If you are odd, and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an army of purple cats with rabies and with flamethrowers at your command, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!!
IF YOU BELIEVE FIGHTING CRIME IN MINI SKIRTS IS POSSIBLE, COPY THIS IN YOUR PROFILE! I BELIEVE DUDES!
Almost every teenager talks on their phone for hours on end. If your one of the few who dosn't, copy this onto your profile and add your name to the list. gothgirl-narutofan, Kuro Uchiha, Sacra Nox, Haruko-Uzumaki, Heza-chan x3, darklover12, Sabaku No Eva AKA Saki
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile. (I do it all the time, myself doesn't agree with me)
98 percent of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy this onto your profile if you would be one of the 2 percent that is laughing your ass off.
If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped where there is a 'WATCH YOUR STEP' sign, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.
If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.
If you ever felt like chasing your friend and yelling "RUN BITCH RUN!" Put this on your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here.
If you have EVER been so obsessed with a song you actually A.) dream about it, B.) sing it in school no mattter who's listening OR C.) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy this in your profile.
Even when you can't see Him, GOD IS THERE!! If you believe in God, then put this in your profile.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven.
If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique. Therefore, weird is good. If you're weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed a pull door, or vice versa, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
Here ya go, ladies...the combacks you've always needed
Man: Where have you been all my life?
NARUTO YO MOMMA JOKES:
Yo momma so fat even naruto doesn't believe it!
Yo momma so fat even the byakugan can't see through her
Yo momma so ugly she turned Orochimaru gay
Yo momma so ugly when she walked by Hinata, Hinata yelled out "Dayuuuuum!"
Yo momma so fat she makes Choji look skinny
Yo momma so ugly she makes the Shukaku look cute
Yo momma so dumb she makes Naruto look like a genius
Yo momma so ugly anbu thought she was in the second curse mark and kicked her ass
Yo mama so stupid she took a shit thinking it would open the 8 inner gates
Yo momma so old Gai dropped his "Power of youth" philosophy on the spot
Yo mama so stupid she couldn't find any of the "hidden" villages
Yo momma so ugly she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again
Yo mama so fat Tazuna considered using her as the bridge to the mainland
Yo mama so ugly, the Nine-tails fled in fear
Yo mama so fat that when Lee was doing her, he gave up.
Yo momma so ugly when she stopped by Kakashi he used his sharingan to see if someone put a genjutsu on him
Yo momma so ugly she scared the little kids in her village more than Gaara
Yo momma so ugly she even scared Gaara
Yo momma so ugly she's the reason why Itachi went blind
Yo momma so ugly she's the reason why chidori and reasangan was made
TIME FOR A MATH LESSON
From a strictly mathmatecal viewpoint
What makes 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We all have been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over one hundred percent. How about acheiving 103 percent? What makes up 100 percent in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions;
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
8118423151811= 98 percent
11141523125475= 96 percent
120209202145 =100 percent
2211212198920= 103 percent
and look how far this one will take you,
1191911919199147= 118 percent!
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and ASSKISSING that will put you over the top.
20 Things to do at Wal-Mart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
"'Code 3' in house wares"... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in aclothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.
18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.
19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.
20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie.
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your profile and help stop racism!
Hello and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive or compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6 If you are paranoid, we already know who you are and what you want, please stay on the line while we trace your call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until a representative comes on the line. If you are dyslexic, press 696969696969. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep…before the beep…or after the beep……please wait for the beep.If you have a masochistic complex, please press "0" for the operator. There are 200 calls ahead of you.If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.If you are depressed it probably doesn't matter what you press, it won't do you any good anyway.If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laughs when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing like, "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. (i find myself a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy and paste this on your profile.
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree.
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.