Flufferbunny37
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Poll: When life gives you lemons, you should: Vote Now!
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Joined 07-26-07, id: 1335420, Profile Updated: 04-02-09
Author has written 3 stories for Maximum Ride.

OMG GUYS I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR NOT BEING ON FOR FOREVER. short version: i thought my account was broken cuz i changed my email for this account, kept trying to log on & it wouldn't let me. long version: TOO LONG 2 EXPLAIN SO DONT ASK. anyway, I'M REALLY SORRY!! dude i've really gotta catch up on all my stories, both reading & writing...this is gonna take a while...oh well. again, I'M SORRY!!

READ THIS STORY. well, if u've read twilight. but i collaborated with nightingale07 with it...not that theres really that much there right now...but whatev. Its really funny, if i do say so myself...and so do the other ppl who reviewed it, so THERE!! o well, here it is: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4093995/1/Winter_Sports_Cullen_Style

I am constantly updating my profile so read it and check back in a few days it will have more stuff in it. Pretty much, the last time my profile was updated was the last time i was on. And PLEEEEASE PM me if u want to, like commenting on my pro or whatever. I like getting them.

I used to be rogue4eva, but then i discovered/created Flufferbunny when i was bored during history. It's a looooong story. PM me if you want to hear it and/or see the picture. I used to have it on here but got bored with it. Well, at least i hope i can send u the picture. ANYWAY, for the record, i am not any less obsessed with marvel or X-Men, i just wanted a name that described me better.

So, here's some random info about me:

Physical description:

Hair: Brown and shoulder length. only reason its so short is cuz i cut it to like chin length in the summer, liked it for about two weeks, then hated it. its not growing fast enough. also never been dyed or highlighted, although i'd kind of like highlights.

Eyes: hazel. usually green towards the outside, more brown towards the inside. probably my most interesting feature.

Skin: darker toned than some, but looks more like a perpetual light tan.

Teeth: braces-less. never had them, probably never will. yays. :-)

Height: people say average, but i'm taller than most girls i know, so i'm thinking more like taller. i'm like 5'5 or 6".

Shoe size: 8 1/2. technically. i dont know how many pairs i have that size cuz i really dont pay attention to size. so my shoes are basically in the range of 6 to 9.

Dressing stlye: trying to establish one. been experimenting for a while now. however, definitely more to the preppy end of the spectrum than to the goth/emo end. mainly because i happen to love the color pink.

Favorite books:

Series:

Twilight!!

Maximum Ride!!

Midnighters

Mediator

1-800-WHERE-R-YOU

Vampirates

Bloody Jack

Inkheart

A Great and Terrible Beauty

I don't really know what the trilogy is called, but the first book is The Warrior Heir. They're by Cinda Williams Chima, and are fantastic. But i got sad at the end of the last one :-(

Not series:

The Host

...and that's about it. i dont really like books not in a series.

Favorite Movies:

RENT (THE. BEST. MOVIE. EVER. MADE.)

Twilight (do i need to say it?? seriously??)

Juno (cutest movie in existence)

WALL-E (HYPERVENTILATE AT CUTENESS!!)

The Princess Bride (does anyone else think that the guy who played westley would have been a perfect jasper?? assuming twilight had been made 20 years ago/princess bride made now)

Ferris Bueller's day off (essential for every human being to see at least once in their lives, or else you are going to hell, according to this kid in my french class)

The Patriot (which we watched in eighth grade history class--YAY IRRESPONSIBLE TEACHERS!!)

The Day After Tomorrow (that would be a sucky way for the world to end.)

The Sixth Sense (BEST ENDING TO A MOVIE EVER. plus the whole "I see dead people" line. that's immortal.)

Meet the Robinsons (SOOOOOOOOO cute!! it confused my brother, so bonus)

Pirates of the Carribean (i just like pirates. they're excellent.)

Favorite TV Shows:

House

Bones

Fringe (i blame my brother)

American Idol (yes, i admit it. it's addictive.)

The Secret Life of the American Teenager (guilty pleasure...stupid, but whatever)

Seinfeld

...and that is ALL the tv i watch. not much. but whatev.

RANDOM STUFF ABOUT ME:

I am strongly against child abuse. Did you know that 79 percent of abuse fatalities happen to children under the age of 4? And of that 79 percent, 45 percent are less than a year old!! Spread the word...pass it around!!

RANDOM PEOPLE KEEP CALLING MY CELL PHONE!! snarls one from VA, one from NY, one from NC, and one from PA. why are they calling me?? if you are from any of these areas and like calling random people, stop. that guy from NY got me in trouble when my phone rang in trig class. of course, the ONE day i forget to turn my phone to silent...sigh

I hate being a freshman. I hate it. HATE. IT. why can't you just go straight from 8th grade to 10th?? that way no seniors shove you in a toilet. not that that's happened to me or anything, but...whatever. Actually, i have several friends who are seniors, and they are very nice. Much nicer than the rest of the freshmen or the sophomores. in general. whatever.

My Lifelong Goal in 3 Steps:
1. Become famous.
2. Create reality show to find fang look- and act-alike.
3. Marry the winner.

Favorite flock member besides Fang: NUDGE!! she's so sweet!!

Favorite vampire besides Jasper: Alice!! i am JUST like her, according to this personality quiz: http:///twilight-quiz

Flock member i am most like: Well, i'm kind of a combination of traits from most everyone. I talk a lot like nudge. I am an extreme pyro like Iggy and Gazzy. I have the same sense of humor as Max and i am also a control freak like her. My teachers think i'm an innocent little angel like, well, Angel, and like Fang, i am an excellent harmonica player (lol!!).

Vampire i am most like: Most definitely Alice. Seriously. she's so random. if she was real we would be best friends.

It annoys me when people say that twilight is emo or goth or whatever. I say that, and people go, "well, i mean at first it was, then all the preppy girls got into it." then i say, "i read it before it was huge, and i'm the complete opposite of emo/goth." unless you know any emo/goth kids who voluntarily painted their bedroom pepto-bismol pink.

Even though i like so-called emo things, like black nail polish/eyeliner, Twilight, and MCR, i am the exact opposite of emo.

I once had a debate with my cousin about who was the best boy band of all time. go backstreet boys!! NSYNC sux.

My latest obsession: Youtube. i liked it before, but now its a full-fledged OBSESSION. i spend hours each day watching random videos.

The BIGGEST mistake someone has ever made around me: Giving me one of those ginormous pixy stix...tee hee...

If you're looking for a good time, play charades with the drama club. seriously. trust me on this one.

EVERYTHING in the world relates to milk. once at lunch me and my friends were playing the word association game and EVERYTHING we could relate to milk, from "car" to "pole" to "cockroach."

You know what annoys me? When people pair iggy with either their OC's or nudge. ESPECIALLY with Nudge. Niggy or Nudgy or Idge or whatever you want to call it is just plain WRONG. HE'S NOT THAT ROMANTICALLY VERSIATILE, PEOPLE!! I think that, when he's paired with anyone, it should be with Ella.

Favorite commercial: That hulu commercial with alec baldwin. SO. FUNNY. what? you haven't seen it? then watch it. NOW. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m71m-LBqFQ. way better than any of those other ones.

I had the best english class EVER in 8th grade. Seriously. We had dance parties and gladiator battles, plus we got candy. and bagels from PANERA. mmmmmmm...(mouth waters)

You know you're obsessed with TWILIGHT when you see a red Volvo in the school parking lot and yell indignantly at the closest person--usually someone you've never seen before in your life--"No!! Volvos are supposed to be silver!! anything else goes against the laws of the universe!!" Hypothetically, of course. Tee hee.

I have pledged to not post anymore copy-paste thingamajiggys. They make up more than half my profile.

I have broken that pledge many times over. Oops.

Once me and my brother had a bread fight cuz we were bored.

I am addicted to sprinkles. Seriously. I get high off of them.

The BEST thing that ever happened to me: My mom read twilight. now she buys all kinds of twilight stuff. for instance, the day the DVD came out, i wasn't home, so she went to target and bought it, then we watched it when i got home.

I prefer coke to pepsi.

Guess what i learned? if you're already depressed, DON'T watch RENT!! even if it is one of the best movies of all time!!

When i grow up i shall build my house and make every wall a dry erase board. that will be so fun...and i shall paint it glow-in-the-dark. according to my brother: "the neighbors will shoot you." tee hee...cant say i disagree...

i learned from "lord of the rings" that being human is REALLY boring. i'd rather be human in middle earth, true...but being human is still boring.

i DESPISE unnecessary capitalization!! note: caps lock IS in fact essential.

I ran with scissors, and lived! Take that, false advertising!

I am obsessed with rainbows.

I love ice cream and cookies.

The meaning of life is 42. We had a discussion about the meaning of life in 7th grade science class and we looked it up on wikipedia. that was the answer. It might have changed by now, though. yep, just checked. whatever.

Sometimes i like to randomly talk with a foreign accent. or in french.

I have ADHD: Automatic Death from Hyperness Disorder.

I wish i had an opposable nose. LONG STORY.

Rule of thumb: If you are given colored pencils to help you on a test, why on earth would u use a regular pencil to fill in the answers? Only 2 people in my class actually used colored pencils, and i was one of them. It makes no sense to me.

Other rule of thumb: Rule of thumb for virtually any word in the English language: No matter what word it is, it will be better if you add ish, ness, ful, or ly to the end of it. Or, even better, any combination of the four. Example: take the word yay. Now add ful to it. You get yayful, right? Well, now add ness to it. YAYFULNESS!! See? Now isn't that better than just plain yay?

The Declaration of Independence summed up in 5 words: King bad. We want free! (its really easy to get bored in 8th grade american history...flufferbunny, anyone??)

I'm obsessed with paperclips. it's kind of creepy.

I WISH I WAS A HOBBIT!!

still recovering from 7th grade on the bus...bus driver...iPod...speakers...opera music...fetal position...

I have very varied tastes in music. For example, my favorite artists are Cute is What We Aim For, Taylor Swift, Superchick, Relient K, Fireflight, Flyleaf, Vanessa Carlton, kelly Clarkson, Avril Lavigne, Matchbox 20, the Goo Goo Dolls, Boys Like Girls, Fall Out Boy, Daughtry, and Carrie Underwood. A little bit of everything. Plus i like musicals. btw, the order changes every other day, so it's not in any specific order.

Current favorite song: Love Story, Taylor Swift. Wait til tomorrow, though...it will be different i guarantee.

This Explains a LOT: I have the same birthday as "Weird Al" Yankovic.

I like waffles.

I like telling blond jokes.

I LOVE SHINY THINGS!! AND PAPERCLIPS!! WHICH ARE SHINY!! unless they're covered in plastic, in which case THEY ARE COLORFUL!! I ALSO LOVE FUZZY THINGS!!

I have a love-hate relationship with horror stories, especially murder mysteries. They're so good, but they freak me out and i can't sleep.

The thing i am most afraid of is serial killers. The thing that is in second place of my fearfulness is closets because that's where serial killers hide in books and movies. That's why i always have to keep closet doors open. I can't sleep if my closet door is closed. Plus, vicki told me a story about how her grandma once went to bed and heard something in her closet, called 911, and there was a guy in there. eep.

MICHAEL CLAY THOMPSON IS THE HATED ONE!! if u have no idea who that is, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. i CANNOT stress that enough. Grammar...fetal position...once he came to my school and diagrammed EVERY SENTENCE in the gettysburg address. The teachers were staring at him worshipfully, while most of the students were asleep. my bff and i could only stay awake by doing thumb wars with each other...best out of...um...207, i think we lost count at.

I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THE INTERNET!!

I like musicals.

Believe it or not, history class actually is good for something, such as seeing R-rated movies (okay, only one) or just plain hilarious ones. At least until 9th grade western civ (except the day we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail). my teacher's a genius, but its still boring. although some of the stuff she teaches us is just so random it's funny...like the fact that Julius Caesar was bi. and so was shakespeare. oh wait, i learned that in lit. whatever.

my favorite flavors of candy are blue raspberry & strawberry. i also like sour green apple and watermelon.

I must always be chewing gum, which is a problem in school. Oh wait--no it's not!! Who doesn't like to circumvent the rules?? Circumvent is such a cool word...

SPONGEBOB IS AWESOME!! My favorite episode is the one where he and patrick steal the balloon on national free balloon day...and my second favorite is the one where mr krabs builds a hotel.

I think nuts are gross, despite the fact that i hang out with them on a regular basis.

DORA THE EXPLORER IS EVIL!! she is slowly taking over the world and no one is noticing!! this is a bad thing!! JOIN ME TO SLAY HER AND SMITE HER INTO THE DUST!!

I HAVE ACTUALLY MET ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS!! CINDA WILLIAMS CHIMA!! I GOT A BOOKMARK SIGNED!! it was so freakin cool...she was guest judging a writing competition i was participating in...they announced her and me and my bff gave her a standing ovation...then we went up to talk to her after the awards ceremony...and she signed a bookmark for me!! W00T!!

I believe conformity is for losers.

My best friend is obsessed with milk.

Copy and paste things are drugs--they're bad for you and you know it, but you still keep coming back to them and can't help it.

I think gym should be an elective class and if you don't take gym, you get naptime (aka study hall). especially 9th grade gym, which is really more like boot camp.

My iPod is my most prized possession. but i'm running out of room on it. & i like just upgraded mine like a year ago. i need one of those 160-gig videos...dont have 2 worry about that with that one...

If I dance, people around me get injured.

Plums are purple.

My favorite color is pink.

My brother is obsessed with mythology. & i had 2 read a mythology book 4 summer reading & tried 2 pay him 2 read it for me but he wouldnt. grrrrrrr...

I want my awning back!!

I like naming inanimate objects.

I believe everything sounds better with an evil laugh.

i hate biology. i'm dreading may, when i have 2 dissect a fetal pig. yes, i am completely serious. dude, my mom was a nursing major, and she had to do that in college!! i'm like wth??

I am in love with Fang, so hands off. He is MINE!!

THE CURE FOR COOTIES according to lanna-misssunshine who i am crediting so I CANNOT BE SUED!!

The cure for cooties is effective in 5 easy steps:

Step 1: You must paint yourself from head to elbow in black sparkly paint!

Step 2: Once you are all sparkly and stuff you must remove your shoes and proceed to step three!

Step 3: You must then proceed to bathe with 6 eccentric cacti and one Russian mountain goat…

Step 4: Once you have successfully bathed for at least 66 minutes you must then shake it like a salt shaker.

Step 5: When all the other steps are completed, then and only then should you dye your hair one of the colours of the rainbow… although pink and blue shall work best.When all 5 steps are completed you shall be cootie-free!!

How To Make Chocolate Squid Cookies: (LONG STORY)

Basic background: Renate says, "I want a chocolate chip cookie." Jen-fer: "What? A chocolate squid cookie?" Me: "She said chocolate chip cookie, doofus." Jen-fer: "Ohhh that makes sense. I'm just like how would you make that? Just make the squid eat chocolate chips until it becomes chocolate flavored?" Renate: "No, you do this (describes the process with a completely straight face)" Me: "This is officially the weirdest conversation i have ever heard in my life."

Step 1: Do not make the squid eat chocolate chips. This is a waste of time.

Step 2: Kill the squid.

Step 3: Cut a hole in the squid.

Step 4: Stuff the squid full of chocolate chips until you cannot squeeze in any more.

Step 5: Enjoy!! or do what i did upon hearing this: XP

haha...i love my friends...but they're dorks :-)

Cool Websites:

Quotes

YouTube

GifsZone

FictionPress

MiniClip

IMDb

Twilight Teez

Stephenie

(FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!)

The Dumb Blond Test (i still cant tell...actually i'm not blond, but...still really funny)

(be afraid...be very afraid)

Friendship v. 2.0

None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship.

1. When you are said, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Memorable Quotes from Me and People I Know:

On sugar:

Me: "I get drunk on sugar and high on sprinkles. Something is seriously wrong here."

Me: "I think we're on sugar high."(pause) "I'm getting more pop."

me: "Ugh, I don't feel well. I'm too sick to eat" (you'd get this better if you knew me) kid in class: "Who want's a donut?" me: "Ooh! Me! Me!"

teacher: "Anyone want candy? (holds up pixy stix)" me: "Yay! Pure sugar!"

(explanation for this next one: every quarter of the school year in middle school wich i am now done with (yayfulness!!), we take a different specials class. in one of them taken only in sixth and seventh grades, at the end of the quarter, we have this auction where candy is auctioned off. In sixth grade, i bought all the fun dips.) teacher: (holds up fun dip) "Bidding?" me: (raises hand very fast) teacher: "They're all staring at you like you have some sort of history with fun dips!"

"The best adjective is 'shiny.' The best noun is 'candy.' Therefore, the best thing in life is shiny candy!!"--me, talking to myself again. NO!! IT'S THOSE VOICES!! HELP!!

Me: "Is that...is that...CANDY?"

Me: (at grocery store) "OOH!! SUGAR!!" my mom: "Oh, no. We are NOT going down that aisle."

Jul: "Mingle is an awesome word!! Its like bingo and pringle with an 'm'!!" (this IS in fact sugar related...she was drunk on pop...scary, scary image...)

On the Meaning of Life:

(i fall off the bed at my friend julianna's house) "Ah! I speared myself with a headband! I am dead!!" ( i look under the bed) "No! I changed my mind! I have found the meaning of life!" (i hold up foam ball in the shape of the earth) "SQUISHY EARTH BALL!!"

then: (i drop squishy earth ball under bed) "NOO!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!" (i lean over so my legs are on the bed but my head is looking under the bed) "MY LIFE!!" (i fall off the bed) "OUCH!!"

"The Meaning of life is 42! Wikipedia says it, so it must be true."--believe it or not, my 7th grade science teacher, who is AWESOME even if she is a gum nazi

On Violence/Evilness/Other things that cause pain:

schon: "When i say cranky, i mean cranky enough to maim and hurt."

Me: "AAHH!! DON'T ATTACK ME!!" (i forgot what brought this up.)

(in history we are making fun of king george III during the american revolution while the teacher isn't looking.) me: (in british accent) "Oh, these colonists will not pay my ridiculous taxes!! Soldiers, go kill them all until they give me my taxes!!" jul: "Um, that doesn't make sense. how can you pay them if ur dead?"

"Whee! I have slidy shoes!!" (i slide across the floor with my new slidy shoes) (i fall down on my butt) "Owie!!" (my friends start laughing at me)

Me: "I swear, i exist solely for the entertainment of you people."

jul or petunia i cant remember who: (hurts me for some reason) me: "STOP CAUSING ME PAIN!!"

petunia: "I'm making the kitty on my folder a devil. see, i'm giving him horns and a pitchfork and a devil tail, whatever its called." me: "It's a pokey tail!!"

me: "I'M AN EMO ESKIMO WITH AN EMO DEATH GLARE!!"

Drev: "why are you giving me a death glare?" me: "i am??"

Mr. C: "Does anyone know what the name Stalin means? No? It means Man of Steel!!" Me: "OOOH!! is that what they call superman in russia?"

Dad: "Do you guys have nothing better to do?" Michael: "Hey we're having fun!!" Me: "Oh yeah i forgot--we're communists. we're not allowed to have fun."

On Hott Guys:

"I always wanted you to be drooling over a guy. I just never wanted them to be fictional."--renate after i read maximum ride and fell deeply in love with fang

(ditto with jasper/edward)

Me: "I wuv the Silver Surfer!! He's shiny!!" (okay, so he's not hott (or even just regular hot) but he's SHINY!! doesnt that count for something?)

me and renate at random intervals throughout the day we watched the patriot: "They killed the cute guy!!"

jul: "How cute is he on a scale of one to Fang?" Me: "Slightly sub-Fang"

On fruit:

Petunia: (plays with jul's clementine orange thing) "IT'S AN ORANGE!!" jul (who has some weird kind of hangup with the fact that people (Petunia) don't call the orange by its correct name): "IT'S A CLEMENTINE!!" Petunia: (i think just messing with jul's head, but who really knows?) "Oh, a valentine!!"

and then on valentine's day, jul brought us all oranges/clementines/valentines. it was pretty funny.

jazzy: (takes my plum and starts hitting it on the table, smelling it, and other weird things like that) everyone else: (looks at her oddly) me: "What are you doing?" jazzy: "Trying to figure out what this is. What is it, a plum or something?"

On snow:

Me: THE SKY IS FALLING!! amy: OH NO!! jul: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?? me: LET'S GO WATCH CHARLIE THE UNICORN AND THEN ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS WILL DISAPPEAR!! (jul and amy stare at me, evidently disturbed) (long pause) jul: I am so putting this in my profile!! me: no, i am! jul: no, i am!! me: me!! jul: me! (amy: blah!) me: me!! (amy: blah!) jul: me! (amy: blah!) me: me!! (amy: blah!) jul: me! (amy: blah!) me: me!! (amy: blah!) jul: me! (amy: blah!) me and jul: SHUT UP!! amy: blah!!

Me: "In a perfect world, it would only snow from december to mid-february."

Brother: "I hope there's a snow day tomorrow." Me: "I don't." Brother: "why??" me: "cuz then we'll use them all up and won't have them for april when we really need them."

The sad part is, that is actually very true. the curse of living near the great lakes.

From the fall play at my school, not actually about it:

Courtney: "I just really like making out with people!"

Courtney: "If Cody wasn't so horny, i would think he was gay."

Nick: "This is the best cast EVER. and that is completely unbiased!!"

Cody: (walking into the girls' dressing room) "someone better be naked!!"

Kayleigh: "I have to wear a fatsuit. This should be interesting." (especially because she's so tiny lol)

Kayleigh: (puts on black hood) "I am Death."

Lily: "I just stared death in the face...and LIVED!! And i took a picture!!"

Courtney: (puts hair in ponytail on top of head) "whee!! look at my hair!!" Cody: "If you weren't attractive, no one would talk to you."

Cassidy: "There is a half-naked cowboy in our bathroom."

Nicole: (plays with costume crew's scissors and cuts up a piece of paper with them. clearly enjoys it.) Dyllan: (finds scissors and cuts up a burger king bag. clearly having more fun than nicole.) Me: "What is it with you people and scisors?" Dyllan: "They're spring loaded!!"

Sami: (curls hair) "Wow!! My hair looks great!!" Me: "It does!! it looks excellent!!" Sami: "Excellent!!" Me: "It's just..." Sami: "Excellent!!"

Sami: "I am Drill Ninja!!"

Me: "I would help if i wasn't having so much fun laughing at you guys."

Dyllan: "Look at my converse line!!" sami: "What the hell??"

Cody: "It is impossible to take you seriously."

Cody: "What's up?" Me: "The ceiling." Jul: "Hey!! That's my line!!" Me: "It was my line way before it was your line. Since like, sixth grade." Cody: "Well it's been my line since sixth grade, which was actually 3 years before you were in sixth grade. I win."

Sami: (steals my drill) "Ha!!" Me: "Curses! Foiled again!!" Cody: "That actually is my line." Me: "Okay, you win...this time..."

Vicki: "Hey look, 2 kids wearing Obama masks!!" Anna: "Only one is wearing an Obama mask, Vicki..."

Dyllan: (practically empties can of hairspray on his head) Me: "How many cans of hairspray have you used up since this whole thing started?" Dyllan: "um, none?" Lisy: "They probably just go out and buy more to replace the cans he uses up so that he doesn't feel bad about using it all."

Me: "Dyllan, you probably will never use this much hairspray in your life ever again."

Maggie: "I live for 'that's what she said's."

Natalie: "Stick bug!!"

Jake: "I got makeup on my shirt."

(next day)

Jake: "I just spilled pepsi on my jeans." Natalie: "Jake, you have a crisis every day. What's next?"

Courtney: (tries on costume) "I look like a carpet." Me: "Actually, i think you look more like a couch."

Joe: "You guys are pathetic excuses for human beings."

Lance: "I (CENSORED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE) hate you people. Stupid elephants."

Dolar: "Gina, I don't wish ill on you." Gina: "um...thanks?"

Anderson: "Don't make me get Cody out here to show you how to be girly."

Anderson: (to me and Courtney) "BE!! BITCHIER!!"

Natalie: "you are my favorite silky-haired freshman."

Me: "i didn't know that paint could squirt so far." Dyllan: "It was like a parabola or something." Kayleigh: "That had to be at least 15 feet." Sami: "More like 20, i think."

Nicole: "i think it's a rule that to be a drama kid at this school, you have to be a bad driver."

This may be true. Both Cody and Nicole have gotten lost on the way to school before (cody lives about 30 seconds away from the school--all he has to do is turn left and drive straight until he gets to the school--so i dont know how he managed that), Nicole is not allowed to drive anyone anywhere because according to her parents "she is already endangering one life while driving and she doesn't need to put anyone else at risk," Courtney and Cody both seem to enjoy U-turns...i could go on and on. Maybe I'll break with tradition and be a good driver. Let's hope so...=)

From trig class:

Mardell: "number B looks hard!!"

Victor: "How do you do number C?"

Really, it's a wonder that these people actually made it to trig. Or second grade, for that matter. hehe...funny image...can you imagine trying to fit a couple of 17-year-old guys into second-grader desks and chairs?

Mardell: (on Obama winning the election) "it's not the white house anymore. now its the black house!!"

Cheerleader whose name I don't know: "Which way does the less than sign point?"

Renee: "That's the dumbest thing ever. Why would u get a suspension for skipping school? Clearly you don't wanna be there anyway!"

Quotes from Zubin, who deserves his own category:

Zubin: "I love being racist."

Zubin: "Someone got attacked by turkeys in the metroparks."

Zubin: "You know how some people have alpaca farms? Well i want a great dane farm. i think that would be the coolest thing ever." ian: "You are a dork. I want a Dakota Fanning farm." Me: "..." Zubin: "Now that's just creepy." Anna: "I want to move."

When i was telling Renate about this via text message, she's like, "What's a dakota fanning?" I'm like "..." haha she's really not as dumb as she appears :-)

From French class:

Maria: "Nate!! you got a haircut!! no!!" sammie: "you look kinda like the beatles." nate: "so i went from napoleon dynamite to the beatles. i am confused."

emch: "i just got schooled in german."

Sammie and Anna: (talk about some feature on myspace where apparently you can make a little virtual baby) Maria: "Hey, i want to make a baby!! how do you make a baby??" emch: "Maria!!"

Sam: (taps on back wall) emch: "sam!! what do you think youre doing?" sam: "the people on that side of the wall tapped on it first!! i was communicating using morse code!!"

Nate: "today's word of the day is sonic boom, which is 'double bang.'" (writes it on board) Danyel: "that's what she said!!"

Nate: (looks at picture in french book) "did you know that the eiffel tower grew a head?" emch: "it's a power ranger. i mean a transformer. whatever."

John: "i don't know why they put me in french. i signed up for german."

(a week later)

emch: "why are you still here?" john: "i don't know!! i signed up for spanish, i know it!!"

Sam: "Mr. Emch, someone made you a myspace. It has really funny pictures of you on it. A lot of people comented on it saying that they don't like you, but i like you a lot. I just wanted you to know that."

me: "today i learned how to say "breakdance" in french." renate: "how?" me: "SMURF!!"

no, seriously. that is french for breakdance. smurf. i know.

Rando:

Dyllan: "This is denise. She has a face. But only on Tuesdays."

Me: "finding nemo is the best movie ever made." gina: "no way. lord of the rings." me: "Are you serious?? Nemo pwns Frodo any day."

Nick: "If hell is full of gay guys and Hitler, then it's a party!" Gina: "Wouldn't that kind of defeat the purpose of hell?"

Me: "Q is an awesome number."

Petunia: "I suddenly hate the letter 2!!"

Me: "Darkness is my friend, and i don't care how creepy that makes me sound!!"

me: "Hello, Stephy!!" stephy: "Do i know u?" me: "No." stephy: "Then why r u talking 2 me?" me: "I know u." stephy: "Stalker" (at the same time) me: "I'm your conscience!!" (both of us laugh) me: "I'm your stalkery conscience!! Be afraid!!"

Ian who scares me: "Eyeliner is spiffy and skittles are yum."

REVELATION: every kid i know named ian scares me. This Ian happens to actually scare me the least of all the Ians.

schon: (confiscates banana) kid whose banana was stolen: "Hey, that's my banana!" schon: "No, it's my banana now." kid: "What are you going to do with it?" schon: "Lots of things!" (acts out movements with banana as she says them) "It's a smile, it's a frown, it's a gun, it's a phone, it's a horn..."

jul--"I just saw the ugliest person in the world." me--"did u look in the mirror?"

alexa: (pointing at picture in science book) "Hey look! Mooses!" me: "no, those are caribou." Alexa: (reading caption) "No, they're reindeer!"

me: "Ugh, i am so tired. I just want to die." renate: "Me, too." amy: (running in the room) "I am in the happiest mood of my life!"

me: "I can't wait until i'm famous and can be quoted on google!"

jul: (draws wings on either side of a box that has the hinge theorem in geometry on it) me: "it's a flying hinge theorem!!"

sam: "If someone was afraid to touch something that someone else touched, would you call them germophobic?" me: "Yes." alexa, who sam was clearly talking about: "I'M NOT GERMOPHOBIC!!" me: "I would also call them paranoid." alexa: "I'M NOT PARANOID!!" me: "I'd also say they were in denial." alexa: "I'M NOT IN DENIAL!!"

In Geometry (when we have homework every day, NO MATTER WHAT), when we had a sub: jul: "We have... no homework? IT'S A MIRACLE!" me at the same time: "IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!"

(during study hall) petunia, looking around: "How come nobody's sitting by us?" jul: "'cause they don't like us." me at the same time: "cuz we're too cool for them."

me while watching lotr #3 (when the dead people come and start fighting): "YAY!! DEAD PEOPLE!!" (starts laughing like a maniac)

Petunia: (writing on her history worksheet thing about "trade in the united states during the pre-revolution period") me: (looking at her paper) "What are 'pishments?'" renate: "i meant 'shipments!!'"

me and jul: discussing an email i sent her that involved a pink pacman with sharp teeth, scary eyebrows, and a mohawk where apparently the mohawk kinda started floating in cyberspace. me: "WHY CAN'T IT BE A REGULAR MOHAWK??" amy: "Is there such thing as a regular mohawk?" me: "Yeah, one that's not floating."

btw, i named the pacman sanjaya.

Stories I am Currently Working On:

The Upper Hand

--Maximum Ride. Two girls. So alike, and yet so different. What ties them together? What's going on? Can Max and the flock figure it out? FAX later. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!! I BEG OF YOU!! The Actual Chapter 16 is up!! Sadly, though, i have writers block/extreme laziness disorder. (WB/ELD)

Only Six--Maximum Ride. How can the flock have wings if there is no School? And why do they, anyway? What the heck is their purpose?? FAX!! PLZ R&R!! Chapter 4 is UP!! CHEER!! Chapter 5 may or may not be coming soon. Let's pretend it is.

Winter Sports: Cullen Style: With nightingale07. random twilight texting story that involves sledding, driveway-shoveling, skiing, ice skating, and other winter sports. its pretty funny, i think...but then again i wrote it. Whatever. i have the odd-numbered chapters, nightingale has the even-numbered ones.

NOTE: I HAVE TAKEN DOWN MY SOUNDTRACKS FOR MAXIMUM RIDE AND TWILIGHT TEMPORARILY UNTIL I CAN RETYPE IT ALL UP!!

RANDOM STUFF THAT OTHER PEOPLE/THE VOICES IN MY HEAD TOLD ME TO PUT IN HERE:

Post this in your profile if you are against child abuse and domestic violence. SPREAD THE WORD AND ITCOULD BE STOPPED!!

~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED of, or is living with cancer.

"ACTUAL REALITY! ACT UP! FIGHT AIDS!"--spread the word!! post this in your profile. (kudos if you know what that's from)

(\_/) (")_(")
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

()_()('')_('')
Copy the bunny into your profile because its cute for something made out of curves, quotation marks, and other random things.

If for some reason every time you try 2 make bunnies, when you save ur profile, they come out looking like THAT (see above), post this in your profile.

79 percent of child abuse fatalaties occur in children younger than age 4. Post this in your profile if you are against child abuse and hope to prevent at least one more child's death.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent that woud be laughing their butts off.

98 percent of teens have tried pot. If youre one of the 2 percent that hasn't because they need all the brain cells they can get, post this in your profile

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile!

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.

98 percent of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" or "Join the circus!", copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

It is my personal belief that there are 2 kinds of girls in the world--Edward girls and Jacob girls. Unless you're me, in which case you're a Jasper girl. Put this in your profile if you are a Jasper girl, Emmett girl, Carlisle girl, etc.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Jasper from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you have ever spent 2 days straight crying, post this in your profile.

If your excuse for everything is that u were bored (and the sad part is that it's always true), post this in your profile.

If you believe that the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything actually is 42, post this in your profile.

If you don't even consider Max a boy's name anymore post this in ur profile.

If you have ever run into a door when trying to make a dramatic entrance/exit and looked around quickly saying to yourself "god i'm so glad no one saw that" and then gone and told someone about it just so you could have someone to laugh about it with, copy this into your profile.

If everyone in your grade/school is an Abercrombie/Hollister clone who cares about nothing but what happened on Gossip Girl last night except for like 10 people including you, post this in your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you've read breaking dawn & were 2 lazy 2 get rid of the above copy/paste thing put this in ur profile.

If you suffer from Internet deprivation (ID) when you are away from a wireless network for more than two consecutive days, post this in your profile.

If you or a friend occasionally suffers from book withdrawal, post this in your profile.

If it's almost always u post this in your profile.

If you've ever not eaten for a week because you didn't have time, post this in your profile.

if u love YouTube post this in your profile!!

If you think the semi-colon is completely usless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. (Like-HECK YES! iT'S WHAT I wrote to Santa for)

If when you have a child, you'd name them Fang, Iggy, or Gazzy if they are a boy or Max, Nudge, or Angel if they are a girl, copy this into your profile.

If when you get a dog you'd name them Total, post this in your profile.

When your boyfriend proposes to you, do you plan on saying something along the lines of: "If only you'd change your name to Fang/Jasper!" If yes than copy this onto you're profile.

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

IMPORTANT: IF YOU HAVE ALWAYS HATED JACOB BLACK AND WISH HE WOULD DIE IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE AND THINK HE SERIOUSLY NEEDS A LFE AWAY FROM BELLA AND HE IS THE ONLY BAD THING ABOUT STEPHANIE MEYER'S BOOKS copy and paste this into your profile!!thank you!!

if u like jacob better after reading breaking dawn but were still 2 lazy 2 take this one down 2, post this in ur profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had an email conversation with someone and had only slightly less than fifteen conversations going in the same message, post this in your profile. (with nightengale07. we had normal formatted conversations, conversations in parentheses, conversations in asterisks, conversations in dashes...well u get the picture)

If you've reread TWILIGHT over 10 times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread chapter 23 of TWILIGHT over 12 times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don't even consider Max a boy's name anymore post this in ur profile.

If you are obsessed with over 30 characters from books...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you look at the world almost entirely in terms of what you can put in your profile... post this in your profile =)

If you get mad when people put copy-paste things in their profiles as bold because then you have to un-bold them when u put them in yours (or vice versa) post this in your profile.

if u luv hobbits post this in ur profile

if you love exclamation points post this in your profile!!

If whenever you see or hear the word "Fang" you freak out and have a small fit or forget where you are and start dreaming about him because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fang is hotter than Orlando Bloom/Zac Efron/any other hot (considered by teen girls everywhere) guy in the media combined to you, post this in your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you'v ever put in a million changes in your profile and then u forgot to save them, post this in your profile

If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Maximum Ride, Twilight), copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are obsessed with paperclips post this in ur profile

If you have over 300 novels in your room and think its odd people gawk at them, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever done a whole "oh no you didn't/oh yes i did" convo with someone for some stupid reason and then forgotten why you were even doing it, post this in your profile.

If you have an extensively sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, post this in your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (but how do you know how much i like chocolate?? bwahahahaha...)

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate snow, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that over half of all you say/write/think doesn't come out right and is complete stupidity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you really need to stop doing that, post this in your profile.

If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile

If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered who was the first person who thought "I'll just squeeze these dangly things on this cow and drink whatever comes out" post this in your profile.

If you have ever wondered who was the first person who thought "I'll just stare at this chicken and then eat whatever comes out of its butt", post this in your profile.

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile

If you have ever told anyone that you can walk and read without running into anything, then promptly ran into a tree/ park bench / ice cream stand/ stapler, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever (almost) taken over the world, but were distracted by something shiny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you truely believe, there is a Jasper Whitlock Hale somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Jasper Whitlock Hale), copy this into your profile. (for the record, whenever something says "edward" i change it to "jasper" cuz jasper is infinitely betterer than edward. better personality, hotter, etc.)

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever gotten a bad case of poison ivy all over your feet post this in your profile.

If you do NOT think astrology is cheesy and no good, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given momet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know how to spell and always remember the names of authors that you read over a year ago and haven't read since, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you generally crash on your couch even when your bed is free, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile (you don't wanna hear that story)

If you've ever been in the room when someone or something crashed into a window post this in your profile. (poor birdie...)

If you have encountered a lot of really dumb birds in your life, post this in your profile. (how many birds have YOU encountered that have crashed into a roller coaster train??)

if someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you only like to copy but hate pasting, copy this but don't paste it into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, post this in your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If a friend has ever made you swear that at a sleepover you will stay up till at least 4 am and then been the first one to fall asleep at, like, 9 (coughstephaniecoughcoughCOUGH), post this in your profile.

If Nationwide is not on your side, post this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills worshipfully, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her worshipfully then copy and paste this into your profile

if you have ever repeatedly ran into a glass door copy this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride and/or Twilight, copy and paste this onto your profile.

if you are anti-social sometimes (or all the time) copy this into your profile

if you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

If you think the "add your name to the list" copy-paste things are annoying, post this in your profile and don't add your name to any list.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write insert name of vampire here is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, Maximum Ride, and fanfiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours striat WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your freinds, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." Crazy is when you claim you can walk on water and then get your best friend to hold you by your waist in the air and you move your legs in a walking movement (It works!!) Crazy is when trip over yourself and fall of a eight foot deck and brake your arm,Then laugh. Crazy is when you get bored in history and draw people/bunnies on your fingers, make ur friends do it to, and make them go 2 a tea party, then get yelled at by your teacher and then asked if we were feeling okay. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your mother has ever called you mentally insane and she didnt look like she was kidding, post this in your profile. (actually, my mom also calls me bipolar and schizophrenic. she is an abusive parent.)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile.

If you've ever created a new form of rock paper scissors, post this in your profile.

If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got sidetracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile. (she even has my same name!!)

If you've ever met someone who is your complete opposite, copy and paste this in your profile. (our birthdays: october 23, april 23.)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you know someone who survived, is living with, or has died of cancer, post this in your profile.

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If you are obsessively, uncontrollably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.

If you find yourself making fanfictions of your life/your friends lives/random people you know's lives/random people you know of's lives, post this in your profile.

If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile.

If rainbows are wonderful (which they ARE), post this in your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you really need to stop doing that or else soon people won't be able to see the scroll bar on the side of the screen, post this in your profile..

If every time someone asked you about what maximum ride was about you gave them a crazy look saying am-I-really-hanging-out-with-you type of look and you don’t care copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are a pyromaniac and scare everyone you know, post this in your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a song stuck in your head for 2 months straight, post this in your profile.

If you can't stand that song now, post this in your profile.

If you've ever studied for a math final and for a month afterwards were thinking of everything in terms of what you were studying, post this in your profile. (9:49 PM equals 21. don't ask. you win if you figure out what i did to get that.)

If you'll take first watch, copy and paste this is you profile (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!!)

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've accidentally called one of your siblings or friends Max, Fang, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Angel or Total copy and paste this is your profile.

If you've ever fantasized about going to California, finding the School, and forcing the whitecoats at gunpoint to give you wings or else, post this in your profile.

If you or your best friend (or both) is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character (Max) so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend (FANG!!), copy this into your profile

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character (Alice) so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend (JASPER!!), copy this into your profile

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy this into your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped OVER a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, post this in your profile.

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!!)

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If your locker needs cleaning on the first day of school, post this in your profile.

If you dream in maximum ride like every night post this in your profile. (once i dreamed i was Max, but couldn't fly any higher than like 2 feet off the ground for long periods of time. it was really weird.)

If you dream in twilight on the nights where you don't dream in maximum ride, post this in your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you've acted out funny lines you've come up with for your characters without noticing it and have received many odd looks/comments.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think insulting people is a conditioned reflex.

If you know the Bone Dance from Hannah Montana by heart, post this in your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you've ever hugged/kissed/licked a tree.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If you are called 'weird' at least 5 times a day, post this in your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just--gasp!--give that Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

Same with Lucky. If you think that the kids should let him have some Lucky Charms, post this in your profile.

If you think the Cocoa puffs bird should go to rehab, post this in your profile.

If you think Fred should go back to preschool so he can learn to share with Barney, post this in your profile.

If you aren't dead yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you likely will be soon because of insulting people too many times, post this in your profile.

If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.

If you think the world would be easier if everyone was on fanfiction.net because--judging from the copy-paste thingys in the profiles--everyone dares to be different and doesn't care what people think, post this in your profile.

If you randomly sing this part of Umbrella, copy and paste this into your profile: "Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh."

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people then copy this into ya profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that's weird. If you agree then copy this into your profile.

If you argue with yourself and lose post this in your profile.

If you or a friend is both schizo and possessed (coughamycoughcough), post this in your profile.

If you hear voices of book characters in your head, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hear voices in your head (not of book characters) and aren't afraid 2 admit it, post this in your profile.

If you never fall down the stairs, only up, post this in your profile.

If you are a control freak, post this in your profile.

If you've ever put your head on the body of a clipart thing just for the heck of it, post this in your profile. (IT WAS FOR A SCHOOL PROJECT OK?? what's wrong with leprechauns, i ask you??)

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports in under two hours, copy this into your profile.

If you read The Final Warning in under an hour, thought it sucked, and then read it again, post this in ur profile.

If you read Max in under 2 hours and thought it was INFINITELY better than The Final Warning, post this in your profile. (it actually has a plot!! its not a whole goverrnment scheme to infiltrate our minds to brainwash us into stopping global warming!!)

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or a friend chews gum and blows bubbles in class when the teacher has gum radar and is against all things having to do with gum, post this in your profile.

If you are completely obsessed with High School Musical no matter what anyone says, post this in your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus copy this into your profile.

If you seriously need 2 stop it with the copy-paste things, post this in ur profile.

If these copy-paste things are comparable 2 drugs 4 u (u know they're bad for u, but your addicted anyway), post this in ur profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

So...there you go. My extremely long-winded, rambling, somewhat pointless profile. The End. La di dah.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Rules For Dealing With The Cullens by Sapphire Vial reviews
The unwritten rules have now been written with commentary from all the characters. Rule #1: don't bleed.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,291 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 3/26/2017 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Complete
When a Winged Girl Meets a Magic Boy by Alyson May reviews
Harry Potter is playing Quidditch when he collides with who else but Maximum Ride. What happens when a mutant freak learns a whole new meaning to the word weird? Possible pairings later! Rated T for safety.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 22 - Words: 37,586 - Reviews: 680 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 4/22/2012 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Harry P., Max
Gregor the underlander? by RenJean reviews
by reading the title you can guess that Gregor goes back to the underland. But there a new problem and his name is Mark. Mark will do anything to become king. like i said, Anything
Underland Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,936 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/18/2010 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Gregor, Luxa
Never Loved by CStardust reviews
We all know the story of Max, her laughs, rare tears, and her kiss. But what we don't know is the other Max's story... Max II. There is more to her then what we know. What about HER laughs, frequent tears, and... Kiss? R&R!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 5,306 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 11/23/2007
Relocation by ObviouslyObsessed reviews
Max and her flock are captured and relocated. The scientists have taken their memories. They are sent to live in different towns and attend a normal school. What happens when Fang moves to the same school as her? Can she remember? FAX!Was WANNABE-AUTHOR92
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 95,502 - Reviews: 1764 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 9/5/2009 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Complete
Wing Me by Eharyn reviews
A brand new start:Max has no wings...until she meets Fang. Max is living a normal life until a new student, Fang arrives and appears to have wings. They have feelings for each other, and the lab finds out. Find out what happens and review! Faxness! Eharyn
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 26,192 - Reviews: 411 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 7/17/2009 - Published: 10/7/2007
10 years later by Bella Mason reviews
takes place in middle of NM what if Edward hadn't come back? If Bella had gotten older, just as he wanted?And what if they meet again?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 19 - Words: 18,197 - Reviews: 423 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 1/21/2007
Conundrum by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
After a small accident, Max and Fang can hear each other's thoughts! Oh, my, this presents a number of challenges... and what if a certain company is interested in this development? -Fax- -Complete-
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 102,806 - Reviews: 2448 - Favs: 887 - Follows: 424 - Updated: 1/11/2009 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Complete
Winter Sports: Cullen Style by TWILIGHTERSx2 reviews
What will happen when the Twilight characters get new cell phones with a wicked cool texting feature? And...it SNOWED? In FORKS? This is gonna be good... by Flufferbunny37 and nightingale07 on their new bnecsddja! R&R; make us feel loved! Or try, anyway.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,722 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/5/2008 - Published: 2/24/2008
Maximum Ride random crap by blossom993 reviews
well its random, but it has a story plot still. like the title say its random crap. FAX AND BIGGY brianna and iggy
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 8,124 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/30/2008 - Published: 10/7/2007
The Rebirth of Itex by Captain Atticus reviews
What happens when the Flock fights Itex's biggest conspiracy yet? Fax and character deaths.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 25,395 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/17/2008 - Published: 11/17/2007
Life as We Know It by Lady Asher reviews
What happened to the other mutants that were at Itex when Max and company broke out? This follows the story of a group of those people and their adventures after a taste of freedom. I ACTUALLY UPDATED! R&R, please! No rewrites this time!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,100 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/11/2008 - Published: 9/26/2007
The Happiest Place On Earth by melissamarie173 reviews
They Cullens continue their road trip after they leave the mall. They need a place to stay, at least for a little while. They come to a place and wreak their vampire havoc! Bella still isn't a vamp. Sequel to Anything is Possible at the Mall. FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 14,499 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 2/7/2008 - Published: 12/23/2007 - Complete
Family Secret Revised by mandasangeleyes reviews
Freya was the first experiment created by the Itex Corporation. Now 23, she has links to one of the flock members biologically, but which one? How will the flock deal? Read and find out! Slightly A/U, O/C incorporated into cannon. Some book 3 spoilers.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,933 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/14/2008 - Published: 12/22/2007
The Twilight Ride by Seductive Illusions reviews
Maximum Ride Twilight Crossover Max finds a book that tells the future, and she decides to follow it. Bella doesn't want cold feet, but she's getting it, and so close to her wedding, too! What will happen when Maximum Ride and Twilight clashes together?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,614 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/7/2008 - Published: 11/14/2007
Anything is Possible at the Mall by melissamarie173 reviews
They Cullens go on a roadtrip and come across a mall in southern oregon. They go in and decide to have some fun. A game of truth or dare always shakes up the day. Not your average truth or dare fanfic. Read and see. Review! Bella isn't a vamp yet.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 26,071 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 12/22/2007 - Published: 11/13/2007 - Complete
The Cure by Flame-Taw reviews
Discontinued. Possibly up for a re-write.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,512 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/9/2007 - Published: 11/28/2007
The Flock's Playlist by blossom993 reviews
song list for each character. Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, and maybe even Total
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 1,486 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/28/2007 - Published: 10/22/2007
If Max Got Drunk on Eggnog by Dragonflychaser reviews
Yet another in the Little Scenario Series! Max's eggnog craziness, and how poor Fang and all the rest of the flock react.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 416 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/25/2007 - Complete
We Don't Need Bats by Flooj reviews
What would happen if Max stumbled into the Underland and met up with Gregor and friends? Would the flock join them on their adventures? Find out. MRTUO crossover
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,540 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/24/2007 - Published: 9/4/2007
Shadow Death: College Ain't All Fraternities by LMLJeansCoEst2006 reviews
Liz is an abused teen, adopted at age three. Ten years later when the story takes place, she runs away. An Eraser kidnaps her while she is sleeping in subway tunnel, and takes her to the College.A month later, she wakes up with wings. Vampires involved...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 18 - Words: 3,187 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/24/2007 - Published: 8/8/2007 - Complete
Big Secrets by Ilovecookies15 reviews
Hey it's me, Max. Maximum Ride. I have a really big secret to tell you. You don't have to read this. In fact, maybe I shouldn't have written it. But now the deed is done, so you might as well know the truth. The truth about our story.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,754 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/13/2007 - Published: 10/14/2007
Human Experiences: Karaoke by 83Twilighter4life reviews
The Cullens are trying to give Bella as many Human Experiences as possible in the short time they have. This is what happens when Alice decides on Karaoke for her tribute. My first fanfic so please be gentle in the reviews
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 21,778 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 11/10/2007 - Published: 9/24/2007
Mutation through the Eyes of the Mutated by Proud to be an X-Nerd reviews
The story of Cassandra McFaegan and her journey through the trials of Mutation, in a world that seeks to destroy her. Will she be able to overcome the many obsticles in her path? With the help of a group called the XMen, she might have a fighting chance.
X-Men - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,087 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 10/28/2007 - Published: 4/8/2007
The Dream by Snaily reviews
Something is wrong...but what is it? Oh yeah! Max doesn't have wings! And neither does the rest of the flock. What happened? Read and Find out! FAXNESS
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 42 - Words: 37,830 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 10/26/2007 - Published: 4/23/2007
Fireworks by Caseworker-14 reviews
Post New Moon. Bella's dreams finally come true in what had once seemed like an impossible turn of events, but the Cullens are about to bite several bullets for her and they will have to pull together as a family to get through it. Will they survive? R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 215,847 - Reviews: 1586 - Favs: 701 - Follows: 274 - Updated: 10/8/2007 - Published: 7/8/2007 - Complete
If Fang Woke Up to Find All His Clothes Dyed Pink by Dragonflychaser reviews
I dub this story part of the little scenario series! Basically all the fics I write with the word if in the title. More crazy randomness, people.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 829 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/6/2007 - Complete
8 Steps on How to Make the Iggster Boogie by PrincesSarah reviews
Same as the last three times I said it: TITLE SAYS IT ALL.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/1/2007 - Complete
A Mother's Love by BlueAqua reviews
The parent's POV to how the Flock became what they are today [nominated and winner of Maximum Fanfiction Awards: Suspense]
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,558 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/26/2007 - Published: 7/24/2007
Child Of Water by 4supernaturalgirl reviews
I use to want to believe that I was born from a mermaid...and that someday that mermaid would come and save me...save me from the mettle cage I was forced to live in. But thats just a dream...and I'm to old for dreams... maybe IggyOC
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,339 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/26/2007 - Published: 5/14/2007
If Max Had a Baby Girl by Dragonflychaser reviews
Another humorous story in the scenario series! Find out what happens.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 337 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/23/2007 - Complete
If Max Had a Normal, NonTalking, NonMutant Dog by Dragonflychaser reviews
Summary would be redundant. Try reading the story instead.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/8/2007 - Complete
Iggy and Gazzy Find a Rocket Launcher! by Dragonflychaser reviews
The title says it all. Crazy randomness ensues when they find said rocket launcher. FEAR THE WEIRDNESS!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 651 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/2/2007 - Complete
Gregor and the Curse of the Fliers by emyk8881 reviews
Gregor has been home for six months now. But when Luxa appears in his laundry room he returns to the underland to fufill yet another prophecy.
Underland Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 944 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/31/2007
3 Ways to do the Impossible: Make Fang Smile by PrincesSarah reviews
My 3rd, probably not very good, attempt at a humor Fic!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Published: 8/2/2007 - Complete
5 Ways to Make Nudge Shut the HECK Up! by PrincesSarah reviews
my 3rd attemted humor fic... the title says it all!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 173 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/2/2007 - Complete
10 Ways to TOTALLY Tick Off Max! by PrincesSarah reviews
My second attempted Humor Fic! Short, and hopefully, funny! Please Review! Bambi eyes
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 216 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 11 - Published: 8/2/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Only Six reviews
There is no School. So how did the flock get their wings? And why? Why them, out of everyone in the world? What is their purpose? T for safety. FAXNESS! R&R!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,673 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/28/2008 - Published: 11/17/2007
The Upper Hand reviews
Two girls. So alike, yet so different. So mysterious. What's the connection? Can Max and the flock figure it out? FAX later! Anon reviews enabled so no excuse not to! R&R OR ELSE!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Mystery - Chapters: 17 - Words: 15,878 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/14/2008 - Published: 9/7/2007
If I Ever Met the Flock reviews
Something I wrote when i was bored. But it's true though. Well it would be if i ever did. Meet the flock, i mean. Oneshot. Please R&R!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 161 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/3/2007 - Complete