Poll: The End Is Near, but my question is the ORDER in which I should WRAP-UP my stories? The most votes will be finished 1st, then so on!...Grazie Homes! Vote Now!
Author has written 19 stories for One Tree Hill, and Vampire Diaries.
|Read This Damn Profile and you’ll find out, Homie! LOL!|
Name: BOND. JAMES BOND…
Que semi-homoerotic music!
Muhahaha! Actually, the name is Toddian ((Todd)) for short! Most people Call me Todd, My Friends call me Garri but my Family calls me Dave. Weird, I know. I’m a man of Many Names so call me whatever… which ever Melts your Hagen Daaz (Ice cream)! Ha, ha! Well as long as its not:
“That Rat Bastard” or “That Guido Douche Hawk…” or “Spaghetti and Meat Ball lookin -”
LOL… Or Pizone Pizza Face like My BOYS and I used to call this Mad Hideous Herpes Faced son of a bitch aka Seyton ‘googly eyes’ Sawhore- Wait, this isn’t where I talk about One Tree Hill!? Oooooops, LOL , Ha-ha, Nah… I’m just josh the lot of you! But if you couldn’t tell from the above offensive remarks, I am indeed Half Italian. My Mother, Gammy, Pop-Pop, Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, etc all are fluent in Italian … My Mother also Knows Spanish and French.
I on the other Hand jumped off the culture train after my first visit to Sicily when I was 6 and I leaned over the balcony of a very high hotel room! Ha-ha-ha, My mom had to crawl out and get me - SHES SCARED OF HEIGHTS. LOL! Anyway, I’m the Son of a Beautiful Sicilian and a Pastor…
((Which might account for my skeptism of religion))
100% Catholic here, Baby
The Story Goes… I’m the King of BRUCAS Smut around Here or so one of My Favorite Reviewers JESSE DAVIS DUBBED ME: The Reported King, Thanks to a Huge Rant I threw about how fucking suck ass One Tree Hill (lame ass TV show on the CrapWatch, I mean CW) is… My Rants were so fuckin’ True that some douche bag Narc, Ball-less piece of *Insert bad words* reported me. Me… Hahaha, it was awesome. I’m so Bad-ass that I got in trouble here…
Excuse my Kanye for a Minute ~Ugh*Cough*Ugh~ EGO GROWING
“UGH, HEAD ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS SO BIG!”
Age: 22 as of September :D Cheesers!
Sex? YES PLEASE! Hahaha, you knew it was cumming ß -- Hahahahaha!
No, I’m a dude - with semi-badass tendency.
I admit… I am a jerk, I’m spoiled, never had to work a day in my life until I turned Twenty One. I don’t fucking care about saving the world, dolphins, etc. I’m fucking Insane whenever I get pissed. I fight for what I believe in, Protect My friends no matter How wrong they are, and I am down for anything. ANYTHING, Including a 3 some - if I were single (LOL) ha-ha-ha! I always root for the misunderstood jerks!
And ~ I Like to Fuck… Yes, Fuck…
Pussy + Me = Steak & Potatoes, Toilet & Shit, Smackin Ass & a Lil John Joint!
For the Records, I am NOT nor will I ever be a writer. I write out of boredom, for fun or to have something to do, and even then it's usually off the top of my head. Mostly, I write to relieve the stress in my life...’Cause My Friends are Fuckin’ TWEAKED/CRAZY people!
My friends are righteous Nut jobs, who will do anything! Once we all had a cookout and tried to 'grill' fish. Needless to say it was raw and I chucked all over the place after eating it-Ha-ha. Or the time we were eating at RED LOBSTER and I tried to drink a shot of butter...Chucked all over the table too! It was gross!
And if they (Mi compadres) ever knew about my obsession with anything other than craziness, they could and would ROAST me! Yep, if they knew I was a writer, or rather liked writing, I would get tortured! I’m talking a serious ass kicking! I have two lives-a double life if you will- but I love this one the most though!
My BEST FRIENDS ALL PLAY SPORTS, all except me because I can’t be out in the sun very long. FUCK YOU, LUPUS… I’m a Sports Freak actually; I Love the Green Bay Packers or loved but I am mostly a Brett Farve Fan. Baseball has to be ATL BRAVES/ Bean Town Red Sox! I love the Oklahoma Sooners, though I live nowhere near Oklahoma! But watching them play is like listening to Mozart…A-FUCKING-Mazing, Kids!
Oh, I play Piano… blame it on the parents.
One Brother, two twins…
Tap (D) is My older Bro By like a few minutes … And I can still Kick his ass!
is My baby… My twin in spirit, etc. And Just Fuckin Hot… haha! (L)
TWINAGE FOR THE WINAGE!
Arianna (LIL BRO LOVES YOU BABY GURL)
Toddisms (As in things about me that are Mad screwy)
1. Extensive yet gnarly vocabulary :
Ex. Homies, Crunching, Nuggets, Wicked, etc AND EVERY CURSE WORD EVER CREATED! What can I say, I’m a product of my culture!
Favorite words/phrases ((FRICKIN AWESOME)) ((AWESOMETASTIC)) ((GOODY GOODY GUMDROPS))
2. Chicks & The ones I love to Fuck:
Love Smart/ Happy/Sarcastic Ladies… ((FUGS MUST DIE… ha-ha, not really but serious, ew!))
Oh yeah, chicks are the Sugar to my Kool-aid, the Ice to my cream (LOL)
3. The Sun is not my Friend - (He wants to kill me…GRRRRR!)…
4. I’ve been known to break out in song and dance without any music.
5. I do wear Abercrombie & Fitch, but I’d wear a trash bag and daisy-dukes if I wouldn’t get my ass kicked for it!
6. No longer sporting the Pussy Haircut… now I’m a man! LOL… with the curliest shit ever. Yes, I sporting the ponytail now… But if you think about it, I could pass for Megan Fox’s Younger, HOTTER, Brother - Muhahahaha!
7. Nobody puts Toddy in a corner…Yeah, that came out of nowhere!
8. No longer with Tandie. Got Mad Love for her though, forever. But My LOVE is Christina, I’m Gonna marry this girl!
9. Chris Explained to me that: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Is actually rhetorical and a joke that can not be answered.
10. I LOATHE scene kids… Little depressed fuck-turds! They give Emo Kids a bad name with all that crying! I’m not a prep, gangster, thug, jock, actor, or an emo (I’m just me…well I’m a douche-bag but we all know that!) Ha-ha!
11. I think Paris Hilton is ugly and so do all my buds………………………………...But I’d totally tap that! LOL! This still rings tru in 2010 though you can add that Lohan chick to this list too.
12. My biggest pet peeve is eating in the bathroom! I’m like, seriously dude, you just took a crap and now your in there inhaling fumes and eating invisible shit particles! No thanks Mr. McNasty McTasty Pants!
13. I would totally date Blanche from the Golden Girls! AWWWW…. She‘s DEAD… WHY, Cause she was old? Okay, fair enough! Hahaha! RIP (L)
14. I’m sweating in here like a monkey in a sweater.
Favorite Reviewers... Jennifer & Moonie! :D
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