Magnificent Sasquatch
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 07-12-07, id: 1324149, Profile Updated: 10-09-11
Author has written 1 story for Touhou Project.

Greetings, greetings, boys and girls, I am the Magnificent Sasquatch, come to you to provide laughter and merriment utilizing the stardom of popular video game characters so that all might know just where my insanities lie. Er, priorities. Disregard that last one.


What can we say about the Sasquatch, magnificent fellow that he is? Well, for starters, if this alias is not enough name for you, then tough Twinkies - and tough Twinkies taste just terrible. Only my bestest-best buddies will even get a clue as to what it reads on my ID card.

...What? D'oh, fine, I'll give you more to work with. I'm an eighteen year old fellow who stands a little over six feet tall. I live smack-dab in the middle of Someplace, Somewhere.

My birthday falls on the day after the U.S.'s festive summer firework celebration, so to all you lovely viewers out there, get ready to buy me something nice. ...I'm not joking. Get to the mall.

I'm a gamer, love 'em to death. Specifically, I'm more of a Nintendo gamer than anything else. I love the Mario series, the Zelda games, and them Metroid adventures - but my favorite of all is that which combines them, Smash Bros. "Oh, but those are kiddie games", you say? Tell that to the death of Crocomire. And Bowser in NSMB.

Secondary series include the likes of Touhou, Sonic, and Persona. Touhou's addictively difficult, Persona's charming in every facet, and Sonic's just good fun overall.


My current tale in the works is the Touhou Project fanfiction, "Average Joe in Bullet Hell". If you've the time, go check it out! I do my gosh-darned hardest not to disappoint.

Oh-ho-ho, I am a writing GENIUS if I do say so myself! ...Sadly, I don't say so. Perhaps you do! Approve, disapprove, have advice, have some props to give, or if you have some other reason for contacting me, I love to receive PMs and reviews, just so I know what to tweak or modify.

This is the Magnificent Sasquatch, signing off! Godspeed, readers!

Personal Guidelines

This is how I work in terms of dealing with the stories and/or contact of and with others. Any confusion you have about how I operate, just head on down here!

Reviews: Reviews are nice, right? Everybody likes them, everybody wants them. And, when you receive one, you get used to the idea and expect another. That's just basic human nature. Now, if I give you a review, it means I saw and liked your story. I'm not going to just send out props or tips for any random thing, y'know? It's got to click with me on some level, the author has to show some care for the story. If I've given you one, chances are I'll be checking up on the fic's progress periodically. If it lands in my favorites, it means that, reviews or not, I'm reading you work because I just find it to be that good. For longer stories, I'll probably send a new review every two-to-three chapters, depending on how much I'm liking where you're going, and if there's even anything I can say that the chapter deserves.

--Requests: If you have a story you'd like me to check out, just send me a PM and I'll find it from your Account page. I'm no beta reader, but if you feel it deserves reading, I'll give it the old try!

PMs: Even nicer than reviews is when somebody contacts you directly - it feels like you really had an impact on them, like you're not just another author name in the site's endless archives. That being said, any questions regarding my stories that are too specific for a review, go ahead and message me! If there's something I'm missing or there's an aspect of my writing that is stronger than others, I'd be glad to know! If you are a budding author looking for advice, my one request is this: be sure you think I'm the guy to ask before sending me a message. I can tell you right now, my abilities pale in comparison to some of the minds who grace this site with their talent. Still, if I'm the one you're going to, I'll help to the best of what I know, count on that!

Favorites: Favorite stories mean I like one of your works too much to accidentally lose track of it in the archives. Favoriting authors mean that they've done so many things well that I can't pick and choose. Other conditions for favoriting authors means that either I felt that this person is someone I'd like to recognize as a peer, someone on my level, or an author who I want to be able to match in the future. All are good! Remember: if you'd like me to check something out, my inbox is open for you!


"Average Joe in Bullet Hell"

Name: Ryan Randa

Age: 19

Quote: "I'm trying to be a gentleman. Don't make my job any harder than it needs to be, okay?"

Physical: Medium build, 6'1, auburn hair, thin auburn beard, blue eyes

Mental: Excessively sarcastic, meme-spouting, idealistic/do-gooder, highly analytical

Powers: Energy Conversion and Absorption, Power Assimilation

Weapons: Handgun, Sword

Bio: Ryan Randa is a middle-class citizen of Tucson, Arizona, until Yukari Yakumo whisks him away for a new life in Gensokyo. His physical abilities are moderate, not anything to brag about, but his true talent lies within his mind. In the scatterbrained community that is Gensokyo, Ryan only appears to blend in - he thinks at a much higher level than the common human or youkai, and considers many factors they do not. He is very friendly to humans and youkai alike, until they have given him a reason not to. He has a firm loyalty to those who would treat him right, and will stand by them until there's heavy evidence that they're not to be trusted.

Currently, his only ties are to Cirno, Reimu, Meiling, Yukari, and Utsuho. Reimu was Ryan's first friend in Gensokyo, and though they argue time and again, they agree for the most part. Cirno is Ryan's self-proclaimed rival, and as Gensokyo's strongest fairy she feels the need to shoot down the newcomer human. Meiling is his best friend in Gensokyo so far, seeing him as a "fellow warrior" - every time they meet, they get into a minor could actually call her Ryan's genuine rival. Yukari is Ryan's self-appointed guardian, having brought him to her land for unknown reasons - however, in spite of this, she's proven to Ryan that, until something changes, he can trust her with his life, if need be. Utsuho is the only person Ryan can relate to on a deeper level, as her power is akin to his own. The two have formed a "Tag-Team Spell Card" after combining their powers: Heaven and Hell's Fusion "Unified Universe". Thus far, it is easily the most powerful attack either of them have yet to use anywhere, and only Commander Iza has been subject to it's might.

Name: Chino

Age: ??? (Appears roughly 14)

Quote: "None can hope to best Chino, the elite soldier of the hollowed-*blasted*"

Physical: Stands around 5'3, wears a loose plate armor on his upper body, brown slacks, a thick red cloak, and iron boots

Mental: Appears very prideful and arrogant as a norm, but will quickly become timid and cowardly in the face of immediate danger

Powers: N/A (?)

Weapons: Two large, feather-shaped daggers (Has also been seen carrying around a ruby that can be used for distant communication)

Bio: Chino is a sparrow youkai, and an incapable one at that. Thus far, his blunders include a failed recruitment of Utsuho Reiuji, and a disastrous try at infiltrating the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Shortly after being captured, however, he disappeared...

None can say if his "elite" standing is of his own accord, or...that of someone else...


Name: Iza

Age: ??? (At least two centuries old)

Quote: "Go ahead, get in my way. Give me an excuse to gut you."

Physical: Stands at 6'3, wears a metal visor, shoulder guards, and chest armor; as well as gauntlets and iron shoes. Has black hair and feathers, as well as two wings she keeps folded most of the time. Though one eye of hers is constantly hidden, her other eye shows the color to be an emerald green.

Mental: Extremely cunning and cruel, she's willing to put a dozen innocent lives at risk to get what she wants. Also is noted to be highly emotionally unstable, usually bursting into murderous fits of rage if not calm. She has shown a tendency to be obsessive when it comes to allies and enemies alike.

Weapons: A row of razor-sharp feathers that protrude from each arm, which are durable enough to counter swords and clubs. She has an emerald communications gem which allows her to listen in on all others.

Bio: Iza is apparently the second Commander of Sasa Sanctuary's War Sanctum, after the first was killed by a joint effort of the previous tactician and Ran Yakumo. She has displayed traits that the previous Commander apparently had, such as sadism and prejudice towards other youkai and humans. She has been known to use convenient excuses to hurt others on a whim, such as beating on her own troops under the guise of training sessions. For whatever reason, however, she seems somewhat infatuated and definitely obsessed with Chino--an extreme oddity, given the latter's incompetent behavior and overall cowardice. After he was beaten by Utsuho twice and Ryan was revealed to have taken up Ran's old sword, she wants nothing more than to destroy them on every conceivable level...


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Tales of the Almost Pirates by WillieG.R reviews
*Sukima Series Spin-off* Join Captain Murasa, Chiyuri and Yuyuko as they mess around the skies for dominance. Random events will leave all dumbfounded. Will this end well? Yes, but that doesn't mean we can't have some fun at their expense. SDM added
Touhou Project - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 224,897 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/21/2016 - Published: 12/16/2010 - M. Murasa, Chiyuri K.
Keys to the Heart by Wrathkal reviews
An OC finds himself in Gensokyo courtesy of Yukari, and decides to make the most of it. Can he survive and grow stronger despite being just a normal human? Rated M for violence and content. Note: MAINLY the latter. Slow updates!
Touhou Project - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 59 - Words: 424,871 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 332 - Updated: 11/30/2014 - Published: 4/19/2011
Touhou Chronicles by Etherdrone reviews
A newcomer arrives at Gensokyo after a great battle. Damaged, with low reserves of power, he tries to find his place within this strange, new world he has been introduced to. Please comment/review.
Touhou Project - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 50 - Words: 423,809 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 5/11/2014 - Published: 6/12/2010
Tracing Death by Lazruth reviews
I never really expected much of myself. I never thought I'd one day find myself stranded in a world far from my own. Or that I would be able to reap lives like some dark angel. Not once did I even consider pledging myself to a divine being and slipping into the world of wetwork. But that's the cards I've been dealt. That's my life now. The dagger of a Yama, whether I like it or not
Touhou Project - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 32,568 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 2/5/2013 - Published: 11/2/2011 - Eiki S., Momiji I.
Unparalleled Ayakashi Incident by Xavic reviews
A centuries-old evil is stirring, and Yukari is worried about the poison it's beginning to spread. When a teenager with no memory is thrust onto the front lines, how will he fight it? Self-insert. Starts unrelated, then picks up speed. Nitori/OC.
Touhou Project - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 181,313 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 10/9/2011 - Published: 12/9/2010
Average Joe in Bullet Hell reviews
Follow the misadventures of a shameless semi-self-insert as he attempts to make heads or tails of this new crazy world and its even crazier inhabitants! There is fantabulous adventure to be had!
Touhou Project - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 181,601 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 364 - Follows: 338 - Updated: 5/13/2012 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Utsuho R.
Lazruth (5)
Xavic (2)