Olfactory-Ventriloquism
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Joined 07-06-07, id: 1318791, Profile Updated: 09-23-12
Author has written 15 stories for Doctor Who, In Plain Sight, Mentalist, and Necessary Roughness.

Hello. This is Eunice, the official O-V alter ego.

...Yes, she does indeed have an alter ego. She is also very insane.

Seriously. I wouldn't want to cross this one's path in a dark alley.

Cause that would be the wrong f-in' alley, I tell you what. She's more likely to cook you in a pie than look at you.

Anyway, I have to hurry, because she could regain control of her body at any moment, and then if this isn't saved, all my life's work is for naught.

My life's work, by the by, is not to write profiles. It is to warn you of the most heinous organization of our time, and it's conspiracy to over throw the earth with horrifying plot-like things.

Such as aliens and food poisoning.

And we are talking about, not teletubbies... but the CIA. Yes. I know. I'm just saying what everyone is thinking.

So please, continue to read stories posted by the crazy person who shares MY body; I'll do my best to give you clues and warnings, such as what to do when abducted (their left collarbones are weakest, located where most people have spleens, and whatever you think, there are NO exit door procedures in zero gravity), and what restraunts to avoid. Sometimes it's not the restaurant, but the dish. For instance, never EVER eat clam chowder or lobster bisque in ANY hemisphere.

Anyway. But feel free to stop reviewing kindly. Because this one is always using all the hot water, and changing my programmed channels on the car radio. She must be stopped.

This message will self-destruct in exactly a hundred and seventeen seconds.

Anyone who presses the "do not push" BIG RED BUTTON, will be cut in half by hidden laser guns.

Copy, Swiftwingfreedomwarriorcoolesteverperson. Over and out.

-Eunice

P.S. For further messages from Eunice, check out Never Quite Normal, a joint venture between O-V and Jessa L'Rynn over on Jessa's profile.

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Word Play by tromana reviews
A drabble a day keeps the doctor away. Uh, maybe not, actually. But it'll hopefully be a lot of fun. Jane/Lisbon, mostly.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 37 - Words: 5,643 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 12/2/2013 - Published: 1/28/2013 - Teresa L., Patrick J.
West of the Moon, East of the Sun by KnifeEdge reviews
Every night it's the same dream: a dark room, a big bed, and a silent vampire I can't see... Set in an AU Season 5 with no Glory or Dawn B/S. Rating has gone up.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 76 - Words: 376,650 - Reviews: 1526 - Favs: 923 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 9/29/2010 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Buffy S., Spike - Complete
The Writing on the Wall by Holly4 reviews
Spike embarks on a journey through the Gates of Hell to rescue the one he loves, but in order to save her, he must risk losing himself.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 36 - Words: 143,342 - Reviews: 425 - Favs: 296 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 6/6/2010 - Published: 10/5/2008 - Spike, Buffy S. - Complete
I Miss My Mind the Most by OctoberProject reviews
The Doctor and Rose stop in to drop off a Bezulium and do laundry. There, they find out that Jackie is seeing ghosts. More specifically, she's seeing the ghost of Uncle Mortimer, whose house in Wales she's inherited. Pre-Doomsday AU.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 65,797 - Reviews: 296 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Rose T., Jackie T. - Complete
My Fine Feathered Friend by Lixxle reviews
A tale about a gender-confused, fashion-conscious goblin, a chicken of destiny, and leather pants. Oh and a good dash of ol' fashioned romance and some adult-type touching thrown in for good measure. JS. Not a crackfic, just a really caffeinated author...
Labyrinth - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 86,205 - Reviews: 952 - Favs: 1,214 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 5/10/2008 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Complete
Kallisti by Jessa L'Rynn reviews
The Doctor assures her this is the weirdest planet they will ever set foot on. A truer statement has never been made, as Rose soon finds out. The triplicated terror, manifestations of chaos, a smug and giggling TARDIS, and much more!
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 61,308 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 594 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 12/5/2007 - Published: 9/13/2007 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dallas and Freedom reviews
A drabble for the end of 3x07 "Bringing the Heat". Nico/Dani
Necessary Roughness - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/2/2013 - Dani S., Nico C. - Complete
Help reviews
5x11 tag. drabble.
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/7/2013 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
On Paper reviews
What if Rose got stuck in that drawing with the Doctor? Spoilers: Fear Her
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,642 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/6/2012 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Red Police Lights reviews
Episode Tag to 4x13. What's the real reason Jane is so afraid of others knowing that he didn't kill Red John?
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 546 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/3/2012 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Remembrance reviews
Missing scene from end of Fugue in Red. Lisbon helps Jane with the return of his memories. This is not overtly romantic, as the show has always played down that aspect, but the undercurrents are there.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 565 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/12/2012 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Painting My Moon reviews
A Painting induces the Doctor to take Rose somewhere he's wanted to take her for some time, now, Barcelona.This story was written for the fabulous Wiggiemomsi who purchased me in SSA.
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,788 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/2/2011 - 9th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
close enough reviews
Drabble. Sort of spoilers for "Death Becomes Her". Ultimately M/M.
In Plain Sight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/10/2010 - Marshall M., Mary S. - Complete
Goodbye Kiss reviews
Barely more than a double drabble. Written for cassandra2012 for bidding on me at SSA. Her prompt: Rose's thoughts when the Doctor left her with the human doctor at the end of Journey's End.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 259 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 3/31/2010 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Xenonymphomania reviews
Every one has a different definition of "insanity", and truly crazy things can happen when those ideas collide with the Doctor's party.
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,893 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/13/2010 - 9th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Sin reviews
A visit to Napoleon's coronation, an alien doomsday device, and a holier-than-thou nun make for a great time for our favorite duo.
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,890 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 12/28/2009 - Published: 7/23/2009 - 9th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Proof reviews
For Jessa L'Rynn's b-day. Post Idiot's Lantern. The Doctor's fear for Rose's safety has become debilitating, and he won't look at her for fear that he never saved her from the Wire, that her return to him was a dream. Rose decides to prove she's herself.
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,915 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 5/19/2009 - Published: 2/25/2009 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
All's Fair reviews
Response to Jessa L'Rynn's first M-Rated challenge. Parks with grass are so much more wonderful than houses with curtains. At least if you experience them the way Rose does. This is how I would say New Earth should've happened if I didn't love sambas.
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,223 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/2/2009 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Criminal Matchmaking reviews
The Doctor and Rose have a "real vacation"...on Elba. But this place seems to be wreaking havoc on Rose's emotional control. 10/Rose
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,457 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/27/2008 - Published: 3/15/2008 - Complete
Manly Hands reviews
How Fear Her should have ended. The Doctor decides to ignore his fears of the future and instead focus on what is possible in the present
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,087 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/26/2008 - Complete
No Message From the World Beyond reviews
Queen Victoria says the real point of a ghost story is the hope of a message from the world beyond, which could also be called the grave, or Hell. Rose is even further than that. The Doctor's musings on this. Oneshot
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,275 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Complete