Nikkirenzo59
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Joined 08-17-07, id: 1353699, Profile Updated: 09-27-08
Author has written 8 stories for Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Twilight, Hannah Montana, and Of Mice and Men.

Hey everyone! my name is Nikki, duh look at my pen name. I live in Florida. I have been obsessed with fanfics lately and I can't stop writing them, so I figured I might as well post them.

In case if you didn't notice, I LOVE tragedy. Thats not all I write, its just my favorite: )

My favorite show is Sabrina, the teenage witch, and my favorite book is twilight, so most of my stories will be from there!

Twilight is not just my favorite book, I'm obsessed with it! Alice is my favorite but I love all the characters!

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...


: ) Hiya! I'm the wonderful and magical Tibbi! Whoooooooooh!

I haven't wrote in a long time!! And doesn't it suck Nikki hasn't updated in months either!!


Okay everything below is true for me!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy and paste this to your profile.(my gym teacher!)

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you could, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed a door that said pull or vise versa, copy this onto your profile.(hehe Shannnon)

If you have ever run into a door, copy this onto your profile.(hehe Tibby)

95 percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the 5 percent who aren't, copy this onto your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent who hasn't copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this to your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If your random and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy this to you profile.

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy this onto you profile.

If you've ever tried to hi-five someone and ended up hitting them on the head, copy this onto your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this to your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this to your profile if you are the 8 percent who would be laughing their ass off.

If you have been on your computer for hours on end reading numerous fanfictions, copy this to your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computers dictionary. If you have just done that, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character, Edward, from Twilight, copy and past this to your profile.

If your super pale, copy and paste this to your profile.(Yes I'm a vampire!)

If you've ever misspelled a word with four or less letters, copy and paste this to your profile.( I always muisspell 'this' I don't know why)

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name, copy and paster this to your profile.

If you have ever ben pushed into an ice cold pool, copy and paste this to your profile.(yeah thanks Vikki)

If you have ever copied and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've'e ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this to your profile.

If people ever mistake you for a vampire(cough or you are one cough cough) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that I'm making you think too much, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile.

If you have ever mistaken a stick for a snake, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Racism is wrong and never fails to destroy people in the long run. We are all children of God and in that aspect we are the same, even if we look different. If you are against racism, copy and paste this in your profile

If you ever wondered why the sky is blue, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If when you go to sleep you can hear songs that you haven't heard in three years copy this to your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you ever bought something just because it was shiny, sparkly, glittery, flashy, or gaudy, copy this into your profile.

If you start giggling insanly after hearing the word Tombolo, copy and paste this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when on career day I said I was going to move to move to Greece the day I graduate and live on a beach writing stories on the back of paper bags and my best friend asked if she could come too. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!


Hehe I love funny quotes:

Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet, they won't bother you for weeks.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door..

Some people are like a slinky..not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Never hire a colorblind electrician.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of three of your best friends. If they're okay, then its you.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" Well I think guns help, if you stood there and said "BANG" you wouldn't kill many people.

If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone say that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

Friendship is like peeing yourself, everyone can see it, but only you get that warm feeling from it.

It's true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what were missing until we get it.

Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep--not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

Always remember, you're unique, just like everybody else.

Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

He who laughs last didn't get it

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing at the shore looking like an idiot.

I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference.

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Music is love in search of word.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If at first you don't suceed, don't try skydiving.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'

When you fall: A friend helps you up; a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumbass?"

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Boys that make you cry aren't worth crying over; boys that are worth crying over won't make you cry.

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way

My heart is not a playground

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Was that an earthquake, or did i just rock your world?

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'l die and it will all be YOUR FAULT.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I hate it when people say:

"When life give you lemons, make lemonade." Well, you know what, life never gave you water and sugar, so you can only make lemon juice.

"It's always in the last place you look" Well duh, who keeps looking after they found it.

"Life is short" What? Name one thing you do that is longer than life.

"Don't you wish you could have your cake and eat it too?" What is the point of having a cake if you can't eat it?

"Lol(all the time)" If you laugh out loud that much, then you have issues.


Hehe funny labels(these are real labels):

Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"

Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."

Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets"

Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"

Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."

Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping."

Sleeping pills-"Warning: may cause drowsiness" One would hope.

Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark"

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." Are you sure? Lets experiment.

RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe."

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain."

Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping" But thats the only time I have to work on my hair!

On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regaular soap" And that would be how?

Some Swann frozen dinners-"Serving sugestion: Defrost" But it's just a sugestion.

Tesco's dessert (printed on bottem of the box)-"Do not turn upside down" To late! you lose!

Marks and Spencer Bread pudding: "Warning: product may be hot after heating." Wow, I would have never guessed!

Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?

Boots childrens cough medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinary." We could do alot to reduce construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year old off those fork lifts.

Korean kicthen knife: "Keep out of children." Hmm...I think something got lost in translation.

Christmas lights; "For indoor and outdoor use only." As opposed to outer space.

Food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Now I'm curious.

Sainsbury's peanuts:"Warning: may contain nuts." But no peas?

American Airlines package of peanuts; "Instructions: open packet. Eat nuts." Someone got paid big bucks to write this one...

Swidish chainsaw:"Do not attept to stop chainsaw with hands." Raise your hand if you've tried this.

Child's surperman costume: "Wearing of this garmet does not enable you to fly." Oh go ahead. Thats right, destroy a universal childhood belief

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply to much to bear.

We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system suddenly grow cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone tole me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feel s guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have do deal with society hating me.

I am the person who has to hide what the world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!

But wait, there's more

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.

Favorite Twilight Quotes:
-"How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?"

-"Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?"

-"He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I've never seen someone so prone to life threatening idiocy."

-"I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do."

-"But I am a werewolf and he is a vampire."
"And I'm a Virgo."

-"I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party too."

-"...when it comes to all this enemies nonsense I'm out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland."

-"How can someone so tiny be so annoying?"
"It's a talent."

-"I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart, I left it with you."

-“And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche.”

-“I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around.”

-Scared the hell out of them, too. Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up covered in battle scars, towing this little freak who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into."
"When I got home, all of my things were in the garage."

-“I never thought I’d see the day where I’d be willing to take a bet against you, Alice, but it has arrived."

-“Would you like to hear my story, Bella? It doesn’t have a happy ending—but which of ours does? If we had happy endings, we’d all be under gravestones now."

-“You’ve experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect me. I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion.”

MONTH ONE:

Mommy i am only 8 inches long but i have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

MONTH TWO:

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm here.

MONTH THREE:

You know what Mommy I'm a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

MONTH FOUR:

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have alot of it. I spend alot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

MONTH FIVE:

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I am not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, whats abortion?

MONTH SIX:

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

MONTH SEVEN:

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? Every Abortion Is Just...One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

Survey

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Nicole

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Nicizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Purple Monkey

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Lora Blueberry

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Delniing

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Blue Mountian Dew

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Ilowwmn

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s middle name): Lynn

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (Black and the name of one your pets): Black Libby

Controversial Issues:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put
our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a
call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages
of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'

.
10. Only in America...do they have
drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Natural by AquilusNyx reviews
It should just have been an awkward situation, fixed with a quiet talk. It wasn't. Instead, a teacher finds himself comforting a shattered boy, trying to hold him together. No pairing, warnings for sexual abuse, rated for dark themes.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,038 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 185 - Follows: 28 - Published: 4/7/2011 - Kurt H., Will S. - Complete
Maggots, Vermin, Ashes, Dust by Daystar Searcher reviews
What if it had taken Goren longer to figure out it was Declan? Inspired by raz0rgirl's LJ observation that Gage is a B/A shipper. Written because I am just that much of a creeper.
Law and Order: CI - Rated: M - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,764 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/15/2010 - Published: 1/25/2009 - A. Eames, R. Goren
The Collector by HousethatJackBuilt reviews
A deadly and sadistic killer is on the loose and he's collecting Doctors. He has his deadly sights set on House, Wilson, Cameron, Foreman and Chase; he wants to add them all to his collection. Please read and review! COMPLETE!
House, M.D. - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,127 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 8/1/2008 - G. House - Complete
Lunière by siDEADde reviews
TW/MS Alice's POV. Canon "Where Jasper and I were halves of the same whole, Edward and I were the same half. We understood each other more than the family understood us."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 66,720 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 461 - Follows: 416 - Updated: 8/17/2009 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Alice, Edward
First, do no harm by labyrinth38 reviews
This is a series of one-shots surrounding the events of the S4 finale the early episodes of S5. Contains HEAVY SPOILERS for those episodes! - Mostly House, Wilson, Cuddy, Foreman & Chase; but focusing on the House-Wilson friendship. No slash!
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,405 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 11/2/2008 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Lisa, he's dead, House is dead by Sweetheart From Hell reviews
House can't take it anymore, and doesn't give anyone the chance to help him. Spoilers for season 4 finale and some later episodes for seaosn 5, so don't read if you haven't finished it. Major character death! Rating to be safe. I love reviews!
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,236 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/25/2009 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
The life before her eyes by linnybug reviews
Alice has spent three years in an abusive relationship, until Jasper comes along. But, is he really the knight in shining armor she thinks he is?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 63,020 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Loosing Faith by KateSutherland reviews
This is just my interpretation of what happened during New Moon when Alice saw Bella jump of the cliff. Ridiculously sad! Please read, enjoy and then review? PLease? New chapter added.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,658 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/10/2009 - Published: 8/1/2008
Beware of the Father by CullenGirlsForever3 reviews
Bella, Alice, and Rosalie are sister vampires. Carlisle has always been EXTREMELY protective of his adoptive daughters. When they fall in love with humans no less , what will he do and will the guys survive?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,726 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 11/25/2008
Solace by Miss Asian reviews
She was essential to this family we had. If there wasn’t an Alice in our life, we wouldn’t know how we could go on with our never ending existence. She was that important.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,700 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/1/2009 - Carlisle, Alice - Complete
Reading Between the Lines by Brynna reviews
A collection of Alice/Jasper one-shots.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 64,783 - Reviews: 2001 - Favs: 784 - Follows: 451 - Updated: 5/25/2009 - Published: 11/19/2008 - Alice, Jasper
A Long Time Waiting by Mandi1 reviews
There had to be a sacrifice. And she could see that they would be okay. For a time. A&J, AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,219 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 5/19/2009 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Little Fairy by lmbrtvll reviews
The tender father-daughter relationship between Carlisle and Alice is interrupted by tragedy. one shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,186 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/17/2009 - Carlisle, Alice - Complete
In the Dark by paper.creations reviews
Jasper Whitlock is the newest employee at the Brookfield Institution for the Mentally Unstable. But on his first day on the job, he breaks the most important rule: 'Don't talk to the patients'. And even worse, he finds himself attracted to one
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 28,788 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 5/16/2009 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Real Hallucinations by Bonomania reviews
House doesn't understand reality anymore. He needs to escape. My take on how season 5 could end. SPOILERS for season 5 and finale. Full A/N inside.
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,642 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/9/2009 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Half of a Whole by me and Mr. Jones reviews
This is the final chapter of my story. Hope you liked it, please let me know, like it or hate it. *Another major character death* PLEASE REVIEW
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,282 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/4/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Alice - Complete
Tired by LadyKatie reviews
Wilson arrives at House’s apartment to find the situation much more serious than he believed. SPOILERS for the end of Season 5.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,764 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/3/2009 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Survival: Interlude by bemj11 reviews
Third in my Survival Series. Begins with Alice's return. Carlisle's POV for first few chapters. Chapter 4 Alice's POV. Last chapter up, Jasper's POV. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,069 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/21/2009 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Carlisle, Alice - Complete
Too Late by Heeroluva reviews
House should have been used to being too late by now, always too late for the important things, the life making or breaking things. Slight House/Wilson, major character death
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,589 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/11/2009 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
How Do I live without you? by AllTimeLow23 reviews
What would have happened if Victoria had gotten past the wolves and to Bella on the same night that Alice showed up at her house? Will they be okay? Or will an angel fall? One-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,935 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Crazier by AllTimeLow23 reviews
Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle get a look into Alice and Jasper's relationship.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,632 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/2/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
My Name Was Mary Alice Brandon by I make my own destiny reviews
Alice starts to see visions of her past and her human life was nothing like she expected-nor was it's end. Alice's POV. "The picture I had painted myself of human life had been something out of a fairytale. The visions last night shattered that illusion."
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,373 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Alice, James
I Should Have Been Stronger by bemj11 reviews
Takes place during New Moon. Jasper has trouble handling his guilt over attacking Bella. Not even Alice has been able to help him. She asks Carlisle to talk to him. One-shot. By the way, Twilight does not belong to me, since I forgot the disclaimer again.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,807 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Carlisle, Jasper - Complete
Measuring Up by bemj11 reviews
When Carlisle meets Peter, and old friend of Jasper's, can he measure up to Peter's expectations of what a coven leader should be? One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,480 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Carlisle, Peter - Complete
Goodbye by Chorusip reviews
After the death of a Cullen family member, Bella is in shambles. This is both POST eclipse AND post BREAKING DAWN. You'll see what I mean if you read the change takes place chap 9
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,870 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 6/14/2008
Some Rise By Sin by Brynna reviews
How far would Aro go to have Alice? And how far would Jasper go to get her back? Post-BD, A/J, and ensemble
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 28,516 - Reviews: 377 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 3/16/2009 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Sounds Of Silence by windowfire reviews
What happens when Maria comes back to visit? Tragedy. AxJ CxE RxEm EdxB INCLUDES SPOILERS FOR BREAKING DAWN!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,652 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 2/10/2009 - Alice, Jasper
My Angel by CaptiveFaRaMiRheart reviews
Set right after "Dying Changes Everything". House realizes what he may have just lost.
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,253 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/11/2009 - G. House, J. Wilson
First Day of the Rest of Your Life by fifthofnovember reviews
The final moments of Gregory House's life. Character death. Rated T for subject and minor language. Spoilers for ep. The Softer Side.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,638 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/9/2009
I Knew My Son Was A Soldier by bemj11 reviews
Carlisle always knew Jasper was a soldier, he had seen him dangerous, seen him out of control, had seen the worst, he thought, until a strange coven threatens Alice and he sees Jasper's reaction. Read and reply, please.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,366 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Carlisle, Jasper - Complete
Post–traumatic by labyrinth38 reviews
The events of "Last resort" don't leave Wilson unaffected. He confronts House about his actions and comes to a few realizations of his own... - House/Wilson friendship; no slash. S4/S5 Spoilers!
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,573 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 23 - Published: 2/28/2009 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
How Could I Possibly Live Without You? by katxopixie reviews
Alice sees something in a vision that puts the entire Cullen family in danger, and leaves one particular member on the brink of death. Not vampirism, DEATH. Who is it? How is that possible? Find out.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,012 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/13/2009 - Published: 2/10/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Protecting You by Tori of Lorien reviews
Jasper struggles with his deep worry when Alice leaves with Bella for Italy to save Edward, and Emmett is there to support him when he needs him the most by showing him what it means to be brothers. Jasper/Emmett brotherly fluff.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,059 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Jasper, Emmett - Complete
Another Christmas Away by TheSingingGirl reviews
During Breaking Dawn, Alice is forced to spend yet another Christmas away from her family, desperately trying to get back to them. At least she can still see them. Alice POV oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,513 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Alice, Esme - Complete
Guiding Stars by X.x.Try.Defying.Gravity.x.X reviews
AU/Human 1968 - more detail inside When Dr. Carlisle Cullen agrees to foster the Masen kids he's in for the ride of his life. Complications arise when he meets the love of his life, Esme Cullen and her niece and nephew. How will the kids take it? War!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,410 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/18/2009 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Carlisle, Esme
More Than One by BabelFish42 reviews
For Alice, some things in life are straightforward. Like not wearing white after Labor Day. But not all questions have simple answers. Why was she really avoiding Bella during her pregnancy? And how exactly do you define a family? Formerly 'Heartache'
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,760 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 1/16/2009 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Alice, Esme
Gone by edwardplusbella620 reviews
This story takes place during New Moon when Alice and Bella have gone to Italy to try and save Edward. Bonus Chapter!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,880 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/10/2009 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Jane Cometh by me and Mr. Jones reviews
I thought of this while rereading Eclipse today. Jane doesn't like Alice. There is a better Summary inside. Please R&R. Thank you
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,372 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/6/2009 - Jasper - Complete
Rubik's Cubes by Miss Asian reviews
Of course, I would never beat my father. He was the most intelligent person I’d ever known in my existence. He could analyze anything. And I couldn’t even solve a freaking cube!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,370 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Carlisle, Alice - Complete
My World by iloveluke1222 reviews
Carlisle Cullen reflects on his life...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 945 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/12/2008 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
I Knew We Were Too Late by Nature's Melody reviews
Sequel to And Then I Was Gone. Carlisle PoV: Alice is gone, how will the Cullens cope with the loss?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,082 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/9/2008 - Published: 6/25/2008 - Carlisle, Alice
Tied Together by Ein Kampf kann eine Lebenszeit reviews
Alice and Jasper's wedding after they join the Cullen family. Alice's POV. Fluff. Please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,362 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
The Genuine by Miss Asian reviews
I could set aside my title, my guardianship, my being a husband… I could just break free from all of them even for just a short period of time. And in that manner, I could be the real me… the real Carlisle Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,869 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Carlisle - Complete
Close Call by whitereflections12 reviews
When Bella and Alice went to Italy to save Edward, Bella wasn't the only one terrified of losing the one she loved. Alice took off without giving Jasper a chance to go with her, and he has plenty of time to realize that she might not come back...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,732 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 26 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Jasper, Alice - Complete
Down The Rabbit Hole by casket4mytears reviews
After departing Forks with the rest of the Cullen family, Alice becomes increasingly preoccupied with the information revealed to Bella by James about her life as a human and the vampire who changed her... and seeks answers.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 60,593 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 10/23/2008 - Published: 10/2/2008 - Alice, Edward - Complete
Last Dance by Squeeka Cuomo reviews
Her day had been spent bustling about, greeting guests, and being the ecstatic mother of the groom. But as she looked out across the dance floor, she realized that, in the excitement of the day, she’d forgotten about someone. - Esme/Carlise, Jasper/Alice
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,903 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/23/2008 - Esme, Jasper - Complete
Lightly Sleeping by readerwriterthinker reviews
“I don’t know Jasper it’s like she’s …sleeping?” Carlisle said confused. “What? Vampires can’t sleep what are you talking about?” Jasper’s voice cracked. What was going on? Rated:T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,165 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 9/10/2008 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Losing One's Hope by beachbumyeahh reviews
Jasper feels awful about almost attacking Bella on her birthday. He starts to think that the Cullens are better off without him. Alice sees this in her visions, and that’s where she starts to lose all hope. Set during New Moon, so PreEclipse.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 19,875 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/1/2008 - Published: 4/26/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Infinite Paths of Destiny by Nostalgicmiss reviews
What if Edward never Returned from Denali? Would Bella's destiny change, or are their destinies interlaced? Will love overcome all? A/U
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 88,226 - Reviews: 344 - Favs: 280 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 7/29/2008 - Published: 6/30/2008 - Bella - Complete
An Emotion of His Own by Ein Kampf kann eine Lebenszeit reviews
Jasper shows his own emotions when it comes to Alice, and Alice only. What happens when that emotion isn't love or happiness? A BD quote of the day possibly over though. Please review.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 918 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Forgiven: A Breaking Dawn Alternate by pagingDrCullen reviews
Entry for the Twilight Series Theories challenge. A 5000 word epilogue written PRE-BD from Carlisle's POV. Includes a theoretical summary of the story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,161 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Carlisle, Charlie S. - Complete
Psychiatric by OneInFiveBillion reviews
What if after the events of House’s Head and Wilson’s Heart House just doesn’t recover? "Looking into his dull grey eyes James Wilson felt nothing but guilt and it was slowly eating him up inside." Post House's Head, Wilson's Heart. Spoilers.
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,055 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/14/2008 - J. Wilson, G. House - Complete
Walking Dead by Shules reviews
I let my emotions flow fully as I collapsed to the cold, hard ground sobbing. I found that I was unable to quell the pain, which now shot everywhere throughout me, by simply holding myself. I needed someone else to be there for me…with me. I needed Jasper
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,225 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/28/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
And Then I Was Gone by Nature's Melody reviews
Breaking-Dawn Period One-Shot. Alice PoV. There is only one way to win, and I must pay the price. But my death was a noble one, and I knew my family would forgive me. Please Read and Review!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 694 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/23/2008 - Complete
Gone Astray by trainlindz reviews
We were back down to seven in our family, but for how long was that number to remain? Carlisle POV. Warning - character death
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,245 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Complete
Lure by siDEADde reviews
One-shot from Charlie's POV for Segolily's Twilight Challenge : Odd Fathers Charlie is much more perceptive than anyone gives him credit for...can he hold his own against Carlisle?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,502 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Charlie S., Carlisle - Complete
Beginning Eternity by Blood on a Rose reviews
A wedding should be a joyous occasion where you get embarrassing toasts filled with childhood mishaps. But when the happy couple consists of vampires, and so does the wedding party, it can get very interesting very fast. *Jasper/Alice, Canon, Oneshot*
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,551 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/11/2008 - Jasper, Alice - Complete
Count Your Blessings by bulletproofweeks reviews
Amber's dead and now House is having to deal with a greater demon... himself. Will Wilson come to save him or is this the end? House/Wilson Friendship, House/Cuddy Friendship, Angst, Drama, Suspense, Hurt/Comfort, Discontinued
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,493 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 6/10/2008 - Published: 5/29/2008 - G. House, J. Wilson
Darkest Night by Nostalgicmiss reviews
Alice's Version of New Moon, her voyage of Self Discovery and the vision that changed everything.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 95,898 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 6/6/2008 - Published: 5/14/2008 - Alice - Complete
Achy Conscience by LickMyThermometer reviews
Angsty oneshots that mostly take place during the Tritter arc. Newest one: S4 FINALE POSTEP.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,034 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/4/2008 - Published: 12/11/2007 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
A Father Daughter Relationship by blackrose1o1 reviews
There are some things only a father can do and other things only Carlisle can accomplish. Please if you like the story spread it around. If you have any suggestions to help me improve that would be appreciated.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,627 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Complete
Missing by travln1 reviews
Post Wilson's Heart. Oneshot. House and Wilson are no longer speaking. House is no longer speaking period, unable to, and now he's gone missing. Season 4 finale spoilers abound.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,000 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/21/2008 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8347 - Favs: 7,478 - Follows: 1,718 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Through the Eyes of Alice Cullen by Nostalgicmiss reviews
This is the Twilight story through Alice's Eyes
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 62,049 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 5/11/2008 - Published: 4/10/2008 - Alice - Complete
The Importance of Being Emmett by grumkinsnark reviews
When lives are twisted out of control and no one feels their world will ever be okay again, there must always be one who holds it all together, thrust into a role they don't usually inhabit. This is waiting on the other side of Italy, from Emmett's mind.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,404 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/10/2008 - [Emmett, Rosalie] - Complete
A Sunless Day by izziebella913 reviews
The entire book of Twilight written in Alice's Point of View
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 35,045 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 3/29/2008 - Published: 3/8/2008 - Complete
Empty Skies by SoEagerForEternalDamnation reviews
New Moon, re-written from Alice's perspective. Her POV on Bella's party, Edward's choice, the Cullens' life without Bella and Edward, Bella's cliff diving, and the Volturi. Please read and review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 17,236 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 3/27/2008 - Published: 2/24/2008
Incomplete by Warrior Goddess reviews
This is a fanfiction based on New Moon, the second in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. It concerns the Cullens' side of the story during the time where Edward and Bella are apart. The story starts the night of Bella's birthday party.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 64,832 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 3/26/2008 - Published: 12/9/2007 - Complete
Don't Leave Me by xgraciela reviews
When you have a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. But sometimes you just can't... House/Wilson friendship - mild pre-slash if you want to wear slash googles, COMPLETE Please R&R
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,988 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/14/2008 - Published: 3/12/2008 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Action Replay by gypsy71 reviews
When House becomes ill he finds out who he can really trust. H/W friendship.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,299 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/16/2008 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Homecoming by SoEagerForEternalDamnation reviews
Bella, Edward and Alice return from Italy. Esme POV.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 612 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/13/2008 - Complete
She's Dead by Nails For Biting reviews
She jumped off a cliff. A cliff. Like I did, so many years ago. But there was no one there to save her, was there? No one there to give her life again. Esme's PoV
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 548 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/8/2008 - Complete
What Are Brothers For? by MidnightWalking reviews
Challenge response. Emmett shares his feeling about Alice shortly after the family learns where she spent her last human years.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,079 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/8/2008 - Emmett, Alice - Complete
The Pain of My Existance by ShiverMeFunzies reviews
JD collapses during his shift after experiencing horrible chest pain. What is wrong with him? How will his friends react?
Scrubs - Rated: K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 21,845 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 12/14/2007 - Published: 10/4/2007 - Complete
I Will Haunt You by Kiss My Fang reviews
Bella's jump off that cliff was a bit more fatal than she had thought it would be. Now she is a ghost, and no one can see her. Will Bella save Edward from the Volturi? More importantly can she? And what will happen to her afterwards?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,325 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 11/13/2007 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Complete
It's Nothing by Loves-To-Write-Ready-To-Listen reviews
A missing scene from HalfWit. Wilson visits House and artfully works brain cancer into the conversation. We see Wilson's disappointment in House for not telling him, but what we don't see is the reaction of the reality that his friend is dying. Drabble.
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 211 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/9/2007 - J. Wilson, G. House - Complete
Cruelty by Lavender Kiss reviews
What if Scout had taken off her Ham costume? How would things have played out differently? Hurt Scout!
To Kill a Mockingbird - Rated: K+ - English - Crime - Chapters: 10 - Words: 4,607 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/4/2007 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Complete
Interupting Bella by Klutzzy55 reviews
Origanilly a oneshot, but it was hard to resist! How does doghnuts, Rosalie, and hair mix? What is Emmett's blinky thing? Why does Alice despise McDonalds? How can Jasper be a life gaurd? What is Esme better at doing than Carlisle? LOVE REVIEWS!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 42,466 - Reviews: 253 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 10/30/2007 - Published: 6/28/2007
Don't Rush the Inevitable by 08joanna reviews
Immediately post "97 Seconds," Wilson & House talk as House leaves the morgue.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 827 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/15/2007 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Fireworks by Caseworker-14 reviews
Post New Moon. Bella's dreams finally come true in what had once seemed like an impossible turn of events, but the Cullens are about to bite several bullets for her and they will have to pull together as a family to get through it. Will they survive? R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 215,847 - Reviews: 1579 - Favs: 662 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 10/8/2007 - Published: 7/8/2007 - Complete
Into the Shadows by georgesgurl117 reviews
A fight between two of our favorite detectives leads to guilt when someone goes missing. Will the team be able to pull together and cooperate with each other and accept outside help in order to save one of their own? Complete!
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 27,993 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 9/29/2007 - Published: 8/17/2005 - O. Benson - Complete
I Didn't Want The End To Come by Addie W reviews
Bella's life, which had been much happier since her change, is about to take a turn for the worst, and there's nothing Bella can do about the impending end. &I didn’t want the end to come. But come it has, and I’m not afraid.& [Sequel to Moving On]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 57,735 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 9/11/2007 - Published: 3/11/2007 - Complete
Vampires vs WerewolvesThe Ultimate Bloodbath by Kalona Cullen reviews
FINAL CHAPTER IS UP! Bella, has graduated. they have found a,loop hole to the treaty and are ready to change Bella. Jacob doesn't give a damn about the treaty...he wants war! I don't own these characters they belong 2 Stephanie Meyer! EXB!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 58,582 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 8/16/2007 - Published: 5/15/2007 - Complete
Five Times Wilson Thought House Was Dead by maddoggirl reviews
...and One Time He Didn't.
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,404 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 16 - Published: 7/12/2007 - J. Wilson, G. House - Complete
When it rains, it pours by le piano a queue reviews
Dr. Cullen has a few things on his mind, a mysterious murder mystery, a few medical maladies, an arrogant intern, angry werewolves, his son's graduation and many other strange twists and turns. Tell me what you think! Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,873 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/7/2007 - Published: 4/22/2007 - Complete
Does it Hurt? by NikoSomething reviews
House gets hit by a car. Everyone thinks he's dead...but what if its just a drug making him seem like a corpse, when really, he can hear, see and feel everything that is going on? Will he survive? Finally it's ALL over...good times! ENJOY..
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 15 - Words: 15,267 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 7/3/2007 - Published: 2/25/2007 - G. House - Complete
Kidnapped by wannabeevampee reviews
Alice is having visions of Edward kidnapping Bella. Then the visions happen! Bella gets changed. And a new vampire family is living in Forks. Dun dun dun. Its finished so now you guys can read the whole thing!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 22,172 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 6/17/2007 - Published: 4/18/2007 - Complete
Pain and Preperation by Dedikated reviews
When Alice gets off the phone with Jasper, would he have told Carlisle right away what their plan was? I beleive he would have. This portrays the anxiety of Jasper Hale when he had to tell Carlisle that his first 'born son' might never come home.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,687 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/30/2007 - Complete
Who Would've Guessed? by WayLowHalo reviews
Everyone had thought it would be the Vicodin that would kill Gregory House. Even he knew they believed this... who would've guessed...? CHARACTER DEATH
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,582 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/16/2007 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
He Will Walk With The Immortal by Oldach's Dream reviews
If House really were dying, I think this might be how the world would remember him. Set sometime after Halfwit, but not directly connected to that episode. Slight Huddy. Strong HouseWilson friendship. OneShot.
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,327 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/27/2007 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
The Wait by Delano reviews
JPOV. Jasper's thoughts while Alice and Bella are in Italy to save Edward. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,547 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 23 - Published: 3/11/2007 - Complete
Video by Kaitipoola reviews
The film that James created for Edward. How the Cullens react to it. Includes a lot of dialogue from chapter 22 of Twilight, which is NOT mine by the way. Carlisle's POV, please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,024 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 24 - Published: 2/25/2007 - Complete
Margin for Error by Betz88 reviews
The old corvette goes down over a bank. But where is House? Hurt? Dead? If the accident didn't get him, perhaps something else will! All the King's horses and all the King's men can't find him. Total angstfest.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,272 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/19/2006 - Complete
When the World Ends by piaffe417 reviews
She'd give her life for him without question. He knows it and he couldn't live with himself if she ever proved it. If he lost her, it would be the end of the world...
Law and Order: CI - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,745 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/5/2006 - Published: 6/25/2006 - Complete
detox, revisited by Kodiak Bear Country reviews
Episode tag for Detox, HouseWilson friendship
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,503 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Published: 2/23/2006 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Still by Ivory Novelist reviews
A revised repost. WilsonHouse infarction friendship. Please read and review, thanks.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,044 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/7/2006 - J. Wilson, G. House - Complete
Blood Is Thicker Than Water by the hollowed ruby reviews
The death of Jem leaves Scout in ruins. Will she be able to find what she is looking for?
To Kill a Mockingbird - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,066 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/5/2001
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Crimson Wine reviews
When James recognizes Alice in the baseball field, he goes after her instead of Bella. Starts from just before Edward brings Bella home for the first time. Mostly from Alice's POV but it might change. Please review, flames are welcome. JxA
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,158 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/2/2008 - Published: 4/13/2008 - Alice
I'm Gonna Like This Place reviews
ONESHOT. This is a project I had to do for school, please let me know what you think. It's a letter from a newcomer's point of view of their first day on the ranch.
Of Mice and Men - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 741 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/9/2008 - Complete
All Is Not Right reviews
What was it like for Carlisle when Edward, Alice and Bella were in Italy. Carlisle's POV. Please let me know if I'm doing his character okay. Please review. Flames welcome. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,707 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/12/2008 - Carlisle - Complete
Every Rose Has It's Thorn reviews
Roaslie's thoughts on her life up until New Moon. Warning:contains New Moon spoilers. " I am beautiful. People think I'm vain, but I'm actually much deeper than that. I am Rosalie Hale." Please R&R. This is my first story on Rosalie.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,034 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Rosalie - Complete
The miracle of a brother's love reviews
Slightly AU, Jackson is younger instead of older. Miley gets sick with the same disease that killed her mom. What if her only option for a donor is her 6yearold brother? Will he be able to save her before its to late?
Hannah Montana - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,360 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/17/2008 - Published: 11/25/2007
Amity reviews
What was Carlisle really thinking when he changed Edward in that hopspital, so many years ago. I know it's been done before, but this is my take on it. Carlisle's POV Please R&R! ONESHOT
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 926 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
Incidental Accident reviews
**USED TO BE TITTLED 'THE ACCIDENT' and very briefly Bequeathed** Zelda is in an accident. Can Sabrina and Hilda save her before its to late? This is my first fanfic so please be nice. Constructive criticism is welcome, I want to improve my writing. R&R!
Sabrina the Teenage Witch - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 8,613 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 10/6/2007 - Complete
No one answers reviews
ONESHOT. What I think bella felt like after endward left her in NM. My first Twilight fanfic so please review and tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 571 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/6/2007 - Bella - Complete
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