Mass Effecting Your Pants
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Joined 07-17-07, id: 1328316, Profile Updated: 02-23-14
Author has written 25 stories for Naruto, Assassin's Creed, Misc. Games, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Sherlock, Adventures of Tintin, Harry Potter, and Mass Effect.

Previously known as Sanshain

Hi there!

My updates are slow as well as few and far between because fanfiction is something that falls to the wayside in the face of real life. It's a hobby that I love but real life and work don't seem to understand that.

I've moved my ficcage to combine everything in the one place. I will update this profile, coughifIevercompleteanythingcough, and my email is active so I still reply to comments and PMs, coughoftenyearslaterbutIdoreplycough, but you can find me and my fanfiction here forevermore:-

http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mass_Effecting_Your_Pants

And still here:-

https://www.fanfiction.net/malaksmistress

Much love,

MEYP xx

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Lost in Kishimoto reviews
RealWorld!Naruto/Ninja!Sasuke, humour, romance. "Hm," said a gruff voice at Naruto's ankles. "Definitely not a clone." Uzumaki's eyes dropped to his feet to see a small pug dog sniffing him. "It's not our Naruto but it's definitely a Naruto," continued the pug. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it seems like he isn't from our timeline." "A talking dog?" And then he fainted.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 29,716 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 374 - Updated: 1/12 - Published: 3/1/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Alliance Regs reviews
Alenko x M!Shepard. Romance, humour, drama, fluffy 'round the edges. "As the court is aware, Major Alenko is both Lieutenant Commander Shepard's senior and superior.There is sufficient evidence to indicate that the Major abused his authority and relationship to influence and manipulate the Lieutenant Commander to further his caree-" Shepard interrupted very clearly. "What the fu-"
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,602 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/17/2012 - Shepard (M), Kaidan A. - Complete
Aesculapius Hypnoticus reviews
Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy. Friendship, Pre-slashy, One-shot. Potter smacked his hand and Draco knew – always knew – that Potter and he had such a fierce rivalry going on because they both loved the challenge, the competition. And it was strange to know that it could have been something friendly…like this now. Yes it was nearly always exciting, he thought, but this…this was fun.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,132 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
How Do You Know? reviews
Naruto x Sasuke, Romance, Humour, Slight Drama, AU, Slice-of-life-ish, Drabblish. Rated for sexytime and language. He wasn't sure he'd heard right immediately. And then Naruto bent down and whispered it against Sasuke's chest again and again. Sasuke felt he could hardly be blamed, then, for getting spunk on Naruto's chin.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,717 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
I Know You Love Me reviews
Haddock x Tintin. Romance, Drama. Rated for sexytime. Fill to Amnesia prompt on the kinkmeme. Tintin gets a knock to the head that finally does some damage and he wakes up with no memory...but he knows this bristly, dark-haired man means a lot to him.
Adventures of Tintin - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,213 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Captain Haddock, Tintin - Complete
Hero reviews
"There's always exceptions to the rules, Sherlock. Such as yourself. And you once told me that there's no such thing as a hero. You're right, of course, but there are always ordinary people doing extraordinary things."
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,468 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/7/2010 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Trading Places reviews
Naruto x Sasuke. Romance, Humour, Jutsu Gone Awry. Rated for sexual situation. Within seconds Naruto is on his feet, twisting this way and that and slapping his hands to his face to discover just how much he should be freaking out. Sasuke's already done this bit so waits for Naruto to get it over with.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,875 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Stuck in a Moment reviews
Naruto x Sasuke. Romance, Drama, Angst, Tragedy. "It's my fault. You shouldn't be here, Sasuke." Sasuke was silent for a long time. "Idiot," he said eventually, throwing his hand over the edge of his hospital bed to grab Naruto's. "You're here, so I'd be here anyway."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,187 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Thinking About Tomorrow reviews
Character deaths, tragedy, drama, friendship. When a team of four becomes three, three becomes one, and one becomes none. And Kakashi is left with the painful reality of being alone once more.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,656 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 17 - Published: 6/27/2010 - Naruto U., Kakashi H. - Complete
Idiot reviews
Naruto x Sasuke, Romance, Humour. Rated for sexytime and language. "Well, you know," Sasuke began moving his hands to say what he couldn't, saw the motions he was making and stilled them immediately. "Naruto on his back and...I, well, on top. Him. You know..?"
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,794 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 18 - Published: 4/28/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Lonely Hearts Column reviews
Naruto x Sasuke. High School AU, Drama, Angst, Humour, Pre-slash. "What the hell was I supposed to think Sasuke? It was pretty obvious what was going on. I walk in and you're-" Here Naruto stumbled but picked himself up quickly, "I walk in and you're having sex with my girlfriend!"
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,669 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 22 - Published: 3/23/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Basmati Rice, Bedroom Doors and Sasuke reviews
Naruto x Sasuke, Romance, Humour, Entirely Purposeful Misuse of Sexy No Jutsu. How did his screaming at Sasuke that he could pay for his own shopping in the supermarket turn in to some paperback novel romantic rendezvous? And when the hell did they go dancing! As well Naruto knew he wasn't wearing some sequinned dress yesterday.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,622 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Turnabout Turnabout reviews
AJ spoilers. Edgeworth pokes his nose in his friend and rival's business. "Though I did read in the tabloids that Herr Wright and you were more than mere courtroom rivals. Childhood friends, ja? I imagine his downfall has a slight sting to it."
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,758 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/25/2010 - Miles E., Phoenix W./Nick - Complete
Effected reviews
Desmond x Shaun. Romance, Drama, Angst. The more unpleasant side of the Bleeding Effect. "Shaun told himself he didn't care. Wasn't worried or concerned or almost out of his goddamn mind with the fear of what it could mean when he found Desmond collapsed in the hall."
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,416 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/18/2010 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Bleeding Effect of Passion reviews
Ezio x Leonardo, Desmond x Shaun. Romance, Humour. Rated for sexytime situations. "You know, you're not quite as intolerable as I initially thought, and if you weren't averse to repeating this with say, no clothes for example, or in a bed, though the wall is good, I would be open to such a suggestion..."
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,577 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 17 - Published: 1/14/2010 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
The Yellow Baseball Glove reviews
Naruto x Sasuke. Romance, Humour, AU, Drabble-ish. Rated for occasional swearing. And then Naruto was around almost every day, and Itachi wondered if Sasuke knew that generally speaking, generally, two men who were 'just friends' probably oughtn't touch each other so much...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,502 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/1/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Just In Case reviews
Another drabble, born from a prompt on AF. Rated for sexual situation. Naruto x Sasuke, Romance, Drama, Hurt and Comfort. It was best to focus on the mundane and ordinary when life-changing things happen.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Things We Do For Love reviews
Naruto x Sasuke. Romance, Humour. Rated for some swearing. Drabble-ish. When Sasuke needed a place to stay, Naruto hadn't even hesitated in offering to share his place. But when he woke to Sasuke spooning him, he began to harbour some second thoughts over the situation.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,075 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/25/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Do You Remember? reviews
Animamundi Dark Alchemist. Yaoi game, thus yaoi content. One-shot. Georik Zaberisk x Francis Dashwood. Rated for adult material of the yum kind. Romance, Drama, Angst and Humour. -MOAR people must play this horrendously underrated game!- Something is missing in Georik Zaberisk's life, and he knows exactly who can fix that...if only he could find him again.
Misc. Games - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,140 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Complete
Desynchronisation, Reinitialising, Loading reviews
It's rather hard to summarise what this fic actually is. One part parody, one part want-to-write-an-Assassin's-Creed-fic, and two parts my experience playing the game. Not to be taken seriously. I'm sure fellow AC gamers can relate...
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,491 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Altaïr, Desmond M. - Complete
Waiting reviews
Naruto is in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it seems to be right. Set after timeskip, during Shippuuden timeline. Character death - happens in manga canon, though differently. No pairings. No swearing. Oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,564 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/5/2009 - Naruto U., Orochimaru - Complete
Indigestion, Expired Milk and Sasuke reviews
Naruto x Sasuke, Romance, Humour. Rated for short limey type scene and swearing. "Of course!" Sasuke deadpanned. "I can totally understand how you could confuse nausea derived from consuming off dairy products for locking lips with someone you find attractive. Totally."
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,144 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/8/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Your Inner Ninja, An Emotional Rollercoaster reviews
Friendship oneshot. Sai's stunted social and emotional understandings. "It's been over four years since that bastard left. I looked at him like he was my brother, you know? But Kabuto's right, Sasuke isn't the Sasuke I knew anymore. I promised Sakura-chan, hell I promised myself, but it's so tiring."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,528 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/8/2008 - Sai, Naruto U. - Complete
Blinded reviews
FINALLY SORT OF MOSTLY EDITED 9-Mar-2010. PROBABLY LIKELY UNFORTUNATELY DISCONTINUED. NarutoxSasuke, Romance, Humour, dash of Angst and Drama. Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto are heading back to Konoha after a mission, but they run in to a little trouble. As such, things change much more than they expected...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,917 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 5/8/2008 - Published: 10/29/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Perdí mi sonrisa, I lost my smile reviews
Sasuke lost his smile. Who stole it? Who found it? Pre-slash. First Person POV. Slight Angst. Snow.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,480 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Published: 11/1/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete