bristlefur
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Joined 07-27-07, id: 1336778, Profile Updated: 12-13-09
Author has written 6 stories for Warriors.

Yippetty! I finally got my bio up! ANYWAY...

Books I like: Alot. Pretty much any book with animals talking, with some exceptions, though not much.

Books I wouldn't read very often: I don't really know.

What are you doing now? This, smart guy.

Type your name with your elbow. Bristlefur (haha.)

Your pets: One dog, used to have three cats.

My name: Eep! A stalker!

Here are my upcoming stories!

Brambleclaw and Ashfur at the Olympics! Yes, here it is! These two legendary rivals compete with their own team for... THE GOLDEN MOUSE! and for Squirrelflight's love!

Life of a Tall star. Tallstar's life has been long pondered. HERE IT IS! And yes, I read Secrets of the Clans.

The golden warrior Book one: The sea of death. "what? wait!" I called into the puoring rain. But it was no use. Ghostpaw was gone. All his secrets were still his, and I vowed to Never, Ever reveal them.

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms

2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy

8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

12) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"

13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor

15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.

20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".

28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.

29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.

30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".

32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a
clever moneymaking concept.

34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".

43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “

47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.

51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

52.)I may not have a private army.

53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.

56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

63.) - Especially not all of them at once.

64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.

67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.

69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.

71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.

78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.

79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.

81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.

84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.

86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.

90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade

92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry

93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall

Not so famous qoutes:

The way I see it, right is wrong and wrong is just plain unrecognizable.

If I let myself go with the flow, I would be at the bottom of a waterfall by now.

If anything floats my boat, the health teachers should know that before they tell me how water is the best for me.

Turn over every stone, even though there's a good chance a scorpian will be hiding under it.

Two reasons why I'm alive: 1: I listen to my betters 2: I don't listen to my teachers.

Conclusion:

I LIKE TO SEE PEOPLE LIVE!! drools

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Warrior Idol by Gallifrey is Returning reviews
I GOT PERMISSION FROM MISTYSTREAM SOOTFUR'S LOYALTY! Yet another WarriorIdol crossover. Squirrelflight wants to win. Blackstar's making everybody miserable. Firestar's gone crazy. Oh, and did we mention Leafpool's hosting?
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 32 - Words: 55,658 - Reviews: 389 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 12/13/2013 - Published: 3/16/2007 - Leafpool - Complete
The Bramble and The Hawk by Darkeh reviews
Bramblestar and Hawkstar have taken over the Clans, and as both their ambitions grow and a prophecy is whispered on every cats' lips, three apprentices realize they alone must return two Clans to four.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 53,902 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 9/9/2009 - Published: 1/10/2008 - Bramblestar, Hawkfrost - Complete
The Spawn of Ferns and Dust by If Love Were Flowers reviews
Birchfall is having a little trouble with his brothers... Well, his older brother, who suddenly turned dotting on him. Well, it sucks for him.
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,195 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/19/2007
The Beginning of the End Original by Rainwhisker Luv reviews
The Long overdue sequel to... DUN DUN DUN! CLAWS OF A LION!
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,058 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/1/2007 - Published: 10/30/2007
The Random Stories of Randomness by Kyniska reviews
Uh yeah. Just random stupid stories about Warriors. Is FIrestar obsessed with gambling? Is Hollykit having an affair with a kittypet? Rated for slight sexuality but nothing really inapropriate. CHAPTER THREE'S UP!
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,139 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/7/2006 - Published: 6/10/2006
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Cinema Wars part 1 reviews
The Dark Forest has gone crazy, sending movies so terrible to StarClan that they may have to eat their own eyeballs to stay alive! StarClan, determined to win, has appointed a group of determined movie critics to defend themselves. Will they stay alive?
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,179 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 12/12/2009
Brambleclaw and Ashfur at the Olympic Games! reviews
Yes, here it is! These two legendary rivals compete with their own team for the GOLDEN MOUSE AND SQUIRRELFLIGHT'S LOVE! Enjoy the show and your popcorn while watching or reading
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,224 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/31/2009 - Published: 1/26/2008
The Dead and the Gone reviews
When Snowpaw is killed in battle, she arrives in a strange place halfway between life and death... can she make it back home?
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,235 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 12/20/2009
The randomness of the world! reviews
Firestar is insane, Sandstorm is over reactive, and Cloudtail is extremely bored. What will these cats do to save themselves? I hope you like my second attempt at humor. Enjoy!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,980 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/2/2009 - Published: 11/26/2008
Legend of the Lightning reviews
I never knew... I was the great great grandson of them both. I now have a choice. one, or the other... or neither?
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,036 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/29/2008 - Published: 10/25/2007
Brambleclaw goes to the doctor's reviews
Brambleclaw goes to the doctor's and he hates it! will Squirrelflight get him to go there? this is my first fanfiction and I sincerely hope you like it! COMPLETE!
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,078 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/29/2007 - Published: 8/18/2007 - Complete