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Joined 08-20-07, id: 1357040
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Hi everyone!!!!!!!!!!

First of all, if anyone has any questions about me or my stories or if you want to join the IReallyReallyHateJacobBlackAndWantToKillHimAllBecauseOfStupidAh-mazingEclipseClub a.k.a. the IRRHJBAWTKHABOSAEC, send me an email at For the lucky people who decide to join I'll email you an AH-MAZING official printable IRRHJBAWTKHABOSAEC badge!!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't ya love the name?????????

My favorite quotes:

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." - Mark Twain

I'm still working on my story and my profile but here's some pictures of the glasses Alice and Bella bought! Copy and Paste them b/c the link wasn't working . . .

Bella's Glasses:

Imagine them in blue and brown with a topaz stone. But that's the general style. fyi if it tells you to go to the homepage just go and choose women's frames then go to totally eighties and it's the second Bulgari

Alice's Glasses:

Once again, if it doesn't work go to safety glasses and look at OG043 they aren't exactly what I had in mind but I'm still looking. Oh well.

Sayings to live by:

The good die young... Us bitches live forever!!!

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..."

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

After I read New Moon and Eclipse, I tried to book a plane down to Forks, so I could kick Jacob's werewolf ass!

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Therapist The/rapist... scary thought

My Gay-dar is ponting at you madly, in your tight jeans and man make-up... I think there's something wrong with it...

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

You're intoxocated by my very presence

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! (white chocolate macadamia nut or chocolate chip?)

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. BUT I LOVE 'EM! They make me feel normal. (who's normal?)

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. (hate to break it to ya boys, it's a fact of life)

I could tell you what happened in Eclipse, but then I would have to kill you.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepair to shatter.

Oh him? He just has the most ah-dorable eyes you could ever fall for, and the cutest smile that will take your breath away And he has the ability to make you laugh when when the world just wants you to frown.

A friend will bail you out of Jail. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying “man that was awesome! Lets do it again!”

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you?

I Like My Men Cold, Dead, & Sparkling (but I mean really, who doesn't?)

Copy & Pasties!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Rachel_Ray93, not.your.average.vampire,

Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid cliche, Rachel_Ray93, not.your.average.vampire,

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot copy and paste this onto your profile

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you truely believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. (Edward. End of story.)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. (If I wasn't I wouldn't be here now would I?)

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frick'n trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

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How to skip class: Cullen Style by InMyOwnWords reviews
This is how the Cullens get out of that boring, tedious place we call school.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,717 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 6/15/2010 - Published: 8/4/2007
The Volturi Application by Alunamai reviews
It's a job application designed to make the person who fills it out go bananas. What happens when Edward fills it out and what are his thoughts as it thoroughly makes him angry. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,731 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 1/22/2010 - Published: 9/4/2007
Light bulb challenged by DreamsAreMadeOfVampires reviews
Bella replaces a light bulb... or attempts to. Lets just say it all unfolds from there. I promise I will write more if you like it. I've got big plans! Muahahaha! Remind me never to do that again!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 7,900 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 12/17/2009 - Published: 8/15/2007 - Complete
Vampire Chat Room by cornflowers reviews
When Edward is with Alice one day while Bella is at the Cullen's, Bella decides to check out Edward's laptop, and finds a very interesting website...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,200 - Reviews: 589 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 316 - Updated: 12/22/2008 - Published: 8/27/2007
She Will Be Loved by The Rejected Spork reviews
Set when Edward left Bella in NM. 5 years later, Edward is a famous singer named Clyde Mason in London and Bella is a famous dancer in NY. What happens when they cross paths? Read and find out. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 20,719 - Reviews: 528 - Favs: 185 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 12/21/2008 - Published: 8/17/2007
One Bullet Changes Everything by Lunaofthenight reviews
One shoot, one chance. When Edward and his family leave to hunt for a week what will happen to Bella. Will she survive just one week.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,908 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 11/29/2008 - Published: 9/19/2007 - Bella
Bella's Projection by Mollytigerc reviews
AU: Bella is a very powerful witch. She goes to live with Charlie in Forks. In Forks she meets her love. Her one true love. What happens if he isn't that far from supernatural himself?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 49,006 - Reviews: 249 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 8/22/2008 - Published: 6/28/2007
Unexpected Change of Plans by ElSapoLoco reviews
What happens when Edward gets what he wants most in the world?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,854 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 9/4/2007
Lost in Mystic Creek by xh4z3L3y3sx reviews
A delightful mix of all our favorite couples thrown into one dramafilled culdesac. MAJOR AU and CROSSOVER. EdwardBella RoryJess PaceyJoey SawyerKate DracoHermione SpikeBuffy
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 60,040 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/18/2008 - Published: 7/2/2007
Bitemarks and Bloodstains by Countess Jackman reviews
I stared at Edward, swallowing the lump in my throat before saying, “Well, there is one place we can go.” His eyes flickered with recognition and he sighed, turning to the rest of our family, “The Volturi.” Sequel to Waste a Moment.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 39,677 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 404 - Updated: 6/19/2008 - Published: 8/7/2007
Just a Pretense by arisaswordheart reviews
Isabella Swan's family is dead and all she has left is her friend, Alice. What happens when she throws herself into the world of men, where women shouldn't belong? What will she do when she meets Edward Cullen? And how will she keep her secret safe? BxE.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 17 - Words: 38,748 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 4/13/2008 - Published: 10/10/2007
Every last moment by SilverVolvo Girl reviews
Bella sits in the doctors office waiting to recieve the results of some tests. Bella doesn't expect to begin a battle for her life that she may slowly begin to will Edward take this news if bella gets the currage to tell him whats wrong?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 25,648 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 3/8/2008 - Published: 8/2/2007 - Complete
Nobody's Perfect by GtotheAtotheBBY reviews
All you did was kiss her, right? I asked. He didn't answer. The perfect Edward Cullen cheated on me and no matter how much he begged I wasn't going back to him. Never Say Never Bella! She learns no one is as perfect as they seem.- Complete!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 19,114 - Reviews: 732 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 1/15/2008 - Published: 8/2/2007 - Complete
The Sun and Her Moon by Tranquie reviews
What the further south side of the Werewolves’ clan? Only one girl knows. She had seen, loved and died for it. Her name was Isabella. And she will always be remembered, through a man with a set of golden eyes.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,648 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 11/6/2007 - Published: 9/18/2007
Welcome to Limitless by The Knight Bus reviews
Edward and Bella are off to college! How will they handle their new freedoms?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,870 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 10/1/2007 - Published: 9/20/2007
Transformation by x.isabel reviews
Bella was kidnapped and transformed by the Volturil. She is now a memeber of their group and has been sent to confront the Cullens. She remembers nothing.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,577 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 9/18/2007 - Published: 9/15/2007
Waste a Moment by Countess Jackman reviews
Warm blood seeped from the corners of my mouth as I stared at Edward in horror. “And if we leave it in?” He asked, his voice cracking. Carlisle hung his head, hiding his grim expression. “Either way, she dies.”
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 53,563 - Reviews: 1082 - Favs: 769 - Follows: 397 - Updated: 8/7/2007 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Complete
Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella reviews
Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,536 - Reviews: 1721 - Favs: 3,124 - Follows: 636 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Complete
Bella Gets Glasses! reviews
Bella gets glasses. Alice and Edward take her to the Mall of America to get them. She decides to show them off to the rest of the Cullens. What could go wrong? Now rated K! Chapter 4 should be up by Sunday!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,135 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 10/10/2007 - Published: 8/24/2007