DeathsMannequin
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Joined 07-21-07, id: 1331741, Profile Updated: 05-16-12
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.

Well for starters my name is lORi, and i am 20 years old. Whoo! Oh i'm also left handed lol idk why i wrote that, just cuz i'm koo like that lol

I just recently gotten bitten by the Twilight bug, and I'm loving it! I am a big hard core Team Jacob fan, but that doesn't mean i dnt like Edward. I'm also a big hard core Bella/Paul fan aka Team Paul, or least that's what I call it. I just have always love Wolfs and Werewolves more than the idea of Vampires. Sorry guys lol. Well basically I'm Team Wolf Pack, love those pairings. I also do love alternative pairings in anything i'm into such as anime, books, tv shows, etc...


Twilight Couples

Bella/Jacob: Self Explanatory. Oh how i wish Jacob imprinted on Bella when he saw her sigh as do all team jacob fans...but that's why we have fanfiction!! haha team jacob can dream!!

Bella/Quil: I just like the idea of them connecting and getting a bond after embry and jake left them both, totally good story right there if u ask me.

Bella/Sam: Hmm, don't see a lot of these, but i do love reading them. To be honest with you, i have not clue why i like this couple i just do lol

Bella/Jared: Probably the same as above. Not many, dnt kno why i like them, i just do (:

Bella/Paul: I love Paul, i love his hot-headed temper, it's so WOW! lol he is (plus Alex Marez is a total babe ;) ) i just find it very interesting.

Sam/Leah: C'mon now, i can't resist this couple. It's such a tragedy between them and they so much history, that's what makes it all the more interesting.

I simply love Leah. Too many stories make her the bad guy or just a bitter bitch (which is mostly true on the last part) but hey, who wouldn't be? It's just natural to be that way, any woman, even secretly they would. Leah just doesn't care what they think, and she embraces the title of bitch (just like Rosalise, i think they would be the best of friends, well at least in my stories they would lol)

Leah/Edward: One word. WEREPIRE! lol just seems interesting enough, i love these stories too, just not too many of them either.


Sitting around eating snacks, listening to music, and writing this just for you.

You know you've been a Pot Head if...

You've ever said 'pack the bowl again.' (guilty as charged)

You think "puff puff pass" or "puff puff give" has a nice ring to it. (it really does lol)

You can smell it 100 yards away in a concert. (LMAO who wouldn't?)

You have multiple bottles of Visine in various locations "just in case." (psh, dont need it, my eyes nvr get red, im a hybrid ;) lol)

You can't believe someone "smoked without you." (true, very true lol)

You know "Wake and Bake" isn't about cooking. (Lmao, only too well)

You know cigars as "Philly's" and it's a hassle that they come with tobacco inside. (Ugh, irritates me to no end)

You know that if you are desperate you can always find a "nug in your rug."

You can make a bong out of a juice bottle, a tube, and duck tape. (been a victim to the ghetto bong more than a few times)

You have named anything you have ever smoked out of (King Bong, Chibus)

You know the difference between "Schwag, Beezers, KB, and Dank" by appearance and smell. (oh hell yeah! lmao true pothead right there)

“Purple Haze” is much more than a Hendrix song. (first type of budd i ever smoked)

You know that "Hydro" isn't just a comic book character. (poor saps who think otherwise)

You have a "friend" that you only talk to because they always have herb. (lmao, yes. Sadly, I'm that friend.)

You have a nickname for it (Herbal Excellence, Big Tom Cruise, Silly Willy Schwage a Dilly). (I call it Yoshi ;))

You fully understand why it should be legalized. (Who doesn't?)

You hear things in your favorite songs that you never realized were there before. (all the time)

You have "rules" (rule #3 when you say you've had enough, you take one more hit. And then that's enough). (lol yeah, only two bowls.)

You have ever watched a movie then forgot what it was about. (lmao yes.)

You ate a whole pint of ice cream and then followed it up with pretzels, a bowl of cereal, and hot pockets. (LMAO, maybe not that, but yes i get hardcore munchies sometimes.)

You can easily quote lines from "Dazed and Confused" or "Half Baked." (Friday and Pineapple Express, oh and of course Cheech and Chong.)

The inside of your car is always dirty.

You have a legitimate argument about why you're not 'addicted.' (Of course! Weed is NOT addictive and skrew you if you say otherwise. (:)

You belong to the “Find a lighter, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck" klepto club. (Hell yeah!)

People are looking at me. They know man, they know. (Only when i first started smoking)

You've ever had to abandon your shopping cart in a department store and leave because you were "getting bugged out." (something like that lol)

Every idea you ever have you need to write down. (lol yes)

You forget to write down every idea you ever have. (lmfao! yes!!)

You lived the words to “Sweet Leaf."

You begin to explain something to a friend and go on a tirade about something random. Then you forget what it was you were trying to explain in the first place. (lmao all the damn time.)

You are such a vet that you can do “anything" stoned, and do it better. (Fck yeah it is.)

You wish you lived in Canada, Amsterdam, or Nevada. (yes...)

Your idea of an ideal vacation is Amsterdam (They have a lot of culture).

You can accurately portray a stoner (and do a fine impression, man). (nuff said)

You have a personal preference between Duchies, Spliffs, Blunt, and Joints. (i like blunts, they burn slower)

You know how to roll. (Um, duh! lol)

You shed a tear when you see the police burning crops on the news. (breaks my heart everytime lol)

You buy gum or Altoids by the case. (lol of course!)

420 is a holiday. (Psh, holiday? 420 is everyday)

2 words - Cannabis Culture.

You know 10-50 different words to describe ganjah. (Pot, Hemp, Bhang, Marijuana, Joint, Reefer, Dope, Ganja, Smoke, Weed, Herb, Marihuana, Hash, Sensemilla, Green, Greenbud, Thai-stick, Green-sticky, Dirtweed, Shake, Indian Canamo, Huang Ma, Mary Jane, grass, Ace, Aunt Mary, Bales, Boo Boo Bama, Buddha, Bush, Buzz, Cheeba Cheeba, Chronic, Dank, Doobie, homegrown, Maui-Wowie, MJ, Puff, Rasta, Reefer, Skunk, Smoke, Spliff, Trees, twigs, Whacktabacky, Whackyweed, Sweet Lucy, Stick, Stack, Shwag, Nuggets, Ragweed)

You find it funny that somebody is ACTUALLY smoking a swisher cigarillo.

You regularly visit such sites as abovetheinfluence.com and truly enjoy the comedic value of their commercials. (Omg those commercials are hilarious. Especially bout that one chick who was on the couch when they drew on her face. The only thing i was thinking was, Damn! She must have been fckn blown! lol)

You could pack a bowl with the bits of weed around your car. (lol i do that with my weed box)

Your mechanic complains that he got weed all over him when he laid down to work on the car and threatened to 'never work on your car again.'

You finally remember what you were going to say, but don't remember how it applies to the conversation. (memory thing) (all the fckn time XD)

You have to ask what you're talking about more than 5 times. (LMFAO!!)

You sit and correct all the 'facts' about weed on anti-drug websites, then email it to the creators of the website.

A professor writes, "You write at a very HIGH level" on your paper after coming to class high. (All the time, i always write HIGH in anything lol)

You feel you have to audio record every conversation you have, so you can listen to it when you're sober. Even though you'll have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

You go see a movie in theaters and completely forget the name and plot by the next day. (lmao)

You know you're a pothead when you have a green lighter. (GO GREEN!)

Long live the subculture.

You Might be a Pothead:

You might be a pothead if Freakazoid starts making sense.

You might be a pothead if pets are potheads too. (Lmao, i'm not going there! All i can say is my dog is a muncher lol)

You might be a pothead if you think Detroit Rock City is the coolest movie in the world.

You might be a pothead if you can't remember if you buy bread at the grocery store of the hardware store.

You might be a pothead if you think about things like who would win if Spiderman and Megaman fought. (lol yeah)

You might be a pothead if you think cartoon characters are FINE (e.g. Jessica Rabbit, Ariel, Jodie and the Pussycats...)

You might be a pothead if "huh?" is a predominant part of your everyday language. (LMFAO!! that is my favorite word!)

You might be a pothead if you laugh at Discovery Channel programming.

You might be a pothead if your TV is constantly tuned in to the cartoon network. (Adult Swim baybeh!)

You might be a pothead if you like to suck your bottom lip into the vacuum. (do that with my top lip lol)

You might be a pothead if the bath and body works hemp lotion intrigues.

You might be a pothead if you try to supersize every meal. (lol that's mega munchies.)

You might be a pothead if you laugh at head traumas.

You might be a pothead if everytime you cough, it sounds like the garbage disposal. (only when i'm puffing on them trees. "It gets you ten times more higher!" lmao)

You might be a pothead if everything looks to you like those nickel movies at Disneyland.

You Know You're A Stoner When:

You smoke weed (#1 indication right there. LMAO)

You've had more lighters stolen from you than every super america store combined. (All the damn time lol)

You tear the house apart looking for your lighter and realize its in your hand. (i can't even remember how many times that has happen to me lol)

You open that stash baggie/bowl/box and realize you like the smell of skunk. (lmao yes.)

You have 1 million "You know you're a stoner" incidents but you can only remember 3 at the moment. (LMFAO)

There are at least 3 food items, empty or full, somewhere on or near the desk at which you are reading this. (lmao, i got some opened chips on the desk as we speak lol)

You walk into a room to get something but forget what that something was. (LMFAO EVERY FCKN TIME XD)

You have no money at the beginning of the day, but always endy up high by the time you go to bed. (lmao so true!)

You call someone and by the time they pick up you have no idea who you called. (happens all the time! XD XD)

You always think your phone is vibrating and when you go to check its not. (LMFAO ALL THE DAMN TIME XD!)


Some VERY Interesting and Funny Facts

Here is a list of what I thought very funny. I left it in the form that I received it.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")

A mantis breeder has assured me that you preying mantis can copulate with the male's head still attached, even several times.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. For a human, that would be equivalent to jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...lucky pig... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm...won't go there.)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing...)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)


You know you live in 2009 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.

13. your sad because you fell for it and think you have to put it on ur pro


For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be muscular, on steroids, and have a "big one".
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
I spend more than an HOUR on the INTERNET so I MUST be looking at porn.
I like POETRY so I MUST be a depressed, anti-social teen that thinks no one can understand me.
I go to PARTIES so I MUST be a drunken druggie ho.


IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and alot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Karma by Alicia Keys (oooh we kno what kind of movie this is ;) lol)

Waking Up: Saturday (Oooh Oooh!) by Ludacris (lmao no comment on that)

First Day At School: Bad Girl by Danity Kane (um, what a good way to make an impression on the first day of skoo)

Falling In Love: No One by Alicia Keys (wow one song actually fit)

Fight Song: Stupify by Disturbed (dnt kno what to say bout that one)

Breaking Up: Day 'N' Nite (Crookers Remix) by Kid Cudi (hey i like this song! (: its the one w/all the annoying sirens going off lol)

Prom night: Just Dance by Lady Gaga ft. Akon (i think this is actually for after prom if u listen to the lyrics)

Life: Mr Carter by Lil' Wayne (hey Ms lORi!)

Mental Breakdown: Blind by Korn (i'm blind!!)

Driving: No Surrender by Bone Thugs N Harmony

Flashback: Lovefool by The Cardigans (gotta love that song)

Getting back together: Lovers and Friends by Lil' Jon, Usher, Ludacris (hmm, not really bout getting bck together, but whatever!)

Wedding: Always and Forever by Earth, Wind, and Fire (omg one song came out right! this is the song i want played at my wedding one day (:)

Birth of Child: We Made You by Eminem (yes, we did lmao)

Final Battle: Crazy Train by Ozzy Ozbourne (get ready for a hell of a ride)

Funeral Song: Fall Into Sleep by Mudvayne (wow that makes sense)

Final Credits: Big Poppa by The Notorious B.I.G (i love it when you call me big poppa!)


A Mexican walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only Mexican man there.
As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The Mexican man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"Listen Pendejo...

When i was born, i was BROWN,
When i grew up, i was BROWN,
When i'm sick, i'm BROWN,
When i go in the sun, i'm BROWN,
When I'm cold, i'm BROWN,
When i die, i'll be BROWN."

"But you pendejo...
When you're born, you're PINK,
When you grow up, you're WHITE,
When you're sick, you're GREEN,
When you go in the sun, you turn RED,
When you're cold, you turn BLUE,
And when you die, you turn PURPLE."

"And you have the nerve to call me colored?
"Chinga tu madre, puto!!"

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

(Note that I'm not racist. I'm Mexican myself. I just found this joke in some latino guy's myspace page and so since I thought it was pretty funny, I decided to translate it to English and post it here.)


Well thats it for now (:

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Endless Winter by Ziomy reviews
This story begins when Bella comes back from Italy after saving Edward from the Volturi. Edward has given the ok on turning Bella into a vampire...now she has some difficult decisions to make.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 71,281 - Reviews: 386 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 6/18/2014 - Published: 10/21/2009 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
Third Choice by Ahmose Nefertari reviews
Bella finally realizes that Jacob is the best choice for her. They're natural together. But will imprinting change their relation? How will Bella and Jacob deal with it? Is their love strong enough to overlap this bond? I've been told it has a great twist
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 116,680 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 1/26/2013 - Published: 10/14/2009 - Jacob, Bella
Building A Life Out Of Chaos by thesharminator reviews
What would have happened if Jake had been the first of the Quileutes to phase? What if it was too late to keep Laurent from changing Bella? How do they find their places in a new world filled with the supernatural. Part 2 started, there be Cullens now.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 87,889 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 12/27/2011 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Bella, Jacob
Blind Apology by Flutemelody reviews
Bella is blind and sick of people fussing over her because of it.Paul hates her because he's scared she's going to take her brother Jacob away from the pack with her handicapped self. All in all, they hate each other. Then Paul imprints on her. Bella/Paul
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,814 - Reviews: 344 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 305 - Updated: 8/7/2010 - Published: 8/17/2009 - Bella, Paul
White Wolf by queenchesh reviews
The Pack is dealing with a lone wolf that has been in their territory. At the same time Victoria is running wild around Washington and being chased by the white wolf. Who is the wolf? And where is Bella? /Complete/
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 25,014 - Reviews: 666 - Favs: 958 - Follows: 491 - Updated: 5/18/2010 - Published: 12/20/2009 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Second Chances by augustblack reviews
Jake and Bella are happy until one day she disappears. She shows up 2 yrs later along with Quil and a son. Why did she leave, who is the childs father, and what does it have to do with Quil? Thats what everyone wants to know.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 27 - Words: 92,439 - Reviews: 740 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 284 - Updated: 5/13/2010 - Published: 4/6/2009 - Jacob, Bella
Alpha Fail by lifelesslyndsey reviews
La Push is vampire free, leaving seven teenage werewolves and there alpha nothing to do! What happens when Sam imprints on his Beta's broken leech loving best friend? Alpha Win or Alpha Fail? Looks like Sam isn't so tough after all. N/C SamXBella
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 88,989 - Reviews: 2121 - Favs: 2,188 - Follows: 838 - Updated: 3/28/2010 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Sam, Bella - Complete
Without You by bexxyy reviews
After Edward left in New Moon, Bella agreed to live with her mum. Charlie dies 3 years after she leaves. When she returns to Forks, who else has also returned? Who will she find love with? IMPRINT STORY! Bella/Jared
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 37,298 - Reviews: 588 - Favs: 614 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Bella, Jared - Complete
Torn by MrsBiteMe reviews
"A friend is one who comes in when the whole world has gone out." - Grace Pulpit. When Jacob ignores Bella in New Moon she develops a friendship with Quil. They become close, and then he, too, makes the change into werewolf. AU. Q/B & J/B.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 53,555 - Reviews: 506 - Favs: 402 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 7/29/2009 - Bella, Quil Jr. - Complete
Disenchanted by twilightsgrace23 reviews
After tragedy takes her mother and NFL superstar step-father, Bella moves back to Forks to live with Charlie, his wife Sue and their two kids. She must learn how to live with all she's lost and all she'll soon learn about her past. BellaxJake BellaxEmbry
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 23 - Words: 78,360 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 12/2/2009 - Published: 9/11/2009 - Bella - Complete
Twilight: Reversed Roles by Geneth reviews
In Twilight, Bella falls for Edward Cullen & Jacob is the boy who's crushing on her. But what if the roles were reversed? What if Jacob was the mysterious boy at school & Edward was the boy who shared his secret? Can love be found out from its changes?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 98,019 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 8/31/2009 - Published: 1/21/2009 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
So Long by Bringg Mee Flowerss reviews
Jacob can't seem to face Bella after he's learned exactly what he has become. When she shows up at his door, he is forced to confront her. What will he see in her eyes? Mid New Moon, after Jacob turns. Doesn't follow New Moon plot. One-Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,125 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 8/26/2009 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Jacob, Bella - Complete
Dreams by elle's papaya reviews
Emily could only watch helplessly as Sam thrashed around in his sleep. All she could do was hope for the moment he stopped. But as she watched him, he dreamt of another. Oneshot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,025 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 34 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Sam, Leah - Complete
iPod by janya.wrote.nightrose reviews
Leah Clearwater isn't going to let Sam Uley stop her from things she likes. If she has to change them around a little, turn the volume up all the way, that's her problem. And if she skips every other song, it has NOTHING to do with him. Oneshot R&R Please
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,888 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Leah, Sam - Complete
Touch by Karupin-Kun reviews
Gaara met Naruto shortly after Naruto was removed from a crappy foster home. Over the years they've become close friends but when Naruto's case worker tries to take him away Gaara is willing to do all he can to help even while over coming his own demons.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,885 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 7/27/2008 - Published: 12/23/2006 - Gaara, Naruto U.
Balance by Panda513 reviews
A dramatic, heartfelt Sam and Leah story. Is graphic in some aspects, you have been warned. one shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,419 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Leah, Sam - Complete
Possession by tranquilwriter reviews
AU. What if it was Neji's father that was born first instead of Hinata's? How different would their lives be now that Neji is the heir? How different would Neji and Hinata's relationship be? Would there be room for romance? NejiHina Mature Content
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 33 - Words: 208,275 - Reviews: 1861 - Favs: 1,156 - Follows: 400 - Updated: 6/18/2008 - Published: 5/20/2007 - Neji H., Hinata H. - Complete
The Taken and the Grieved by ttchaku reviews
AU for Being and Belonging. If Naruto had died that night at Itachi’s hands, what measures would Gaara have gone to ensure his only friend’s revenge?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,724 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/11/2007 - Gaara, Naruto U. - Complete
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If It Were Different reviews
Jake is the first to transform while Bella is there. Later on Paul phases as the second member of the Wolf Pack, not wanting to accept his fate, he lashes out to Jake. Bella tries to break the fight only to be caught in the middle of it. How will there fates be played out now?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,859 - Reviews: 295 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 8/9/2012 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Bella, Jacob
I Loved Her First reviews
One Shot. Song fic. A certain person's perspective on the night of Bella's wedding. Read & Review. :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,731 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/12/2012 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Let It Be More Than Words reviews
Jake imprints on Bella, but Bella doesn't kno. She has finally moved on and is abosolutely in love with him. He waits for the perfect time to tell her, what better place than at a bonfire. What better way to tell her than through his guitar. Team Jake.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,046 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/18/2009 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Jacob, Bella