Name: Ascended Angel

Age: between 13-30

Gender: Sorry not tellin

likes: Chocolate, reading, writing , Science, steak, chicken (any meat really), sushi, flowers

Dislikes: spanish 3, math, spelling, being told what to do, flames,

Fav book series: Twilight, Imortals, Protector of the small, the circle opens, bloody jack, song of the lioness, trickster's choice, Beka Cooper, Harry Potter, House of Night

Fav music: any county with the exception of big and rich (they are just not good, i mean save a horse ride a cowboy? come on), Celtic woman

Fav saying: "This could end badly"

Theme Song: Everyday America by Sugerland

Poem: My Gaurdian Angel (You probably haven't heard of it, i wrote it :)

If you are a Book Worm like me paste this into your profile. :)

if you think some people must be on suger highs when they write their stories paste this into your profile.

If you are the tyoe pf perosn who gets in trouble in class for reading while the teacher is talking copy and paste this and add your name. Queen of Atlantis.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele

If you think the semi-colon is completely usless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Queen of Atlantis

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

News from the file marked "DUH"

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend laughs at you and trips you again.

They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelley BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people. Do you?

Whoever said "Nothing is impossible" has obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.

You're happy, I'm happy, you cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Smile! It's the second best thing you can do with your lips...

Why do we say something is out of whack? What IS whack?

"When you say I am mean, when did I ever say I was Nice?" -

"I am weird, I am proud, and it is one of my best qualities." -

"Come to The Dark Side, we have Coookies..." - unknown.

"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright.

Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with experience

Top 10 funny store signs
1.Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
2.Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
3.On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left."
a veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay!"
the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t you will be."
6.On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."
a restaurant window: "Don’t stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
8.Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we’ll wait."
a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.

Bumper stickers seen in Michigan ...
IF YOU CAN’T FEED EM, DON’T BREED EM!Constipated People Don’t Give A Crap. If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger. The Earth Is Full - Go Home. I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. Illiterate? Write For Help. Honk If Anything Falls Off. Cover Me, I’m Changing Lanes. He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost, But is Miles From The Next Exit. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. Fight Crime: Shoot Back! (The following bumper sticker was Seen Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde. Heart Attacks: God’s Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost? All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets. POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON

TWILIGHT QUOTES!

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.

Copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts from Edward Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile

Actual Bumper Stickers
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Cover me. I’m changing lanes.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather - not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

I like you, but I wouldn’t want to see you working with subatomic particles.

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.

Bad Cop! No donut!

Actual Warning Labels
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On a fireplace lighter.

"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

"For a limited time only." -- From a Rally’s commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.

"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.Murphy's laws:

1. Anything that can go wrong, will.

2. You will always find what you are looking for in the last place you look.

3. No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, it will always go on sale after you've bought it.

4. The other line always moves faster.

5. In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.

6. Anything you try to fix will cost more than buying a new one..

7. If you fool around with a thing for very long, you will mess it up.

8. If it don't fit, force it - if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

9. When a broken appliance is demonstrated for a repairman, it will always work perfectly.

10. Build a system even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

11. Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

12. In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence and remains there.

13. There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.

14. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

15. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

16. Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.

17. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

18. A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

19. In a case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

20. Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

Things we know because of TV
Things we know because of TV!

- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade...at any time of the year.

- All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French bread.

- The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a pretty nurse cleans his wounds.

- When paying for a taxi, never look at your money. Just pull out a bill or two and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

- If a killer is lurking in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath even if it’s the middle of the afternoon.

- All single women have a cat.

- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the
steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one.

- When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

- Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.

- No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

- If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.

- It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

- Revolvers will fire at least ten or fifteen times without reloading.

- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps and join in with you.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.

2. The future is not set in stone.

3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.

4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.

5. True love knows no boundaries.

6. Some people are just danger magnets.

7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.

8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!

9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.

11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.

13. Family is about more than just blood.

14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.

15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.

16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.

17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

18. There are exceptions to every rule.

19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.

20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.

21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.

22. Cold hands = Warm heart.

23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.

24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.

25. Romeo was an idiot.

26. Twilight is the saddest and saefest time of day.

27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.

28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.

29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is downloading all of Twilight and New Moon off the books on C.D. from the library, and listening to them over and over again. Crazy is when you don’t say a thing about yourself in your fan fiction bio but instead yell random things that make you late. Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends. Crazy is when you make random Twilight references and you see Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse related things and point it out to your friends and they tell you to shut up and you’re crazy. Crazy is when you rather read then eat. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Twilight Quotes

I'd never given much thought to how I would die--though I'd had reason enough in the last few months--but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this."
-- Bella

'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,' he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
'What a stupid lamb,' I sighed.
'What a sick, masochistic lion.'"

'Please tell me just one little theory.' His eyes still smoldered at me.
'Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?' Was he a hypnotist, too? Or was I just a hopeless pushover?
'That's not very creative," he scoffed.
'I'm sorry, that's all I've got,' I said, miffed.
'You're not even close,' he teased.
'No spiders?'
'Nope.'
'And no radioactivity?'
'None.'
'Dang,' I sighed.
'Kryptonite doesn't bother me either,' he chuckled."
-- Edward and Bella

I'm betting on Alice."
-- Bella

NEW MOON QUOTES

'Bears don't want to eat people. We don't taste that good.' He grinned at me in the dark cab. 'Of course, you might be an exception. I bet you'd taste good.'
'Thanks so much,' I said, looking away. He wasn't the first person to tell me that."
-- Jacob and Bella

"Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you.
I'd been broken beyond repair."
-- Bella

ECLIPSE QUOTES

And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche."
— Alice Cullen

"I prefer brunettes."
— Edward Cullen

"I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial."
— Jacob Black

I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun with you around."
— Emmett Cullen

Fall down again, Bella?"
— Emmett Cullen

"I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object."
— Edward Cullen

Links to fav music videos

Somday by Chloe

Perfect by Sara Evens

Our Song by Taylor Swift

Teardrops on my Guitar by Taylor Swift

Grand Ole Opry Twilight Style!

Bella's Boots

Bella's shirt

Rose's shoes

Rose's dress

Emily's Dress

Emily's Shoes

For Better or For Worse

Bella's first wedding dress

Bella's second wedding dress

Alice's first bride's maid dress

Alice's second Bridesmaid dress

Rose's first bridesmaid dress

Rose's second bridesmaid dress

Star Crossed Lovers

Chapter 1

Adrien's Dress

Adrien's Shoes

Aeron's top

Aeron's Skirt

Aeron's Boots

The Bug named Werewolf

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. 'What should Tai say if he woke up and saw he was in Sora's body...?')

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.