Author has written 1 story for Bones.
Hi peoples! I'm a fairly new writer with a sense of humor that CANNOT be described in words, a creative mind, and, most importantly, a lot of spare time. My name's Lauren. My age is sorta personal, but you could probably guess it anyway. I live in the U.S.
Books: Twilight is THE best book in the world, except maybe New Moon or Eclipse. Harry Potter is AWESOME! Marked, by the Casts, is another book that I recommend to everyone, including those who are reading this! I love most paranormal books.
Music: Where to start! Music is another way I spend all my free time. My Chemical Romance is awesome, especially for those who listen with their eyes. -wink, wink ; )- My other preferences include Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, 30 Seconds To Mars, The Used, Maroon 5, Evanescence, Flyleaf, and whatever else is on the radio. I listen to mod. country a lot.
My Favorite Lyrics:
Stuff About Me:
I don't think jealousy should be considered an emotion.
I spend most of my free time reading, writing, and playing on the computer.
I think old people are kool. (Yes, I know I spelled cool wrong.)
I spell kool wrong a lot.
My best friend believes that inhaling anything but cheesecake will make her burp. (Which is true.)
The truest word I've ever heard said were 'we are made from the sharpest things you say.' MCR
The most dangerous thing to humans is other humans.
I call my bedroom "The Bat Cave". And so do my parents.
If I had to compare myself to a fictional character, it would be Luna Lovegood, 'cuz she's awesome.
Long movies make me dizzy.
I have more pets than I can count.
I often compare fictional characters to people I know.
I'll write more later...
Quotes: My life is full of hilarious comments. This is probably because my friends have a tendency to sniff Sharpies during class.
(Whispers) I see crazy people...
"Gothic hippies!" - Me
May the schwartz be with you. (Spaceballs, the movie.)
"Boo-frickety-hoo!"-Dr.Evil, Austin Powers 3
"Nice to mole you! I mean, nice to meet your mole! Don't say mole. I said mole..." Austin Powers, Austin Powers 3
(Me and ten other people were in the cafeteria 'cuz we were early for lunch. One of them was this guy whose name is Chris, I think. He took a fortune cookie out of his pocket opened it, and read out loud, "Forbidden fruits make many jams..." He looked at me, I don't know why, we only have one class together, and I said, "Dude, that sounds like gay poetry!" He looked at me in a way that clearly said, "Wtf?" So I went, "You're fortune cookie is gay!!" So he eats it. (I have nothing against gay people.))
"George Bush hates wet people!" Wyatt Cenac, The Daily Show (Discussing the floods in Ohio)
"I will kill you with my garden gnomes and their dangerous pointy hats!!" -Kim
"Ooohh, a dangerous, pointy object!!" - Me
"Being anorexic is the preppy way of being emo... oh! That was an oxymoron!" - Melissa
(Uh-oh, short story - I walk into the sunlight. It burns. Me:"It BURNS!!" Brittany: -pulls out sunglasses- Oh, I'm protected. -put on sunglasses and steps into sunlight- AH!! It STILL BURNS!! Melissa: Hey Brittany, whats with the sunglasses? Brittany: They make me look dignified. Melissa: Like you even know what that means. Brittany: Shut up! Just shut up Melissa! Me: Wow...)
"Silence! I kill you!" Achmed the Dead Terrorist, Jeff Dunham
"You were having one of those 'oh my God, fuck me now' moments." -Melissa
"Well, fuck me sideways and call me a Mexican." -Katie
"...Speaking of big-ass trucks..." -Kim
"Oh no, I seem to be having some problems finding my pants!" "Well, I should certainly hope so..." -Me, Fallyn
"Tired +Snowboarding=Tree." -Melissa
"Wiccan fridge magnets!" -Me
"Yes! My life is made!" -Me
"What is this about enlarged holes and tight cracks?" -Ghost World
"Fire is a fragile lover, court her well, neglect her not; Her faith is like a misty smoke, her anger is destructive hot." Dark Magick, Sweep#4
"Do me! Do me!" "Uh, Elliot? Not the best thing to yell in a bar." -Scrubs, Elliot and Carla
"Gasp! You just caused an earthquake in a third-world country!" -Me
"You're the only one who can say the word 'perverse' and not sound like an asshole." -Melissa
"Look, Lola, I made firey water! Oh, that sounded wrong..." Melissa
"You're gonna break something, preferably your neck." -Me
"Do you, Pigeon, take this Hobo to be your lawfully wedded lesbian?" -Brittany
"I didn't say that!" "No, but you were thinking it very loudly!" "Oh... I wasn't aware I was doing that..." Casey, Me, Casey
"OMG, violent flying balls!" -Me (in gym class)
"You licked my weinis!" -Chris
"Book-licker!" -Melissa and Heather simultaneously
"To the Batmobile, Hobo!" -Brittany
"If they call an orgy and orjy, than why don't they call an orgasm an orjasm? Orjasm! Orjasm!" -Melissa
"You're a butt nugget." -Maddie
"'Hi'? Why can't you write something interesting on my hand? Wait, nothing innappropriate, cuz you would write 'orgasm' across my hand." "I was thinking 'boner', but that works too." "You wrote 'something interesting'." Melissa, Casey, Melissa
"You're such a pervertophile." -Me
"You just implied that his dick is going to catch fire." -Melissa
"I'm a vampire. I go there." -LivingInDisturbia, YouTube, Edward Goes To Hogwarts Part 2
"You make my brain go 'ka-boom'!" -Me
"He was talking, yawning and eating at the same time. It was very entertaining." -Me
"And then this one time, in Cape Cod, I had so much pink lemonade Snapple that I threw up... and it was PINK!!" Melissa
"Carlizzle my nizzle!" - Jasper, Notes with Alice, Bella and the Cullens (my favorite fanfic)
"This is me shunning you." -Bella, Notes With Alice, Bella and the Cullens
"Holy singular nipples!" - Me
"You know, it's people like you who make the word 'oral' sound wrong." -Me (to Fallyn)
"No! No! No! Connor, you're supposed to be killing Darth Vader!" "Well, sor-ry." -Dad, Connor
"Oh, you can go buck a fuffalo for all I shive a git." -Dad
"Ow, my hair hurts!" -Melissa
"It's porn for science geeks." -Me
"Jason's so hot, right?" "I thought Jason was a girl." -Casey, Me
"Way to word vomit, Jasper." -Emmett, Twilulz
"She's about to have a 'wardrobe malfunction'." "She is a wardrobe malfunction." -Me, Mom
"She has a suction cup ass!" -Ashley
"I had a dream where an axe-murderer killed Tyson Ritler and I woke up crying." -Me
"Well if you have a suction cup ass, she has suction cup boobs." -Me
Dun dun duh...
Phobias: I love these...
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (Irony...)
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
Levophobia- Fear of things to the left side of the body.
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people. (Tee hee. That's me.)
Pediophobia - Fear of dolls, which I actually do have. Idk why, but this sort of reminds me of the word 'pedophile'.
Copy And Pastes:
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
Saying you are weird is normal. Saying you are normal is odd. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile!
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of all the characters in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you wirte Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of actually doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binder with doodles/love notes/ confessions of love/ any other Twilight realted thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you are at just by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out all the Twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you have a folder in your backpack full of pictures (drawn and computer generated) for the Twilight series, and have all the playlist songs on your iPod. Crazy is when you walk into a store, walk around in duckie robes that are sold there, and take pictures of you and your friends doing crazy things (wearing cat beds on you head or kissing garden statues of frogs) until closing time. Crazy is when you have a conversation with someone about you being a pixie but want to be a vampire but cant because your vampire friend wont bite you because you will turn to dust, all of that after asking the cast of the play your in if you can bit them, while your all backstage waiting to go on. Crazy is when you walk up to a complete stranger at the mall and ask if their cat still has rabies and constipation. If you're crazy, copy this into your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
If you've reread Twilight over 10 times...C&P this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, C&P this into your pro.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Ambercrombie and Fitch told them it's not cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.
Most people would be offeneded if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"
If you are so obsessed with Twilight it is NOT even funny anymore, C&P.
If you ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, C&P.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, C&P.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfiction, copy this into your pro.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy this into your profile.
If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your pro.
If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have an odd sort of love/hate realationship with your computer, C&P.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, C&P!
93 percent of teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the seven percent that would ask "what was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Ivander Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Alice001, HeartOfAgony, VampiressE12B, down.with.jacob, bibliocrazed, Shikiangel CerEbow, Andrazuria, icanreadyourmind
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste into your pro.
If you've ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, C&P.
If you are one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste.
If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that when you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...C&P.
Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree C&P!!
If you have your own little world, C&P.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste.
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are antisocial sometimes, copy and paste.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste.
If you have ever run into a tree, C&P.
Homophobia is a socially transmitted disease.
There are people killed every year because they are gay and people think that's wrong.
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--
Update/Note-thingy...: I've decided to temporarily delete my story The Seen from the website. I might post it again, but my pleas for reviews are going unanswered, and I'm running out of ideas. Thank you to my 3-4 loyal readers and I'm sorry but I promise to write more!
As of today, 5/8/08, both my Twilight fanfics are on hold! Sorry peeps!!
Story Ideas And Projects (Not that you care, I just need a place to put these.)