Author has written 58 stories for Glee, and Sherlock.
this profile is split into five sections, as my brain has decided to segregate and form a fifth hemisphere.
one. about the peripherally insane writer.
two. where you may be able to stalk the shit out of me. aka i loaf you too.
three. the opinions that nobody gives a - as you guessed it - a flying fuck in a unitard about.
four. the ships that i will go down with.
five. other things.
my name is Sam, or rather if you subtract some letters, it's Sam. or peanut butter because ASDFGHJKL; peanut butter. i love flowers made out of virgins. i am of the tender age of seventeen. next year, i can legally drive my own vehicle and kill thousands of people. i have a small fanfic fixation with Blaine Anderson, Sebastian Smythe, Finn Hudson & Kurt Hummel. my hair is 'baby fine thin' and if you comb it, half of it will fall in the palm of your hand. i am a proud owner of a vagina. i have an extensive collection of socks, most of which are torn but i still insist on wearing. i have bowties as well, but my Mother refuses to let me wear any because when i wear one, i cross the line of looking like a waiter from Club Penguin. i am writing a book that has so much mythology in it that i piss myself thinking about how i'm going to tie it all in. i have done the IB programme and (barely) survived. i have a dangerous fixation with science (even though i don't get the best marks in all of them). i think Trigonometry's main purpose is to make small children cry. my existence is such a joke as i was born on the first of April, but nobody is inclined to acknowledge this without a small chuckle. i enjoy feeding people and making small ludicrous comments about what food i'm eating or what drink i'm inhaling as i write. i am addicted to every type of coffee known to mankind and have practically memorised the Starbucks menu. i'm the married Kurt to Sebastian. we have children that ship Blandler, that are suspiciously made out of mere Maltesers, dark chocolate and Snickers. said children also seem to have a kink for writing Kurtbastian porn when they assume we're not looking over their shoulder. real me is currently effortlessly dating the lovely Rachel.
so, hello. i'm Sam.
deviantart (which i'm not on):, new deviantart (which i am on):
my tumblr is. my youtube is . you may notice on my youtube account there is no age, because it's permanently fixed on twenty-two due to the fact that one of my bisexual friends created the account and used his email.
if wanted to be found on Facebook, Skype, messenger, or any other social media site, please drop me a note and i'll link you. i'm horrified someone from my 'real life' will find out that i enjoy writing smutty gay fanfiction with Sebangst feels.
i don't have any 'proper' opinions. i see both sides of the circle. i never mean to personally offend anyone with my incredibly dry humour. i don't have any 'fixed' beliefs other than my religion which is pretty damn fixed. sometimes i even wonder if i 'exist' or if we are just some rats in space rattling and someone's absorbing us from a microscope, because can you prove that that isn't true? all you can prove that it's really really unlikely. that, or i'm watching way too much Sherlock.
four. the ships that i will go down with.
1. kurtbastian; not only will i go down with this ship - i will sink so far into the Atlantic that my children will be born mermaids.
2. klaine; however insane they may get, they always come running back to each other. sure, they have their faults but Glee would be a ball of peanut butter pot-laced crap if they didn't have fights.
3. seblaine; because when Sebastian looks at Blaine, through that smirk - you can see that small smile that curls up just at the corner of his lips that makes it all seem a lot like love.
in no order,
4. blinn; because Finn thinks that Blaine's perfect.
5. winn; because Will does inappropriate things and i'm a sick person that enjoys it.
6. kinn; because they're closer than ever right now.
7. faberry; because Quinn is Rachel's perfect.
8. pinn; because bromance.
9. puckurt; because you Neanderthal.
10. niff; because they're so close no matter how far.
11. nickbastian; because he's given Nick his first recognition in the spotlight.
12. blaine/any warbler; because they love him so much that they idolise him, despite them following Sebastian.
13. sebastian/any warbler; because he has to have done something to turn Blaine's buddies into obedient minions.
14. puckbastian; because they can please each other.
15. sebandler; because even Sebastian's icy heart would melt into puddles in the presence of Chandler.
16. kandler; because Chandler wants Kurt as much as Kurt wants to get his slot in NYADA.
17. finnbastian; because a little blackmail goes a long way, babe.
18. chaine; because in an alternative universe, Blaine would think that Chandler is one of the most adorable things in this world.
19. hummelberrry; because it doesn't matte if he's attracted to her, he still loves her. and she loves him enough to be the first person she tells everything.
20. brody/finn; because they want Rachel, but they can learn how to want each other.
21. huntbandler; because fuck.
22. kurtbandler; because Kurt's all control, Chandler's all cute, and Sebastian just like to watch them fuck.
23. finnbandler; because Finn and Chandler are the cutest things ever, and Sebastian likes it - even if it means him telling off the big lug every time he leaves his chocolate wrappers on the ground.
and other ships, but i ran out of headspace. and i think i lost your attention by now.
current note; i have no idea what i'm doing anymore?
things i have deleted for various reasons: A Blaine for the Dying (i'm lost with this - so lost i'm probably heading in the wrong direction with it), Downcast (do not like its pace), Everything's Coming Up Roses (not a fan of first person stories and do not like reading them), Gravenimage (just don't like it), The Narcissitic Boyfriend Diaries (don't know what else to write in that one).
i might be deleting more. who the fuck knows
xo Peanut Butter/Sam
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