Author has written 8 stories for Legend of Zelda, Naruto, Bleach, Metal Gear, Ouran High School Host Club, and Book X-overs.
My new cat shall be named Schrodinger.
Name: Dragon of Twilight
Occupation: Depends on what's needed to be done at the moment.
Age: 18 (An adult I am!)
Eye Color: Green. I have a freckle in one of them.
Nationality: I be American (Living in Australia.)
Religion: I'm a mix of Agnostic and Pagan. ("I respect ALL Gods, I do NOT rely on them.") PM me for an explanation if you so desire one.
Phobias: Tocophobia: Fear of becoming pregnant.
Sexual Orientation: I flit between pansexual and asexual. (Again, PM me if you're curious how this paradox can exist.) Lately, I prefer fictionsexual(Copyright courtesy of ME).
Real Name: Exactly how stupid do you think I am?
Favorite Anime/Manga: Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, Naruto, Death Note, Ouran High School Host Club, Inuyasha, Saiyuki, Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni, Maria-sama ga Miteru, Code Geass, Strawberry Panic, Hellsing, Wolf's Rain, Yu Yu Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin, Kannazuki no Miko, Kuroshitsuji, Chobits, Ranma 1/2, Gungrave, Trigun, Trinity Blood, Blood Plus, Soul Eater, Absolute Boyfriend, Devil's Bride, Samurai Shamploo, Cowboy Bebop, Black Cat, Koisuru Boukun, Black Lagoon, Axis Powers Hetalia, Umineko No Naku Koroni, Elfin Lied, Full Metal Panic, Mushishi, Welcome To The NHK, Gantz, Beast Master, Petshop of Horrors, Hetalia
Favorite TV shows: House M.D., Prehistoric Park, Mythbusters, South Park, Family Guy, Danny Phantom, Pucca, Wife Swap, Most Evil, Dr. G: Medical Examiner, Ancients Behaving Badly, Dexter, Deadliest Warrior, Dr. Who, whatever's on the history channel
Favorite Movies/Books: All three Pirates of the Caribbean, Eon the Dragoneye Reborn, E.E. Knight's Wheel of Fire series, Holes, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Road to El Dorado, Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars (The original ones, not the new ones), National Treasure, Ice Age, Jurassic Park, Eragon, The Cat Returns, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Lord of the Rings, Mercedes Lackey's Joust series, Erin Hunter's Warrior cats and Seeker bears series.
Favorite Comedians: Dane Cook, Jeff Dunham, Kathy Griffin, Carlos Mencia, Bill Burr, Gabriel Iglesias, George Carlin
Favorite Bands: Evanescence, Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Within Temptation, Nickleback, Asking Alexandria, Disturbed, and Breaking Benjamin
Fav Video Games: Okami, Fullmetal Alchemist: Curse of the Crimson Elixir, Fallout 3, Bioshock 2, Shadow of the Colossus, Red Dead Redemption, Borderlands, Tales of Symphonia, Dead Space, Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon, Zelda: Twilight Princess, Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 3, Portal, Team Fortress 2, Half Life, Dead Space, Fatal Frame, Silent Hill, and Bleach: Shattered Blade (Yeah, I know, shocking. I'm a girl and I like video games.)
Likes: Running, archery, learning Japanese (Hell, according to my mom, I should know it in the first place!) , kendo, yoga, writing (duh!), and drawing.
Dislikes: Flamers, incest, and yaoi of certain pairings. Those are the things that you cannot even get me to consider. I just have a problem with the pairing up of two most likely, perfectly straight characters in a story. Incest disturbs me even more, so I don't even read it. Like most other writers, I agree with Vic Mignogna's, Edward Elric's voice actor, opinion of yaoi.
“I don't understand it. I don't like it. And I feel like it somehow...takes something away. That it desecrates the original intent of the creators. Y'know? They create these incredible characters, and people wanna twist them, pervert them into something that they're not. I don't appreciate that.”
Favorite Characters: Aburame Shino (I know, almost no character development or back story, but I like him anyway.), Sabaku no Gaara (Uh, I know, insane ex-psychopath, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for redheads.), Hitsugaya Toushirou (Cute...), Edward Elric (Hello people! How could you NOT love him?!), Russia(...I got nothing. I love him.), Ginko(He's just so cool!)
Least Favorite Characters: Envy (Death to all gay palm trees who wear skirts and belly-shirts! Those belly-shirts piss me off anyway...), Kabuto (Orochimaru's suck-buddy, that's who this guy is), Orochimaru (Child-molesting freak that needs to be shot), Dante (Damn it, I hate her! Needs to be stabbed to death, repeatedly), Sasuke (The chicken-haired emo must dieee!), Aizen (DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!) Edward Cullen (Cold, dead, and sparkling = "Tall, dark, and handsome" for the sexually batshit.)
HATRED: Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.
Meyerpires are NOT vampires. Look.
Ya know...here. Just watch this: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=C889B504E14888E7
I love Foamy The Squirrel.
I can read all of the Harry Potter books in 7 hours, 14 minutes, and 57 seconds.
Yes, I am a girl... and damn proud of it too!
I've finally checked out VG Cats! Oh, and go to 'Least I Could Do', and 'Looking For Group'! Those are AWESOME web comics!
Personal Quiz Results
You are a Chibi Seme!
You are the seme in disguise. Able to fit in and get along with uke and seme alike, you are able to get close to the uke on their level before exerting your dominance. This makes you at times manipulative and able to fool others about your true seme nature. Because of your harmless appearance, it takes the flamboyantly gay Flaming Uke to match wits and really bring out your aggressive side to expose you for the seme that you are.
Most compatible with: Flaming Uke, Badass Uke
Your kind is fairly common. Most likely you are the older or more experienced one in your relationship(s). Or, maybe you are your uke's superior in some way (as in at work or school). This makes your relationship bittersweet. While you may love your uke very much (and you and he have a rather steamy sex life), you find it hard to express your affections due to one obstacle or another. Maybe you aren't allowed to be together (no dating in the work place, for example), maybe you've been burned in the past and are hesitant to admit to anyone (including yourself) that you feel that way, or maybe your uke insists that there's no emotion in the relationship (in other words: he views you as fuck buddies). Even though it only seems like your relationships are meant to end in disaster, you would still risk more than you should for the one you love.
Likeliness of being uke: 5
Yes, there is a whole section on my profile JUST for the pairings. Anyone who reads this, please don't bite my head off if you happen to disagree with my opinions. If you just HAVE to pick a fight with me, have a REASONABLE argument handy for me and don't just send me a PM saying, "IchiSen sucks ass! IchiRuki pwns all n00Bz!" If you're gonna fight with me over pairings, at least sound intelligent while doing it.
For Fullmetal Alchemist, Bleach, and Naruto I only write canon/OC--and it is always the same OC.
Code Geass: LelouXShirley(Oh, god, Shirley...), SuzakuXEuphemia
Fullmetal Alchemist: EdXOC, AlXWinry, RoyXRiza, IzumiXSid, PrideXSloth, ScarXLust
Bleach: IchigoXSenna, IchigoXOrihime, IchigoXRukia, IchigoXNel, IchigoXYoruichi, MatsumotoXGin, MatsumotoXShuuhei, HinamoriXIzuru, IkkakuXYumichika, IkkakuXMizuho, IshidaXOrihime, IshidaXNemu, KyorakuXNanao, UkitakeXKiyone, StarkXHalibel, AizenXHinamori, NnoitraXNel, HitsugayaXOC, HitsugayaXOrihime(One of the rarer pairings, I know.), UraharaXYoruichi, SoifonXYoruichi, UnohanaXUkitake, UlquiorraXOrihime...and not to mention my personal crack pairing, HitsugayaXHalibel.
Yu Yu Hakusho: HieiXOC, KuramaXOC, KuramaXBotan, YusukeXKeiko, KuwabaraXYukina, ShizuruXKoenma, BotanXKoenma
Inuyasha: InuyashaXKagome, MirokuXSango, ShippoXRin, SesshoumaruXOC, KougaXAyame
Note: I love OCs in a pairing with ANYONE from ANY anime. If the OC is good, I will read it. Enough said. I also prefer the females as the dominant ones and aggressive to a certain degree.
I LOATHE AND WILL NOT READ EVEN IF THERE WAS A GUN TO MY HEAD:RoyXEd (THEY HATE EACH OTHER! Plus Roy is more than seven years older! Its purely PATERNAL!), EdXAlphons(e) (Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.), EdXRose/Noa/Winry (twitch), HitsuXHina (Hinamori I see as more of a sisterly bond...), HitsuMatsu (She's over three times his age! And almost twice his height.), HieiXYukina(Brother and sister, people!)IchigoXOgichi, IchigoXRenji, and I'll come right out with it... I (mostly) HATE YAOI UNLESS THE CHARACTERS ARE REVEALED TO BE GAY!
FUN AND RANDOM
Number your 12 favorite Bleach characters in no particular order and answer the following questions.
1. Kurosaki Ichigo
Have you ever read a Six(Komamura)/Eleven(Renji) fic? Do you want to?
Do you think Four(Senna) is hot? How hot?!
What would happen if Twelve(Ikkaku) got Eight(Yoruichi) pregnant?
Make up a summary for a Three(Rukia)/Ten(Orihime) fic.
Is there any such thing as One(Ichigo)/Eight(Yoruichi) fluff?
Suggest a title for a Seven(Soifon)/Twelve(Ikkaku) hurt/comfort fic.
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four(Senna) to deflower One(Ichigo)?
Do any of your friends read Three(Rukia) het?
Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven(Renji)?
Would any of your friends write Two(Ukitake)/Four(Senna)/Five(Hitsugaya)?
What might Ten(Orihime) scream at a moment of great passion?
If you wrote a song-fic about Eight(Yoruichi), which song would you choose?
If you wrote a One(Ichigo)/Six(Komamura)/Twelve(Ikkaku) fic, what would the warnings be?
What might be a good pick-up line for Two(Ukitake) to use on Ten(Orihime)?
"One(Ichigo) and Nine(Urahara) are in a happy relationship until Nine(Urahara) suddenly runs off with Four(Senna). One(Ichigo), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven(Renji) and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve(Ikkaku), then follows the wise advice of Five(Hitsugaya) and finds true love with Three(Rukia)." What title would you give this fic?
Name one person who should write it.
Would Eleven(Renji) get in bed with Nine(Urahara)? Drunk or sober?
I got FANART!: link
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
"Never admit defeat and ask for a quick death! Die first, then admit defeat! If you are defeated but didn't die, it just means you were lucky! At those times, think only about survival! Survive and think only about killing the one who failed to kill you!" - Zaraki Kenpachi, Bleach
"I can't believe what an obnoxious little snot you are!" - Kurosaki Ichigo to Hitsugaya Toushirou, Bleach
"We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage'. I believe the technical term is 'being an ass'." - Shigure
"If he's angry, I’ll try to calm him. If he's sad, I'll comfort him. If he laughs, I’ll be laughing along. If he wants to run, I'll follow him. If he doesn’t want me, I accept that…But if he ever needs someone, I’ll be here." - Maboroshi Yuurei, Requiem of a Wandering Spirit
"I placed this blade of grass in my mouth thinking I'd look cool. But it must be poison 'cause ith makinth ma mouth numb." - Kyōraku Shunsui, Bleach
"Your first kiss is never the way you want it to be. In fact, your first kiss should probably be classed as a 'hazardous and highly dangerous experience' and avoided like the bubonic plague."
"No, not yet, now that you've made me this serious. Regret as much as you damn well want!" - Hitsugaya Toushirou, Bleach
"We are all like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go our separate ways and become further apart. But even if that time comes, let's not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine... forever." - Hitsugaya Toushirou, Bleach
"I hate talkative guys... They gross me out." - Matsumoto Rangiku, Bleach
"Ain't I? I'm literally hemorrhaging generosity." - Zaraki, Bleach
Rangiku steps out of the bath naked to comfort a crying Orihime "There, there! Cry, cry, you poor thing. Drown all of your sorrows in my chest!" - Matsumoto Rangiku, Bleach
"Do as your heart desires! Jump into your father's bosom!" - Kurosaki Isshin, Bleach
(To Yumichika) "Quit shakin' your ass; that's freakin' nasty." - Zaraki, Bleach
"We are all born originals, but so many of us die as copies." (I don't know who said this but I officially name them a hero.)
"I didn't know people actually read emails--the delete button is so conveniently located." - House, House
"I will prove to you with this move... that hard work surpasses genius." - Rock Lee, Naruto
"You idiot! There's always shadows wherever there's light!" - Zaraki, Bleach
"Why don't you show this young whippersnapper how it was done in the olden days?" - Yusuke
"People are able to try hard to move toward their goals in life...those who possess that will are the truly strong ones." - Hyuuga Neji, Naruto
"People can't defeat loneliness." - Sabaku no Gaara, Naruto
"When I was certain he was going to kill me, my mind went blank, and I didn't have any hope anymore. And the only thing I could do was scream my lungs out. I felt so helpless, I couldn't even bring myself to believe someone might save me. Then you showed up, Al. And I realized that if we don't take care of each other, then no one else will. So I'll do anything in my power to get our bodies back, even if it means being the military's lapdog. And we'll just have to hope our powers are good enough to help us rise above our own limits. Cause we're not gods. We're humans. Tiny, insignificant humans who couldn't even save a little girl." - Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist (I cried at this one...)
"Sanity? Sorry, but I don't remember having such a useless thing in the first place!" - Zaraki, Bleach
"Hey, what's life like without eyebrows, freak?" - Naruto (To Zabuza), Naruto
"Villagers shouldn't resort to violence..." rock thrown "Surely if you voice your grievances..." more rocks thrown "Damn you people." - Miroku, InuYasha
(about her gigai) "Darn those stupid engineers! They're all legs and boobs when it's muscle I need!" - Kuchiki Rukia, Bleach
"Major Sergeant Fuery, during your last physical examination we discovered a severe case of athletes foot... and we now believe that it is affecting your brain." - Hawkeye, Fullmetal Alchemist
"I see. So basically, you're a shinigami? And you came all the way from some place called Soul Society to vanquish evil spirits? Which means that monster earlier was one of those evil spirits? And it attacked that little girl? Okay, I belie-- NO WAY I'LL BELIEVE THAT, DUMBASS!" - Ichigo, Bleach
"Yeah, I want to save her. I'm morally bankrupt." - House, House MD
"If the demon is truly big, then we are no match for it. It's impossible, it's irrational. It's against my religion." - Miroku
It's easier to crush a dream than realize one, forming a bond is infinitely more difficult than breaking one. - Ichimaru Gin, Bleach
(Urahara writes Ichigo a message in blood) "Please meet at Urahara shop immediately." (After Ichigo freaked out) "P.S: If you look at this message and think that it is the message of a person before his death... then you have no sense of humor." - Urahara, Bleach
"That wasn't very nice...I do believe you killed my hat." - Urahara, Bleach
"Is this the part where I say who's there and something creepy happens?" - Spike, Angel
"So the butt bleed is just a nose bleed?" - Foreman, House MD
"Welcome to Earth." - Will Smith, Independence Day
"I once executed two people, two doctors. "There are no sides, just patients." That's what they said as they treated our fallen enemies in Ishbal. But the people they were healing would just rise up again to fight us. The military asked them to stop, but they wouldn't. And their makeshift hospital was becoming a den for insurgents. I got my orders in the morning, and I shot them that night. After that I tried to kill myself, but I was too much of a coward. So I took an oath instead: to never follow unreasonable commands again, to reach a position where I wouldn't have to follow them, and I stayed true to that. I'm not chasing you because I was commanded to. I'm doing it because I'm pissed. Now why the hell did you two run away without asking for my help first?!" -Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist
"Pay no attention to my friend... he's... you know... a special-ed ninja." - Sakura, Naruto
"Gojyo, remember that these monks of a very devout order." – Hakkai
"How did I pass? She beat me like I owed her money. " - Ichigo, Bleach
"I don't want to cause a lot of injuries unnecessarily. All those who don't like visiting the doctor should retreat now." - Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin
"No, you don't get it, that's why I'm telling you. You think you get it, which isn't the same as actually getting it. Get it?" - Kakashi, Naruto
"When we die, our bodies disintegrate and become part of the reishi that make up Soul Society. And when that time comes...where does your heart go? It gets passed on to your nakama (comrades). If you pass it on to them, then your heart will always live on within them. Kuchiki, that's why...you must never, ever, ever die alone." - Shiba Kaien, Bleach
"Well if it ain't my little buddy Benny. I think I'll kill you." - Rick O'Connell, The Mummy
"Never get between a man and his fiber." - Numb3rs
"I need a wise saying, what's a wise saying?" - Toad
"Backwards old bat." - Ed (muttered about Pinako. Both he and Al run out of the house with a multitude of automail parts thrown after them), Fullmetal Alchemist
"If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic." - House, House MD
"Sanzo, I believe that it’s time to put your animal and Hakkai’s animal in separate cages." – Gojyo, Saiyuki
"You know, for an intelligence officer, you're not very intelligent." - Zeva, NCIS
"Oh no, a ghost. Pfft. It takes a mite more to make me wet my knickers." - Spike, Angel
"Tell him 'fine, there's no way that I'm dying before you, you morally bankrupt Colonel with a God complex'." - Ed, Fullmetal Alchemist
"Old Ironside still kicks ass!!" - Fire Ice (Clive Cussler)
"I'm going to start wounding you now. I'm not sure when I'll stop." - Aeris, VG Cats
"I'm going to be sick now. Please make room." - Black Mage, Nuklear Power
"Piss off!!" - Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" - Jack Sparrow, Dead Man's Chest
"Behind this mask... is another mask! Pretty cool, huh?" - Kakashi, Naruto
"Stabbity death!!" - Black Mage, Nuklear Power
"Look, I'll kill the rat for you and give you the experience. It would have slaughtered you anyway." - Aeris
"For pony!" - Richard, Looking For Group
"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one." - House, House MD
"I am not a little pervert!" - Jiraiya
"My dad is going to kick your ass." - Alex O'Connell, The Mummy Returns
"What kind of monk is he?" - Sango
"There's something foul in the air."- Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist
"My favorite book is going to be a movie?! I better order tickets in advance!!" - Kakashi, Naruto
"Damn it, there are so many idiots whose asses I need to kick!! I'm going to have to start keeping a list just to keep track of them all!!" - Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist
"I never did like camels. Filthy buggers; they smell, they spit, they bite." - Johnathan, The Mummy
"Wherever there is hope, I will stop it! Where self-esteem rears its shiny head, I will be there to kick it in the testicles!!" - Christopher Titus
"I got lost on the road of life." - Kakashi, Naruto
“Shut up! If you can’t keep quiet, I’ll shoot you both right now!” – Sanzo, Saiyuki
"Are you alright, Brother?" - Al
"What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a rare and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had that flower in your hand?" - Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)
"Uh oh, train wreck. I want to look away, but I can't." - Tony DiNozo, NCIS
"Uh, Naruto, your speech was cool and all, but if you lose any more blood, you're going to die." - Kakashi, Naruto
“Listen here, you little blockhead! Let me remind you you’re flammable.” – Gojyo, Saiyuki
'For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return."-Leonardo Da Vinci
"Suicide is a way of telling God, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!"
"Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is free!"
"That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again."
"Don't play dumb with me, I'll always win."
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door..."
"Evening news is where they tell you 'good evening' then proceed to tell you why it isn't."
"Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them."
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"When your right, no one remembers, when your wrong, no one forgets."
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
"The blind are the ones that can truly see."
"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." - Isaac Asimov
"He learned what every man must learn...never insult a girl's looks, especially if said girl can kick your ass" - Me
"I died, but Heaven wouldn't let me in, and Hell was afraid I would take over."
"I'm not awesome, you just suck." - Me
"IT'S THE SUGAR TALKING, I SWEAR!" - Me
"A good piece of advice if you're sucked into a video game: if it moves, KILL IT!"
"You should stop talking, I don't think my attention span can take it."
"I'm trying really hard to care, does it show?"
"A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting right next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun!'"
"So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho
"Bite my shiny metal ass!""It doesn't look so shiny to me!""Shinier than yours, meatbag." - Bender, Futurama
"Had I not known that I was already dead, I would have mourned for my loss of life."
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"My god you're hot..." - Not sure
"Ladies and gentlemen, as I stand here before you, sitting behind you, I am here to tell you something I know nothing about. Next Wednsday, being last Friday, there'll be a lady's convention for men only. Admission is free, you pay at the door, pull up a chair, and sit on the floor."
"Dark one night in broad daylight, two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf police man heard the noise and came and killed those two dead boys. If you believe my lies are true, ask the blind man, he saw it too!"
"Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes; that way, when you insult them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."
"Go die." - Me
"Stupidity killed the cat, curiosity was framed."
"You know the trick to always winning? CHEAT!" - Me
"You shouldn't talk. It makes you sound stupid."
"When man discovered milk came from cows, what did he THINK he was doing?"
"Love your enemies; it really pisses them off!"
"I never said I was normal... you just presumed I was."
"If brute force doesn't solve your problem, you're not using enough..."
"The pen may be mightier, but the sword still hurts like hell."
"Life's a bowl of punch. Go ahead and spike it."
"You can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter!'"
"People say violence isn't the answer. Well, they're right. Violence is the question. The answer is 'HELL YES'."
"Our strength is often composed of the weaknesses that we're dammed if we are going to show."
"I felt like destroying something beautiful."
"I'm not actually here...this, is my after-image."
"Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something."
"Stupidity got us into this, why can't it get us out?"
"My psychiatrist says that I've lost my marbles, but what does he know? My marbles are in a plastic bag in my closet."
I found this too funny not to put on my profile. I hijacked it from someone else, though.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
Yes. There is a Chuck Norris section on meh profile. And it'll roundhouse kick you in the face if you've got a problem with it.
1. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plan with his finger by yelling "BANG!"
2. In fine print on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records, it notes that all records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
3. When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
4. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
5. Chuck Norris can murder the dead.
6. If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
7. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
8. Chuck Norris knows where the lost city of Atlantis is, because it sank when he roundhouse kicked it.
9. Jesus could walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
10. The devil only went down to Georgia because that's where he landed when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him out of hell.
11. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
12. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
13. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
14. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
15. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch; he decides what time it is.
16. A Chuck Norris-delivered roundhouse kick is the prefered method of execution in sixteen states.
17. Chuck Norris doesn't have to write books; the words assemble themselves out of fear.
18. While taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
19. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
20. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
21. When Chuck Norris jumps in the ocean, he doesn't get wet - the ocean gets Chuck Norris'd.
22. At the start of every summer, Chuck Norris begins practicing his roundhouse
23. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
24. Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder
25. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of
26. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
27. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
28. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
29. The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a
30. There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris ... Just kidding,
31. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
32. Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
33. Chuck Norris was once put on the wrapper for a toilet paper company, the
34. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
35. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today
36. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never
37. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of
38. Someone once challenged Chuck Norris to arm wrestle... that person is now
39. A man stopped Chuck Norris on the street and asked him what his favorite
40. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one
41. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into
42. When he is alone at night, Chuck Norris likes to wear slippers with bunnies
43. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
44. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden
45. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
46. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earheart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Okay, I just don't like flamers. Borrowing the phrase from Wandering Hitokiri, a flamer is "some idiot that wouldn't know the meaning of 'fanfiction' even if you hit him over the head with it". I think it fits very appropriately. I also have low tolerance of idiots, and decided to borrow Wandering Hitokiri's policy on flamers, as she is a wonderful author and I admire her greatly, along with Velf and B a y o - B a y o.
Anyways, here's her policy on flamers:
1. If you truly believe that my fanfiction has problems, then do me a favor and leave constructive critisism, not 'Oh my god, this fic totally f#ing sucks!' And that is not in invitation to use the 'f'' bomb every other word either. I know that I may not have the cleanest mouth around when it comes to some of my work, but I still try to refrain from using that word as much as possible. (Goes for me also.)
2. Calling me names will not help you at all. Neither will insulting my intelligence. I am an 'A' student in my Honors English class at school, and I frequently check my work for spelling and gramatical errors because of the fact that I am a bit anal about my spelling, and I have a fairly decent sense of grammar. And if you truly wish to be insulting and call me an 'inbred idiot' like one baka did to my friend, I will inform you right now that both my parents are not even remotely related to each other except through marriage. I also know how to curse you straight into hell in three languages, and am working on a fourth. (English, Gaelic, and Japanese. I'm learning Russian right now.) (I only know English, German, and I'm working on my Japanese.)
3. If you read this and still feel the desperate need to flame me, I will let you right now that I will have you blocked so fast that even your descendants 100 years in the future will suddenly have the sensation that they were thrown into the American 'Vomit Comit', they'll be so dizzy. I am not naive: I am perfectly aware of the fact that many of you nasty little buggers have more then one account, but I am more than willing to block you as many times as necessary. Hopefully, if I do it often enough, you'll eventually get whiplash and become too dizzy to go on the computer without getting sick, much less look at the screen long enough to send your petty insults. (I was laughing really hard when I read this part; It's so true!)
4. If I truly wished to be flamed, I would call Mustang a wet match while he was wearing his ignition-cloth gloves. Do me and the rest of the world a favor and just send me damned PM instead of a review; I'll be so much happier. (I love that one.)
Copy & Paste Stuff
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessive with all of your anime stuff ('if someone else touches it they die' obsessive) copy this into your profile.
If you have added the names Kratos, Gaara, Hiei, Hitsugaya, Naruto, Ichigo, Kurama, Hinata, ect. (any character of any anime/game/ect.) to your word dictionary because you were getting sick of seeing that stupid red squiggly line all over the place while writing fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you enjoy laughing at the pain or misfortune of others copy this into your profile.
If you have ever randomly walked up to someone off of the street that you didnt know and said something idiotic to them copy this into your profile.
The American Indians have a phrase they use to describe children who have an intimate knowledge of sorrow and grief. They say that the child has developed sky-eyes. Recently, my grandfather, who was all that I truly had, died from cancer. When I look in the mirror, I show a detached look, a distance in my gaze, as though my vision inclouded a portion of the sky. If you know more of the workings of the world than you'd like, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you laugh at your own jokes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like well-written Original Characters but hate Mary-Sues, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Arktos, Wandering Hitokiri, Dragon of Twilight
If you ever pimp slapped an annoying classmate, put this in your profile.
If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are NOT a homophobe and have some friends that are gay, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your mother ever reminisces about high school days and you have to plug your ears in order to drown out the meaningless blather, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your mother has ever really, truly, and honestly scared you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think your mother is the Wicked Witch of the West and/or are looking for a secret ritualistic sacrificial altar/torture chamber in your basement/parent's closet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've found horrifying things in your parents' closets or under their bed (i.e. sex toys, whips, PlayBoy magazines, leather kinks, etc.) and wish to every deity available that you'd never looked in there, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are convinced that you are the only sane one in your family but realize with a pang of sadness that the world is mad, and you included, and thereby are insane, but are secretly proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your mother is an erratic freak but you love her anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your honest-to-God worst fear is that of Furbies for a completely legitimate reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!--If you could read that put it in your profile.
Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Flamestar, Samishi Destiny, Silverstar's Shadow, Nintendo4ever, Darkangel24700, mandrakefunnyjuice, Dragon of Twilight
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!
If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects post this in your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If your dad gets a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this into your profile.
If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically copy this to your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, post this in your profile
If you have never watched Heroes, 24, The O.C., Grey's Anatomy, or any of that stuff, and are sickened by those who do, please copy & paste this into your profile.
Studies show that if Abercrombie released the fact that it wasn't cool to breathe, 92 percent of teenagers would die. If you're part of the other 8 percent who would be screaming with laughter, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile.
If ~Hail-NekoYasha is your favorite artist, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you fuckin' could, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If you enjoy things that ask you to copy and paste them into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a Nintendo fan to your very core, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the five percent that don't give a shit, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list! AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperacticely Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, Nayru Goddess of Wisdom, RoyalFanatic, Nintendo4ever, Dragon of Twilight
If you've read this ENTIRE profile and wasted about ten minutes reading what took me hours to put together, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't know when to shut up, paste this in your profile.
If you have a younger brother/sister/cousin that can beat you in a swearing contest, copy and paste this on to your profile and add your name to the list so I know I'm not the only one. Dragon of Twilight
If you've copied and pasted something twice without realizing it and had to go back and delete it later, copy and paste this into your profile.
|Community:||OC's Naruto Haven|