Author has written 8 stories for Book X-overs, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Lost.
Hello everyone, today is Friday, August 18th (OMG! SNAKES ON A PLANE!) and I'd just like to say that I'm going to actually start updating stuff again. Why you ask? Well, because, as a poor art student, I need something to pass the time in between school and episodes of Lost and working on projects (including a movie script which refuses to write itself). Unfortunatly, my shiny new Mac computer (which I needed cause I'm going into film editing) is not compatable with Fanfiction.Net (and several other sites. It's really starting to piss me off), so I have to upload through a PC which means I have to first buy Word for Mac. Oh joy. More money I don't have (I used some of my college account to buy this freaking copmuter). So...yeah...um, I'll update soon?
I will now make the LONGEST BIO IN HISTORY! Why? Because I'm excessively bored. I'm just going to put a bunch of quotes here that I think might possibly be funny but you might not. Whatever:
"There is a Cambells soup can around his neck. That is the best product placement I have ever seen..." -Me watching the 1967 version if The Producers
"Cation: Flammable Attention: Inflammable" ~On a perfume tag (no, I'm not kidding)
"Green Day Fan Since 1995. Corrupting Minds Since 1996." ~My pants...don't ask
"He's a skinny, white, German guy who can't dance. What's not to love?" ~Me on Dominic Monaghan.
"Yeah, let’s say we land on a tropical island in the middle of nowhere, right? I mean, plane crash, people dead, all that. Now, there's something creepy in the forest that’s knocking down trees and, we find out later, someone’s been on the island for an extremely long time. Answer me this; how would a Polar Bear survive?" ~Me to my biology teacher on Polar Bears, Lost, and the randomness of said show.
"Everything about life I didn't learn from ER I learned by watching Lost..." ~Dummies Guide to Lost
"I'm Lost!" ~a bunch of IM's Tiffany got that I swear I had nothing to do with.
(Me): Allie is having trouble finding stuff for Woody for his birthday. Have any ideas?
"I swear, it's menopause."
"//quoting Daily Show// Martha Stewart, public enemy number...752-"
"Here's a fun drinking game. Every time you hear the phrase 'furious but futile protest from democrats' take a swig. By the time Jeb Bush is president, you'll be so wasted that you won't notice the war in Syria." -Jon Stewart
"A Canadian website is now saying we showed this judge according to a Daily Show report."
"There is no such thing as a Daily Show report, we did not check our facts on that report and, I'll tell you why we didn't, because we don't check facts." -Jon Stewart
"I never thought US officials would lie." -Jon Stewart
"It really looks like, 'Oh shit! I gotta make a call!'" -Jon Stewart
//screen shows 'Syria's Unfortunate Events'//
//screen shows Rice-a-Rongi//
"The Micheal Jackson trial is a perfect chance for news and entertainment to come together and finally destroy themselves." -Lewis Black
"They just pimped my day." -Jon Stewart
"If Fiddy and Game can resolve their differencesm then there maybe some peazec in the Midzeazst...who looks more awkard saying that kind of line then little Whity-McWhity here?" -Jon Stewart
"I really think their foriegn policy goal is to spread iorny thoughout the world." -Jon Stewart
"Jon, you can't have your Democracy and eat it, too." -Samantha Bee
"And, as the president is fond of saying, we'll bomb that bridge when we come to it." -Samantha Bee
"Oh! So God's right there in your hearts...remind me again why you need a monument?" -Stephan Cobert
"At that moment a dark presence emerged from the catacombs of CNN and darkly proclaimed, 'The child is mine! Precious! So precious!'" -Jon Stewart
"Democrats have employed little Hurcules, Richers Sandract, to follow Mcully around the country and kick his ass." -Jon Stewart
"Wow...Brian Williams ran a story that he said was confermed and turned out to be false...welcome to network news baby!" -Jon Stewart
"Now, see, here's where the foul part comes in; we're showing you his face blurred in, but NBC...thinking he was dead...they no blurry him." -Jon Stewart
"Now, that should be New Yorks slogan, 'Welcome! Now get out!'" -Lewis Black
"I was busy waiting all night for the Columbus Day Bunny to come down my chimney and light fireworks in my pumpkin."
"We won. Rebuilding is for losers. Time to party. And then it's off to Syria for the next invasion."
"The US Military has given Saddam Hussein a message, and tonight a military aircraft will be flying over Iraq, broadcasting that same message to the Iraqi people."
"The judgement marks a key victory for the recording industry, in its aggressive battle against poor high school students and fun." -Jon Stewart
"You've probably heard the news, unless you were in a hole, in which case, you were probably the guy we caught." -Jon Stewart
"President Bush announced that we were landing on Mars today...which means he's given up on Earth." -Jon Stewart
(after showing a clip in which Jay Leno introduces Arnold Schwarzenegger as the new Governor of California) "Well, there you have it. We now officially live in the Matrix." -Jon Stewart
"(in Isreal) At first I was hesitant about coming here. But since I have been here, I have realised that Isreal is no more dangerous than New York City."
(after footage of Jerry Falwell saying "Blow them all away in the name of the Lord") "This just in, Jesus has quit." -Stephan Colbert
(after being "elected" in the controversial 2000 election) "I was not elected to serve on party."
"I love the people who put 'Charlie' and 'rated for drug references' in the same summary. If Charlie is in it, there's going to be some f-king drug references." ~Me on the new Lost section on FF.Net.
Charlie: "Oh, by the way, I found this." //holds up Kates' shirt//
Kate: //takes shirt// "It was full of bees."
Charlie: "I would have thought C's actually" ~Charlie and Kate in 'House of the Rising Sun'. I will now love Charlie forever (unfortunately, Claire kind of got to him first, and I don't want to mess with a hormonal pregnant woman who can probably kick my ass)
“Dude! Just pee on it!” ~ Hurley from Lost. If you didn’t watch the show, don’t ask.
“Impact velocity…physics my ass!” ~Sawyer/James/whatever the hell his real name is
"You got a band-aid?" ~Sawyer
"I'm not funny?" ~Charlie
"Have you been using that wacky paste stuff that made me see my sister get eaten?" ~Boone
"Sorry, doc, sounds fun, but my insurance ran out." ~Sawyar
"I don't think I can spell 'Trebuchet'." ~Boone
"Dude, it looks like someone steamrolled Harry Potter." ~Hurley
"How do I check for that dialating thing?" ~Charlie
"Me Kate. Me throw rock." ~Kate
"Oh, you're not crazy. Crazy people think they're getting saner." ~Locke
"Guess what? I just shot a Polar Bear!" ~Sawyar
"It's the best bloody peanut butter I've ever tasted!" ~Charlie
"I've never been so happy to hear the French!" ~Charlie
"I have an irrational fear of bees." ~Charlie
"What? You smell blood on the wind?" ~Boone
"Did they teach you how to predict the weather at the box company?" ~Boone
"One sugar plum fairy...two sugar plum fairies..." ~Charlie
"If I can kick drugs, I can deliver a baby! //pause// Let me explain. I'm a drug addict-I mean, I was a drug addict! But I'm clean now!"
"Dudes, listen: Our lives suck." ~Hurley
"Are you playing golf? ...can I play?" ~Sullivan
"We need to go to the crappy town where I'm hero." ~ Wash from Firefly
"You think you could do my hair too?"
"(apparently mimiking Mike) Tre, we hate to tell you this, man, but you know Shelly? Your drum set? She hasn't actually been talking back to you. Billie bought 'Ventreliquism for Dummies' and we kinda got carried away... Sorry, man." -Sarah B.
"All my religious beliefes are based off Star Wars." ~Mike Dirnt (who is officially the coolest person ever)
"Dogs are gonna take over the world. It's a known fact for those who believe it, kinda like the Bible." -Mike
"Our 'Waiting' video was totally a failure. MTV doesn't show any videos anymore. If we had a booty video - if we had, like, McG, with girls shaking their ass in the video -- it would probably get played. Actually, I am just really bitter right now." -Billie Joe
"You'd think we were really good at writing songs or something." -Tre
"All saints are gonna be there? Tre, you might get laid!" -Billie Joe
"I don't understand what Billie just said so, I'll talk about chickens..." -Tre
"Green day is like sex, when were good, were really good, when were bad . . . were still pretty damn good." -Mike
"I'm not gonna say anything inspirational; I'm just gonna fucking swear a lot." -Billie Joe
(On Who's Most Accident Prone): "It used to be Mike, but lately I've been catching up." -Tre
"What? You can heckle me if you want, it's okay, I won't understand!" (at a foreign concert) -Billie Joe
"I'm not as depressed as I used to be. The Prozac's working!" -Billie Joe
"'Welcome to Montreal-- fuck you', would be a good sign at your highways." -Billie Joe
"I have a daughter and she's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She gives me a good excuse to watch cartoons." -Mike
"They have bad taste. I am NOT a good-looking guy. (Billie, when asked about his infatuated fans)"
"I have a message for all the kids out there: I didn't complete high school, and I'm very rich very successful." -Tre
"Fear Factor: Who can take my xylaphone playing for more then 7 minutes?" -Billie Joe
"It's a good year when you make up a name for a drink and you have a number one album. Oh! And you make up a sexual position. The Bullwinkle. I could demonstrate-"
"Uh...wanna have sex and get married! Sorry..." ~Billie Joe and pick-up lines ("Yes." Tiffany and Chelsea...we're weird...)
"I like me that Duran Duran." ~Tre Cool on guilty pleasures in his CD collection
"I would say...uh...the second season of American Idol."
"This song is called American Idiot. It's about me." ~Billie Joe
"I can suck my own."
"Lets go shopping!" -Billie Joe
"We're Green Day and we're getting in the van to film the video for the first single off our album American Idiot! Come with us! //jumps in// Actually, not really. //shuts door//" -Tre
"Okay, who's going to steal the car?"
"Tre's like a wind-up monkey. Just let him go!" -Billie Joe
"Lose the shoes and the big shorts and the Hurley shirts...look like a f-king man for once." ~Billie Joe
"I claim Tre. He is officially my boyfriend."
"The sad thing is, he seems like the kinda guy who'd get a real kick out of prancing around with mr. Minnie-Tre dangling in the air." -she who wishes to remain un-named
"Oh, which one of my stalkers did you meet?"-Sarah B. (not realising what she said)
"Of course they have a diversion! What, do you think they're stupid?"
"I saw your mom five times yesterday! Twice as a man!" -Tiffany needs to quit the drugs...fight the addiction!
"Gandalf THE WHITE should be coming in the mail-I mean, rising up from the ashes soon." ~Me on my new iPod coming in the mail (because my old one died).
"It's Gandalf THE WHITE the SECOND!"
"You should have just named them Snowball..."-My mother and weird Simpsons references...
"Gmail sounds like e-mail for rappers." -Eric inhisalmighty wisdom
"You dress weird."
"I was aimin' for 'is 'ead..." ~Jayne (another one from Firefly)
"My homework ate my dog, so I had to shoot it." ~Tiffany on why she doesn't have her homework.
"I still have Misha getting hit in the face with a football on tape."
"Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today." ~Fortune cookie fortune.
"That's so strait!" ~Anthea on...um...strait-ness?
"We have a hearing test today."
"It sounds like 'horny'." ~Allie on her nickname for her nickname (Gorny).
"Why do I have the sudden urge to eat peanut butter?"
"One time, at Band Camp." ~various band people, but the joke is that it's McGonagall.
"Neighborhood bicycle!" ~Kamran on Laree. Don't ask.
"God is a Seahorse." ~My mom. Since God is the creator of everything, he's either a woman or a Seahorse.
"When I was little, I thought God was a mailbox." ~Tiffany on her weird delusions when she was 5.
"I got really mad at the book, so I threw it in the freezer and told it it couldn't come out until it changed." ~Sarah on when she found out who died in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
"Santi was a behemoth in the art world, and being known solely by one's first name was a level of fame achieved only be an elite few...people like Napoleon, Galileo, and Jesus...and, of course, the demigods Langdon now heard blaring from Harvard dormitories-Sting, Madonna, Jewel, and the artist formally known as Prince, who had changed his name to the symbol (), causing Langdon to dub him 'The Tau Cross With Intersecting Hermaphroditic Ankah.'" ~Angels and Demons
"The people look mummified!" ~Becca on the class ring design for Choir.
"Oh my Eru! I get it now!"
"Name a band that's punk rock."
"All the Green Day fans out there just kinda went, 'Ow...'" ~Tiffany in referance to the quote above
"Kristen's mom hates me because I once brought a Harry Potter book to her house." ~Me telling about the first time I met Kristen's mom (who hates Harry Potter).
Kira: "...blahblah and his character's name in the rp is "Souljura"
(me): Because I'm a good friend! //hugs!//
"Gandalf has been saying many cheerful things like that." ~Pippin in 'Fellowship of the Ring'.
"Have you ever realized that we pass the day of our death every year?" ~Tiffany, rather randomly.
"We do! And we also pass the birthday of our first child and...other stuff..."
"I bet by the time we die we have sex every day of the year."
"I hated The Odyssey! The guy is trying to get home to his wife and sleeping with every woman on the way!" ~Katie on Homer and The Odyssey. ("Seriously!" ~Tiffany)
"I got in a fight with a chair and lost." ~Me on why I showed up to school with a black eye, a bump on my head, and a concussion.
"But I thought the evil witch was Martha Stewart!" ~Sam on Drama finals.
"I got three hours of sleep last night AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"Blue is an anime color!"
"She works at Hot Topic, his heart microscopic. She thinks that it's love, but to him it's sex." ~Bowling for Soup 'Punk Rock 101'.
(for more quotes that my friends and I have said, go to the profile ADandMMforever. You'll find me on there (several times) as the name Chelsea (or Fawkes...))
"Do you have the time/to listen to me whine?/About nothing and everything all at once." -Basket Case
"I went to your house/but no one was there/I went to your room/I was all by myself!/...You and me have/such wonderful times/when I'm all by myself!" -All By Myself (Tre wrote the song. That is really all you need to know about it)
"Emo sucks! Hardline sucks! Indie sucks! ...YOU SUCK!" -Anti-Flag (the rest of the song is even more hilarious...)
"Teenagers from Mars! And we don't care!" -'The Network' (It's actually Green Day in costume, they just haven't admitted it yet...)
"'We couldn't be bothered to actually film Helm's Deep, so we nicked the cast of Alexander Nevsky and Bayreuth Festival Chorus.' Now you know why PJ's Elves at helm's Deep did not particularly phase me." ~French Pony on the difference between cartoon!LotR and PJ's!LotR.
"If the world let dead ideas alone, think about how much less reality TV we'd have?" ~Anya Midnight. Makes you think, huh?
"So the ninjas are tinhats now? Scary."
"Oi, Ninjas! D'you support DomLijah?
Ninjas: //nod 'yes'//
Whaddaya know. I guess they are..." ~Saphie and Andy on the scariness of the Tinhats and Ninjas.
"I wonder if Suvians realize... That for their character to have unicorn blood in it, there'd have to be some really squicky situations?" ~Newmoon
"2014, I think...So at the rate FF.Net gets things done...Yeah, that seems about right." ~BeautyID on FF.Net slowness and date confusing ness.
"Mary Sues keep ff.net alive? Sure, sure. And Sauron was a nice guy, he was just misunderstood, honest!" ~BeautyID on Sues and FF.Net and Sauron.
"I would've asked him for a snog. "Yes, Merc," you are all saying, "we know YOU would."" ~Mercuira on Craig Parker and snogging.
Stories in the making:
The Meetings: Completed I have finished! Yay! First ever completed story! The sequel is coming up.
101 Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort: We've probably all seen those fics that lists different things and may even write out the situation; so, why is mine so different you ask? Because mine is an actual story. What's scary is that, while I'm writing this, I'm liking Bellatrix more and more...
Journey to the Two Towers: completed That's right everyone! They've finally seen the movie! Well, I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
Journey to The Return of the King: The battle for Canon has begun...sort of...I need chocolate and coffee inspiration. Who wants to donate to my chocolate and coffee fund? (on hiatus!)
Fawkes: The Life of a Mary Sue: Fawkes is your average Mary-Sue, except that she hates herself and all other Sues. So, she decides to help rid Hogwarts of all Sues along with her friends Rachel and Sarah. Add Fluffy!Harry, canon characters for parents, and other things to the mix, and you have the life of your not-so-typical Mary-Sue. (on a (probably) permanent hiatus)
Journey to the Chamber of Secrets: Final chapter up!
Plot-Holes, Canon, and Middle-Earth: Well, this was going to be a fic where I could bash Mary-Sues to oblivion, but, as the little plot bunnies have been biting a lot lately, I've decided to stay away from that. After the first few chapters, the subject of Mary-Sues may never come up again. So...um...enjoy! I'm trying to make a good 'Girl(s) fall into Middle Earth' fic here=) (on a very long hiatus)
Official Fanfiction University of the Island: Yeah, I finally got it up. Mini-Polar Bears, Ethan, and hormonal fangirls, oh my! Join and you belong to me...(permission granted by Miss Cam)
Plot-bunnies that won't leave me alone and that I will eventually have to write:
The End: //smites 'A Guide to Middle-Earth' day by day calendar// Ok, so there's this thing called the End that's mentioned more then a few times in my 'daily history lesson of Middle-Earth,' also known as my book-verse calendar. So, now I want to WRITE about what the End will be...yeah, this will be the project that will take the most time since I'll have to do ALOT of research for it...expect it by the end of the year...or the end of next year...or just 'eventually'...
The Perfect Season: //smites Quidditch World Cup game// Ok, so every time I play with 'Quidditch World Cup,' I always pick the Australian Quidditch team. During the course of winning every single game with said Quidditch team, I started to characterize the players. Blarg, now I have to write their story. This might take a while though because dad returned said game and I can only remember Maria's name...and I only remember what the chasers look like...do you think anyone out there could give me pictures and names off all the players (if they can)? (this plot-bunny can now be adopted)
Any damage to sanity this page has caused is not my fault, complain to someone else. Stories that I recommend are:
Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth by Camilla Sandman: It's hilarious, but I wouldn't read it if you haven't actually read Lord of the Rings, because there are some things the movie misses. I also recommend reading The Silmarillion.
Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy by Meir Brin: Again, hilarious. A spin-off from OFUM for Harry Potter. Again, only read if you have actually read ALL of the Harry Potter books.
Once More in the Urple Depths of OFUM by Camilla Sandman: The second installment from The Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth. Still hilarious.
The Way of the Ring by HiBob: An actual completed crossover that's really good! Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter
Brothers in Arms (1 and 2) by The Nightrunners: ...just read it. Its take WAY too long to explain...
'Ships I support and love:
Harry Potter: Harry/Luna, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, James/Lily, Dumbledore/McGonagall (I was forced into this one...)
Hiatuses: Yeah...I'm completly dry of ideas. I used to have everything mapped out and all that jazz, but now I don't because I never wrote down the stupid maps in my head (and I think I'm suffering brain damage from listening to loud, weird, and generally odd songs extremly loud). Mostly, the hituses concern my Fellowship of the Movies fics. Mostly because some of us just generally don't see a lot of eachother anymore (and I realized that a lot of us don't have much in common...but lets not get into politics right now).
That and, lets face it, school sucks. So...yeah. That's all for now!
~Fawkes AKA Chelsea AKA Pippin AKA Harry AKA She of Many Names AKA (St.) Jimmy AKA Billie Joe (I regret my Halloween costume idea...imagin walking around Albertson's and someone screams 'Billie Joe!' and you get to scream back 'WHAT?' with half the girls from your school going, 'WHERE?')
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