Author has written 49 stories for Bible, Misc. Books, Torchwood, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Merlin, X-Men: The Movie, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Vampire Diaries, Hunger Games, Avatar: Last Airbender, Sherlock, Sorcerer's Apprentice, 2010, Forbidden Kingdom, Avengers, Les Miserables, Dresden Files, Highlander, Thor, and Radio Dramas.
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1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Con is the opposite of pro, so Congress the opposite of progress.
Don't upset me - I'm running out of places to put the bodies.
"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.
I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
Caution! Blonde thinking.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
Simplicity killed the cat--Curiosity was framed.
A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
No Trespassers! Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again.
Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!!
The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
I didn't say it was your fault, I just said I was going to blame you!
Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!
Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and you LOSE that it's weird.
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.
Have you ever heard that stupidity is a virus? Careful you might catch it! Ahh, too late...
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
Perfection is a waste of time.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
Heaven doesn't wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
I hear your silence loud and clear
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. No offence to anyone!
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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