Author has written 52 stories for Pokémon, Death Note, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Kingdom Hearts, World Ends With You, and Avengers.
Yo, looks like I'm redoing this again.
It'll get updated when/if I have the time. :3
My name's Ari, I suck at updating. There. Mostly because what I write would be so damn short or so damn long it'd be either pointless or take forever.
I curse like Cid "Sit down, shut up, and drink your GODDAMN TEA!" Highwind. It's more prevalent in my fics than in my correspondences, but be forewarned, there's pretty much always swearing in my fics.
I am really laid-back. I don't like to start fights, or continue them--my anger burns out pretty fast. I'm just not that kind of person. Although I do get testy sometimes, it's usually impersonal.
I make the most idiotic references, most horribly obscure or a personal joke, because I carry on conversations in my head. So if you ever meet me IRL, and I'm smiling for no reason, don't bother asking me--it'll be hard to explain.
I am the Lone Fangirl. This means I love every character, no matter how ignored they are by the fangirls. In example, the ENTIRETY of Organization XIII, Hojo, (hey shut up he's awesome), Harley, all the girls/boys forced to die for someone's ship, etc. (Dammit Kairi is cool! Hell, she needed MORE screentime!)
I ship. Like, holy shit, do I ship. I have my favorites, but I'm totally open to anything, which is why the shipping list down the page is long. Just as a warning.
I get verbal tics for a few days, and then stop. Mostly 'yo', a fact I can safely pin on Reno, because he's a jerk. Also because I've been on an FFVII fic binge.
I'm...slightly...odd. Not in the LOL CRAZEE AND LOVIN IT way, but touched in the head. I don't like social niceties, I don't have any sort of social etiquette, I can ignore some things while being totally anal retentive about others, and frankly, I am just flat-out strange. My moods and behaviors are quicksilver. Just be careful.
I focus on one obsession at a time. For example, I love a lot of things, but the things I will get plotbunnies for are usually highly specific, and last for a certain period of time. After which I usually switch to something else. I'll probably end up going back to that fandom for a few fics, but if not, well, I still love it anyway. xD
That's all that's really something I can describe. Although, I love competitve Pokemon battling. Just for fun though, at least for me. I use my favorites, make the most annoying movesets possible, and then unleash them on an unsuspecting trainer. I have a Miltank in my main team. She is awesome.
Now, onto the shit that matters to my fans--shipping!
(Haha this will be long I warned you.)
Grouping it by fandom and sexual preference--sooo much. OT3s are not many, (DAMMIT SQUEENIX) but they're there. OTPs are done in bold. Goes in order of Dom/Sub, btw. For OT3, Dom/Sub/Dom.
Pokemon (This includes all continuities, i.e. game, manga, etc)
(Anime canon--includes the movies, too.)
(Misty/Ash)--Dammit I'm a sucker for the classics, and now that I've gotten older, I look upon Kanto!Ash with love. Yeah, I'm surprised too. But he was a cute little kid then. Sinnoh!Ash has no excuse.
(Misty/Tracey)--This is cute too. Just...just cute, besides, he seemed to admire her.
(Harley/Dawn)--Oh man, oh man, I love Harley sooo much. xD But yes, he's so shibbytastic. And he and Dawn seem like they'd get along GREAT.
(Kenny/Dawn)--Yeah, shut up. Like an old married couple pairing rather than OMFG RAINBOWS SUNSHINE AND BUTTERFLIES BEST FWENDS thing. Ugh.
(Giovanni/Domino)--I'm not exactly sure why, but I love Domino and she is one of the most underrated TR members ever.
(Entei/Molly)--This movie made me cry. There, I said it. Spell of the Unown touches a very sensitive nerve in my emotional state, and I wanted the two of them to be happy together forever...
(Max/Jirachi)--The Jirachi in this movie seems to be female, otherwise this'd go under yaoi. But oh my god. A subpar movie with one of the most heartrending relationships in Pokemon; like Pikachu's Goodbye only without the happy ending. Who'da thunk it?
(Sapphire/Ruby)--This is effectively canon. It is also adorable.
(Cynthia/Flint)--This is cute too, god only knows why. He just seems like he'd make her laugh, and she'd keep him sensible.
(Agatha/Oak)--What, they're both awesome. Agatha is COOL. Old lady with DEATH DEALING COBRA. Besides, it's mentioned they knew each other--they remind me of an 'old married couple' sort of pair.
(Green/Blue)--Blue being the male rival, since dammit I grew up with the GAMES. It oddly mirrors the relationship I had with my own rival...Blue. xD
(Red/Yellow)--The two games that I used most in my childhood, Kanto-wise. Also, in-manga cuteness.
(Lance/Yellow)--All right, leave me the hell alone, it's cute. xD
(Giovanni/Sabrina)--Yum. Just...yum. Sabrina/Anyone is awesome, and Giovanni being a 'smooth criminal' and all...Yes, I should be shot for that reference, no, you're not allowed to do it. xD
(Cyrus/Platinum Player Character)--He got better development in Platinum. I actually started liking the guy. Also, he seemed like he harbored no ill will towards you specifically, and I've always gotten a Big Bad/Player vibe from the games, anyway.
(Ash/Pikachu)--I like Pikachu as a girl, okay? Besides, they've been together forever and all that jazz. It's cute.
(May/Harley)--Yeah, it's cute too. xD When Harley gets over himself, that is.
(Zoey/Dawn)--Rivals! Rivals who like each other and attach each others' jewelry, and are just incredibly cute together! (Jeez, I gotta have a reason for everything?)
(Flannery/Sabrina)--Crack, total and utter crack, but yummy delicious melting-the-stoic-ice-queen-with-moe crack.
(Candice/Zoey)--Once they got to Snowpoint, well.
(Maylene/Candice)--This was in-game, and really really cute!
(Erika/Jasmine)--Oh my god HGSS. Seriously, if this thing hasn't like reaffirmed Pokemon's knowledge that they have just as much of a teen/adult fanbase as their kid fanbase, I'll eat my socks or something. Greatest conversation I've ever heard in what was a "kid's game." (My ass, at this point. They KNEW their college kid fanbase was coming back for this game.)
(Janine/Whitney)--For some reason, the two Genki Girls of Johto make a great couple. I don't even know.
(Dawn/Maylene)--Anime? Oh man oh man, to quote, "I'll be in my bunk."
(Cheryl/Gardenia)--Anime AGAIN, but Gardenia's an adorable space-case, and Cheryl seems sly enough to use that to her advantage.
(PlayerChar/Cynthia)--Oh come now, she is just stalking you. xD
(Green/Yellow)--Oh you adorable innocent uke, watch Green corrupt you to death.
(Lance/Red)--Lance seems like he'd enjoy mindfucking the poor boy. It's cute in a twisted way.
(Aaron/Lucario)--Like whoa. I mean, this is probably the closest Pokemon's ever going to get to canon Furry Fandom. I meann, holy crap this pairing. Holy crap this MOVIE.
(Drew/Harley)--Sadly, Harley is FAB and all, but there's so few men to ship him with. D: Drew seems like he'd be no-nonsense about Harley's lolita stalkage, and that's hysterical for me.
(Lucian/Aaron)--I don't know, this one caught on and I was like d'awww.
(Flint/Volkner)--Thiiis, I can get behind. Cynthia excluded, Flint definitely struck me as...Axel-ish, i.e. gay as all get-out and dedicated towards cheering up his...blonde...friend...OH MY GOD YOU GUYS POKEMON IS SECRETLY KINGDOM HEARTS IN DISGUISE.
(Mewtwo/PMD!Grovyle)--I will warp the space-time continuum for this one. Too alike. xD
/Surprisingly not a lot of yaoi here for me. This might be because I was raised on it, but there aren't a lot of samesex pairings for me in Pokemon. This also has to do with the amount of Pokemon vs. humans, I suppose./
Kingdom Hearts--(Jesus christ we'll be here all god damn day.)
(Aqua/Even)--Yes, Aqua tops. Even is still a nerdy virgin, so it's kind of a given, lawl. It's just too funny to pass up. Besides, considering I am kinda sort of freakishly like Aqua, down to the tits and hair style, (albeit longer and slightly wavier), it...yeah.
(Axel/Kairi)--Yeah, as much of an AkuRoku ho that I am, damn, so cute. To me, I see her as being frustrated by Sora and Riku running off to save the world and leaving her behind and having sex and all that shit, and she's feeling left out and infantilized. When Axel comes along, who treats her like a human being, and teases her and tests her strength...well, she gravitates toward him. Yes, I overanalyze KH why do you ask?
(Repliku/Namine)--Oh my god. Just...Awwwwww. Cuuuute. :D She...well, continuing my trend of overanalyzing--she can't manipulate his memories, since he has all he wants--the urge to protect her. They both know that she wouldn't change that, and thus, he slowly comes into his own as a real person through her.
(Riku/Sora/Kairi)--They're just beautiful, pure and devoted--they've survived the worst together, and done everything they could to protect one another. They're best friends, and they're all they've got.
(Larxene/Marluxia)--Hahaha wtf. But yeah. They're both insane, they both love it, and thus they both love each other. He needs to be tested, and teased, and she's interested in pushing him as close to his breaking point as she can. That's in-game. In my little fanon bubble, yeah, they're just best friends who bitch about musicals, sex, and stupid boyfriends. Then Marluxia offers to be one of Larxene's 'stupid boyfriends' and it goes uphill from there.
(Lexaeus/Larxene)--This may actually be one of my top three favorite Kingdom Hearts pairings. If we take it realistically, without a CoM exclusive setting, you have someone who's vicious and violent and feral and possibly dealing with some sort of inner torture...then you have someone who's stolid, calm, collected, intelligent, and the metaphorical earth to her metaphorical lightning. It absorbs the shock, and takes it in upon itself. Lexaeus can stand as her solid ground when she needs it, and she would most likely be as viciously devoted to a boyfriend as she would be to her own fighting. She'd be simple, throw herself completely into it, be honest, blunt, and tell him exactly what she's thinking. He would admire that.
M/M--(Heeere we go, this is where it gets LONG. Also, I can't decide on one OTP, so yeah.)
(Xemnas/Saix)--Yeah, master/dog, bla. Damn it, I like it, and fanon-wise it's awesome. Saix needs comfort, someone stable who tells him fact, someone who can draw him in and keep him safe. He's in need of someone who can curb his vicious tendencies, and calm the berserker within...someone who understands the 'moon' like he does. Xemnas needs someone to take care of, someone who believes in him and validates his 'non'-existence.
(Xigbar/Demyx)--Demyx is a sweet sort of bubbly, gentle little boy, who doesn't let their situation as Nobodies bother him at all, whose task seems to be enjoying himself and making everyone else enjoy life with him. Xigbar is...Xigbar. As in, dark-humored, overprotective, and fascinated by Demyx's love of the life no one else really believes they have. He ends up getting pulled into Demyx's way of life, and it goes from there. Towards that, it's definitely Xigbar being completely fucking turned on by Demyx's adorable moe-moe uke-cake innocence and sweetness.
(Marluxia/Vexen)--Oooh, sexy. Just flat-out damn hot. Sorry, I admit it. It's definitely...different, canon vs. fanon-wise. Canon--twisted, Marluxia toys with him, makes him his effective 'queen', and plans to leave him alive to be his, erm...concubine, for lack of a better word, simply because he finds the man amusing with his fluster and pride. He enjoys seeing how far he can push him, and Vexen quietly submits, because its' better than what he currently has. He desperately needed someone to tell him he's worth something, and Marluxia, however twisted, is happy to satisfy.
In fanon--Marluxia's a tease, and enjoys messing with Vexen, who is still overworked, prickly, and would very much like to be left alone. Marluxia tries to push him into sociability, and Vexen is stubborn and refuses. Eventually, though, he's pulled in by Marluxia's inherent grace and honesty with him. They both understand that their hearts aren't, well, there, but they both enter a relationship because they believe it's worth building up, heart or not.
(Yes, I love this pairing, so you're suffering through goddess-knows-how-many paragraphs.)
(Luxord/Xaldin)--Both of them seem calm and sensible--the anchor of their respective Apprentices and neophytes. However, they're surrounded by morons and psychopaths, so they seek comfort in the other's sanity. Besides, Luxord's too straightforward for Xaldin to try to manipulate him. He can't be fooled, and thus he manages to wrangle both the truth and honest adoration from the man.
(Axel/Roxas)--We're going through the popular pairings now, are we? Anywho, this one's...more complex than most portray it as. Axel was violent, vicious, and destructive. Rather than sinking into despair over his Nobody-existence, he lashed out, flames filling the void where his heart was, spurring him on to rage. Roxas countered flames and rage with light, something that surrounded with warmth rather than destroyed with flames. Axel could throw all his energy into protecting and caring for him, and the metaphorical flames went from destructive to warm, keeping Roxas safe and making his body warm when his heart couldn't warm it. When Roxas dies, the light goes with him, and in an attempt to get it back, Axel tries to set the darkness on fire. It kills him in the end, but before it did, he made sure to see the sun.
(Riku/Sora)--What, you're surprised? I did say popular pairings. Both of them are just devoted to each other, with Riku unsure just how devoted Sora is. So he continues to run away and hide, but Sora isn't going to stop finding him. Eventually, he just accepts that Sora cares, and lets it be.
Plus Ansem/Xeheartless is a total pedophile. I say this as someone who isn't even making a pedophile joke, because child molestation=/=funny. Trust me. What I'm saying is honest to god Riku was raped or abused in some way, and Sora has got to heal him, because dear god I just want to see someone who goes through that get better and have a happy relationship. Right. Annnnd that hit the quick. Oops.
Vanitas/Ventus)--Oh yeah and I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?!
Right, anyways, just...corrupting someone as pure and sweet as Ventus and Ventus /liking/ it, because hey, he's not treated like a kid anymore, and just OH I ADMIT IT THEY JUST WORK WELL TOGETHER AND ARE TOTALLY HOT AND SHUTUP.
(Ven/Terra)--Oh yeah, you heard me, Ven tops. He's emotionally stable. Terra? HAHAHAHAHA no. Terra is so screamingly gay for him it's actually a bit amusing. I can't wait to see how gay they manage to make Sora and Riku in KH3 without making them out and out fuck. If they're planning on that? Well, I know /I'll/ be first in line for that game. ;p (going to hell for that god)
(Braig/Terra)--Actually kinda canon. Braig is just a perv that way. Also gunkink fuck yes. Twisted, sick, and violent...but both of them like it anyway.
(Braig/Even/Aeleus/Xehanort/Dilan/Ienzo)--...I...They're brothers. Like brothers. Braig is a slut and drags everyone down with him. Whatever. (shutup.) Bonus points if Ansem is involved in an exasperated older lover way.
(Xemnas/Saix/Axel/Roxas)--Because you all know I'm crazy and because I didn't want to break up two of my OTPs. Therefore a foursome makes perfect sense, obviously.
(Lexaeus/Zexion)--Zexion's young, moody, and the one who probably was hit hardest by the transition from human to Nobody. He needs someone to help him, and someone who will treat him like what he is--a precocious, moody, bossy scientist, but still a child. Lexaeus understands, and does so. He protects Zexion because he cares, and can't bear to see him in pain. Zexion gratefully accepts.
(Axel/Saix)--They're both pulled together by the shreds of their remaining sanity and humanity. Both complement each other's violent tendencies, and because of it, they can't ever really hurt each other. Saix still needs someone to tell him the truth, and Axel's willing to be blunt.
(Vexen/Zexion)--Total idolization. Vexen probably let Zexion tag along with him, overseeing care of the boy, and probably taking most of the tutoring responsibilites onto himself. Zexion grew up seeing him as a wonderful, intelligent man, someone he wanted to emulate, and someone who he was desperate to get approval from. Vexen and Lexaeus both take care of him after their loss of their hearts, but Zexion still firmly believes Vexen can fix them. Vexen does his best to take care of the boy, as he did before, and is determined to both keep him safe and validate his belief.
(Larxene/Namine)--Corruption, pure and simple. Larxene wants release, to tease and torture, to both make her enjoy her nonexistence and boot her ass out of bitching and moaning about Sora, and probably also just to get laid. Namine's fascinated by her--she really might be the only other female Namine had ever met at the time, and she reached out to something both similar and utterly different from her. This series needs more goddamn yuri shippings. And more female characters.
Final Fantasy--(Less of being-here-all-day, more of 'I need to get ahold of a PS3 for XIII.' Also I tried putting them in order of the games they were in, but I'm not sure how well that worked out. There's an OTP for each game, mind you.)
THE GREATEST PAIRING EVER:
(Exdeath/THE VOID)--Hurr. :3
(Kain/Rosa)--Because Cecil is about as straight as a curly fry. Also because I figure Kain needed a hug/girlfriend at some point.
(Edward/Rydia)--No clue. Muhuhuhu, I have very few shippings for the early games...wonder why...
(Faris/Bartz)--This amuses me more than it has a right to. I DARE you to find a funnier pairing. DARE YOU. Also cause Bartz grew on me after Dissidia.
(Lenna/Bartz)--Uh, god, I can't even remember if this was one of FF's "canon" ships, but hey, whatever. Cute. Faris is better though, obvs. :3
(Kefka/Terra)--...Well I don't know. I love Keffie though, so. Plus I figure he could get talked down from that I AM A GOD UWE-HEE-HEE-HEE pedestal if someone threw their underwear at him or something. Man needs to get laid, yo. (I will take one for the team and so volunteer so fast. Dude shut up I don't even know and I HATE clowns but whatever.)
(Locke/Celes)--He needs to get over his angst. Besides, they work well together and are sort of canon.
(Setzer/Terra)--Iunno. Seriously, Setzer has GOT to get around.
(Relm/Gau)--LALALA oh shut up I think it's kinda cute. Besides, Relm is such a freaking cutie. FFFFF.
(Setzer/Celes)--This totally rocks and you can just shut up right now. Setzer is so awesome and him trying to rig the Struggle Match in KH made me want to put my foot through the TV. HE IS A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER. A very sexy compulsive gambler but that isn't the point. The point is that this pairing is awesome and I don't care if it makes no sense. I'm the Red Ranger of crack, man.
(Tifa/Cloud)--Oh, son of a BITCH. I usually avoid 'canon' shippings like the goddamn plague, but the thing is, this one is so well-rounded, convincing, and sweet that I can see it. Cloud needs someone to take care of him, and Tifa does her best to do it, but she's not averse to kicking his ass when he needs it.
(Tifa/Rude)--Tifa is a seme dammit. Also, this is actually canon in-game, because he won't attack her and it is soooo sweet, and I love them both, and Rude needs someone sane and honest because Reno is, well, not. The two both share that sort of 'team-mom' vibe, and it's a definite gravtitating towards each other because of that.
(Tseng/Elena)--'Her' boss, huh? I don't know, it seemed very cute and possessive. Besides, I like Elena and Tseng both--shame we didn't see more of them in Advent Children, but I shall wait for Complete. Besides, Tseng needs someone to get him away from order and stability, and Elena seems like she'd enjoy doing so.
(Vincent/Lucrecia)--/headdesk/ Oh man, and this is coming from a Vincent fangirl, but holy shit. I feel terrible for Lucrecia, the poor girl, and genuinely like her character. Doesn't beat out Valenwind for me, no Vincent pairing can, but I want this girl to be happy, dammit!
(Jenova/Hojo)--...So yeah. I think that Hojo could go toe-to-toe with Jenova, being...Hojo. So, well, yeah. There is nothing to say about this, because right now, I am like 'what the hell is wrong with you, self.' Besides, Jenova needs someone crazy to satisfy her needs whenever Seph and Kadaj are off doing whatever.
(Yuffie/Loz)--...Yeah, this is another one of those that I will get blank 'WTF' stares for from people. AND YET. Loz mopes, Yuffie plants a boot in his ass ninja-style, and she basically drags him along for the ride. I see them getting along very well, surprisingly. MAYBE IF YUFFIE HAD MORE LINES IN ADVENT CHILDREN. /grumble./
(Aerith/Vincent)--Haha what. But yes. Aerith even looks slightly like Lucrecia, so I could see Vincent praying she'd be just like her and following her, and then Aerith reveals she is her own person, and Vincent realizes he likes that just as much. Dude, if you want to write it, there's a plotbunny. Do it.
(Cid/Yuffie)--DAGNABBIT LEAVE ME ALONE. Besides, Cid would temper her hyperactivity, so. Also Highwind is love.
(Fuu/Seifer)--Not even because she's like the de facto chick of their group but because...I don't know. Why the canon shippings of FFVIII pissed me off so bad I will NEVER understand, and it's not because I ship Squall or Seifer with anyone ELSE, mind you, (excluding each other, but wev), it's just...I don't know. But I reject you, canon pairings, more than I do for any other canon Squeenix pairing. For some reason. RAGE FOR AN UNKNOWN REASON, RAAAGE.
(Selphie/Irvine)--Lawl, so cute. EVERYONE LOVES THE COWBOY MAN-HO. Also because I like Selphie and think she's awesome enough for Irvine. Plus she'd probably put a stop to his ho-like tendencies...although that could be good or bad I s'pose.
(Selphie/Zell)--Oh my god the hyperactivity would, if translated into energy, be enough to power every technological device on the planet and THEN SOME. But Zell is so cuuuuute and cuddlyyyy and yesss.
(Quistis/Zell)--Instead of HYPERACTIVITY TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE it's more like HYPERACTIVITY awww Quisty do I haaave toooo and I actually ship them pretty hard.
(Quistis/Squall)--Because Rinoa deserves better. Or something.
(Seifer/Quistis)--Any excuse to put Quistis with anyone. Any excuse. That being said, I could see it working if I put a bit of imagination into it. :3
(Freya/Vivi)--Wow, this does not even make the slightest ounce of sense but I love Freya so fucking hard it hurts a little and Vivi is like the cutest thing ever; seriously he's like an adorable little goth hamster. I wanna give him a sunflower seed and call him Hamtaro. :3
(Zidane/Garnet)--Shutup it's cute. Also because my mind SAYS 'SHIP ZIDANE AND KUJA THIS IS A FABULOUS IDEA' but my sanity is like NO MIND YOU CUT THAT HORNY CRAP OUT FOR GOD'S SAKE THEY'RE TECHNICALLY SIBLINGS and my sanity won out for once.
(Kuja/Garnet)--You're welcome. No, no I don't know. I ship everything in sight. I could so make it work and you are all jealous.
(Auron/Lulu)--Auron's too cool to die for reals, k? Also I love Lulu so much because she's who I'd be in those games. The massive-breasted goth chick who beats people up with stuffed animals. So no difference from real life, really, except she gets away with it.
(Auron/Rikku)--/shrug/ Hell if I know. Rikku and Auron are both superfun to ship though.
(Auron/Yuna)--Fuck Tidus, he's annoying and self-centered. I know I am not alone in this thought. :( But yes, Yuna is so sweet and gentle and huggable and Auron is fun to ship as stated above. But in all seriousness, EVERYONE GET THEIR HANDS THE FUCK OFF OF MY YUNA. MINE. :(
(Wailord/Sin)--...This one, this one, just...blame my friends.
(Balthier/Fran)--AKA Captain Tightpants and Chewbacca. I love them both but a.) would YOU pass up the nickname "Captain Tightpants" and b.) Fran is Chewbacca because in the end this game=Star Wars.
(Kain/Cecil)--Because it's like "I WILL REDEEM YOU CAUSE I'M A PALADIN AND CAN DO THAT NOW" and ANGST and GUILT and FLUFF and AGH.
(Golbez/Kain)--This only makes sense in my head and even then...
(Golbez/Cecil)--Oh god dammit Dissidia you ruin EVERYTHING. So yeah haha this is my new yaoi pairing even though I TRIED not to ship it I really did it just HAPPENED.
(Shadow/Locke)--They can be emo together! I don't ship Shadow a lot for some reason, so here we are~
(Kefka/Setzer)--I can see this. That...that disturbs me. On so many levels. And yet it is awesome and I might actually write it. What the hell is wrong with me.
(Setzer/Locke)--Setzer seems like an "anything that moves" sort of guy, so yeah. Also this game fails forever at gay pairings. SHAME. :(
(Sephiroth/Cloud/Zack)--...I never shipped an OT3 before playing any Squeenix games. What does that tell you, hmm? In all seriousness, Cloud idolizes Sephiroth, who Zack convinces to take advantage of that, and Cloud can't live without Zack, so he tries to cling tighter to him when he's kind of like 'wtf-innocent-uke-style' towards Sephiroth's advances, and then Sephiroth just kind of says 'fuck it' and shares a bed with both of them. Also, Cloud is way too easy to molest. And Sephiroth as an overworked nanny to two boys, one of which takes advantage of the other's uke-cakeness every waking moment, just makes me laugh so damn hard. Also, in my head, they were too busy having sex in Cloud's old home in Nibelheim to give a damn about Jenova, and everyone lived happily ever after.
(Sephiroth/Cloud)--I've seen this ranging from funny to absolutely fucking tragic, and I love both versions, so. In the first, it goes as see-above, but Zack's off trying to hit on any brunette he sees, so Sephiroth is free to eat his uke-cake alone. Tragically...well, idols get knocked off their pedestals, don't they?
(Rufus/Reeve)--Okay, so Rufus...why do I see him getting around incredibly well? Why? Reeve is so cute and devoted though, and he's sort of like Rufus' morality pet. And I just...if Rufus needs a sort of sane-man older-brother mentor-guide, Reeve seems to be it. They're so cute together. ^^
(Tseng/Reno)--Reno is actually de facto second-in-command during FF7, and I have a tendency to pair Tseng with crazy people who will get him to either lighten up or start putting shots in his coffee--or both. Besides, Reno needs someone to curb his...violent, vaguely heroic-sociopathic tendencies.
(Rufus/Reno)--This one is less lightening Rufus up and more putting a metaphorical leash on Reno--Rufus seems like he'd enjoy that...
(Genesis/Sephiroth)--Seph as an uke is surprisingly attractive. Anywho, Genesis as an angry art critic who yells at terrible acting and throws books across the room amuses me. Sephiroth just keeps him quiet during godawful performances with kisses, and gets a collar and a leash to yank him back whenever he sees Twilight fans.
(Hojo/Sephiroth)--In a totally horribly twisted way that only ends in blood and tears. I do NOT ship this one happily, but in canon...well, it would make things interesting.
(Sephiroth/Cloud/Genesis)--Oh son of a bitch. Anywho, Gen and Seph are having fun and trying not to kill each other, then both spy an adorable blonde uke in the hallway, and pounce. Cloud is all starry-eyed over two of the greatest Generals paying attention to him, and they're both totally taking advantage of it.
(Cid/Vincent)--Valenwind forevs, yo. Seriously, haha awww. Cid will, once again, boot Vincent out of his perpetual angst cycle on the washing machine of life, and Vincent needs someone who can go toe-to-toe with his demons. Cid totally could.
(Loz/Kadaj/Yazoo)--SEE?! Square Enix, man, threesome shippings argh. Hey, they're all they've got. Besides, Kadaj doesn't get mother, so he'll go for the next best thing--his big brothers.
(Seifer/Squall)--Seifer would totally enjoy breaking Squall and making him his pet. God, he's tempermental and heroic-only-not-cause-he's-brainwashed-and-still-a-dick-either-way, and he'd try to force Squall to be the same. It will either end well or horribly. My money's on both.
(Seifer/Zell)--Because Seifer is a ho. And because it amuses me and is cute.
(Irvine/Seifer)--MAN-HO SHIPPING GOOOO yes.
(Why do I not have like any pairings for FFVIII? I think it might just be because the game tries SO DAMN HARD to ship two pairings I don't care for, so that might be it.)
(Kuja/Zidane)--Oh and there goes my stupid brain again going DUDE HOT and I just...don't ever argue with a hormonal teenager's brain, it will never end well.
(Zidane/Vivi)--That's not even...Oh shut up it's cute. Li'l monkey tail holding a flower and awww. :3
Funnily enough, even though IX had Kuja, Japan's answer to Frank N. Furter, (apparently), I don't have a lot of gay love for it. Shame shame.
(Wakka/Tidus)--LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU FROM ATOP MY COLLECTION OF YAOI FLUFF 'N' SMUT LALALA so in other news yes shutup. Dear mother of god the first hour of the fucking game is like BRAH I LOVE YOU BRAH DUDEBRO BROFORCE LOVE BRAH and I love Wakka so hard because he's all sweet and doofy and AWWW so yesh. ^^ Also this means Tidus gets his hands the fuck off of my sweet adorable little Yuna and we are all good. :3
(That little kittyface hides pure vindictive evil. Just so you're aware.)
(Jecht/Auron)--Oh Jecht, you and your hatred of shirts and shoes and pretty much clothing in general. And Auron, you and your obscene amount of clothing for someone so attractive. You can just share the coat. And I will be happy.
(Seymour/Tidus)--In a disturbing onesided way that ends with Wakka 'comforting' Tidus and then they get happily married and I am a weird person on the inside but I like Seymour and the fact that his mother's love made something as butt-clenchingly terrifying as Anima...uh yeah.
(Dissidia only; ergo, major crack outside Dissidia itself, duh.)
(Kefka/Kuja)--Go to hell, it totally makes sense. Eternally the fangirls praise Dissidia for shoving all the FF heroes and villains together. Plus I love Kefka to disturbing, disturbing levels.
(Sephiroth/Kuja)--Can you tell whether or not this is yuri? Neither can I. xD Also why in the hell is Kuja so easy to ship? I figure it's because he's sorta like a 'baby villain,' if that makes sense; like, he's got the whole OMG MY EXISTENCE ISN'T REAL of Seph and UWE-HEE-HEE LET'S BURN SHIT DOWN of Kefka, but he's a lot...younger-ish-looking/acting than both of them.
(Sephiroth/Cloud)--I'm putting this here again if only because, "On your knees! I want you to beg for forgiveness!" was COMPLETELY intentional and if Nomura ever tries to tell me Tifa/Cloud is the "true" pairing of FFVII I might have to smack him.
(Celes/Terra)--This is so very canon. So very, very canon. I don't even know what to say to the whole "Do you know what love really is, Celes?" conversation. I mean Jesus christ. Like...Just throw me a bone, Squeenix? A bone made of lesbians? Please?
(Not enough women in this game. RAEG I TELL YOU, RAEG.)
(VII--Includes all of the Compilation as well~)
(Cissnei/Elena)--The "Rookie versus seasoned vet" thing works in this case. Also because Elena is so cute and does not get enough love and god damn it Advent Children what the fuck with not putting Tseng in there this is a horrible travesty and should be solved not by the courts but god on his almighty sequined throne. YEAH YOU HEARD ME SQUEENIX HOP TO IT.
(Jenova/Lucrecia)--LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALA anyways I think it'd actually be kind of cool, considering Advent Children just made Jenova look like a white-haired Na'avi instead of Eyeboob the Squid-Nippled Wonder so yeah. So the moral of the story is that Hojo ties the entire plot together and I think he's awesome even though he is a complete dick. I don't even know.
(God damn it I hate not shipping yuri. :( The thing is, I don't like shipping Tifa/Aerith just for my lesbian fix, but apart from Yuffie they're kind of the females with the biggest role. I WANT MY LESBIANS SQUEENIX PLEASE.)
(VIII--slightly better with the gay thing.)
(Quistis/Selphie)--Oh hush I need my fix.
(Quistis/Rinoa)--Because Squall has Seifer or something also because Rinoa couldn't deal with Squall's baggage forever.
(Rinoa/Selphie)--Why in the hell is Selphie so easy to make a lesbian?
(Edea/Rinoa)--It sort of makes sense, considering the male halves of their romances that I dislike are off having wild kinky electroanimalistic sex with each other so yeah.
(Ultimecia/Rinoa)--I don't even care. Ultimecia is hot damn it and Squall is a (lovable) emo git so he doesn't ever really get much. I would throw him to his fangirls if I was a worse person; mercy is the mark of a great (wo)man and all that...
(Freya/Garnet)--in a mentor-student sort of relationship that kind of grows.
(Beatrix/Garnet)--Because I can mostly also because Steiner does NOT deserve someone as cool as Beatrix.
(Beatrix/Freya)--Just awesome. Badass ladies in a relationship yes please!
(Not much but FREYA so it works out okay.)
(Lulu/Yuna)--They're both beautiful and I love them both so this will work. Shutup it will.
(Lulu/Rikku)--Because when I want to keep Yuna for myself, Goth girl+Genki girl works out juuuust fine.
(Paine/Rikku)--Basically the same as above, except more PUNK ROCK goth than elegant goth.
(Rikku/Yuna)--Why the hell is Riku in like almost all of my yuri shippings for this game? She doesn't like overly scream lesbian or anything, it's just like, uh yeah.
(Fran/Ashe)--I love Fran and Captain Tightpants as a couple but hey.
(Ashe/Penelo)--Oh my god Penelo is SO CUTE holy crap so adorable. ^^
(Fran/Penelo)--I'm just throwing the female main leads together and seeing what happens. But this time it WORKS.
(It is VERY hard to ship yuri in Squeenix games, for some odd reason. Mostly because either the females are with the males, or the men are off screwing each other--the females, while well-characterized, usually, just have an incredibly unfair ratio of like, 80:20. Argh.
The World Ends With You-- (OMFG THIS GAME. THIS. GAME. OMFG. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE.)
(Kariya/Uzuki)--In which Pinky is the one with the dedication/brains. Oh Animaniacs. That aside, FFFF I love this pairing. It grew on me, mostly because I initially LOATHED Uzuki because after Raimu dies BITCH MOCKED BEAT but then I forgave her at some point because of her being so cool with Lollipop. I mean, I'm still a bit "frowny-face" to her because of the Beat-mockery, but Konishi CRUSHED HER TO DEATH (again) in front of Beat so she earned my hatred and left Uzuki with a :3 on my part. I think Kariya really does keep her sane, steady, and likable. Without him, she wouldn't nearly be as interesting or sympathetic, so mad props.
(Shiki/Beat)--Everyone wants to ride the Beat, yo. /Shot so dead for the stupidest pun ever shutup it's eleven at night./ But seriously, he did seem to have a teeny crush on her and it was cute. :3
(Megumi/Rhyme)--I have no. Idea. But I intially was like "meh" to Megs and then when his real goals were revealed I literally cried at his death scene. He became so awesome for me in restrospect, and he did keep her alive for Beat...I dunno. Also since Konishi turned out to be Ironface the Fuckbag, there went a shipping for Megs and HE NEEDS THE LOVE. :(
M/M--(if you're surprised this section will be long, you obviously have never played a Square Enix game before.)
(Joshua/Neku)--Is it like heresy if Squeenix made Jesus gay? Because I personally don't care but you know, checking for the pursuit of knowledge. Also seriously fucking Joshua. So. So. SOOOO gay. Like, gay by even Squeenix standards. Like, literally every other fucking line of his dialogue is flirting with Neku or a double entrende of homosexuality. I could list all the examples but I'd be here all fucking day. Joshua is god and god is gay. Somewhere, in some back-asswards evangelical country, some religious teenager got this game as a present and their mind was fucking blown. I love this game.
(Sho "So Zetta Slow" Minamimoto/Daisukenojo)--I happen to LOOOVE Beat's real name, lol. Also this pairing is so fucking crack. I chalk it up to Beat being a Reaper for like a week and Sho just being...eh, so zetta sexy? I dunno. This pairing interests me if only because Beat's inability to be controlled and Sho's hatred of control and limits...I think it could be interesting. Besides, it would shock absolutely no one if they were both gay. Absolutely no one. NO straight man would refer to another man as "Tabooty" or ask if he's making a "Tabooty call." That was actual dialogue in game, and I literally had to put down my DS and try not to pee myself laughing. My god, I'm surprised there's no "Rainbow Surprise" pin.
(Joshua/Sho)--Born from an incredibly...interesting...dream of mine. Naughty Sho and his insubordination~ Also someone needs to tell my mind to stop being such a perv. Also LET'S SHOVE NEKU INTO THIS PAIRING WHY NOT
(Sanae Hanekoma/Sho)--I read a good fic about it, and to be honest, what the hell, why not. Hanekoma is so awesome it's scary and Sho is so zetta insane and that's all I ask for, really. Also the fic was MPreg. SECRET GUILTY PLEASURE REVEALED SCANDALOUS.
(Beat/Neku)--Once again, read a really good fic and said "hell with it." Besides, it amuses me, because Beat would be the worst flirter ever, it's written all over his face. He so needs cuddlin'. :D
(Hanekoma/Joshua)--I think that Josh probably did come to him for comfort when he was "younger," (so to speak), and the idea struck a personal emotional chord with me. So that had more to do with it than anything...that said, this could work.
F/F--(a bit more than some other Squeenix games, but once more, stupid 80:20 male to female ratio I hate you so much)
(Uzuki/Konishi)--Foe Yay to the extreme. Plus I can see Kariya being a total amused voyeur/gay boyfriend confidante about the whole thing. The one thing I can ship involving Konishi. I hate her so much it's like insane. I wanted very very much to like her but then she crushed Rhyme to death, mind-fucked Beat, and betrayed Megs. Oh no she DIDN'T. So Uzuki gets to keep her evil ass in line. If I just pretend that whole Rhyme fiasco never happened it all works out YAY DISCONTINUITY
(Shiki/Eri)--BEST FRIENDS FOREVER you know something shutup I need some yuri in my life. Also because Shiki is so fucking cuuuute awww glasses and awwww. But Mr. Mew better not be sneaking into their room to steal their clothes as blackmail because that would be terrible. Evil li'l cat piggy. :3
(Shiki/Rhyme)--Shiki wants to help her find her dreams again...so that's where it starts. In my head it's really very fluffy and sweet, so I'm not complaining.
Phoenix Wright--(Okay it's almost over I promise. Spans all three games, plus Apollo.)
(Maya/Phoenix)--Aww, she totally adores him and her love is the kind that you're stuck with forever. xD
(Juan/Adrian)--...Uhuh. Besides, she got close to him through Celeste, in my mind.
(Shelly de Killer/Pearl Fey)--WTF SELF. I have NO WORDS. Except innocence and affably evil? Yeah.
(Diego/Mia)--This is so adorable and sad that it hurts.
(Maggey/Gumshoe)--AWW OH MY GOD CUUUUTE. They are just so cute it is almost painful to see them together. THE INSULIN IT BLEEDS USSSS
(Franziska/Miles)--I love them both, Franz obviously adores him, and Miles learns to love her and her insane courtroom tactics.
(Matt/Juan)--Hey. Hey. Shut up. Also, rivalsex ftw. Besides, I love 'em both.
(Edgeworth/Phoenix)--My boyfriend says it's canon, and he doesn't even ship yaoi that often. xD
(Kristoph/Apollo)--GLASSES. GLASSES, PEOPLE, GLASSES.
(Manfred von Karma/Gregory Edgeworth)--Manfred bitchslapped the defense for 200HP! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! Gregory Edgeworth fainted, and no one had a Fenix Down. ):
(Edgeworth/Gumshoe)--My boyfriend liking E/P or not, this I like better. So. Cute.
F/F--(THIS series has some good yuri, yes.)
(Franziska/Adrian)--Adrian needs to be taken care of by someone. Franziska needs to dominate someone. Either way, the yuri fangirls win.
(Franziska/Emma)--See two pairings above. Only Adrian is more in need of Franzy's whip-of-love.
(Celeste/Adrian)--Well, the same applies here, only Celeste is warped by Matt and Juan both, so even Adrian has to help heal her.
(Angel/Lana)--Angel might do this as a sort of revengetastic...thing. Yeah.
(Mia/Lana)--Oh for god's sake leave me alone with my yuri, yo.
REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA (This film does NOT get enough love. It is SO AWESOME SO AWESOME.
(Amber/Graverobber)--All the Shilo/Graves fans can bite me. This is my OTP like fierce, yo. Besides, I don't think Graves ever even learns her name! (I'm assuming Needle Through a Bug doesn't happen in the events of the movie.)
(Shilo/Pavi)--In the movie itself? Hell naw. But in this little ficlet that came to be in my mind and will never be published (most likely)? Ohhh yes.
Overall Favorite Characters--(they're the ones who will get the best lines. c:)
KH--(original characters plus the Disney ones with a slightly different interpretation/personality only; FF doesn't really count for me):
Final Fantasy (overall, trying to go in order)--Firion, Maria, Edgar, Kain, Cecil, Golbez/Theodore, Rydia, Rosa, Golbez, Faris, Bartz, Galuf, Exdeath, Gilgamesh, Celes, Terra, Setzer, Shadow, Locke, Cyan, Gau, Relm, Shadow, Kefka SO MUCH, Sephiroth, Cloud, Vincent, Cid Highwind, (Highwind is love~), Aeris/th, Tifa, Barret, Nanaki, Cait Sith (no really, Scottish cat? Hell yeah!), Reeve, Rufus, Reno, Rude, Elena, Cissnei, Tseng, Zack, Genesis, Angeal, Hojo, Lucrecia, Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo, Seifer, Squall, Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Laguna, Edea, Fuu, Raijin, Freya Crescent, Vivi, Zidane, Garnet/Dagger, Beatrix, Kuja, Fratley, Yuna, Lulu, Rikku, Auron, Tidus, Wakka, Kimahri in his own way, Jecht, Balthier/Captain Tightpants, Fran, Ashe, Penelo, and while I haven't gotten to play XIII yet, (dammit lack of PS3!), Fang, Vanille, and Lightning? Lesbians all, and thus I rejoice.
The World Ends With You--BEAT, Rhyme, Kariya, Uzuki, Megs, Sho Minamimoto, Hanekoma, Joshua, Neku, Ken Doi, (the Ramen Don storyline made me all equal parts :( and :3 with joy and sad. Shut up, it was sweet.), Mr. Mew, (because that cat is secretly a witch I swear), and 777. I was so sad when he got erased. Why did you do that Konishi. You bitch. :(
REPO! The Genetic Opera:Nathan, Shilo, Pavi, Rotti, Amber, Mag, Luigi. Graves is cool and all but the amount of the fangirls he has is a bit off-putting. He is a drug dealing hobo that sleeps in a dumpster. PEOPLE.
Pokemon (ALL continuities; starts with anime, then manga, then game. If I name a Pokemon, assume it's one of the 'mons from the movie or anime, and Ash's unless otherwise stated.)--Mewtwo, Jirachi, Entei, Ash (Kanto and Johto only), Misty, Professor Oak, Tracey, Sabrina, May, Zoey, Harley, Latias, Cynthia, Latios, Meowth, Chimchar, Pikachu, (Kanto/Johto only because they made her a man in the next few and "genderless" or not, she was better as a more femme voice of reason to Ash), Gligar, CHARIZARD, Squirtle (oh my god those SUNGLASSES), Aipom, Grovyle, Bayleef, May's Skitty, Harley's Wigglytuff, Mew, Lucario, and Darkrai. So much Darkrai.
Special mention goes to Bertha, who is not only a badass granny but drives like fucking SPEED RACER. So yeah.
(manga): Red, Professor Oak, Blue, (Blue is the male for me, I started with the games first, heh...), Green, Sabrina, (awesome in any incarnation), Giovanni, Lt. Surge, Blaine SO MUCH, Archie and Maxie, who are surprisingly not morons in this incarnation, Ruby, Sapphire, Gold, Silver, Crystal, Pryce/Mask of Ice, Bill, Yellow, Lance, Diamond/Dia, Pearl, Platinum/Lady Berlitz, Diamond and Pearl Adventures!Cyrus, (he turns into a truly woobie-tastic mad scientist, and I loves me some mad scientists but GOOD), DaPA!Hareta and DaPA!Mitsumi.
(games)--Giovanni, Sabrina, Mr. Fuji, Blaine, Blue, Looker, Cyrus, Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, Dahlia, Darach, Pearl, (game-rival version), Professor Rowan, Professor Oak, Professor Elm, Professor Birch, all badass in their own ways, Baoba, (the Safari Warden; he seems pretty chill), Petrel, (he has a Wigglytuff somewhere; hell I'm not sure if it's canon but it's firmly cemented in my mind, therefore he rocks), Clair (SO MUCH LESBIAN VIBES OMFG), Whitney, Bugsy, Lt. Surge, Jasmine, Sabrina, Erika, JANINE YES TOTALLY, Koga, Karen, Bruno, (HOO-HAH!), Agatha, Lorelei, Lance, Cynthia, Lucian, Aaron, Flint and Volkner, Bertha, Chuck, Eusine, Morty, Winona, Steven Stone, Wallace, Wattson, Flannery, Tate and Liza, Juan, and Red for being a hardcore Bonus Boss.
Favorite Pokemon overall (bolded are the best ever~): CHARIZARD, Entei, Ponyta, Jynx, Rapidash, Lapras, Houndour, Houndoom, Skarmory, Miltank, Smeargle, Arcanine, Flareon, Jolteon, Eevee, Vaporeon, Umbreon, Espeon, Glaceon, Meganium, Bayleef, Aipom, Chikorita, Cyndaquil, Typhlosion, Quilava, Feraligatr, Skitty~, Marowak, Cubone, Gengar, Haunter, Raikou, Suicune, Tyranitar, Lugia, Mew, Mewtwo, Scyther, Mantine, Octillery, Sunflora, Lopunny, Gardevoir, Porygon2, Missingno, (Ghost, Fossil!Kabutops, Fossil!Aerodactyl), Rattata, Raticate, Zigzagoon, Absol, Mightyena, Ivysaur, Squirtle, Wartortle, Blastoise, Wigglytuff, Jigglypuff, Igglybuff, Clefable, Rayquaza, Latias, Latios, Jirachi, Charmander, Charmeleon, Kecelon, Aerodactyl, Kabutops, Bulbasaur, Totodile, Gabite, Pidgeot, Noctowl, Hitmonlee, Hitmontop, Farfetch'd, Origin Forme!Giratina, Sky Forme!Shaymin, Ditto, Nidoking, Nidoqueen, Nidorina, Nidoran (male), Nidoran (female), Corsola, Spheal, Sealeo, Walrein, Munchlax, Snorlax, Pikachu, Raichu, Pichu, Duskull, Dusknoir, Sableye, Mawile, Elekid, Magby, Togepi, Togetic, Togekiss, Swinub, Dewgong, Seel, Kingdra, Teddiursa, Furret, Murkrow, Honchkrow, Midreavus, Mismagius, Persian, Gligar, Beedrill, Butterfree, Gyarados, Seviper, Zangoose, Snover, Arbok, Hippopotas, Hippowdon, Golem, Sandshrew, Sandslash, Flygon, Salamence, Froslass, Snorunt, Blaziken, Swampert, Sceptile, Grovyle, Mudkip, Shuppet, Banette, and Altaria.
QUOTES SECTION: Yeah shutup. It's a long profile but most of this ties into me being a huge ship-freak and nerd. So hopefully it'll either amuse you, or if you skim well enough, you might even pick up some plot twists about my fics. :p
"Oh my god you've known her for like a DAY! Back off, Tidus, WAKKA RESTRAIN YOUR BITCH FOR GOD'S SAKE!"--Me during the Jecht-shot segment. I hate that thing so much. Haaaate. Why? Simple; the button mashing is like quicktime obnoxiousness to the extreme and the cutscene isn't skippable. And then he's all like AW SHUCKS IT WAS NOTHING and I'm like NO IT WAS NOT NOTHING MY FINGERS ARE CRAMPING.
"This would be the best LP ever."
"It so would have been. I am so sad this will never happen again--oh dammit Kairi just got the pokerus, one of them went bi, although I have a Wooper named Blooooop and an Oddish named Larbins (soon to be Marluxia) so it was probably Blooooop."
"We are totally though seriously transcribing this chat, and in the future, when all of civilization is fallen and this chat stands, they shall know of KH and they shall know of its' massive orgy of orgyness. Seriously, Jesus."--My BFF Dub and I discussing his SoulSilver file; he named his PC Larxene, (he was a girl), and got a Totodile named Demyx. Demyx caught the Pokerus, so I suggested catching an Organization-themed team to fit in with the massive gayness because Pokerus is CLEARLY an STD CLEARLY duh and so this happened.
"Omfg: "My RATTATA is cooler than other RATTATA. It's like my RATTATA is in the top percentage of RATTATA."
"I'm checking out RATTATA's moves and devising strategies!"
"Joey uses Smogonnnnnnnn cheaterrrrrrrrr."--Dub again with me providing the hysterical giggles in the background.
"Ohgod, I just got his grandparents' numbers."
"GRAMMA TRAINERS EXCHANGE NUMBERS SHUTUP, right? Funnily enough, they're totally doing this for their older fans; no little kid would get that. They totes know like twenty-five year olds are buying this."
"Ohgod Ari, those people would have been your age when this first came out..."
"...wait shit I'm--OH GOD seriously we need to stop being brainpartners; give it time and we'll be like telepathic for realz."--Dub and I AGAIN.
"Oh. My. God. BRAH! BRAH, I LOVE YOU, BRAH! DUDE, BROFORCE MAN, FISTBUMP OF LOOOOVE BRAH!" (summarization of events in my mind as I am watching the game in amazement)
"Holy Jesus, it's like the first game with voice acting, and you gay it up within like the first hour! Way to GO, Squeenix, IT'S A RECORD!"--Me upon replaying FFX. I mean holy cow. Wakka and Tidus during the first hour or so, ESPECIALLY before you meet Yuna who sadly gets stuck with Tidus (COME TO ME SWEETIE LESBIANS HAVE BETTER RUGS) and so we have them being homoerotic to the EXTREME. Like WOW.
"You know, there comes a time in my life in which I totally have this great metaphor for this sort of touching scene but I lose it or I realize that comparing the irony of this to Winston Churchill's new neighbor being Adolf Hitler's crazy cat-lady sister is really not a good idea."--Me on Cloud realizing his idol is kind of sort of totally fucking nuts. I'm still unsure as to why my friends think I'm a good sympathetic person to turn to in times of need.
"Fee, if I have said it once I've said it EIGHTY TIMES. FtM is like F.E.A.R. and Elfen Lied. If you knew THEM then you wouldn't bug me about the PLOT TWISTS."
"But I'm too lazy to look them up!"
"Then you can just take your spoiler redacted and spoiler redacted."
"God I hate you." --My other BFF Fee and I discussing Fill the Moon. Go ahead, mention "spoiler redacted" in a conversation with him. I dare you.
"Oh my god, apparently I turn my back for five minutes and Game Freak gays up my Soul Silver file. Wow, if I can make that work with everything, I'll be set with fanfic material for LIFE."--Me during getting Erika's phone number. She's basically flirting with Jasmine while Jasmine is getting .///. sort of feelings about Clair. And it is kind of totally hot.
"LT. SURGE FUCKING NUKEM: ALWAYS BET ON THE SURGE."--Me. (Duke Nukem=Lt. Surge. I mean holy shit. Go look up pictures. GO.)
"Interesting conversation starter."
"I mean one of my friends found Marluxia spanking Sora and I was like WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT and Steve opened it while I highlighted the notes she'd sent me and it can't be unseen. Sadly though, my first thought after OH GOD MY EYES was "wait why isn't that Vexen?"
"You are truly a product of the desensitized internet generation, Ari."
"Indeed."--Me and Fee. Yeah, it was...yeah...it...Well, yeah. What do you say to that?
"Holy shit jesus does the NAACP have a branch in Japan? Like, nip this stuff in the bud, man." --Me and another friend; as much as I love Barret and Sazh, it's, uh...problematic. And we still haven't had a black female main character; dark-skinned maybe but geniunely african-american looking? Nada.
"Okay, quick, two hot men in a room together. You don't know who they are or whether or not they know each other. Are they gay?"
"Congratulations, you're a fangirl."--Me and another girl at school; I like to think of myself as "sensible" but honestly I might've said the same thing.
"Okay, I think I may be a huge nerd."
"Wow, really? This just occurred to you? After all the times it's ALREADY occurred to you?"
"No, it's really bad this time."
"How so, Ari?"
"Okay so I'm getting changed out of my school clothes and it just hit me that I'm changing Job Classes!"
"...Wow, holy shit. You weren't kidding...you complete nerd." --I'm not joking and it's awesome. I am gonna totally tell my parents I'm "Changing into a Berserker!" or something when I'm in my room.
"I think I may have accidentally married Ansem."
"So, I told you about when I was a kid I wanted to marry Dracula and murder him, thereby usurping his role as the Lord of All Transylvania?"
"...You weren't joking?"
"No, I wasn't, but that's not the point. The point is, my favorite version of the movie was the one with Christopher Lee in it, right? So now that he's the real Ansem and everything...am I going to have to go through this again? I just couldn't bring myself to do it! And that's saying a lot, because I was a power-hungry motherfucker when I was a little kid!"
"...I'm sorry, I'm still trying to understand what kind of little girl plots politically-motivated murder at the age of four."
"The awesome kind."--Me and another friend.
(You know, I normally hate doing these sort of things, but it's a place to ramble about KH. So yeah. Haha that's right you'll never be free of this profile. EVEN IF YOU LEAVE THIS PROFILE, YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE THIS PROFILE!)
SECTION ONE: The "Favorite" Questions
1. Your favorite KH guy?
2. Your favorite KH girl?
3. Your least favorite KH guy? Why?
4. Your least favorite KH girl? Why?
Xion. Not because she takes away from AkuRoku, not because of anything superficial, no. It's because everything becomes all about her. And because I'm so attached to the Organization, to me, it was like a punch to the gut. Riku was no longer trying to find Sora--it was Xion. Roxas leaving the Organization and subsequently dying? All about Xion, baby. Axel losing his mind over losing Roxas, and defecting from the Organization entirely? Fucking Xion. Xemnas turns into a world-dominating megalomaniac because of who now? Xion. I'd like to state for the record that his motives were much better, interesting, and cooler when they were vaguely ambiguous. (Aside from the 'completion' thing.)
The game that was otensibly about the Organization turned from "The Organization's Backstory" to "Xion and Those Other Thirteen People." And fuck her for it. We didn't need more angst, we needed backstory. The Organization was left to flounder because of it, and perhaps the fanon might not have gotten so out of hand if we'd had more backstory. The friendship between Axel and Saix was the only decent part of it, really. Everyone else? Personalities effectively reduced to one-liners. I'm all for reinventing characters, but that's going a bit too far and leaving it up to crazed yaoi fangirls is probably not the best idea.
She reduced what could've been a great game to shambles. 358/2 Days promised us awesomeness, and then bitchslapped us with a Sue. Thanks a lot, jerks.
5. Favorite World? (Includes both KH1 and KH2)
6.) Least Favorite World?
Neverland in CoM (the GBA version)--you are on a ship. That's it. That's not Neverland. :( Also because I never liked the Disney Peter Pan anyways.
7. Favorite Weapon? (Includes both KH1 and KH2)
8. Least Favorite Weapon?
9. Fav. Summon? (includes both KH1 and KH2)
10. Fav. Form? (aka. Sora's Forms)
11. Favorite Pairing? (includes yaoi coupling) Why?
12. Least Fav. Pairing? (includes yaoi couples) Why?
13. Any cool crack pairings you've heard of? List 'em.
14. Weirdest Pairing(s) You've Ever Heard Of?
15. Any "KH-pet-peeves" you have?
...This is going to be long. Turn back now while you still can.
Let's start with the Organization. Vexen being horribly mangled, character-wise, and treated as a pedophile/rapist/psychopath, when he's really not. (Except maybe for that last one.) Lexaeus being portrayed as an idiot, when in reality, HE IS A MOTHERFUCKING SCIENTIST THAT MAY OR MAY NOT WRESTLE CROCODILES.
The "lesser" (read: not as attractive) members of the Org being shoved off into a corner. Larxene being portrayed as a shallow, nasty bitch. Poorly-written canon-ruining yaoi shippings. Xion. Xion Xion XION. Sensible fangirls being lumped in with psychotic yaoi-only, het-loathing, Kairi-bashing fangirls.
Xaldin not getting enough love. Axel being turned from "psychotic-murdering-backstabbing-sociopathic-monster" to "nanny-to-angst-ridden-boy-who-he-clearly-wants-to-sleep-with-not-that-this-fangirl-is-complaining-but-jesus-christ-talk-about-character-derailment." This is done to a much lesser extent in KH2 than most people believe, since I actually quite liked his interaction with Sora, since it's like, "I'm helping you because I fell in love with your Nobody." But fanon? Jesus. Yaoi for the sake of yaoi. The lack of well-written, revalent, and interesting female characters. Probably more...
Despite all this, I love the series. The storytelling is beautiful, the characters may not get much development, at least in the Organization's case, but they still manage to be compelling, the emotions are real, and you become attached. I geniunely love the series, and I don't care that maybe my fandom is associated with endless yaoi before anything else. To me it's a good freaking series, and the fan-haters can bite me.
16. Fav. Partner in KH? (includes both KH1 and KH2)
SECTION TWO: Do you believe it, or not believe it?
17. Do you believe in the Xemnas/Saix theory?
18. Do you believe that Zexion is emo?
No, emo's much-misunderstood anyway. Anyways, I see him as a bratty, precocious, moody, bossy, and altogether very fragile teenager. He IS young, much younger than the rest of Castle Oblivion. He relies on Vexen and Lexaeus for comfort, that much is certain. He's a teenager, a brilliant teenager who has put up with much more than most.
19. Do you believe that Marluxia is gay?
20. Do you believe that Kairi is the most annoying character in KH?
Hell no. Xion. :( Kairi needed more screentime and a Keyblade that didn't fucking have FLOWERS ON IT, HOLY SHEEP SHIT, FLOWERS?! WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?! ...Ahem. I liked her. Want to see more of her being useful and awesome and getting the flowers off that fucking Keyblade.
SECTION THREE: Answer Yourself!
21. If Roxas had to choose either Namine or Olette, who would you root for? Why?
Axel would throttle them both. Seriously people, he's an overprotective, quick-tempered, easily angered psychopath, don't push him.
22. What's your theory on KH: Birth by Sleep?
I want it. Desperately. Because it looks like the game 358/2 wasn't, but I'm a bit disappointed that Demyx, Luxord, Larxene, and Marluxia all don't seem to feature. Although Aqua's boobs make it worth it. ;p
23. Was Chain of Memories a waste of time?
Fuck the card system, fuck it right in the ear. But storywise? No freaking way. Holy shit, it was an amazing storyline. I mean, really. For starters, we have the good guy slowly losing his mind and undergoing horrific psychological scarring, we have the other anti-hero good guy being psychologically tortured, and on the villainous side we have one of the best power-plays I've seen in a video game in a long time. It was the rank of the Apprentices versus the admittedly much stronger neophytes--rank versus power, and it was done beautifully. Especially Vexen. (Duh.)
Seriously, the pride and slight insanity made Vexen's interactions with Marluxia completely fascinating. Larxene in all her sexy sadist glory, Marluxia being awesome, Axel being psychopathic, Zexion losing a grip on sanity and seeking Lexaeus's comfort, Lexaeus's overprotective ferocity and quiet brilliance, Vexen's arrogance, Sora losing his mind, Namine going through hell and managing to hold her own, and Riku overcoming his demons (read: Ansem), with King Mickey being hip like bad-ass in the background...Chain of Memories had a brilliant storyline. I loved it, and it set the stage for the moral ambiguities that were soon to follow in KH2.
24. If you had the choice of meeting ONE (and ONLY ONE!) KH character, who would it be?
The Organization counts as one character fuck you. :B And then, I, like those who have come before me, would've been like, "listen up assholes, unless y'all wanna die, listen to me. I am a Zombie Queen from an alternate timeline, now obey me or I'll write slashfic."
25. Which KH character do you relate to the most? Why?
26. What's the most embarrassing moment that ever happened to you that had something to do with KH?
Hmm. I have no shame, so yeah. But I have a tendency to talk to myself, especially while I play video games, and I was cracking yaoi-related jokes and the like, before I realized the door to my room was open and my parents were in the living room. xD
27. Have you ever cosplayed as a KH character? If so, who? If not, who would you like to cosplay as?
28. The Funniest Moment in all of KH would be...?
29. The Hardest Enemy/Boss was...?
I can't kill the Organization. I can't. I have to close my eyes, press the buttons, and then mute the tv, turn it off, and go cry in my room for an hour. So you can imagine THOSE battles are tough. Besides them, I'd have to say...Giant Ursula, just because of the D: involved at GIANT CTHULU IN DRAG ON MY SCREEN MAKE IT GO AWAY.
30. What was a good edition in KH2 that made it oh-so-addictive?
The rest of the Organization. And Ansem. CHRISTOPHER LEE, YOU GUYS!!
SECTION FOUR: Decisions, Decisions...
31. Hayner or Pence?
32. Zexion or Marluxia?
33. Riku or Roxas?
34. Roxas or Sora?
35. Axel or Demyx?
36. Kairi or Larxene?
37. AkuRoku or SoRiku?
38. Namixas or Namiku?
39. Zemyx or AkuRoku?
40. SoKai or SoRiku?
41. Sea Salt Ice Cream or Paopu Fruit?
42. Cloud or Squall?
43. CloTi or Clerith?
44. Simple and Clean or Passion?
SECTION FIVE: The Last Section!!
45. List all the KH and Final Fantasy characters you've fallen for.
Vexen, Vexen, Vexen. Vexen. Now that I've gotten him out of the way; Xigbar, Xemnas, Axel, Xaldin, Luxord, Demyx, Saix, Roxas, Larxene, Marluxia, Namine, Kairi, Sora, Riku, Lexaeus, Zexion, Ventus, and Aqua. Assume the Somebodies of the Nobodies are equally bangable. Otherwise I am going to look like a fucking slut.
Final Fantasy? FINAL FANTASY? Hahaha oh man god let's start this one it'll be great. xD
Warrior of Light, (Dissidia made him pretty whoa), Cecil...and then we get to FFV. Lenna, Faris, Bartz...still not enough?
VI. Kefka, Terra, Relm, Celes, Setzer, Locke, and I don't see Cyan in a sexual light, but he's so brave and noble and a true fecking hero that he makes me stand up a little straighter, even when I'm going through tough stuff.
And then FFVII. When Tetsuya "Bishie King" Nomura took over.
Cloud, Vincent, Cid, Tifa, Rufus, Reno, Tseng, Elena, Cissnei, Genesis, Sephiroth, Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo, Reeve, Hojo, Lucrecia, (if she'd been a lesbian, the whole thing would have been solved, swear to god), Aeristh, (but she belongs with Zack...) but Zack, (so the option is SHARE :D), Lazarus, Nanaki, shutup, aaannnd Yuffie. Right.
FFVIII; well, Squall can have Seifer, and I can have Rinoa and then Squall and Seifer because damn, then Zell, Quistis, Irvine, and probably just can I mention Rinoa again because THAT SMILE GOD.
FFIX: Kuja. Kuja. Just Kuja. Everyone else is varying, but Kuja. Just...wow.
FFX: Okay, so Auron and Lulu and Rikku and Paine and stuff, but Yuna.
The great and grand High Summoner, the Lady Yuna. If she asked me to, I would saw off my own foot for her. She is the epitome of holiness and perfection, and I swear to god I'd follow her off the face of the earth. Holy shit, the Lady Yuna.
...I'm probably going to hell.
46. What crossovers would you like to see with KH?
...No, really. I have teams for the Organization and everything. I might actually write a drabble series based off of it.
47. Does anyone in KH look like another character? List 'em all!
48. Which new KH game can you absolutely NOT wait for?
49. Do you like KH1 or KH2 better? Why?
50. LAST QUESTION! What makes Kingdom Hearts one of the best games in the world!?
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