Author has written 12 stories for Warriors, and Sonny with a Chance.
I was previously Squirrelflightlover! ^^ Anywho, a little about me. I'm a totally random girl who loves writing stories for Sonny with a Chance (you can see my list of stories a bit below). I used to write Warrior Cats stories, but then I sort of got over the series. Now I just stick to SWAC fanfics, because they're incredibly fun to write. Go Channy! Haha. xD Feel free to message me about anything at all! I love having conversations. c:
Favorite Colors: Red, black, yellow, purple, and blue
Favorite Food: Sugar cookies :D
Favorite Hobbies: Drawing, singing, acting, writing stories, reading, and playing the piano
Favorite Books: House of Night books, The Help, Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus, Nancy Drew, Harry Potter, Redwall, Charlie Bone, Artemis Fowl, the Alex Rider series, The Princess Diaries, Airhead, a ton of other Meg Cabot books, 39 Clues, Mortal Instruments, The Hunger Games
Favorite Movies: TANGLED, The Help, The Proposal, She's the Man, Harry Potter, HSM (1, 2, & 3) (yes, I'm a complete dork), Disney classics, and most musicals
Favorite TV Shows: Sonny with a Chance (my absolute favorite), Wizards of Waverly Place, Good Luck Charlie, The Nanny, Phineas and Ferb, Suite Life on Deck, Victorious, I Love Lucy, Friends, and Pretty Little Liars
Favorite female celebs: Demi Lovato, Adele, Sandra Bullock, Meryl Streep, Tiffany Thornton, Allisyn Ashley Arm, Natalie Portman, Kelly Clarkson, Melanie Amaro, Katy Perry, Mandy Moore, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Emma Stone, Amanda Bynes
Favorite male celebs: Sterling Knight, Brandon Mychal Smith, Doug Brochu, Jude Law, Bruno Mars, Steve Martin, Jack Black, Robin Williams
My role model: Demi Lovato. She's so inspiring, and I seriously just adore everything about her
To everyone who reviews, favorites my stories, and puts me or my stories on alert: Thank you so, so much for your support of my stories and all the nice things you say! I seriously appreciate it. Even though I mostly write my stories for myself, just to keep the SWAC magic alive in my mind, it makes me really happy to see that other people enjoy reading what I write, too. And every time I get a review I always smile so hugely.
So thank you guys so much! You all rock :D Virtual hugs for everyone!
Stories I'm Writing for Sonny with a Chance
Chad Dylan Cooper On ~ Somehow my most popular story! Chad Dylan Cooper knows everything that there is to know about anything. Which is why he decided to open up a little Chadly Wisdom Center, where he discusses any and all topics with his own superior smartness. So long as the topic has nothing to do with Sonny Munroe. Naturally, she keeps popping up somewhere in all his topics anyway. Read Chad's topics to see his opinions on anything and everything, and also to see his various adventures with the exploding ball of sunshine that he "absolutely can't stand".
My Secret Little Sunshine ~ Sonny Munroe never became a member of So Random!. In fact, So Random! never existed. Sonny still lives in Wisconsin, where she has just started her junior year at Franklin High School. When Chad Dylan Cooper comes to Wisconsin to shoot his next film, he and his family end up residing in the house next door to Sonny's. Not to mention he starts going to Sonny's school. Like every other girl, Sonny falls for him, until she realizes that he's a drama snob. And now, for some reason, she just can't get rid of him. At the same time, Sonny is paired up with her sworn enemy, Tawni Hart, the head cheerleader, for a science project. Oh, and her lucky socks have gone missing. The horror. Add all that up with a player jerk named James, a mini Tawni, a jealous ex-girlfriend who sends death threats for a hobby, and the fact that Sonny might possibly just be starting to have feelings for the celebrity boy next door, life sort of sucks for Sonny Munroe right now. Sonny writes all her secret and wacky thoughts in her new diary, which you will have the great honor of being able to read.
My Dilemma ~ Inspired by Selena Gomez's song of the same name. -- "So. My boyfriend cheated on me, I got kicked off So Random, crazy Penelope broke out of jail and still wants to kill me, and I have to live with my ex for my protection. Oh, and apparently I still have feelings for the said ex. Fun week, huh?" Takes place about a few months after the 'New Girl' episode.
New Girl on Set ~ When Louisiana girl Bella Lambert wins a So Random! contest, she gets to stay at Condor Studios for a week and make a guest appearance on a So Random! sketch. Bella is eager to spend time with the cast of her favorite TV show, especially Sonny Munroe, her role model. But while there, Bella notices the love/hate relationship that Sonny and Chad Dylan Cooper have going on, and she quickly begins to act as their personal Cupid, using every idea she can think of to try and hook them up. But with Sonny and Chad's stubbornness and a guy named Blake who shows interest in Sonny, Bella finds that getting Channy together is harder than she thought it would be. My first SWAC story, multi-chapter. On hiatus.
Operation: Break Up Channy ~ Sonny and Chad have been going out for a month now, and fans of them adore the new Channy couple. Even their castmates have gotten used to the idea of Sonny and Chad together. There's only one person who can't stand Channy, and that's Chad's little sister, Claire. Combined with her dislike of Sonny and her jealousy that her older brother doesn't hang out with her as much, she tries to hatch a plan to get Channy to break up. But her attempts always seem to bring them closer together, until one of her ideas actually works. But the results of the break up aren't what she planned, and now she may not be able to take it back. On hiatus.
A Sunny Summer Anniversary ~ Sonny and Chad are celebrating their one year anniversary, but things take a slight turn for the worse when they are forced to bring the other Randoms along. Dealing with Tawni's fear of sharks is one thing. But Chad cheating on her on their anniversary is a completely different thing. Is Chad really cheating? Or is something else going on? What will happen to Channy? Multi-chapter. On Hiatus.
Upcoming Sonny with a Chance stories
My Angel ~ Chad and Sonny have been happily married for six years. But Sonny has steadily become more successful in her career, and now she's the one in the spotlight, not Chad. A bitter Chad gets into an argument with his wife, and things take a turn for the worse. Not only that, but a terrible car accident might just change everything... Multi-chapter. (Actually, I probably won't end up writing this... but whatever)
Finished Sonny with a Chance stories
Sonny with a Chance of Superman ~ Sonny and Chad make a bet. If the Randoms win the bet, the Falls have to do whatever they want for a week. But if the Falls people win, then Chad gets to make Sonny do whatever he wants... unfortunately for Sonny, there's no backing out of this one. A one-shot.
-I watched an episode of Hannah Montana because Sterling Knight was in it.
-I wish I owned a Mackenzie Falls uniform.
-I wish So Random was an actual show. (WISH CAME TRUE DUDE. Not in the way I wanted, though. ._.)
-My friends feel the need to slap themselves when they say something that could remind me about SWAC in front of me because I'll start talking about it.
-I squeal whenever there's a cute Channy moment in SWAC.
-Sonny with a Chance is about the only show I watch anymore.
-I've seen every episode at least 5 times.
-I'm mad at Disney for not adding Channy in some episodes they could have.
-The only FanFics i've written are SWAC ones.
If these describe you too, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you love Sonny with a Chance post this on your page
If you love Disney Channel post this on your page
EOTSWACD (Extreme Obsession To Sonny With A Chance Disorder)
If you think Channy is the best couple ever post this on your page.
If you love Demi Lovato (or her music/movies), and think she rocks, copy and paste this into your profile.
This is Channy Bunny. *high voice* HEEELLLOOOO!!!!!! *normal voice* Okay, that was creepy. Anyways, if you love Channy, copy and paste him to your profile. Show your love for Sonny and Chad with your BUNNAY! :P
~Tawni's the most egotistic. Sonny's the prettiest. Nico's the funniest. Grady's the clumsiest. Zora's the quirkiest. But only Chad can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous. ~
If you agree that Chad and Sonny are made for each other, copy and paste this onto your profile.
"Yeah, yeah. I'd shake your hand, but it's taped to my ass." - 17 Again - Sterling Knight
"That explains why your lips tasted like skiball and air hockey." - Chad Dylan Cooper (Sterling Knight)- Sonny With a Chance
"To the Cooper Pooper!" - Nico and Grady - Sonny With a Chance
If you think that eventually there should be a Sonny With A Chance movie copy and paste this to your profile. (Oh my god. YES.)
Copy and paste if you are obsessed with CHANNY!
As A Demi Fan I Pledge ~ To Love Demi Lovato No Matter What! Support Her Through Whatever She Does! Be There For Her When Times Get Hard! Never Judge Her Because She Doesn't Judge Me! Stand Up For Her! Never Turn My Back On Her! Let Her Know She Is My Role model! Thank Her As Often As I Can! & Just Love Her For Being Demi (HELL YES.)
You know you watch too much SWAC when...
1. You start answering the phone with, "Lemme hear you say heeeeeey!"
Ten Things I Learned From Sonny With A Chance.
1. There are eighty shades of white.
2. Cold Cut catapults also work with cheese.
3. You shouldn't fake your own fan letters. (Unless you have a weird beard costume)
4. You shouldn't open giant boxes that belong to a certain eleven year old.
5. Tawni Town is one heck of a town.
6. You can fall in love with your mortal enemy.
7. Not all proms end in disaster.
8. You have to play yourself before you can play someone your not.
9. People will get mad if you wear the same clothes as them to the "Oh No You Didn'ts".
10. Five weddings and a wedding make a whole lot of weddings.
You know you're a Sonny with a Chance fan when...
1. You called Sonny nice and are expecting some scented candles soon. (I'm expecting about a gazillion candles :B)
2. You can remember Sonny's number off by heart. (Ooh, that's a good idea)
3. You quote Chad Dylan Cooper in real life. (Yep yep)
4. You want to go to Lookout Mountain.
5. You know all the words to the Stop SPS song. What a legendary song :D (Love that song)
6. You adore Cupcake, even if he costs $40 an hour. (That dog was so cute! :'D)
7. You think Chad Dylan Cooper really is the greatest actor of our generation. (Don't deny it, guys. He is.)
8. You smile hugely when Chad gets jealous. (Guiltttyyy)
9. You think Channy is the greatest couple there will ever be. (Definitely! Waaaay better than Jemi is, anyway. Blegh.)
10. Your friends are sick of hearing you talk about Sonny With A Chance.
11. Your favorite dog combination is a chocopoo, the ice cream that licks itself.
12. When you want someone to change something you bawk like a chicken.
13. You watch the episodes a week before they air on youtube.
14. You just wish Channy would form already! (It already did! YEAAA! Of course, then they broke up... but still!)
15. So Far So Great is always stuck in your head.
16. You think cheese pants are the coolest invention.
17. You want a blarmie, the blanket with arms. (YES PLEASE)
18. Your cellphone ringer is MOOOO! (It is for my voicemail. xD)
19. You wish you could taste the creamy goodness of the fro yo machine.
20. Instead of Oh my God, you say Oh my Chad!
21. You can honestly say you love Chad Dylan Cooper.
22. You suddenly want to go live in a vent.
23. Your favorite lipstick is Coco Moco Coco.
24. You know the difference between Coco Moco Coco and Moco Coco Moco.
25. You settle things by playing musical chairs.
26. You wrote a complaint letter to Condor studios about the unfair treatment to the So Random! cast.
27. You can't say no to the Kiss Cam.
28. You understand this statement, and why its one of the best: Peace out suckahhs!
29. You keep telling your friends that Chad Dylan Cooper is real.
30. There are eighty shades of white.
31. Even 3 named jerk-throbs look amazing in pink. (It shouldn't work. But it does. :o)
32. You shouldn't fake your own fan letters. (Unless you have a weird beard costume)
33. You shouldn't open giant boxes that belong to a certain eleven year old.
34. Tawni Town is one heck of a town.
35. You can fall in love with your mortal enemy.
36. Not all proms end in disaster.
37. You have to play yourself before you can play someone your not.
38. People will get mad if you wear the same clothes as them to the "Oh No You Di'n'ts".
39. Five weddings and a wedding makes a lot of weddings.
40. A mop makes a great present.
41. A tiara can also be a key to a secret unicorn stable. (C:)
42. Anyone can pull off a weird beard.
43. Chicken fingers and ski ball are a great combo.
44. Cold Cut catapults also work with cheese.
45. A 9 year old could be the final vote between losing your job or keeping it.
46. You should never let your co-star talk without a script.
47. Tween Choice Awards make great toilet paper holders.
48. If you rent a snake, be sure you know which size you are getting.
49. You spend most of your time reading and writing fanfiction for Channy. (It's m'hobby)
50. You answer your phone with "Let me hear you say HEEEEY!"
51. When you wanna show your friend something, you say check it out, check it out!
52. Instead of sandwich, you say sammich
53. You leave the room yelling 'PEACE OUT SUKAHS!"
54. You say a'ight in a Chad Dylan Cooper fashion (YES)
55. Whenever someone acts OOC, you like to draw a circle in the air and explain the circle of life.
56. You laugh at people who say double duty (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
57. You know the importance of having two phones.
58. You know it's serious if Chad cuts his massage to an hour. (Awh, Chad cares! He loooovvvesss herrrr, he wants to huuugggg herrrr, he wants to kiiiisssss her xD)
59. Camp Hip Hop is better than the Chad Dylan Cooper Story.
60. You break up people by dressing up like Big Foot.
61. Syrup and feathers is the best way to prank someone.
62. To scare someone out of your prop house, you lure them into the arms of a rat that used up all your film.
63. You know to get a hug from Chad, you need to buy a box of cookies.
64. You joined the Blossom Scouts.
65. You know pacts are broken when you deal with a guy who hides cameras in gift baskets.
66. You cheer up people by making them a balloon animal.
67. You know Sonny will always do your science project if you act sad enough.
68. You always practice to be a tennis judge in the middle of the cafeteria.
69. You know why Zac Efron is banned from the Mackenzie Falls set.
70. You know, even if you deny it, that you can fall in love with your enemy.
If you love Sonny With A Chance, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Zora and her army of evil gnomes are awesome and would like to join this army, copy and paste this into your profile.
"You're like the head jerk. You're like the mayor of Jerksville... the head ambassador of Jerkoslavakia!!" ~Sonny Munroe
"Really Chad? Really?" ~Sonny Munroe
If you have spent hours reading FanFiction instead of doing your homework like you should be, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think it is important to do spontaneous acts of randomness at least 5 times a day in order to maintain a healthy level of insanity, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C., or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you laugh at the stupidest things, copy and past this into your profile.
If you are against racism COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.
If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.
Eighty percent of Americans don't smoke. If you're one of that eighty percent, copy and paste this into your profile. (And PROUD of it!)
Try not to Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you
If you cried while you read this, copy this to your profile.
Even when you can't see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile.
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of ever line(HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny))
A Salute to High School Musical:
On January 20th, 2006, a movie came out. It wasn't just any Disney movie but High School Musical. on top of having a cast of fresh, talented, (and hot) stars, it had a decent message and songs that were contagious. The movie was in fact so big, it went world wide, topped the charts, won awards, and even had teachers singing the songs. It touched the hearts and souls of countless people around the world and racked in tons of money for Disney in the form of two DVDs, a soundtrack, posters, shirts, bags, and not to mention more publicity. High School Musical... some may say it's childish to like a Disney movie so much, but i think not. I'm proud to say i loved the movie, and would like to say Happy One Year Anniversary HSM. If you're a High School Musical fan and proud, copy this and paste it, or at least show some appreciation
If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Words women use:
FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING: This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".
GO AHEAD: At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful
THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
THANKS A LOT: This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
Find the Guy
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
The Morse Code
Election - Results
A Decimal Point
Eleven Plus Two
ONLY IN AMERICA...
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Funny XD-worthy labels and warnings
On Sears hairdryer:
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On artificial bacon:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
What High School Musical has Taught Us (Or at least the ones who actually pay attention...)
1. If you wish to show your inability or dislike for dancing, it's perfectly reasonable to break out in a dance number.
2. College? It's not important, as long as you can hang out with your friends.
3. If your love is strong enough, fireworks will go off, and lanterns will fly away as you and your boyfriend kiss.
4. Playing sports is a hint that it's time to break into song.
5. Don't worry about being rude/mean because in the end things will work out for you.
6. School spirit is a must. Especially during the summer.
7. Your friends are not human and should always be addressed by the name of their school mascot.
8. Yes! You can paint your locker pink! Screw the school board.
9. You can be a chef, lifeguard, or golf assistant...no experience needed!
10. A guy can never wear too much bronzer.
11. Lakes are the equilivant of mirrors. They can show your reflection perfectly!
12. It is possible to memorize a 3 minute song over the course of 30 seconds...and sing it perfectly!
13. It doesn't matter that you're not a staff member... You can still attend any and all staff events.
14. The phrase 'more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match' is something that can be used in everyday conversation
15. There are two bells that get you out of school. The first one tells you to start singing and dancing, the second announces you should stop.
16. Even though its the last day of school, its okay to leave stuff in the locker for the summer.
17. If your family is 'saving pennies' for your college education and gives you a junky truck to drive because they 'can't afford anything else', it is normal for their kitchen to have expensive granite counter tops and a 7,000 fridge.
18. Pianos can float now. Go ahead, try it.
19. It's perfectly acceptable for a guy to wear girl's capris.
20. If you're upset, just run through a golf course, jumping and spinning, while singing 'Bet on it'...you won't fall at any point, and no one will stop and think 'what the flip?'.
21. You can send telepathic messages to your mom to tell her to pick you up just as you're finishing your breakup song with your boyfriend.
22. A resort can be highly successful when there are way more employees than guests.
23. 'And she stepped on the ball' is actually quite funny. You just need to put it into context.
24. One family can apparently control an entire city, including all educational institutions in the area.
25. It's good manners to refer to your mother as a 'backstabber'
26. Turkey imported from Maine is much better than any other turkey. In fact, it's fabulous...
27. Apparently, it is now possible to hire an entire high school to be the staff at an upscale country club.
28. Iced tea from England is blue
29. Water Bug is a really cute, funny, and romantic pet name. -gags- Gah, my god, Rowsely...
30. Being a teenage paparazzi at school and taking multiple pictures of the same two people is not weird or creepy in any way
31 .When your girlfriend tells you that your shoes don't match your tie, you must do a stupid looking surfer move to see if she's right, you can't just look down.
32. Take two small saucepan lids and bang them together. You'll find they make the exact same sound as a large GONG. Go on, have a go.
33. It IS possible to have any object in the world come in pink & engraved with your initials.
34. If you are the basketball star of your school, you can get yourself, as well as the rest of the school, summer jobs.
35. Lava Springs apparently had no employees, since they had to hire a whole new staff.
36. Don't change your friends, change your dreams.
37. 'What team?' 'Wildcats!''GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!' can fix any problem.
38. Basketball scholarships at the University of Albuquerque depend completely on your musical performance skills
39. Guitars and speaker equipment can be placed near a pool safely.
40.When you frolic with your girlfriend in the golf course, you get in trouble. When you frolic by yourself and sing, nothing happens, of course.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?
Her name was Auroura
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul.
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
My name is Tiffany,
I must be stupid,
I wish I were better,
My name is tiffany,
And you can help to stop this for others.
And if you read this and don’t pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness because you would have to be
One heartless person to not be effected
By this poem and because you are effected,
Do something about it! So all I ask you to do
Is pass this on! If you are against child abuse
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
1. God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women
2. Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up
3. Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs
4. The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
5. We women have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
6. When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
7. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake
.8. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.
9. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
10. If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, on to a little seesaw, and then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
11. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
12. My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
13. My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
14. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
15. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
16. I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
17. It's strange, isn't it? You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaagghhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in.
18. And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
19. God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
20. Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
21. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
22. Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most
.23. A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
24. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
25. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
26. I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
27. My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
28. If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.
29. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
30. Football's not a matter of life and death ... it's more important than that.
31. 'Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.
32. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
33. Love- A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
34. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
35. 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy fromstrangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
36. I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
Ponder on this...
Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called Him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared Him...
He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ignore Him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
"If you deny Me before man, I will deny you before My Father in Heaven..."
Footprints In the Sand:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
This bothered me because I noticed
So I said to the Lord,
The Lord smiled and replied,
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that damned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
"We all thought it was missing something, so we decided to put in a multi-purpose hole."~ Sonny Monroe, "Sonny with a Chance"
"It's so funny when people you don't know explode." ~ Alex Russo, "Wizards of Waverly Place"
"You're a RHOMBUS!!" ~ Sonny Munroe, "Sonny with a Chance"
"It's a skort. You know, skirt in the front, shorts in the back. It's like a mullet for your butt!" ~ Sonny Munroe, "Sonny with a Chance"
"Sonny's always cute. She can't do anything without it being cute... stupid cute." ~ Chad Dylan Cooper, "Sonny with a Chance"