Zed Tea
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Joined 07-03-07, id: 1315891
Author has written 4 stories for Evangelion, Harry Potter, and Mario.

"Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you are going to get."

Is it? I mean, I would have thought you would get, you know, a chocolate.

Maybe we should fix that statement.

"Life is like a box of chocolates: you should know what you are going to get, but, for some stupid reason, you don't."

Still, that isn't really true, don't you think? Let's try again:

"Life is like a box full of liquor filled chocolates: no matter what you get, you are going to get drunk if you eat too many."

Ugh, not quite yet... But how about this?

"Life is like something someone told you was a box of chocolates: it probably isn't, and chances are that you will get anything but a chocolate."

Yup, that's more like it.

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Where We Once Belonged by tahwekilelohcin reviews
WIP. ridiculously AU. Pansy's in danger and hero!Harry comes to her rescue. You know, maybe. Rated for swearing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 56,465 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 9/18/2014 - Published: 3/10/2006 - Harry P., Pansy P.
Playmate by Yunaine reviews
Gabrielle Delacour makes a spontaneous decision that changes her entire life. Unfortunately, the consequences are permanent. - Set during and after fourth year
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,683 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 433 - Follows: 125 - Published: 1/16/2014 - Gabrielle D. - Complete
Allure Immune Harry by Racke reviews
Harry had no idea why the boys in the Great Hall drooled over themselves as the students from Beuxbatons made their entrance, but he knew better than to let an opportunity slip. He hurriedly stole Ron's sandwich. It tasted gloriously.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,628 - Reviews: 418 - Favs: 4,584 - Follows: 1,082 - Published: 12/29/2012 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete
The Unedited Diary of a Crazed Muggleborn Bookworm by FaTcAtInAhAt reviews
I, Hermione Granger, am emotionally unstable. Uh, whatever that means. Includes an over imaginative Hermione, a homicidal Malfoy, and Book, a journal that bites back. Literally. Or so Hermione believes. NEW CHAPTER FINALLY UP!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,343 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 3/3/2012 - Published: 2/5/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Ice Princess by Luan Mao reviews
Building a romance from a fanon cliche turned on its head.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,488 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 1,459 - Follows: 318 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
When Harry Met Luna by KatieBell70 reviews
Harry and Luna tell the world how they fell in love told in the style of When Harry Met Sally
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,339 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Reprieve by Zennith6 reviews
At the brink of living and dying, in the moment before choosing either to return or to pass on forever, Harry Potter is given a moment away from it all by a mysterious red headed woman. One single moment, to simply lie back and just... breathe.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,424 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/8/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Yule Time by Perspicacity reviews
Augustus Rookwood, former Unspeakable, escapes capture at the Battle of Hogwarts. He develops a new form of time travel, which falls into the wrong hands and seals the fate of trillions of souls. Then, something remarkable happens.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,274 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 36 - Published: 12/23/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
A Mother In Law's Love by Perspicacity reviews
Distraught over Ginny's death in the final battle, Harry gambles desperately and travels back in time to set things right. Unfortunately, not everything goes as planned. A twist on the classic Soul Bond tale.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 43,613 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 261 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 11/5/2010 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W., Molly W., Voldemort - Complete
Unquenchable by filkertom reviews
Subtitle: Eternal Sunshine of the Hogwarts Mind. Harry and Hermione keep falling in love. Can Hermione's husband Ron stop them? R/Hr, H/Hr. Warnings: dark themes, ReallyScrewedUp!Ron, mind control, sex, language. Done for a 2005 H/Hr Fic Fest on LJ.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,359 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
insurgere by Silver Pard reviews
Hufflepuff is the house of the leftovers, the losers, the forgotten. Well, Tom Riddle thinks, it's time to change that.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,414 - Reviews: 379 - Favs: 2,254 - Follows: 311 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Forgetting Alone by Lady Aeryn reviews
Harry attempts to brood. Luna doesn't let him. Written pre-TDH.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,739 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/20/2010 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Contemplating Clouds by Tehan.au reviews
Apathetic Occlumency teacher twisting your mind out of shape? Never fear, there's a charming young girl in the year below to twist it back in the opposite direction. Just hope it doesn't snap.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,222 - Reviews: 473 - Favs: 1,432 - Follows: 1,551 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 10/28/2007 - Harry P., Luna L.
All The Dementors of Azkaban by LifeWriter reviews
AU PoA: When Luna Lovegood is condemned to Azkaban prison for her part in opening the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter is the first to protest. Minister Fudge is reluctant to comply, but then again he never really had a choice in the first place. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,603 - Reviews: 981 - Favs: 5,231 - Follows: 984 - Published: 9/12/2009 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Understand by Krahae reviews
Drabble, one shot. Magic made Harry what everyone expected him to be. Be careful what you wish for.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,569 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 24 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Rei's Take on Utilitarianism by ficlord reviews
This one is for those who were hoping for more philosophical Evangelion fan-fiction. Naughty and silly, but no pairings. The old teacher who rambles on about Second Impact plays a key role. Oneshot.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,248 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/13/2008 - Rei A. - Complete
Cauterize by Lady Altair reviews
"Of course it's missing something vital. That's the point." Dennis Creevey takes up his brother's camera after the war.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,648 - Reviews: 1271 - Favs: 4,851 - Follows: 384 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Dennis C. - Complete
MazinEva! by Adam Kadmon reviews
I guess I'm calling this a parody, since crap isn't a selectable genre yet. Evangelion as a more traditional giant robot story. You'll be surprised. By how bad it is.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 45,918 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 1/15/2008 - Published: 7/30/2007 - Shinji I.
Reign of Power by Fayr Warning reviews
PostOotP. The lines between Dark and Light have faded into Grey and Harry must learn to fight for himself...7th year and the war is breaking...Lords, Heirs, Vampires,werewolves, magic and more.No pairings.AU after HBP. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 29 - Words: 171,382 - Reviews: 3257 - Favs: 4,348 - Follows: 1,753 - Updated: 7/29/2007 - Published: 3/1/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
It’s All Relative on the Hellmouth by dellacouer reviews
Harry Potter finds a new relative in Sunnydale. PostVoldemort, Harry needs a distraction. Hope Uncle Rupert can help a powerful Harry before the power takes control. Complete.
Buffy X-overs - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 111,690 - Reviews: 1200 - Favs: 1,891 - Follows: 867 - Updated: 6/24/2007 - Published: 6/11/2006 - Complete
Everything About You by njhill22 reviews
This is the story of a very unlikely pairing in a love, hate…more hate relationship. This is a cynical look back on how it all began and the maddening realization of why it hasn’t ended. A Harry, Pansy pairing. Yes, I have undertaken the implausible.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,185 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 6/15/2007 - Published: 5/6/2006 - Harry P., Pansy P. - Complete
Lowercase by DSieya reviews
What the Harry Potter world would be like without CAPSLOCK!Harry. [oneshot]
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,357 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/10/2007 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
A flower in her hair by Bagge reviews
Lord Voldemort and Luna Lovegood find time to discuss a little philosophy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,347 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 408 - Follows: 44 - Published: 4/19/2007 - Luna L., Voldemort - Complete
Reach the Open Space by Tinn Tam reviews
After defeating Voldemort, Harry Potter was about to become the most adulated wizard in the History of Wizardkind. But he ruined it all. And he's damn proud of it. Mild violence. EDITED
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,987 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 792 - Follows: 174 - Published: 10/24/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
The Cubicle Adventures by Merridian reviews
Imagine an Evangelion universe without the biomechanical robots or entry plugs. Imagine if the biblical references didn't involve massive aliens. Imagine if everything was restricted to something even more confining than a plug suit: the cubicle.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 26,507 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 9/2/2006 - Published: 7/25/2006 - Shinji I. - Complete
Make A Wish by Rorschach's Blot reviews
Harry has learned the prophesy and he does not believe that a schoolboy can defeat Voldemort, so he decides that if he is going to die then he is first going to live.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 50 - Words: 187,589 - Reviews: 9739 - Favs: 12,828 - Follows: 3,697 - Updated: 6/17/2006 - Published: 3/23/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
HPParody by Shezza reviews
Here’s a Harry that… has normal male nightmares, wasn’t abused by his Uncle, can’t cook, hates being called ‘pup’, did NOT try to commit suicide, doesn’t stutter when Sirius is mentioned, sure as hell isn’t the Heir to the founders and Merlin, doesn’t ow
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,826 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 431 - Follows: 164 - Published: 5/21/2006 - Harry P.
Dimension Hopping for Beginners by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. In the heat of the battle, he swore a blood oath to defeat Voldemort in every form. But when you factor in his understanding and abilities to travel to alternate dimensions, it presented the sort of problem only a Harry Potter could have.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 56,035 - Reviews: 1045 - Favs: 2,415 - Follows: 754 - Updated: 3/13/2006 - Published: 3/4/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
A Sue's Story by Resourceful-Idiot reviews
They’re annoying. They’re parasitic. And now they’ve realised. Canon has never been in so much trouble. A full cast of Sues, Stus and triplepronged cutlery!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 86,893 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/21/2005 - Published: 4/10/2004 - Complete
Me, Myself, and I by EmySabath reviews
Harry has had a hard life, harder than anyone knows, even himself. What happens when Snape finds out that Harry's mind couldn't take the strain and fractured, leaving the BWL with MPD? PreHBP COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 65,691 - Reviews: 1536 - Favs: 2,406 - Follows: 511 - Updated: 8/5/2005 - Published: 2/15/2005 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Evil Be Thou My Good by Ruskbyte reviews
Nine years ago Vernon Dursley brought home a certain puzzle box. His nephew managed to open it, changing his destiny. Now, in the midst of Voldemort's second rise, Harry Potter has decided to recreate the Lament Configuration... and open it... again.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40,554 - Reviews: 1643 - Favs: 5,395 - Follows: 1,125 - Published: 6/24/2005 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Where in the World is Harry Potter? by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. PostOotP. Harry Potter fulfilled the prophecy and has since disappeared. Or has he? Tonks and Hermione are the lead Order members continuously hoping to track him down. The question is: can they keep up with him?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,625 - Reviews: 1053 - Favs: 3,026 - Follows: 697 - Updated: 4/30/2005 - Published: 4/16/2005 - Complete
Red Tears by Seamok reviews
Rei was suffering from low self-esteem after being constantly abused by Gendo. Shinji and Asuka found out but how could they help? A sad story about Rei's struggle and tragic life. (Complete)
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 125,403 - Reviews: 411 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/19/2005 - Published: 8/12/2004 - Complete
Just a Face On a Train by katheryne reviews
After rescuing a train from Doc Ock's attack, Peter Parker found himself unmasked and indebted to those he had just saved. 4 months later, a train passenger again crosses paths with the young hero. Based on events from SpiderMan 2.
Spider-Man - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,504 - Reviews: 530 - Favs: 2,401 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 3/24/2005 - Published: 10/13/2004 - Complete
Itsumo by Random1377 reviews
In honor of White Day, here is the last story of Shinji and Chidori. Enjoy.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,083 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/14/2005
The Art of Ass Kicking by Seak reviews
Crossover with Highlander. Buffy stumbles across a very, very bad man, err... immortal. Too bad his going to get his ass kicked. (One Shot)
Buffy X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,877 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/9/2005 - Complete
When Fanfic Characters Attack by citygirl1116 reviews
They're OOC! They're badly written! They're having lots of sex! A baffled Harry Potter encounters a terrifying evil...the fanfic versions of his friends.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,543 - Reviews: 514 - Favs: 563 - Follows: 74 - Published: 7/8/2004 - Harry P.
Please! Not While I'm In The Shower! by michelle-31a reviews
Harry and his friends receive an unexpected visitor...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,445 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 38 - Published: 7/1/2004 - Harry P., Luna L.
Lord Voldemort and the Internal Revenue Service by citygirl1116 reviews
In honor of April 15: Lord Voldemort encounters a force far darker and more evil than he could ever hope to be...income taxes.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 24 - Published: 4/14/2004 - Voldemort
Let She Who is Without Sin by Random1377 reviews
A killer is stalking NERV's employees, striking with brutal efficiency before fading away without a trace. As those around her fall, Misato must find and stop the person responsible before she loses those that matter most to her. Rated R for language an
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 24,295 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/24/2004 - Misato K. - Complete
The Evangelion Matrix by sentinel28 reviews
This is it...the final chapter! Will Shinji come into his own as the Third Child? Will Asuka confess her deepest secret to Shinji? Will Gendo sacrifice Shinji? Will Scout Moon figure out who Tuxedo Mask is? Thanks for sticking with meR&R if ya want.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 48,066 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/8/2004 - Published: 6/1/2003 - Complete
Luna's Year by michelle-31a reviews
Harry and his friends gradually discover a growing friendship with a certain
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 172,931 - Reviews: 513 - Favs: 409 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 1/4/2004 - Published: 8/30/2003 - Luna L., Harry P.
Choose Life by Verbl Kint 187 reviews
Rei based story on self discovery and life. Some angst, just a little bit of romance and some killing.
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 42,962 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/3/2003 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Voldemort, King of Koopas reviews
A strange, little, slight, unusual crossover. Enjoy! Warning: Fire breath not included. Batteries sold separately.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Mario - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 962 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Voldemort - Complete
Final Battle, Pokemon Style reviews
Wild VOLDEMORT has appeared! Go, HARRY!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,148 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 19 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Battle Scene reviews
A possible outcome of Asuka's last stand.
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,713 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/7/2007 - Asuka L. S. - Complete
Cruel reviews
No matter the circumstances, there is always a way to defeat an angel.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,006 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/7/2007 - Gendo I., Ritsuko A. - Complete