Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter.
A belated Happy New Year to you all! And, yes, I know, I have not updated since ages. But, ah well.
I just decided to write this because I just found something weird on Google:
LUCIUS (Malfoy) actually means LIGHT.
Hello, everyone! Here is my personalised version of Jingle Bells. Enjoy.
Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg.
Batman ate the Evil Clowns
And they all went back to bed, oh!
Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg.
Batman ate the Evil Clowns
And they all went back to bed.
Dashing through the snow,
On a pair of broken skis,
Over the hills we go,
Bashing into trees.
The snow is turning red,
I think I am almost dead,
And now I am in hospital
With stitches in my head, oh!
Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg,
Batman ate the Evil Clowns,
And they all went back to bed!
So ... Merry Chrismas and a Happy New Year!
I got my first Flamer! Their name was Nefar. She/he Flamed Titillanda Darkstar. They Flamed me saying:
From your summary,
And what if Harry Potter was not the Prophecied Child ... but Titillanda?
Your story has no life. Seriously.
Now, as much as I hate embarassing people, I just have to say this: JE NE SOIGNE PAS QUE VOUS PENSEZ! And if you did not understand it, then go translate it on some crappy website.
My name is Aphrodite V. L’amour. You can call me whatever you like in reviews (that is if I ever get any!), but I prefer Dytee. My profile picture is me. You can see me there. Also, RKickAss was the first one to guess that my middle name is indeed Venus. Like I said to him, I think my mum was drunk when she named me.
I live in England (I am English! Do not say British) – I am, however, half-French. Hence the name “L’amour”. I am fluent in both languages, but living in England, I use English more.
I am fifteen years old. I have to take my GCSE’s. Yeah, I have a late birthday (and I am not going to tell you what it is, stupid phedophiles!), so I’m about a year younger than the rest of Year 11 – gah.
I have one pet – a cat called Kinka. He broke his tail when he was young and it never healed properly, leaving a “kink” in his tail, like a question mark. Hence the name “Kinka”.
I wanted my pen name to be “Tears of Blood”, but someone got there well before me, so … c’est la vie (that means “that’s life”). And in case anyone asks, yes, I was called -fEiStY.GrL- and then I was Kinka4eva. Keyword being “was”.
OK, so I’ve changed my pen name (again) to “Death by Feathers”, because it came up in conversation yesterday ... and I liked it ... so I’m not “Open mouth. Insert foot.” any more. Waa. I liked that name … but I like my new one more …
OK. I’m deleting all my stories as I think they suck – no exceptions, it’s true – and I’m starting a new series soon – hopefully not as sucky as my last lot!
New Stories …
12th October, 2007 – Titillanda Darkstar: Okay, this I’ve been writing for a while; it’s all about this girl who was adopted by gypsies and lives happily ever after ... until (there has always got to be an “until”) the war starts spilling over the edges of the Wizarding World.
OK, Dead Paw has informed me that saying gypsies is offending. I was going to say caravaners but it would not fit in the summary. It came out as Carava and then was cut off. Sorry to anyone who I did offend. I will edit it out when I have finished the story.
14th October, 2007 – Voldemort the Djinni: AU. HBP did not happen. Dear old Voldie gets transformed into a Djinni by Harry, Ron and Hermione. Yay! Wishes anyone?
Djinni means genie, in case anyone wondered.
Right, I think this one is going on hold, because I have kind of got a block where this one is concerened. It is not abandoned, I just need to think of where to start from here.
30th October, 2007 – The Two Defence Teachers: Draco Malfoy and his girlfriend Kiki River Slytherin get sent back in time … when to? Why the Marauder Era, of course! And who better to teach Defence but two battle scarred teenagers who landed there by accident?
Yes, Kiki is the heir of Slytherin; am I not great? I like Kiki, she is MINE!
Has anyone got any prank ideas? I cannot think of any. This one might take a while.
I am working on all of my stories, but I have school now, and I have just got this assignment from my English Lit. teacher; I have to, like, write a book on what I thought of a book (i.e. not much).
I don’t want a beta; however, if you spot a mistake in my grammar or spelling, do feel free to point it out. I would prefer it if you criticized (spelt like that?) my work so that I can correct it immediately.
Also, I’d like to offer Beta-ing (is that even a word?) services to anyone and everyone. I’d prefer to beta Harry Potter, but I can do other stuff as well.
Spelling and Grammar:
I LOVE PROPER SPELLING AND GRAMMAR! IT MAKES STORIES SO MUCH EASIER TO READ!
I have noticed that in some stories, people mix up “To” and “Too”. I know that you can accidentally miss off an “O” from the end now and again, but really, every bloody time?
Examples: “I am going to the shop.” and: “I think I’ll go, too.”
However, don’t mix up that last one with: “I think I’ll go to the shop.”
It is NOT: “I am going too the shop.” or: “This is going to far!”
Think of “to” as if it’s said “tuh”, so it’s like, “I am going tuh the shops now.”
As I’m half- French, I speak with a ‘bit off aye accent’, as my friends say. (More like “mimic”, I suppose), and so I accidentally say “tuh”, I do try to prevent it but sometimes ... yeah, you can’t.
My Favourite stuff.
Draco Malfoy: What can I say? He’s hot. (Drool-Tom-Felton-drool). I am in love with Tom Felton: accept it, it is a well-known fact among my group of friends.
Dumbledore: Only Manipulative! Dumbledore though ... Manipulative!Dumbles is fun!
Voldemort: I have a ‘bad boy’ thing going on at the moment.
Sirius Black (young): (drool-hot-drool).
Sirius Black (old): Well, he’s just escaped from Azkaban and he goes off to see his godson! If it were me, I would have retired to Grimmauld Place, immediately. I can’t believe JK killed him! Even though it was a vital plot point, because (DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS) he would have been able to tell them that his brother had initials that were R.A.B. It would have been nice if Sirius could have died knowing that his brother died defending the Light.
Remus Lupin: How can’t you like Remus? He’s not “hot” (i.e. cute) but he’s just so helpful to Harry in his “time of need”. Also, in Order of the Phoenix, he holds Harry back, just after the one remaining fellow Marauder (that didn’t betray Lily and James) has died. I would have probably gone and thrown myself off a cliff.
Barty Crouch Jr.: He’s just so hot in the films (drool-David-Tennant-drool).
Least favourite characters:
Harry Potter: OK, I think I’m the only one who says this, but … he’s just like – “I feel angry and depressed and I’m going to take it out on people I like!” – sort of thing.
Ron Weasley: Just so immature! I mean, did you see what he was like in Goblet of Fire? He might be jealous of Harry’s money, but it wasn’t his fault he inherited a fortune!
Hermione Granger: She’s such a know-it-all! And, unintentionally or not, she is always treating her best friends like they are beneath her, or something.
Ginny Weasley: People get her wrong all the time in FF.net – they end up making her a Mary-Sue. GAH! MARY-SUE ATTACK! ARGH!
Lily Evans: Just a stuck-up arse-hole in my opinion.
James Potter: FF.net authors get him wrong all the time – he does have a life you know! Every conversation he has doesn’t revert back to Lily!
Peter Pettigrew: I hate traitors more than anything in the world.
(Y)Sirius/OC: time travel?
(Y)Remus/OC: time travel?
(Yeah, I love OC characters. Mainly because you can do whatever you want with them. But do not, under any circumstances, make them a (shudders) Mary-Sue!
Least favourite pairings:
Slash; I hate slash because when I first stumbled across FF.net, I found a fic that said H/D written in the summary. I did not know what H/D meant, so I clicked and read it. It was an exceedingly graphic story, and I have hated slash ever since. I do not, however, have anything against gays.
Femme-slash; Same as above, really.
Harry/Ginny; I do not like Harry or Ginny, therefore, I do not like Harry/Ginny.
Hermione/Anyone; I do not like Hermione. Go figure.
Ginny/Anyone; As stated two lines above, I do not like Ginny.
Ron/Anyone; Or Ron.
Person-I-hate/Anyone; And I will not grant any Person-I-Hate the pleasure of love in my stories.
Krum: Crumb. Hmm ... I wonder if he likes apple crumb-le ...?
Kreacher: Creature. He is a bit of a creature ... and Hermione would kill me if she knew I had said that.
Gryffindor: Griffin door (there is a knocker on the headmaster's door in the shape of a griffin. It said so in ... one of the books. If you want to know so much, go read them!)
Hufflepuff: Huff-and-puff (said the wolf, Huff-and-Puff!)
Hedwig: Head wig (in case anyone had not noticed, you wear a wig on your head).
Lestrange: Lestrange. (‘Le’ is ‘the’ in French. The + Strange = The Strange. Well ... Bellatrix ...)
Meaningful Names ...
Remus: Romulus and Remus were twins that were raised by Wolves. Coincidentally enough, Romulus betrayed Remus and killed him. So just imagine that Peter was Romulus and that they were not twins and you have the tale of the Marauders in one. Well done.
Lupin: ‘Lupus’ is the star constellation for ‘wolf’. Lupin is a werewolf.
Sirius: ‘Sirius’ is the ‘Dog Star’, and Sirius’s Animagus is a big dog.
Regulus: ‘Regulus’ means ‘Little Dog’ and Regulus is the little brother of Sirius who is the ‘Great Dog’.
Rabastan: (Rabastan Lestrange) ‘Rastaban’ (and, yes, spelt like that) means ‘Head of the Snake’, and the Lestranges are a strictly Slytherin family … I reckon Rowling just switched the letters around.
Andromeda: ‘Andromeda’ is the lady of a myth. She is nicknamed ‘The Chained Lady’. And, er, dear old Andromeda Tonks used to be chained by the wishes of her family? I honestly do not know.
Felix Felicis: FELIX is Latin for LUCKY.
The Fidelus Charm: FIDILIS is Latin for FAITHFUL, and in the charm you have someone be faithful ... JK just switched the last I for a U.
Voldemort: French for FLIGHT OF DEATH.
Fleur Delacour: French for FLOWER OF THE COURT.
Does anyone else think that the whole story is related to Fenrir Greyback?
WHAT THE HELL??? you ask.
Well, let me explain – Fenrir bit Remus, which is why all the Marauders became Animagi, and without the Animagi bit, Peter Pettigrew wouldn’t have been able to transform and run away from Sirius. He could have Apparated, of course, but the Ministry would have been able to track him down, then. And then Sirius would have looked after Harry, and Harry would have had a better childhood, would have known about magic forever, and would have probably been able to defeat old Mouldy-Wart a lot easier. If that makes sense. Which I hope it does.
Deathly Hallows (SPOILERS!)
Yeah, I read, and mostly disliked, Deathly Hallows. The battle scene was good … and the break in to the Ministry and Gringotts. But that’s about it. Here are a few things wrong with it:
It was shorter than Goblet of Fire. Which is not even hardback.
The front cover sucked. (I am talking the English front cover).
JK just killed everyone special off. R.I.P. (Rot In Peas); Hedwig, Mad-Eye Moody, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Ted Tonks, Dirk Cresswell, Gornuk, Regulus Black, Colin Creevey, and many, many, more. Even though I do not like Hedwig, Creevey and Gornuk – who is a Goblin, just in case anyone wondered.
She reduced Draco to a scared little boy: come on! He has way more backbone than that. Plus, I like Draco.
She made it so that Good triumphed over Evil, just like every bloody story in the world ends. It is not like that in the real world, sometimes Evil triumphs, and Good falls, defeated. Think World War Two. We (the English) only won because of one battle; and that was only because the Americans showed up (eventually).
She did not even have Harry kill Mouldy-Wart, she just had it so that Mouldy killed himself.
I did not like Crabbe in this book. (Evil Crabbe. EVIL!
All the Golden Trio found their true love before they were twenty years old. Just so does not happen in the real world.
I hated that she portrayed Slytherin as pure evil, and Gryffindor as pure good, throughout the whole series. I mean, come on! Peter Pettigrew was a Gryffindor, and he was a Death Eater! Just being cunning and ambitious does not make you evil. It may make you darker than other the houses, but not evil.
Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were mostly ignored through every single book.
Right, I am done complaining about J.K. Rowling, Deathly Hallows, and every single book in the world now, so …
Lots and lots of L’amour (love)
Death by Feathers
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