my degree, got a teaching certificate, taught at a homeschool facility until April 2016. Nearly killed me. Spent 3 weeks in a clinic where I was diagnosed with bulmia nervosa, major depression and general anxiety disorder with borderline personality disorder traits. That's a mouthful. Ironic update: I chose my username when I was 19. Back to the clinic. Put a lot of things in perspective. Reaffirmed my relationship with God. On a lot of meds, but meds are only 20% of your recovery. The other 80% is up to you. I'm exceptionally blessed with two wonderful parents who allowed me to move back home until I get back on my feet. Working for my dad's small loans company, which is taxing on the brain. Especially when you're a wordsmith and not an accountant. My dreams include numbers now.

Still update: I'm in a relationship with a guy for 5 years this August. We're codependant, which we both kinda knew, but was officialy pointed out during my time in the clinic. But we're working on it and we're both seeing therapists. He's in Cape Town and I'm in East London (go look it up on a map of South Africa). So it's long distance for now, but we hope to get married next year.

I'm over Bones. And Criminal Minds. And HTTYD. I'm sad. Hopefully something will bite me soon. Want to introduce me to something awesomely cool? Hopeful.

I recently brought a new guy into my life. He's known as Lord, God, Jesus, and many other names. I love him to bits but I'm a bit shy about it. People will always judge, and it kinda hurts. Update: People judge less than you think. Mostly they're too occupied with their own lives to actually even think coherently about you.

Ooh, another thing I want to say: I'm always going through my favorite list and updating it, please don't be offended I've favorited something and then went and deleted it... the only fics on there are the ones I had a skull-in-hand-moment with. (...long story short, skull-in-hand = Hamlet = to be or not to be, the ultimate question posed on modern society. just my opinion.)

Acceptance: The plastic surgery was a complete mistake, as it almost always is (well, from what I've heard. I have no personal experience in that area. Yet.). So for now, it's staying as it is. I have a block that no amount of Sky High re-watching can bypass. It really sucks.

Dawn of the Fat: I guess it's safe to say hiatus...

One-shots: I don't usually do follow-ups of one-shots, but I'll consider it if you ask nicely. For example, I'm currently working on something of a sequel to Fade thanks to a request. Which is taking longer than I thought.


The Sogur: "I liiiiiiiiive!" (Think of Mulan's Mushu waking up, and you'll get it)

I also have another profile, but the stuff there is a little far-out to post here. This is a more... conventional side of me. Hey, I have multiple personalities. What can I say?

THANK YOU: All my awesome beta-friends! You know who you are...

Also, someone up there for giving me this amazingly fulfilling, sometimes hideously frustrating talent, I am forever in love with you, no matter what happens. This too shall pass.

DISCLAIMER: I have a problem distinguishing reality from fiction. Really. I don't like admitting that I don't own Reid or Hiccup. In my mind, they are my friends. Sometime I even pretend to be them. *blushes furiously* I have never ever ever confessed to that. So I hate having to write the disclaimer. There's only so many ways to say it. And, mostly I forget and then people get on my case. It's true. You try leaving out the disclaimer and see what happens.

I don't own anything except a couple of box sets and some DVDs (and a signed photo YAY!). Anything you might recognise in my stories belong to someone else, I just get to mess around with them and make them the slaves of my imagination.

BUT I do have OCs, however few, they belong to ME and no one else... though if you feel you MUST use them in order to make your fic acceptable, drop me a line ;)

I collect weird quotes.

"I learned that from the pizza man."

"I can jump that far."

"I'm sorry we drank your father."

"Fuck this shit - I'm getting the bazooka."

"It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache."

Anyone who can tell me where the above quotes come from deserves a hand-written letter of congratulations from me. Really. Inbox me with the answer and your address and I will send you a card. All the way from South Africa. Don't be like that, I'm not a stalker. I live in South Africa for soup's sake, I'm a student. I will never make enough money to buy a ticket to America, where, let's face it, all the awesome stuff happens. Like premieres.

"He looks a bit like Frodo, but in a good way."

Forget love. I'd rather fall in chocolate.

AHHH. Donuts. . . What can't they do. - Homer Simpson

...sure, IN theeoory, in theory communism works...

Blame the guy who doesn't speak English.

Alright Brain...Its all up to you

Mmmm...Forbidden donut

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

"If toast always lands butter side down, and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered toast to the back of a cat?"

"Never play leapfrog with a unicorn."

"Alway eat ice-cream slowly."

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone."

"There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of mankind, with the possible exception of the sword."

"Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things."

"The severity of the itch is directly proportional to the reach."

"Two wrongs do not make a right, but four rights don't get you anywhere."

"Change is inevitable, except from vending machines."

"Wouldn't it be funny if -- when Benjamin Gates arrived at the Fountain of Youth -- he then found Captain Jack Sparrow and Barbossa ? It could be the Disney version of "Alien vs. Predator." Frank Wells

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs?'

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: .. You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought??...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because??...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

None of these things are mine. But feel free to copypaste :)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Forward Momentum by Falara Hughes reviews
Part Five of my Thief series. The City and Garrett recover from the Pagan plot.
Thief: The Dark Project - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,187 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/19/2016 - Published: 10/27/2015 - Complete
Beats The Hell Out of the Alternative by cairistiona7 reviews
Sometime after Bucky's done a lot of healing, Steve finds an old HYDRA file with a photo.
Captain America - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,094 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/21/2015 - Bucky B./Winter Soldier, Steve R./Capt. America - Complete
Not Fit For Duty by cairistiona7 reviews
To help an old friend sounds like a good plan, but this is Bucky Barnes. Best laid plans oft go awry, and absolutely nothing is ever easy for him. A one-shot that immediately follows "Orders Acknowledged". Rated for language and mention of non-consensual torture. No explicit details but still could be triggery for some. Second in "Breath, Focus" series.
Captain America - Rated: M - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,028 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/1/2015 - Steve R./Capt. America, Bucky B./Winter Soldier, Sam W./Falcon - Complete
Orders Acknowledged by cairistiona7 reviews
When he hears about Agent Carter's passing, he knows he has to come back. First story in "Breathe, Focus" series, followed by "Not Fit For Duty".
Captain America - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,761 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 11 - Published: 5/14/2015 - Steve R./Capt. America, Peggy C., Bucky B./Winter Soldier - Complete
Relics of the Past by Falara Hughes reviews
The Baron is dead! Long live the new Baron! Old factions re-emerge and Garrett plots to put an end to his dealings with the Keepers and the primal. Part four of my ongoing Thief 2014 post-game story.
Thief: The Dark Project - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 18,903 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/9/2015 - Complete
Unwanted Responsibilities by Falara Hughes
Tale #3 in my ongoing Thief 2014 post-game series. Garrett tries to protect himself from the Keepers who want to recruit him to watch over The City and has a return trip to the Maw of Chaos.
Thief: The Dark Project - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,699 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/25/2015 - Published: 1/23/2015 - Complete
The Most Promising Acolyte by Falara Hughes reviews
The winter season sets in and the witch's stone proves to be more trouble than it was worth to steal. A followup to my first Thief 2014 story, "The Ghost, The Opportunist and the Predator."
Thief: The Dark Project - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,027 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/7/2015 - Published: 1/6/2015 - Complete
The Ghost, The Opportunist and The Predator by Falara Hughes reviews
Months after the events of the Thief 2014 game, Garrett has an unexpected reunion with old acquaintances as a new Thief-Taker General establishes himself in The City.
Thief: The Dark Project - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 28,092 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/25/2014 - Published: 12/22/2014 - Complete
The Boys on the Blue Line by super ario reviews
You never know who you're going to meet on the subway.
Crossover - Bones & Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,321 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 46 - Published: 10/25/2011 - L. Sweets, S. Reid - Complete
The Syncope in the Psychologist by super ario reviews
They had to break it to him sometime. Post season six finale.
Bones - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,122 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/20/2011 - L. Sweets - Complete
When I Was Thirteen by LordYsHarker reviews
Ben's curiosity was sparked when Riley mentioned he disappeared as a kid, but as Ben tries to piece together all that happened in that long lost time he could end up losing his friend altogether.
National Treasure - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 51,516 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 4/16/2011 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Riley P., Ben G. - Complete
Families and Flights of Feathers by Daylight reviews
A collection of one-shots focusing on Castiel and his connection with the family of Sam, Dean and Bobby. S5. Gen.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 28,117 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 10/15/2010 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Castiel, Bobby S., Dean W., Sam W.
A Minor Failure by marblepanda reviews
Hiccup has hiccups.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 20 - Published: 4/19/2010 - Hiccup, Toothless
Technological Karma by Craic agus Ceol reviews
A Ben and Riley "How They Met" story involving a rainstorm, Star Wars references, and a broken computer. Slightly AU, for no cubicles are involved. Also contains a little h/c, because I can't keep it away.
National Treasure - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,254 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 7/14/2009 - Published: 4/30/2009 - Riley P., Ben G. - Complete
Chasing The Lab Rat by White N Nerdy reviews
We all know and love the episode “Chasing the Bus.” But what if the convict had lived and the only thing standing between him and freedom was Greg? Wow that’d be crazy. Let’s see what happens...
CSI - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,259 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 7/10/2008 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Greg S. - Complete
Taken Too Literally by BandGeek58407 reviews
Ben decides to take the knighting by his grandfather a little too seriously, which wouldn't be such a bad thing if Riley hadn't walked in on him. Chaos and silly brotherly fluff ensues. Oneshot.
National Treasure - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,692 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/7/2008 - Ben G., Riley P. - Complete
Hold Up by save changes to normal reviews
All they wanted was a couple of cheeseburgers. But with Ben and Riley, is it ever that simple?
National Treasure - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,490 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 9/19/2007 - Published: 8/28/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Sögur reviews
A series of unrelated one-shots centred around Hiccup and Toothless. Lots of friendship and hurt/comfort, but prompt for more!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,486 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 11/17/2012 - Published: 4/17/2010 - Hiccup, Toothless
Just off the key of reason reviews
Another ONESHOT. Garcia needs to fix something that has been bugging her for a very long time. Warnings: Reid-whump and mild swearing. And silliness.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,363 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/14/2011 - P. Garcia, S. Reid - Complete
We don't fight fair reviews
Ridiculous drabble. The jet is in for a service, and the team finds another mode of transportation. It's not fun for anyone.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 508 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/7/2011 - S. Reid, A. Hotchner/Hotch - Complete
Can't Live Forever reviews
Okay. ONESHOT involving deceased friends, low couches, tension headaches, a remarkably effective means of shutting Riley up, rebirth and final happiness. Not character death. Rated K , probably my lowest rating ever...
National Treasure - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,492 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Riley P., Ben G. - Complete
See the Sun reviews
A simple Riley sick-fic gone angsty. Riley house-sits for Ben and Abigail while he's got the flu, and... read the story. Rating for language, six-part. Warning - some sensitive subjects.
National Treasure - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,482 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 3/13/2009 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Complete
These Lonely Sundays reviews
It's Mother's Day... and it's one of those days. Abigail misses her mom. Then someone shows up with an unlikely story. Oneshot. For momiji'sunusedhalo.
National Treasure - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,481 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Complete
After the Charlotte reviews
A what-might-have-happened fic set straight after the Charlotte blew up in NT 1, but the rest of the film remains unchanged. Rated T for some crass and obviously terrified language. Four-part.
National Treasure - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,234 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/16/2009 - Published: 12/12/2008 - Complete
Fade reviews
Another take on one of the axioms of Sky High fanfic: what might have happened during Save the Citizen. WarrenWill friendship fluff, one shot deal, rated T because, heck, it just is.
Sky High - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 954 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Complete
Acceptance is not necessarily good reviews
With family, friends and foes all vying for his attention, Warren realises that the thing he wants most in life is heavily overrated. Rated T for a little profanity.
Sky High - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 38,669 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/15/2008 - Published: 6/22/2007
Dawn of the Fat reviews
First episode in wouldbe 'season'. Coop and Jamie get transported to a very strange place where darkness reigns and guess who has to save them.
Megas XLR - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,360 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/29/2007 - Published: 12/2/2007