Author has written 2 stories for iCarly.
Hello, people reading my profile! Somehow, by clicking whatever, you have managed to locate yourself here for whatever reason! I promise all my sentences will not end with an exclamation point :). So, hi, I'm Mallory. Nice to meet you! I'm generally a very optimistic person, but I'm also brutally honest, so good luck with that!
Now time for the profile list thingy-ma jiggy!
Name: Mallory. I know that's generally a southern name, but I'm not southern and neither are my parents (from New York and the Land of Cheese) I don't know why they named me that. Also, for like three weeks my username was donutsrock2 because that has been my username for basically everything since my Animal Jam days at age ten. Then I was writing an email to a teacher, and I signed it Sincerely, Mallory and I was like OH MY GOSH THAT RHYMES somehow I had never realized it... but that's my username now.
Age: Not gonna tell you that exactly but... I'm not old enough to go to big boy jail :) My birthday's October 23
Gender: Female and proud of it ;)
Family: I've got four siblings. Yes, you read that right, I am the second oldest of FIVE children. Three sisters and a brother. My older sister's name is Emmalynn, the twin's names are Eri and Beckett, Eri's older than Beckett by an hour, so he's second youngest. And my youngest sibling's name is Lina. Yeah, we're that family who gives there kids the abstract and unique names. Emmalynn, Mallory, Eri, Beckett, Lina.
Location: I generally write on my couch...
Fine. Midwest USA
Appearance: SUPER curly medium length blonde hair, glasses(I'm on my twelfth pair) blue-green eyes, tannish skin, freckles. Also, I'm tall. 5'6". I wish so hard I was short!!! 5'3" is my ideal height, but I'm kinda past that.
IQ: Uhh I don't know why people want to know this, but... 125 :)
-I have an eidetic memory, if any of you watched A.N.T Farm, yes, that's what Olive has, but as with most things Disney exaggerates it greatly. I can't remember things I read, or words and things like that, that is the actual definition of a photographic memory(which has not been proven to exist) I can only remember pictures and memories
-I almost passed out because I was placed in a chokehold twice.
-I have Raynaud's syndrome, so I have low blood circulation in my hands, so even if I don't feel cold, but my body is cold, my hands turn purple, which freaks people out!
-I'm allergic to nature and face paint
-My favorite foods are chocolate, grapes, and yogurt bars
-I have rubbed cream on a chicken's foot
-I almost got kidnapped when I was seven
-Between me and all my siblings, we have three dogs, two hamsters, a guinea pig, a fish, and two horses
-I got heat exhaustion, which led me to the diagnosis of hypoglycemia(low blood sugar) I almost passed out seven times during this!
-I'll add other things I think of later
I am starting high school this month, and even though it's weird because of COVID, I don't know how much time I'll have to write, so...
I am part of a teen program at my local zoo, and I have lots and LOTS of crazy stories/quotes, some of which I will share with you now.
We have a lady who is known as the Crazy Giraffe Lady, who has been BANNED from the zoo multiple times(yes, it's possible) because she's obsessed with giraffes to the point where she will walk up behind little children and pinch the back of there necks and say things like "this is THIS part of a giraffe" which, um, you can't do, plus some other things I will spare you from so... yeah.
I have witnessed a couple of Karen sightings in person. So, we were by the giraffes, we have a little station with some giraffe skin and bones(they died of natural causes and were donated for scientific and educational purposes, it's okay) and we were talking to some people there, and a Karen and her two children approached the side, looked at some stuff, and just said right to our faces "well, they're not telling us anything, so let's go" Like, we were busy talking to other guests.
Because of COVID, we direct people on different paths for social distancing, and a Karen was angry because she wanted to go where she wanted. You still get to see all the animals, just in a different order. So... yeah.
I worked with 1st/2nd grade camps for three days, they created a fort in the woods and then recreated the Revolutionary War without knowing what it was (the trees were the British) They lost. The next day, the British trees became invisible sea monsters made out of water, then zombies, then robots but the robots were nice. I was blackmailed into working for them.
-I have a lot more funny stories but I just realized you'd have to know a tiny bit about the zoo, or I'd have to explain a lot of things for you to understand them, so we're not doing that-
Zoo Quotes (yay)
We do have daily quotes on a whiteboard, and Isabella has a list of ones for the summer in her phone (714), but these are all the ones I can remember. Also, I changed people's names.
*Lucas comes out of bathroom sadly* "Russel, I missed"
*Mandy walks into Ed Building* "Hey guys, what's up?" "Bowie's twerking on the table again"-Sage
"Don't you ever wonder what would happen if we microwaved a human?"-Lucas "Ah, the good old days"-Sage
*Snake eats mouse*Isabella screams* "And I get to water my plant today!"-Me!
"Maybe that mouse had dreams!"-Also me!
"Okay ladies, let's dip!"-Parker
*Sage sniffs worm*Jaxten looks at her funny* "I am sniffing the sacred noodle"
"I have been *takes deep breath* manhandled! "-Me
"Everyone hates the rain, but it's so good! Rain takes out all the witches that have the misfortune of being outside today!"-Me
"I have 100% science and I'm using it all!"-Parker
"I don't always create doomsday cults"-Brigid
"Alexa, why didn't you come to my funeral?"-Me "I didn't know you were having a funeral!"-Alexa *turns to Anni* "I told you to invite her!"-Me
*Amy holds the door for mother with a stroller.* "It's so hard being a single mom"-Mother "Feel that"-Amy
"I want to hit you over the head with the sacrum!"-Me :)
"Hey, where's Colton?"-Brynn *Colton pops out of Recycling bin and waves* "Again?"-Brynn
"What are you guys doing?"-Ambria "Oh, you know, just dying"-Me, being aggressively wrestled to the ground
"Aggravated assault, is that a petty crime?"-Jeremiah
"Mandy, I died"-Me "How?"-Mandy "I was spinning around and fell down the hill"-Me "Well, to be fair, I pushed her"-Abigail
"Is Stich your idol or your crush?"-Mandy "Yes"-Anita
"I would pay to watch you kill someone. It would be entertaining"-Me
"Would you pass me that stick, ZC Bridgid?"-Bowie
These are all the ones I can remember, but I'll see if I can find more!