Jack Hamataro Kamiya
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 07-27-07, id: 1336855, Profile Updated: 06-30-10
Author has written 6 stories for Ace Combat, School Rumble, Calvin & Hobbes, K-ON!/けいおん!, and My Little Pony.

Jack Hector Kamiya here, not my real name, but my real intials.



Real Name: Jamie (middle and last name are not your business)

Gender: Male (duh)

Date of Birth: June 17, 1989 (strangely it is the same day Ichigo's mother died, not the same year though)

Age: 21

Nationality: United States of America (kinda' obvious ain't it)

Hometown: Alexandria, Virginia

High School: Lab School of Washington

Currently Attending: Hamilton College

Ethnic Group: East Asian (Japan), Caucasion (Scottland, Wales, England, Netherlands, Germany)

E-Mail Address: datemaru@gmail.com (If you're leaving a review please don't use my email address and use the review button at the bottom of the chapters. You can leave review even if you are not a member)

What's New With Me: I am starting college now so there may be delays in the next chapter. I don't know what's going to happen for the next few days... truth be told... I'm scared.

My Personal Description: I'm 19, Asian male; black hair, dark brown eyes, and tanish skin. I like to keep my hair short because it becomes uncontrollabe and I hate when it grows over my ears. I can never seem to shave myself cleanly; I always find hairs I missed. I'm not over weight... actually I haven't gained much weight in the past 4 years. I don't have bulging muscles, but I'm in decent shape and reasonably thin... actually I'm pretty damn average. I'm one of the few people in my family who doesn't wear glasses, but I'm sure I'll have to someday (I actually I've got a think for girls who wear glasses... mmmnnnn... there might be a connection to the fact that most people in my family wearing glasses).

Sadly, I haven't been out with a girl in about three years, though the girls at my school range from wierd to frightening; the only normal ones have boyfriends already. Needless to say, I think I wait until college to start dating again. Some of the girls at my school scare me a little and they'd probably scare you too.

I'm half Japanese (Dad's side) and part Scottish, British, German, and Dutch (Mom's side). I don't really look European with my black hair and tanish-yellow skin, but I'm Asian and I'm proud of it. Though it's funny to see peoples faces when I tell them I'm part Scottish. I just got my voter card, personally I look if people don't vote we get stuck with people like Bush. I live in northern Virginia, near DC (avoid driving in DC it's like a minefield, it's dangerous, stressful, and requires a lot of careful attention, but that's my opinion).

I'm learning to speak Japanese (still working on that), I know some German (not much), and I can read L33T (better then I can speak Japanese). I'm a borderline nerd, but I'm not a social outcast. I have ADHD and ADD, but I've learned to cope with it; whatever Tom Cruise (fuck you Tom) may think, you're never cured of learning disabilities, trust me.

I love anime, history, videogames, war movies and books, but I really enjoy a good comedy or sitcom or something that makes me laugh. I also like serious stuff too like Law & Order and I'm really into global politics. I love learning about cultures, ethnic groups, languages, and religions and how they interact with each other like what's going on in Tibet or in Kosovo.


"Irony and reality aren't just things in life. Irony and reality is life." me.

"Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, brains saves both" Field Marshall Erwin Rommel; Afrika Korp Commander, Wehrmacht.

"War is hell." Major General William T. Sherman.

"Frank: I’m a real asset!
Hawkeye: You’re only off by two letters." A scene from 'The Abduction of Major Margraret Houlihan' season 5 of MASH.

" Frank, do you know what a hero is? Ninety-mine times out of a hundred, he's somebody who's tired enough and cold enough and hungry enough not to give a damn. I don't give a damn." Alan Alda as Hawkeye on MASH.

"Cosmo, Wanda, I'm huge, misunderstood, and hurting people!" Timmy screams. In response Cosmo says, "Just like the IRS."

"How do you tell a sailor from the (Soviet) Northern Fleet? He glows in the dark." Soviet Navy joke about the large numbers of nuclear-powered surface ships and submarines in their White Sea/Northern Fleet.


Full Metal Panic! (who doesn't love Sousuke and Kaname), School Rumble (Anyone who doesn't like Yakumo has problems; Tenma and Harima are so stupid, but funny as hell, actually I love the whole show), Gundam Seed, Azumanga Daioh (one of the funniest animes I've ever seen), Beck: Mongalion Chop Squad (love the music in the show), Bleach (I love the show because it's full of action and comedy), Tenchi Muyo (not the best voice acting, but funny nonetheless), Genshiken (an unusual, but very good anime and manga), The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

My Favorite Anime Characters not listed in any particular order:

Full Metal Panic: Sagara Sousuke (so funny; the stuff he does... HA HA you just have to watch the show), Testarossa Tessa, Hayashimuzi Astunobu (only appears in Fumoffu; which I loved), Kyoko Tokiwa (I have a thing for girls with glasses)

School Rumble: Harima Kenji (who doesn't love Harima, seriously who doesn't asside from Tenma), Tsukamoto Tenma (she's so funny, almost a female version of Harima), Tsukamoto Yakumo (Yakumo-chan is so hot. Go Onigiri Faction!), Tani Hayato-sensei (the teach if you don't remember and I kinda feel sorry for him, but I think his attempts to teach class 2-C is funny), Takano Akira (her ability to control everyone is both scary and impressive).

Gundam Seed: Yzak Joule (I think he's funny), Meyrin Hawk (she's cute), Andrew Waltfeld (one of the few characters that you can't really hate), personally I like that fanfics better than the show.

Azumanga Daioh: Chiyo-chan (how can you not love her), Osaka (she's just so FUNNY!), Yomi (she's hot and I kinda understand what it's like to have really annoying friends, actually I'm a lot like her, but I don't worry much about my weight), Yukari-sensei (have you ever seen the 1985 AMV on YouTube? In the line 'her two kids in high school, they tell that she's uncool' they show Tomo and Osaka. Mmmm... that might make a good fanfic... Yukari mother of Osaka and Tomo)

Bleach: Kurosaki Ichico (I usuallu don't like the main characters in most action shows, but Ichigo is cool in my opinion and nothing short of amusing) Kuchiki Rukia (she really could use drawing lessons and anger management), Ishida Uryu (strange, but cool, smart, and adds to the comedy; he would make a cute couple with Orihime), Hitsugaya Toshiro (in a word 'awesome'), Hinamori Momo (in a word 'CUTE'; and a nice couple with Hitsugaya)

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: Kyon (I enjoy his sarcastic narrations and I have never seen an anime character I have identified myself with than him), Suzumiya Haruhi (I know the type very well, she is what the girls at my school are like, but not gods and more hyper), Nagato Yuki (I don't know why I'm attracted to the petite characters)

Videogames: Ace Combat Five and Zero (I've got Four as well), U.S. Navy SEALs Socom II, Battlefield 2 (I'm known as L33Tman online), Company of Heros, Company of Heros: Opposing Fronts, Mercenaries Playground of Destruction, Men of Valor, World in Conflict (known as Piney Creek), for the PS3 I have Call of Duty 4: Modern Combat (known as PineyCreek), Assassins Creed, Rainbow Six: Vegas, Operation Flashpoint: Cold War Crisis, and Brothers in Arms.

Movies: The Naked Gun 2 1/2, Letters from Iwo Jima, Breach, The Italian Job, Band of Brothers, The Producers, Bourne Identity, Bourne Surpremacy, Bourne Ultimatum, A Brigde Too Far, Tora! Tora! Tora!

Shows: MASH, Wings (Lowell is my favorite character on this show), Cheers, Scrubs, Law & Order (shame Jerry Orbach died, he played my favorite character Lennie), Law & Order Special Victims Unit, Law & Order Criminal Intent, Family Guy, Burn Notice (one of the best shows ever), Monk

Books: 1984, Animal Farm, Of Mice and Men, All Quiet on the Western Front, Wayside School, Q is for Quarry, The Serbs: History, Myths & the Destruction of Yugoslavia, Red Storm Rising, Hunt for Red October, Patriot Games, The Cardinal in the Kremlin

Comics and Manga: Garfield, Calvin & Hobbes, Far Side, Love Hina (much better than the anime version), Megatokyo, Genshiken, Welcome to the NHK

Music and Bands: Nickelback, Billy Joel, kinda a fan of Simple Plan, T.M. Revolution (Japanese Band), Blurry by Puddle of Mudd, Shadow of the Sun by Audioslave, Let's Start Over by Boxer Racers, American Pie by Don McLean (not the shitty Modonna one, but the real American Pie), My World Down by Meister

Dislikes: fish (strangly I enjoy fishing), the Haros from Gundam Seed (how can Lacus stand those things?), hippies (damn hippies), France (damn Frenchies), President George W. Bush (I like Bush as a person, but NOT as my President), North Korea, people who hate Germany, Nazis, the KKK (bastards), terrorist (bastards), the Department of Homeland Security (morons), Hilary Clinton (Vote Obama '08), The Department of Motorized Vehicles

Things I don't trust: George Walker Bush (former President, yay), Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin (ex-President of Russia, current Prime Minister and founder of the FSB), Hu Jintao (General-Secretary of China), Robert Mugabe, Fox News, CNN, any tech support phoneline

Ideas for future stories sorted by anime/manga/game:

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

-Kyon re-askes himself the question he had asked when he was trapped in the closed space with Haruhi. 'What Haruhi to someone like me?' To Nagato Yuki she is the potential for evolution and capable of creating data out of nothing. To Asahina Mikuru she is a distortion in the space-time. To Koizumi Itsuki she is god. To Kyon she is...

-Kyon's parents died when he was young and now he has to raise his little sister by himself. Through hard work, and a lot of pity, he gets a scholarship to North High School. Poor Kyon makes his fateful encounter with the encentric Suzumiya Haruhi and his already chaoic life will turn into a living hell. Will Kyon be able to balance saving the world, being a Brigade member, a job, and his 10-year-old sister? Or will he crack under the strain?

Azumanga Daioh

-Inspired by an amv I saw on Youtube by Suberunkers to the song 1985 by Bowling for Soup. Yukari Tanizaki is a single mother living with her parents raising her two teenage daughters, Tomo and Ayamu 'Osaka'. If you have seen Azumanga Daioh I think you'll see how this might go. If you haven't... you have no life, go die in a corner... or watch it.

Stories Statis:

The Story of Paul and Mieke of Blau Squadron - Statis: Basically dead; I think I might have given up on it. I'm considering deleting it.

Brothers in Arms: The Eastern World is Exploding - Statis: Completed. 60 chapters longs and over 300,000 words long.

Brothers in Arms II: Balkan Inferno - Statis: Still coming along inspite of college

Storie Summaries:

-The Story of Paul and Mieke of Blau Squadron

Oberlutenant (1st Lieutenant) Paul Vogel is 19-year-old pilot in the Belka Luftwaffe (Air Force). He comes from a poor working-class family with more siblings than he's parents can handle. Never getting much attention from his family he never felt any kind of connections with other human-beings and never really wanted one. Mieke Ruhrman is a new recruit in the Luftwaffe and the daughter of a major political figure in the Belkan Government. She is a shy girl with a temper inversly proporational to her small petite appearance. She hopes to remake herself. What will become of the two people, a man who never had a chance to live his dreams and a girl who wanted to grow, find themselves together and suddenly at war with the world.

Rated Teen: Violence, Blood, Language, Adult Themes, Sexual References

-Brothers in Arms: Eastern World Exploding

It is the Spring of 2010. The Cold War is not over, but the United States of American and the Union of the Soviet Socialist Republic have been enjoying two decades of relative peace. Harima Kenji is on the verge of graduating high school, but naturely has no plans beyond. Hanai Haruki and Asou Hiroyoshi are facing the end of their secondary school and are looking at various colleges. Unknown to them a crisis involving the Democratic People's Republic of (North) Korea and the Republic of (South) Korea is devolping. Members of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization look worriedly at Eastern Asia and fear the worst. With many political, military, and economic reasons NATO mobilizes to defend their interests in South Korea. Japan looks across the Sea of Japn and realizes that war in Korea is too close to their homeland and draft men and women from ages of 18 to 34. As the threat of Chinese involvement and internal disputes in the Soviet Union the world is exploding in chaos as Communist and Capitalist clash over that unsettled war between the two Koreas.

Rated Mature: Extreme Violence, Extreme and Graphic Language, Offensive Statements, Graphic Descriptions of War, Adult Themes, Sexual References

(Not everything in the text reflects, I, the author's personal point of view)

-Brothers in Arms II: The Balkan Inferno

It is the February 2012, roughly one year and two months since the Korean War ended. 5th squad has long since return to their homes and started to return to normal lives, but continue their status as reservists. US President Michelle Smith Crane must set her sights on the US Presidential National Election in November. The Soviet Union is currently going under changes with its new Politburo. Japan is currently enjoying their new status as a world power and the most dominate navy in the West Pacific. With China licking her wounds from their loses in the war and North Korea in no position to be any threat, the world turns its attention to Eastern Europe and the Balkans. Yugoslavia, with Serbia as its leading nation of the Socialist Federal Republic, demands that what they call a 'sham' government in Kosovo step down and rejoin Serbia as they should. After an assassination attempt on many of the Kosovo leaders, negotiations break down and turn to war. Yugoslavian troops pour across the border. As all of NATO and the USSR begin to face the reality that the Third World War may start in the chaotic Balkan Peninsula, 5th squad and many other familiar faces prepare for the worst. Harima Kenji has a new life with his family and must leave them, despite what he may want. What will be come of Harima and his brothers and sisters in arms as they enter a new and strange world thousands of miles from home?

Rated Mature: Extreme Violence, Extreme and Graphic Language, Offensive Statements, Graphic Descricptions of War and War Crimes, Adult Themes, Sexual References, Lemon

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

In Her Eyes by bleachedinubasket reviews
[Reboot] She is a blind girl. He is a high school punk, they meet and Ichigo is determined to help her see what she can't, colors, movies, everything. But what happens when they both end up feeling something they cannot see? IchiRuki AU Complete
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 72,857 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 1/5/2015 - Published: 1/23/2008 - Ichigo K., Rukia K., Byakuya K., Hisana K. - Complete
UnCivil Service by ninja hampster reviews
Due to recent tensions with China, Japan institutes a Universal Civil Service act. Sending Keitaro, and thousands of others into the military. With a massive war on the horizon, will he be able to survive?
Love Hina - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 29,280 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 3/28/2013 - Published: 7/20/2007 - Keitaro U.
Ashes to Ashes by The Wacky Wannabe Writer reviews
What if the wonderfully coincidental meeting at the Dragon Jasmine never happened? Alone, forced to assume the role of the faceless Lee in the occupied Ba Sing Se, Zuko struggles to protect his newfound allies against the ruthless Fire Nation.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 273,567 - Reviews: 666 - Favs: 594 - Follows: 647 - Updated: 1/10/2013 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Zuko, Jin
Reconciliation by Lumpyness reviews
Set seven years after the events of The Traitor. Astrid is feeling quietly horrified at the way the village is slowly dissolving into chaos, and the rumours of a brown-haired hero who rides a dragon and roams the lands like a lost soldier do not help.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 69,634 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 7/8/2012 - Published: 2/18/2012 - Hiccup, Astrid - Complete
Sins Of A Galactic Empire by SpaceCowboy2013 reviews
When the unknown regions of space is revealed to the galaxy at large by a CIS warship the UNSC becomes members of galactic community, but its existence is soon threatened by the rise of an Empire from the ashes of a declining Republic DISCONTINUED
Crossover - Star Wars & Halo - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 86,663 - Reviews: 725 - Favs: 679 - Follows: 550 - Updated: 5/9/2012 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Thrawn, Master Chief/John-117
Wrong Number by Lynse reviews
The Doctor receives a phone call, and it doesn't take him long to realize that it's the wrong number. But now, of course, the Doctor's curiosity is aroused, and he just has to investigate. Initially a one-shot, now continued.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Magic School Bus - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 36,434 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 11/27/2011 - Published: 9/23/2010 - 10th Doctor - Complete
Prince Charming by timelessS2clois reviews
Sakura's been waiting 26 yrs for prince charming to arrive and she starts hoping that her boss is it. But what happens when fate tells her no, that the one she's been waiting for is none other than Syaoran, the sarcastic jerk sitting beside her at work?
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 70,323 - Reviews: 429 - Favs: 470 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 9/20/2010 - Published: 6/23/2010 - Syaoran L., Sakura K. - Complete
Building Keitaro by The Perilous Monster Eater reviews
I thought I knew who I was before mom died. Then my father got drunk, my little sister called me dad, and I had to get a job. Granny Hina, however, changed everything.
Love Hina - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 22,220 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 1/7/2010 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Keitaro U.
The Ultimate Ace by WingedFreedom622 reviews
Four years after ISAF crushes Erusia, Mobius 1, the legendary ace who helped bring the war to a close disappears. Now, a year later, the CircumPacific War starts… Crossover with ACE 04 and 5 with references to Zero. NO LONGER ON HIATUS! CHAPTER 24 UP!
Ace Combat - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 144,373 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 12/2/2007
Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun by Bico reviews
The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya: Whether it's between normalcy and adventure or love and your career, making choices is tough. Unfortunately for Kyon, when the person with the difficult choice is a god, sometimes the solution isn't so convenient.
Haruhi Suzumiya series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 44,957 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/18/2009 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Haruhi S., Kyon - Complete
Mistakes We Knew We Were Making by gostlcards reviews
JasonDavid decides he has to find Nicky, and Nicky decides somethings of her own. NickyJasonDavid.
Bourne series - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,031 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 9/7/2008 - Published: 8/17/2007
The Champion of the Razgriz by doom357 reviews
A pilot with a cursed and tragic past must deal with skepticism as he joins Wardog. Where others look at him with disgust one female pilot begins to take a liking to the pilot called 'Blaze'. BlazexNagase. Rated T for language and violence.
Ace Combat - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 35,586 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 5/2/2008 - Published: 5/3/2006
Oniisama wa Sugoi desu ne! by Shin aK1ra-sama reviews
Yamazaki Keiichi--twin brother of Tsukamoto Tenma has moved back to Japan to take his last year of high school at Yagami High. Pretty hectic, once he starts trying to help others and be the best. How will things turn out?
School Rumble - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 52,028 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/4/2008 - Published: 1/26/2008
American Invasion! by Roapatry reviews
American student Sakura Hayden just transferred from the US. Can she survive the drama that is School Rumble? How will she fit in the love chain of HarimaTenmaKarasuma? SemiAU, OC, rated T for language, and suggestive themes.
School Rumble - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,369 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/23/2007
Stranger from the Alley by Author Pen Name reviews
As Yakumo and Sara try to find Iori they are encountered by a group of thugs but, only to be saved by an unsuspected person. SaraxOC & YakumoxHarimaxEri
School Rumble - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,965 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 9/1/2006 - Published: 6/23/2006
History by Moonshadow29 reviews
I want you to spend some time finding out about your own history. That's how Sousuke's history teacher introduced their next assignment. However, for someone with no past, that's easier said than done.
Full Metal Panic - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,434 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 2/10/2006 - Published: 9/28/2005 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mating Season reviews
Who wants to read a crackfic written by a sick guy on cold medication about the stallions and colts of Ponyville fleeing in terror during mating season? Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking either. Join us in this really long one shot as we follow various main and background characters in this strange little trip. Not a clopfic.
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,548 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/12/2014 - Caramel, Sweetie Belle, Octavia, OC - Complete
The Bodyguard reviews
After an attempted kidnapping Mugi must pick a bodyguard to protect her and her friends from unseen enemies. Yui traumatized by the kidnapping takes a hard look at her life and begins the slow process of recovery with a stoic mercenary now protecting them
K-ON!/けいおん! - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 167,466 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 2/27/2012 - Published: 9/20/2011 - Yui H.
Brothers in Arms II: The Balkan Inferno reviews
Sequal to Brothers in Arms: Eastern World Exploding. Summary available on the first chapter and on my page. Set a year after the final chapter of my last story. Rated M for reasons explained at th end of the summary. Chapter 19 is coming soon.
School Rumble - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 243,308 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/25/2011 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Kenji H., Yakumo T.
It Begins Again reviews
October 2015 and Hobbes in now in the possession of a young 5-year-old girl who is the offspring of some familiar characters. Follow the girl and her trust companion on a day in the life of a child and her tiger.Also see what became others. Enjot. Oneshot
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,871 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/29/2010 - Complete
Brothers in Arms: The Eastern World is Exploding reviews
AU plot of the Cold War. Hanai, Harima and Asou are drafted to fight in a war against North Korea and China. They are dragged into a horrifying fight for survivial with NATO. Rated M for graphic volence and language. COMPLETE!
School Rumble - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 60 - Words: 364,548 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/4/2008 - Published: 9/24/2007 - Kenji H., Yakumo T. - Complete
The Story of Paul and Mieke of Blau Squadron reviews
Paul and Mieke are two yound Belkan pilots that get stuck together and go throught the war together. The Belkan War from the Belkans point of view. My first story ever. I've given up on this story, I may finish it someday though. Just not soon.
Ace Combat - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,312 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 8/30/2007 - Published: 7/29/2007