xBeyondWoodandNeville
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Joined 08-11-07, id: 1349624, Profile Updated: 05-18-12

Procrastination is the main reason I haven't uploaded anything here yet. I have a lot of unfinished fanfiction lurking on my laptop. For the time being, I'm content to merely read other people's fics.

I'm a general bookworm and tend to procrastinate by reading, be it books or fanfiction; or failing that, watching something funny on the telly.

My mind has been melted by studying Philosophy, and Hume, Sartre and Nietzsche are mostly to blame.


My main fandoms are Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Sherlock and Artemis Fowl (I guess I have a thing for geniuses!). I love Matt Smith, David Tennant, Arthur Darvill, Benedict Cumberbatch, David Mitchell, Charlie Brooker and Stephen Fry with a fiery passion. Just sayin'.


I ship too many pairings to be mentioned. If it's well written, I can usually stand reading it (in terms of non-canon or crack pairings).

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Road to Recovery by Snakequeen-in-Norway reviews
Pre-TLG/Non-TLG compliant. Basically me obsessing over TAC & wanting to know what happens as Arty recovers, so this is my take on it. Picks up right after the last scene of TAC. I'm a sap & a drama queen but there is a plot. T as of Chap 14. Eventual A/H, but the romance really isn't the main focus, hence it not being 1 of the genres. Cover art courtesy of ArtyDanna on deviantart.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 53 - Words: 142,299 - Reviews: 1814 - Favs: 604 - Follows: 599 - Updated: 6/3/2015 - Published: 8/6/2010 - [Artemis F., Holly S.] - Complete
Dark Blue by Kitsune Heart reviews
Oneshot. After a moment of fun goes awry, Artemis realizes that their time travel adventure has left Holly with a new phobia. Reluctantly, Holly allows Artemis a chance to cure this inhibition, also giving him a chance to overcome an old one. Fluffy?
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,373 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 185 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Holly S., Artemis F. - Complete
Fallen by Kitsune Heart reviews
Humans have long debated their origins, and even the fairies do not have all the answers. When Artemis lectures Holly on a few of the major theories, he stumbles upon one that is perhaps a bit more...apt than most people realize.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 736 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 8/9/2010 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
The Dead, the Broken, and the Living by Kitsune Heart reviews
Ever since Holly and Artemis met, their lives have been entwined. This does not guarantee a happy ending. One event in their lives, following three paths, could mean the difference between horror, adventure, and romance. Enemies, friends, and lovers.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 613 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 8/25/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Finale by Verok reviews
Sherlock Holmes had always enjoyed acting. He just never imagined how much it would hurt to have to act before John, before the Fall. One-shot, Sherlock's POV, near the end of 2x03 SPOILERS
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,598 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Bivouac by Lli reviews
SERIOUS TAC SPOILERS. The missing scene from the end of The Atlantis Complex. The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes a bivouac as "a usually temporary encampment under little or no shelter". And just what would Holly Short need shelter from?
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 902 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Holly S., Artemis F. - Complete
Seen In A Certain Light by Lli reviews
After an extraordinary event, can one return to an ordinary life? Holly, at least, is determined to try. And, needless to say, everyone pitches in to help - regardless of whether or not she wants them to.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 114,699 - Reviews: 476 - Favs: 382 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 9/8/2009 - Published: 5/7/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Under the Party Table by yummydreams reviews
Starts with Hermione and Cormac attending Slughorn's Christmas Party. And who knew that it would end with them both under the Party Table...? Rated M: hot and raunchy, you got it! Very believable plot with real extracts from HP book. [ONE SHOT] R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,736 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/10/2009 - Published: 8/17/2007 - Hermione G., Cormac M. - Complete
The Hippie Headmaster’s Pajama Party The Musical by Dreamstallion33 reviews
A parody on the fifth Harry Potter movie. Author not responsible for randomly feeling the need to sing or the urge to see Equus. Erratic bursts of laughter may also ensue please consult OotP to accurately complain to WB! ENJOY! R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,596 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/18/2009 - Published: 2/1/2008 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Hot Boy Who Jumps From Trees by Dreamstallion33 reviews
A spoof on the fourth Harry Potter movie. Author’s Warning: May cause severe head nodding in agreement, and erratic bursts of laughter. Author not responsible for: tears of laughter, an urge to throw the GoF DVD at someone, ect. ENJOY! R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,205 - Reviews: 364 - Favs: 328 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 7/18/2009 - Published: 1/27/2006 - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Renegade Characters by browniechadowes reviews
Stephenie gets a little annoyed when her characters try to alter/comment on her novel, Twilight. Rated M for language mainly due in part to Jessica's inner dialogue
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 23,901 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Glitter of Doom by browniechadowes reviews
Take 2. The characters of the Twilight series are back, and they are kicking butt and taking names commenting/altering New Moon. Rated M for general lack of a language sensor.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 28 - Words: 32,347 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Triangle of Shippiness by browniechadowes reviews
Take 3. Oh, you bet they're back again, the characters of Twilight, going big or going home, altering/commenting Eclipse. Rated M for serious lack of dirty mouth filter.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 31,937 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Uterus of Steel by browniechadowes reviews
Hey all, I'm back, dragging the Twilight characters kicking and screaming into the final installment of the Twilight parodies. Rated M for... well, have you read Breaking Dawn? *shudders*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 41 - Words: 41,745 - Reviews: 338 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Degrees of Poison by Fire Tears reviews
Being friends with Artemis, Foaly had said, would be like being friends with a viper. It was not an inapt analogy. After the events of 'The Time Paradox', Holly and Artemis have a discussion.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,381 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 349 - Follows: 49 - Published: 3/18/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
The Restricted Section by Soline reviews
ONE-SHOT. Hermione stumbles upon a Dark Arts book on seduction that pulls her in and doesn't release her. Snape catches her in the night and helps her out. Warning: Explicit! -EDITED-
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,316 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 320 - Follows: 68 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Sexy Hogwarts by Secret Snoopy reviews
Slash parody! Hogwarts is a place where slash runs wild, without a plot or a quality check. Rated M for minor language, sexual situations and strong stupidity. Now with added slush!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,376 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 8/7/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Giving in to Temptation: Pink Hearts Edition by GrandeVanillaSkimLatte reviews
Hermione is ready to celebrate Valentines Day with Fred and George, its just a matter of getting Ron out of the house and making sure he doesnt find out. Third in the series. FredHermioneGeorge.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,563 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 32 - Published: 2/13/2008 - Fred W., Hermione G. - Complete
Voldemort the Great by icefire-lioness reviews
Harry Potter finds a diary by Voldemort. Is it what we expect? Ah, no. Not really.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,529 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/2/2007 - Published: 7/4/2007 - Voldemort, Harry P.
The Best Gift by Moldy Voldy reviews
What Ginny REALLY wanted to give Harry for his seventeenth... Vey much rated M for a reason.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,188 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 35 - Published: 8/11/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Epilogue by Arrmaitee reviews
SLASH! PARODY! You've all read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. But for those who crave an unauthorized, uncensored view of what really happened during the epilogue, nineteen years after Harry's saucy, slashy romp at Hogwarts, read on! DH SPOILERS!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,675 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/28/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Tease by Magical words from Muggle pens reviews
Malfoy's his usual cocky self, always teasing Hermione with sexual humor. Perfect way to embarrass a bookworm prude! But Hermione decides that Malfoy needs to learn a lesson on taking jokes too far. She's not going to hide behind her books anymore
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 24,333 - Reviews: 2091 - Favs: 1,885 - Follows: 786 - Updated: 2/9/2007 - Published: 6/20/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Artemis Fowl: The Aztec Incident by AgiVega reviews
26-year-old Artemis Fowl gets the greatest surprise of his life when Commander Holly Short pays him a visit, pleading for his help. They need to team up to save their son, whose existence Artemis has been unaware of...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 154,217 - Reviews: 1579 - Favs: 905 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 2/16/2005 - Published: 9/13/2004 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete