Well... my name's Steve, I'm 28, I like long, moonlit walks on the beach, and I'm a Cancer. (According to my brother, I'm actually a cancerous tumour on the arse of humanity). My twin brother is my beta, MagnaMorbius. If you ever find a part of my story that you don't like, chances are he thought of it (!). Oddly enough, Morbius' real name is Andrew. If you've read my BWL story, it makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Moving on: FanFiction. I love Fanfiction. After the diabolical mess that was 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows', I could have cried. I had no choice but to absorb as much Fanfiction as possible, to get the revolting images out of my head.

And here's why: Ron and Hermione. How in the name of all that is good would Hermione, the smartest witch in her generation, end up with Ron, a goof with the emotional range of a teaspoon, and an intelligence equal to my sock draw (always bloody empty, dammit). I mean... come on. It just wouldn't happen, would it? Hermione's not that stupid. (Unless I'm feeling vindictive, in which case...)

As such, my fanfics are primarily H/Hr (As it should have been!)

I'd also like to point out that I do not hate the Weasleys (with the possible exception of Ron). In a lot of my stories, I Ginny-bash. Not 'cause I hate her, it's just that it's so damned easy to bash Weasleys (except Fred and George).

My next topic is OOC. I like OOC, if it's believable OOC. Hermione becoming the biggest bike at Hogwarts is a little too OOC (Unless I'm feeling vindictive... hmmm. Although, I have to say, I've been on a Vengeance!Harry kick recently, and I've had a couple of truly weird ideas). Ginny becoming the biggest bike is not. I mean, how many boyfriends did she actually get through before deciding to settle of Harry. Harry becoming the next Dark Lord... possible, in a good AU. Harry being manipulated by Dumbledore (come on... if you can't see Dumbledore's been manipulating Harry, you need to re-read OotP, and HBP. Seriously.)

'Ships: I like the conventional ships, and some of the unconvential ships. However, the truly ridiculous ships annoy me. Harry Potter/Lord Voldemort? Are you kidding? I mean, ignoring the fact that Voldemort is 66 while Harry is twelve. By the time Harry's old enough, Voldemort is old enough to be his Great-Grandfather. Snape? Why do people love putting Harry with Snape? Do you all forget that Snape LOATHES Harry with a fiery vengeance? That whole 'seven years of abuse at the hands of his father'? Come on... Which leads me nicely to Draco Malfoy. At exactly what point did their mutual hatred turn into Unresolved Sexual Tension? Harry hates Malfoy for being a stuck-up bigoted pig, while Malfoy hates Harry for being a half-blood who defies his master. This is not the basis for a working relationship. Even though I'm convinced Draco's gay.

With regards to my fictions:

Quantum Leap: This is the story I'm primarily working on at the moment, while my creative juices are flowing. However, I have been known to run out of creative juices (oddly enough, whenever I blow my nose...)

Boy-Who-Lived: This is a collaboration story with my beta, MagnaMorbius (who informed me that he's written 57.7 of the story). The first part is completed, and has now been posted. We've kinda forgotten it for a while... Sorry.

White Knight: I'm really enjoying writing this one, but I got stumped, so it's on hiatus. It won't be as long as QL or BWL will be, but it should be reasonably enjoyable.

Missing, presumed... Missing: On temporary hiatus while I re-evaluate the plotline. Too much, too soon. Don't worry, soon it'll be back, and better than ever!

I've also taken the liberty of working on several other stories. At the present time, I've got 43 WiPs in my files... I don't just wanna start posting first chapters as the muse strikes me, though, 'cause they'd be LOADS of half-finished fics.