Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.
Hi, im April Black... If your really bored, you can read my ongoing conversation between myself and Jacob Black. :)
April: Blahblahblah Im April Black, and this is Jake
Jake: Hi... (looks around warily) um, April?
Jake: What are we doing on your profile?
April: Well, I feel like talking to you...
Jake: Yeah, but remember, that alot of people hate me, because of the whole werewolf/Bella/vampire/Cullens/Twilight thing...
Jake: Well, are you sure you should be putting this up on your profile?
April: Of course... well, you are my husband, right?
Jake: Yeah, but people are all going to think your crazy... talking to a fictional character...
April: oh, right... (looks at people reading her profile and shrugs) I dont like any of them anyway... except for that one... (points at reader) Yeah, your not that bad...
Jake: Yeah, I like her too...
April: I think thats a guy...
Jake: What are you crazy? Theres barely any guys on the Twilight fanfiction...
April: Your right... but then whats that on their face?
Jake: (squints at you) oh yeah, thats kind of weird... Hey, go look in the mirror, i think you have oreo or something on your face...
April: I thought it was a moustache... Thats why i thought it was a guy...
Jake: You thought they had a black and white mustache? She's blond!
April: No shes not! She's clearly brunette!
Jake: Um, actually, I think she's a redhead...
April: (looks at you) are we talking about the same person?
Jake: I think so...
April: I can't tell, but I think she has really cool hair...
Jake: You can't tell? Then how can you say that?
April: Well, it's nicer than saying its ugly...
Jake: Oh, yeah, i guess thats right...
April: So, (looks at you) how are you today?
You: ... ... ... ... ...
Jake: Really? Well thats interesting...
April: Yeah... That kindof stinks...
Jake: (looks at April) Why? I thought that was good news! (looks at you) was that good news?
April: Shes not being very clear...
Jake: I still think thats a guy...
April: It was me who thought it was a guy!! (squints at you) No, thats definitely a girl...
Jake: It could just be a very pretty guy...
April: But with that hair?
Jake: Hey! I have nice hair too!!
April: Well my hair is green, but that doesn't make me a guy...
Jake: I would say your hair is brunette... with blue streaks, not green...
Me: Umm, lets just say they're teal and call it even...
Me: I wonder if this convo makes sense to anyone else...
Jake: Probably not... The PATI goers might understand it better...
Me: Patty? who's Patty?
Jake: Not Patty, PATI. P-A-T-I
Me: Oh!! I keep forgetting that the forum is Party at the Institute now...
Jake: Im glad it is...
Jake: Come on, I hated its old name!
Me: Revenge and Vacation?
Jake: Yeah, you remember what "Revenge" was?
Me: (snorts) oh yeah, it was a bunch of just made vampires set on killing you.
Me: But we all get along now :)
Jake: Yeah... I wonder how that happened?
Me: They got to know you, and realized you weren't so bad.
Jake: (smiles) They fell in love with my charm and good humor...
Me: uh, probably not... but I did! (kisses Jake's cheek)
Jake: Ummm, April?
Jake: Can I ask you something?
Me: Sure, shoot (wince)
Jake: Not to be rude, but why is your profile trash?
Me: Its not trash...
Jake: No, I mean why is it a trashcan and trash?
Me: But its not...
Jake: Yes it is... Oh, wait, you changed it...
Me: Here, i'll change it back... hold on... ... ... ... ...
Jake: Its not working...
Me: Oh... yes it is!!
Jake: No its not...
Jake: But why is it trash??
Me: I'll tell you later...
Jake: ... Is it later yet?
Me: Yes, it is later...
Jake: Oh (smiles) Well then can you tell me why your profile is a trashcan?
Me: Jake, my profile hasn't been a trashcan for like three months now.
Jake: You haven't updated our convo in THREE MONTHS?? (pouts) wow I feel unloved.
Me: Well you are unloved (turns away from Jake)
Jake: WHAT? Why? April... Sweetheart... Are you mad at me?
Me: (looks away, trying not to laugh) Yes (snort)
Jake: (frowns) did you just snort?
Me: No! (giggle)
Jake: Did you just giggle?
Me: No! (snort)
Jake: Did you just snort?
Me: YOU ALREADY ASKED ME THAT!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS REPEAT YOURSELF??
Jake: (shrinks away) uhhh...
Me: (glares down at Jake, then gives up and bursts out laughing)
Jake: (looks at April) What is WRONG with you? Seriously.
Me: Nothing. Nothing at all. At least I am human, and I know I am human.
Jake: (squints) Im not always too sure about that. Anyway, I am werewolf and I know I am werewolf, so we are even.
Me: No your not.
Me: Weelll, apparently werewolves aren't werewolves anymore, remember? You a SHAPESHIFTER!!
Jake: Oh... yeah, well about that... I think I am more werewolfy than the Cullens are vampiric... so i dont think thats fair.
Me: I agree... Lets see, they dont sleep in coffins, they dont drink from humans, they dont burn in sunlight, they cant be killed by holy water or stakes through the heart... what makes them vampires? I say they are gross deer sucking rocks
Jake: Finally! Someone who agrees with me!
Me: Well, I usually agree with you...
Jake: (looks up and notice's April's pen name)
Me: Jake? You look pretty pissed... Whats wrong?
Jake: (starts growling) I have dealt with elves with bows and FBI agents with rocketlaunchers and videogame characters and random senior guys, all because your cute. NOW WHO THE HELL IS NING?
Me: Sorry Jake. Ning stole my heart. (smiles)
Jake: (starts shaking)
Me: Jeez, calm down Jake, no biggie, he's from reality reality, not book reality.
Jake: (thinks) Who do you like more?
Me: (thinks for about half a second) Ning, definitely.
Jake: (grumbles) I'm going to find Nessie... (wanders off)
Some favorite quotes(dont worry, they dont need to make sense :) :
"You know that if you split a banana like that, the calories fall out." "Is that really true??" - Zink and poprincess
"Oh, the gargoyles love each other, they're kissing! Oh nevermind, that looks awkward.." SkippinSinger
"Waltz with me? While the gargoyles are doing their thang" - ruinaneil and skippinsinger
"BOOM. Byebye." - Zink (seriously)
"Can I have the computer?" "No." "Why not? Play Runescape later." "No. Im pwning some noobs." "Well I have a paper to write." ... ... "No. This is more important." - Me and UnEmo (I recently learned that poning is wrong... its got a W apparently) ((I even more recently learned that powning is wrong too... theres no o... the things my older brother knows...)
"Soymilk doesn't have soybeans in it!!" - S.L
"No no no, isn't tofu like a country? In Asia?" - S.L again
"I think those two things you just said go on my list for top five stupidest things I've ever heard. Seriously." ... ... ... "What are the other four?" - Guy at lunchtable and S.L again
"Shun the y-chromosome!!" - Me and BlueStreak
"April, if I wasn't straight I would totally date you." - SkippinSinger
"Oh my god, that looked like it really hurt! (snaps a picture)" - SkippinSinger
"Hey... watch it... " "What? Its for you to get later" - CurlyFry y sugarboy
"Em, are you on crack?" ... "No, jellybeans." - Emily and Bluestreak
"ok, I just had to message you in response to one particular quote on your
"ok... really important: DO NOT LISTEN TO ME!!" - RuinAneil
"Lets go take pictures of April drinking!" "Hold on, lemme put my shirt on" SkippinSinger and RuinAneil
"Do you eat fish?" ... "No, Im a vegetarian..." .. "Oh... Do you eat chicken?" - Me and TheMilo
"this is me sending you a huge virtual hug because if i could i would jump out of your computer and give it to you in person... but seeing as i am no hudini (how the heck do you spell his name?) i cant do that." - RuinAenil
"One, no poking, two, no pushing, and three, RUBY RELEASE ME!!"- me
"Yeah... Total insanity is kinda insane..." "Wow babe, cause that made total sense." "It did to me (eye twitch)" - CurlyFry and me
"Jeez, what happened to your arm?" "Tiger." "um... what?" "Tiger. He got me." - Me and TheMilo
"Umm, question... Why did you make me take my shirt off?" - RuinAenil
"Why are all the hott guys always gay?"- me
(to me) "Yes you definitely win in the creepy category"- RuinAenil
"WHY WON'T I BRUSE??"- RuinAenil (she is always jealous when we get bruises... I think shes a masochist)
"I call it The Turd"- SkippingSinger/PrettyProdigy/me/ParanoidRomantic (i can't remember which one)
"The Erect Pinaple"- ParanoidRomantic
"Shit." "... bucket." "What?" "Say shitbucket instead. Dont curse." ... ... ... "How does adding bucket to it make it any better?" "Because then your just talking about the container, not the actual thing. It's like how toilet is better than poop." "What? No, cause then instead of talking about one singular shit, then your talking about an entire bucket of it!... ... ... and seriously, who says shitbucket?" - SkippingSinger and me(im the one who cursed in the first place)
"Guys, its okay, i think its just a cooler!" "No, thats a bumper" - Ruinaneil and Paranoid Romantic
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! MY PLATE WAS CLEAN!!" - PrettyProdigy
"I dont have a caffeine addiction!!" ... ... ... "(snort)" - Me and PrettyProdigy
(on the phone) "I had ravioli tonight. It was really good." "Oh, ew Jake, I hate ravioli." "WHAT?? April how can you not like RAVIOLI??" "Umm, its just really gross... I hate it..." click "Jake? Hello?" (five minutes later he calls me back) "Hey April." "Did you seriously hang up on me?" "Im sorry April, but you just dont insult a man's ravioli." - Quil/Aro and me
"UnEmo?" "Yeah, thats the nickname i gave him" "He said that?" "Yeah, he wouldn't let me on the computer!" ... ... "You know you spelled poning wrong... Its got a W in it." - Zink
"You freeze like that and still seem to play." - Me to Zink
"Good thing there aren't any real guys in the room right now... That would be awkward." "(coughs, points at himself) Thanks April. Really." Me and Zink
"Ow! April, you just bit me!" "No I didn't..." "Yes, you did." "No I didn't." "Then whats this ring of red marks on my arm?" "... ... ... No I didn't." - Me and Zink
"You, child, are not human. I dont know what you are, but its not human." "Maybe I'm a vampire. Maybe I'm a werewolf. Wait, apparently werewolves aren't werewolves anymore, so maybe I'm nothing." - Zink and me
"Your fly's down..." "It's an invitation... ..." - Unemo and me
"Having problems there babe?" "Yeah, its too short and it needs to be longer... " "... oh" Curly Fry and Me
"I think its a bad idea. I think it's a terrible, terrible idea and very bad things are going to come of it. You have to do it." - Paranoid Romantic
"If you go run away and hide in Madagascar, i will hire a trained hit man to find you. I would do whatever it takes." "(snickers) really Jake?" "Yep. And then when he finds you he will shoot you." "What? Why would you hire someone to shoot me?" "April, I coul'd never get him to convince you to come home, your too stubborn." "So wait, you would rather me dead that not home?" "No." "Then why would you shoot me?" "So that you would be incapacitated and he could drag you back. I'd get him to use a tranquilizer dart." "... ... You have serious issues, you know that?" - MyJake and Me
"Money does grow on trees. Its called Marijuana." ... ... "Wait, Marijuana doesn't grow on trees!" - Popprincess and me
"Ruby, I LOVE your forhead right now." Me
"I tried sniffing coke but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose." - UnEmo
The Best(or most... interesting) Reviews I have ever gotten:
From People That Love Me :)
ANOTHER ADDICTED FAN.
Eh, I actually have no idea on how you should end this. But Esme should show Bella that she forgives her, I mean, Carlisle's not dead right?
anyways. im not fat april!
felix grunts when he picks me up!
hah. its all good.
but i better get my head back... soon... jk!
Haha jkjk This is amazing april :)!! You really got the chaos of a battle down :) I love it update soon please :)
BUT I BETTER GET MY FOOT BACK!
okay love you.
JUST RETURN MY FOOT!
i hate you.
oh p.s...ashley...i love you!!
Also, I tried to figure out the riddle and I can't. I'm going to guess something random like sos because I really want to know. can you explain it though too? thanks! Write again soon!
As for kill suggestions: I'd vote Jane, since everyone already kind of harbors a grudge against her, or perhaps Marcus. Leave Aro alive; he's such a great bad guy! He's the perfect writer's tool. Oh, and don't kill off any of the Cullens. I seriously will cry. I almost did when Edward and Bella died, but I had a feeling they didn't really.
ME: YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE SCARED OF VEGETARIAN VAMPIRES! even though they are kinda scary when they fight_~ -runs away from fuming Aro-
And Jacob as a vampire? Not that is weird.
You get five chocolate covered miracle beans for it!
Okay, now that my little rant about how dumb peoples are, I can continue.
Sorry about the above. I have a serious problem with trying to keep my emotions in check. Just jokin... I think. Anywho, I loved loved loved your story!! And I swear to God, if you do not make a sequel I will hunt you down, cut of your arms and legs, and blend them. Then make you drink it.
On a lighter note, your story was so great! When I read writers like you, I'm always so depressed, cause I'll just never be as good! Please, please, please make a sequel!! I'm typing this on my knees. I'm begging you to make a sequel!
ANYways I really loved this story and will keep it on tabs untill you post the paragraph or I've waited for like 2 mounths... But just in case I don't get another chance to say this I really loved your story and you are an amazing writer who knew just where to end it! The ending was delicate you didn't try too hard to make it sappy or for people to cry... I envy that I could never write something that could make me cry even when it had only a little detail.It may sound like an insult but it means really good to me...
Many people think that to be a good writer you have to be descriptive at everything...You saw past that and that's what makes you a very good author. I'll be looking for more stories from you!
Stephanie Meyer Has Competion!
Did I say That?
The Most... Something... Reviews I've Ever Gotten
From People That Hate Me :)
And you didn't include Edward's full name Edward Antony Mason Cullen.
I see you have other chapters.
I won't say it's bad writing because it isn't, but to turn Jake into a Vampire...it just turned me off of reading anything more here. Sorry.
Never Say Die Wedding Pictures:
Okay, and here is the picture of Bella's wedding dress!!
And here is Edward's tux
And here is the bridesmails dresses(I fixed them, at first Esme's didn't come up):
and here are the tuxes that the rest of the guys wore!!
Lauren, I love you to death and I could never have picked those out myself!! Thank you!!
If anyone is ever bored and wants a fun convo, visit our forum, Party At The Institue!! Unfortunately, we can't admit sane people...
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