Author has written 4 stories for Xenosaga, and Harry Potter.
Umm...not much to say. Been reading off of FanFiction . net for a while now, a couple years at least, and decided to actually try my hand at writing.
My first story; Kirschwasser's Story, isn't exactly formatted how i'd like in the beginning chapters. I'd like to think it gets better as it goes, but I'm the only one who's seen it so far.
A few more stories for Harry Potter category have come up. The earlier mentioned A Werewolf's Tale has the beginning/current chapters posted. It is set in 1995 (5th year), and follows a young girl who grew up in a muggle werewolf community as she plans to start her first year. This story may have happened on a road block, but the final destination was always rather sketchy.
Also added are Phoenix of Chaos and Blast Into The Past. So far the latter has the most chapters up/planned and also seems the more popular of the two. It will jump around a bit until maybe fifth year, because not much changes from the original books. Blast Into The Past features Harry permanently disguising himself as the controversial Female Blaise (Canon/Male Blaise is mentioned by Harry/Blaise to have died before actual birth, causing Harry/Blaise to be adopted, even if that is supposed to be his/her parents most guarded secret) and helping the Boy-Who-Lived, the true Harry Potter, and his/her own friends to survive the war. Phoenix of Chaos is somewhat AU, the main difference being Harry's parents are alive, although not much of the plot has changed. This first person POV story follows a young assassin as she gets an unknown (to the reader and most characters) job that takes her to Hogwarts. Butting heads with the staff and striking up odd friendships with some students, the unknown chaos witch watches and waits in the shadows for the opportunity to carry out the job her employers have set out for her.
Well, I hope you read and enjoy, or perhaps take a look at some of the stories I have marked under favorites. This is just my personal opinion, but they are either well written or have a nice/unusual plot.
Well, that's all for now
If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you can read that please put it in your profile.
ADD: I aslo hvae hraed tihs bofree, but taht was in an eaiml. It siad taht annyoe cluod raed it, tuhgoh.
The Stupidest Warnings/Labels On Products
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)
On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Aw, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food!?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos!: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special?)
On a Korean knife: “Keep out of children” (I should bloody well hope so!)
Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"(That means you, Hulk! Put that bloody airplane down, you might drop it!)
Scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" (Again, I should bloody well hope so!)
Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children." (Good thing babies aren't children, isn't it!)
Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yeah. My grandmother died because she thought my hair dye was ice-cream topping and put it in a sundae)
Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" (OMG!! That's as amazing as a newsreader reading the news!)
Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.)
RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe." (Did someone do this once...?)
Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." (No. Duh. Sherlock)
ONLY IN AMERICA:
1. Only in America ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
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