FlamingFlie
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Poll: Your in the center of white room. There are no windows, there are no doors. You are crouched down; your feet on the cold white concrete, rolling back and forth on the balls of your feet, you are going insane. So, how did you get there? Vote Now!
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Joined 08-08-07, id: 1346247, Profile Updated: 03-15-09
Author has written 6 stories for Maximum Ride, Naruto, and Harry Potter.

The Synopsis of my Eventful Existence

Hello. I am FlamingFlie. I know I haven't been on here in forever. I don't know if I will start coming on anyway. I've been busy and truth be told, I FlamingFlie have many busy things to do. It might involve cannibalism and it might involve schooling in some way, shape or form, it might involve ANYTHING in the world. Just letting you know that I prolly won't be on that often (not that I am now) and my stories are doomed to remain unfinished forever. Maybe if someone sends me a really sexy, heartfelt letter I'll write another chapter of one story. Maybe not. I'm not in too much demand story wise (just body wise-- everyone wants a piece of this!!). Anyway, yep. That's all I have to say for now. I may randomly pop up every once and awhile and say. "Say, you guys missing your sexy man ham?" or something like that. But for now. GOODBYE My lovely landlovers!

~FLAMINGFLIE

On a completely different note, I secured a Fictionpress account that I haven't been on in forever and have some awesome sites for you people to visit:

An aweseome short by Smosh called Stranded (tis one of my favorites) and another one called Male Model and yet another that makes me extremely happy called Boxmans Girlfriend (which happens to be my favorite).

The Pokemon Theme Song (also done by Smosh) is absoulutely amazing.

Charlie the Unicorn

Muffins

How to be Emo

(Watch at your own risk) FMA dubbed with Dane Cook: Pet Monkey, Nothing Fight, Monopoly, Burger King, Childrens Names, Smelly Markers (more but I won't list them).

Name: You can call me Flie.

Gender: Male (however there is skepticism about this fact of my life, I will tell you this though: I claim to be Male... I also claim to be a Tahitian Nun).

Age: I am currently claiming to be 97 and three fourths (if you have a better guess, enlighten me).

Location: I live in Tahiti and am a Male Nun. I attend a nunnery and will be moving to a monastery shortly. I am sure that you are all very curious about my life as a nun, so I shall tell you a couple of things to satisfy that raging curiosity.

Firstly, you may ask: How can a male be a nun? The answer is actually very simple. You see, the natives to Tahiti think that it's discriminatory towards men to only allow females to become nuns (and vice versa- only allowing males to be monks), so we passed a law that allows both females and males to participate in the practices of a nun and a monk. For the first few years of life (first few means until that student is ready to proceed to the next level, it could take ten years or one hundred) nuns/monks go to the nunnery to learn of all Holy ways, traditions and arts. After they have completed this, they move onto the monastery. After both of these training facilities have been passed, the nun/monk is allowed to decide if they want to become a nun or a monk and then take up that path of life ( I haven't gotten to the choice yet; but I'm leaving heavily towards the ways of the nun).

Secondly, what on earth goes on at the nunnery?

The nunnery is much like your high schools (but with the exception that we can stay there until we are ready to move on) we learn subjects from math and science, to self defense ( many different kinds; believe or not the nuns are well versed in the slaying ways ) and how to stitch people up, perform limited surgery, and meditate to increase spiritual energy ( which in my opinion, is a useless class because I spend half the time out in the hall for 'disturbing the peace').

My school is humongous and people say that it's shaped like a beer keg. It has no electricity and no plumbing, we go to the bathroom in large unhealthy vats on either side of the football field.

The football field itself is used for unethical reasons, the nuns have a nasty habit of throwing dead animals there and when playing on the field, children need to navigate through the bloody carcasses ( needless to say, we have nobody requesting to play on our field).

Thirdly, how do the nuns act?

This may surprise many of you, but many Nuns are not as Holy as you would like to think. I have observed many “risqué” Nun’s. They participate in wild scandals and are not new when it comes to gambling and belly dancing. Many Nun’s (or sisters and brothers as we refer to them, because many of the registered nuns are our teachers), have feral parties on the weekends, frolic in the field of illegal drunk usage and throw a conniption when the latest playboy or girl magazine comes out a quarter of a day late. They can be hot tempered and don’t hesitate to draw the whipping stick when the need is questionable.

But overall, they’re quiet, non-aggressive people, and are always willing to give a helping hand.

Fourthly (and most importantly) why did I, Flamingflie, decide to become a nun?

I am not the best student. I am constantly yanked out of class for making fun of the latest love affair Sister Margaret or Brother Felix are troubled with. I bring lamps illegally onto the school grounds (since electricity isn’t permitted) and turn them on in the middle of note-taking claiming that I need more light. I also have a habit of going shirtless to gym class with the excuse that my muscles are lonely and need to come out to play.

Anyway… why did I become a nun? I really have no idea, but I’ll figure it out someday.

Life: I live with my widowed mother and nine siblings (all of which are female). My father was eaten by cannibals when I was a mere boy, however, I have forgiven the cannibals mostly (all humans make mistakes), although I do hunt them on occasion. They also try to eat me sometimes, but other than that, we're very good friends.

Other: Currently the only thing that I'm working on is The Final Valediction and I guess Dancing in the Rain (though that's mostly just a way for me to make fun of writing, while writing well at the same time). If you have time please review one of them or one of my one shots.


Quotes:

Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't. - Melody Beattie

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day - anonymous

Attention to health is life greatest hindrance. - I forgot

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing - Elbert Hubbard

Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. - Ella Williams

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. - Mark Twain

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.- anonymous The world is filled with willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. - Robert Frost

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway - anonymous

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think - anonymous

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. - anonymous ( sorry if this offended you, it cracked me up)

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss - Douglas Adams

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. - anonymous

I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment; it takes place every day - Albert Camus

I reject your reality and insert my own. - Mythbusters

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt

For those to whom much is given, much is required. - John F. Kennedy

There was no fire between our sheets.- George Washington

So you’re the little woman who wrote the book that made this great war. - Abraham Lincoln

Courage is being scared to death-- and saddling up anyway. - John Wayne

In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.- Sheldon Kopp

We must all learn to live together as brothers, or we will perish as fools.- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly. Cornelia Funke ( Inkheart )

He was probably right, but there was another reason why Meggie took her books whenever they went away. They were her home when she was somewhere strange. They were familiar voices, friends that never quarreled with her, clever, powerful friends-- daring and knowledgeable, tried and tested adventures who had traveled far and wide. - Cornelia Funke ( Inkheart )

“ ‘ They’re all cruel, the world I come from, the world you come from, and this one, too. Maybe people don’t see the cruelty in your world right away, it’s better hidden, but it’s there all the same.’ ” - Cornelia Funke ( Inkspell )

Fear doesn’t travel well; just as it can warp judgment, its absence can diminish memory’s truth. What terrifies one generation is likely to bring only a puzzled smile to the next.- Arthur Miller

“ ‘ She might buy ale with it.’ He shrugs. ‘ then she’ll have ale. It isn’t the pound that matters; it’s the hope.’” - Libba Bray ( A Sweet Far Thing )

I do not want to pass the time. I want to grab hold of it and leave my mark on the world. - Libba Bray ( A Sweet Far Thing )

I made the Cowardly Lion look like the terminator. - Meyer

When I came here as a child, he would always remove the bullets as soon as he walked in the door. I guess he considered me old enough not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose. - Meyer

‘ “ I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.’ ” - Meyer

‘ “ I’m an idiot.’ ‘You are an idiot,’ he agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met, and I laughed, too. We laughed at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment. ‘ And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…’ ….. ‘ What a stupid lamb,’ I sighed. ‘ What a sick masochistic lion.’ ” - Meyer

A man may die, nations may rise, but an idea lives on. ~ John F. Kennedy

Sometimes, I wish I could be like the rain, if I were, then I would have a way to connect two hearts together? The way the rain connects the earth and the sky, even though the two never touch? - Bleach

“ If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem part of it.”- Emily Bronte

“ I’d be glad of retaliation that wouldn’t recoil on myself; but treachery and violence are spears pointed at both ends: they wound those who resort to them, worse than their enemies.” - Emily Bronte


By the way, PM me at any time, I will talk to any willing victim.

Don't get too drunk tonight ~ Flamingflie

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Year Zero by I'mNotGivingMyNameToAMachine reviews
"If you ever come after me again, I'll kill you. If you ever send Ari after me again, I'll kill him and then I'll kill you. In fact if anyone comes after me with the intention of taking my life or my freedom, I will kill them... Then I'll come for you." Max and her friends are utterly unprepared for this particular young man.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 44,370 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 12/21/2007
The Freed by billy morph reviews
This is the story of those who were freed, and it's not going well. After a month of relative calm the kids freed at the end of the first book are about to have to best or worst time of their lives. But after the lab it can only get better, right?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 133,411 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 9/10/2006 - Complete
Maximum Homicide by monkeybait reviews
You've gotta slay to survive.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,204 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/20/2009 - Published: 4/19/2008 - Fang, Max
Alone by Just a lil revenge reviews
This is my first fanfic so go easy on me. Fang was made for a different purpose then the rest of the flock. Will he sacrifice himself for the flock or become their worst nightmare?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 16,342 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/17/2009 - Published: 9/11/2007 - Fang, Max - Complete
Dawn of the Earth by billy morph reviews
AU. The world ended, no one knows why and it doesn't really matter anyway to the hundred or so bird kids left behind, the humans are gone and they are free. But life is never perfect and what will happen when the humans reemerge ten long years later?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 27 - Words: 49,954 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 5/6/2007
A Little Person Called God by nyanja14 reviews
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. Sequel to A Little Place Called Home. Max's and Fang's POV. Faxness. Rated T for Language and Dark Themes. DISCONTINUED
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 52,014 - Reviews: 927 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 6/13/2008 - Published: 1/7/2007 - Max, Fang - Complete
Stillborn by mergirl007 reviews
Max experiences yet another miscarriage. Rated T for some language and mature themes. Oneshot. Fax and implied Miggy.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 727 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/19/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete
A Day In The Life by Auriella reviews
Action...interpretive Dance...and a hell lot of pot. Crackfic.
Teletubbies - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 707 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Complete
Taking Off: a Nudge Story by lys phillips reviews
Nudge feels like she doesn't belong in the Flock, but if not there, where? Maybe with her real family? Max has found her blood parents, maybe it's time Nudge looked for hers. Maybe it's time Nudge found where she really belongs.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,773 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/28/2008 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Nudge, Iggy - Complete
The Riddlyr by Armageddon Child reviews
I am the beginning. I am the end. I am every drop of blood you've ever split, every child you've ever killed, every soul you've ever damned... see inside for full introduction
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 35 - Words: 54,071 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 2/20/2008 - Published: 12/14/2007 - Complete
The Tempest by Val Evenstar reviews
Fang is keeping secrets: he knows Max's destiny and who her parents are. Because he killed her mother. COMPLETE
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 58,739 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 2/9/2008 - Published: 7/15/2007 - Complete
Never Fading by The Cio reviews
Something happened to the flock, leaving Fang the only man standing. What happens when the person he least suspected to find ends up on his doorstep? And what burdens accompany them, leading Fang on a more dangerous mission than ever before?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,826 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/16/2008 - Published: 8/29/2007
MR4 Revenge is a dish best served by ME by youngraven reviews
Max will do ANYTHING to get revenge on her ex mum. But before she has the chance to do that something much more important crops up. Something that takes the whole flock back to Paris and you know what they say about Paris it's the city of romance. FAX!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,894 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/10/2008 - Published: 8/20/2007
Nari Streeter by Armageddon Child reviews
Six genetically engineered experiments escaped from the school. Hundrends were left behind…
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 21 - Words: 30,734 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/13/2007 - Published: 11/21/2007 - Complete
Impress Me by CalCurve reviews
Maybe the threat was an empty one, a bluff to get me moving...but considering what was at stake, I couldn't afford to indulge in that hope. Discontinued.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 48,215 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 9/28/2007 - Published: 5/21/2007 - Max, Fang - Complete
To Choose or not to Choose, that is the Question by RogueSummersLover reviews
ok, set after book 3. FAX, some Miggyjust friends, Nudggy. Max is running away from her destiny, saving the world. Itex and the School are striking back. Read as She deals with destiny and teenage hormones. Spoilers. R&R Please. T for safty. May go up to
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,997 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/24/2007 - Published: 6/9/2007
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dancing For Rain reviews
She crouched down next to him, the rain trickling down her back, making her shiver. She loved Fang, but did he love her? FAX!REVIEW! *After Max III*
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 4,259 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 9/24/2008 - Published: 2/22/2008
The Chaos in Order reviews
For her it's always been one more thing, one more twisted lie after another. But what happens when all he tells her is the truth? *NarutoXOC*
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,369 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/7/2008 - Published: 9/23/2007 - Naruto U.
The Final Valediction reviews
Waves crash on the distance shore and their shattering smacks resound around the world, the end is coming, or it’s already here, it will consume us like a hungry fire and we have nothing to stop it. *After Max III and contains Fax*
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Tragedy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 39,691 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/7/2008 - Published: 8/10/2007
A Shallow Sunrise reviews
The last few moments of an overflowing memory. Oneshot
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 501 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Complete
Delusional reviews
What is the difference between raw magic and pure insanity?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 422 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Complete
What are Words? reviews
Simply the end.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 460 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Complete