Anyominous
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Poll: Which girl should be third in Naruto's Harem Vote Now!
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Joined 08-20-07, id: 1357329, Profile Updated: 12-09-08
Author has written 5 stories for Halo, Pokémon, Naruto, and Mass Effect.

I HATE YAOI FANGIRLS AND THINK THEY SHOULD ALL DIE!!

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, and want things like this to stop then copy and paste it to your profile.

My name is sarah I am but three,

My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight, don't make a sound!

I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse my name he calls

I press myself Against the wall.

I try and hide From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more,

I finally get free And I run for the door.

He's already locked it And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late

His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain again and again

Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.

Child Abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Naruto fanfics are over populated by yaoi, primarily NaruSasu. If you believe me put this on your profile.
By Order of ChaosLink

Quotes/Sayings

"Logic is for pussies"

"Cause i read it in a book" (me)

"Give me the keys your drunk" (me)

"idiot, the world is gonna be destroyed and your getting drunk... pass me a bottle" (Me)

"well duh dude this place sucks"(i forgot who)

"hey its that bozo that owes me 6 bucks" (forgot)

"upon the centuries, ages , and eons that go by even the strongest of devils will die" (forgot)

"use the force if that doesnt work just carry a gun"(me)

"speak softly but carry a big stick" (african proverb or somtin)

" Veni Vidi Vici" ~Caesar

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later. " ~ Mitch Hedberg

"Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored." ~George Saunders

"Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." ~John F. Kennedy

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." ~Isaac Asimov

"Life is a long lesson in humility." ~ James M. Barrie

"Humility is the crack up your ass" (im so funny)

"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive." ~Robert Heinlein

"In a mad world only the mad are sane." ~Akira Kurosawa

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." ~Albert Einstein

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

"I really don't trust a sane person." ~Lyle Alzado

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." ~Oscar Levant

"I am no more humble than my talents require." ~Oscar Levant

"We have, I fear, confused power with greatness." ~Stewart L. Udall

"Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend." ~Jules Renard

"Pride is a powerful narcotic, but it doesn't do much for the auto-immune system." ~Stuart Stevens

"So little time and so little to do." ~Oscar Levant

"Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting." ~John Russell

"There is no great genius without some touch of madness." ~Seneca

"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win." ~Sun-Tzu

"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?" ~ Harry Shearer

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat." ~John Lehman

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." ~Lord Acton

"Knowledge is power." ~Francis Bacon

"We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom." ~Stephan Vincent Benet

"Pride sullies the noblest character." ~Claudianus

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb." ~Sir William Churchill

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything." ~Eugene Delacriox

"Perfectionism is simply putting a limit on your future. When you have an idea of perfect in your mind, you open the door to constantly comparing what you have now with what you want. That type of self criticism is significantly deterring." ~John Eliot

"Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death." ~James F. Byrnes

"Death may be the greatest of all human blessings." ~Socrates

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance." ~Socrates

"I GOT THIS" (George Lopez)

"WahhhhhhhhhhPahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"(George Lopez)

"we have nothing to fear but fear itself"(FDR)

"Imagawa has 40,000 men marching toward this place? I don't believe that. He 'only' has 25,000 soldiers. Yes, that is still too many. So, Sado, you want me to surrender. What if we do surrender? Will you get content with losing your life that way? Or what if we hold on like Katsuie wants me to? What if we stay here in this castle, lock it up, and wait until the Imagawas lose appetite and stop the siege and go home? We will be able to prolong our lives for 5 or 10 days, and what we cannot defend will still be undefendable. We are at the bottom of the pit, you know. And our fate is interesting. Of course the misery is too great, too. But this is how I see it: this is a chance in a lifetime. I can't afford to miss this. Do you really want to spend your entire lives praying for longevity? We were born in order to die! Whoever is with me, come to the battlefield tomorrow morning. Whoever is not, just stay wherever you are and watch me win it!" (Nobunaga Oda)

"Wars are to be won with swords and spears, not salt and rice" (Usegi Kenshin)

"Hey don't you feel like you just drank yourself into a coma, got raped by hot blondes on crack, then get thrown out the window and hit by a bus. No? well i personally don't care." (when i wake up and i see my brother)

"Awww aren't you one ugly little fucker "(whenever i want to have a laugh i say that to people)

"Hey BEE_ATCH wanna pull your pants down, bend over, and let gaylords rape you while i video tape it and sell it to every one night stand you ever had(I LOVE THIS ONE" HEEEEE HEEEE)

"Hell is just one way of torture... Your the other one. May God bless whatever unlucky dammned fucker that ends up with you." (Thats right... i went there)

"Theres no time for me to go slow so bend over and let me plow you" (whenever chicks tell me that im walking or running too fast i tell them that)

"Did you hear? They have asshole prevention 101. Too bad for you and whatever fucked up people that like you"(Yep. Crossing the line is my forte)

"Um... yeah. I would awnser you but the problem is i cant hear you over your girl's screams. Feel free to pretend your loved and not a virgin" (Man am i good or what?)

"Yup he's growing up. Soon he'll move out and you know what that means. No more quickies in the bathroom. No more telling him that im cleaning your ass. No more cold showers. Freedom to fuck baby, freedom to fuck. (Whenever i see some guy one day and he grows an inch the next i tell that to the closest hot chick i can find)

"VIRGIN" (If some asshole tries to argue about something to me i just yell that out)

"One more fucktard down. Woot." (halo 3 and me. One way in. No way out)

"Can someone here please get this stuck up fool a lay" (hey hey hey im funny)

"Encentricty leads to happiness. Fogosity leads to me telling those guys down at the patent office how gay you are. Better tape up your ass" (yeah...)

"You have 3 options: 1. Fuck off 2. Fuck off please 3.Or fuck off or I show video tapes of you masturbating to gaylords gone wild to everyone you know." (some assholes just don't know when to leave people alone)

"First i send a letter to the president telling him that i have video tapes of him making love to his gay lover. So I figure 20 percent of people in the world are gay and or bi and this has a 50 percent chance of working so my number is at 10. Wanna see how i fail miserably?" (whenever i make up a plan during a debate)

"I swear by all that is straight and manly that you are some chronically gay motherfucker" (Yep me likey)

"Haha. I win. Pull that shit out your ass and smoke it BIZNATCH" (do i have to say it?)

"I swear if you weren't black, taller than me, and didn't look like you fuckin took steroids every fuckin few seconds i would kick your ass(yep there are people even i wouldn't trash talk... sometimes >.>)

"Any reason why i had to fucking do all that shit while you sat there looking like you were some gay rich piece of white shit?" (when im pissed because i have to do work while my bro gets to sit down and watch tv)

"Give praise cause Mr. White shit just awnsered the question. WRONG IDIOT. IM FUCKING DOMINICAN."(yeah white people just love to think im black or from fucking south america. IM DOMINICAN BITCHES)

"Well shit... if i had known you were that stupid i would've named you the All-American-Fucktard" (some people are that retarded)

"Dancing is an art. Art is a drug. Drugs are for sissys, idiots, pimps, hoes, white discriminitory assholes, blondes, and the all important Pres. Bush" (...yeah...)

"Well now... We've got ten hours before your parents get here. Pull em down and bend over. This may take a while."(yeah when chicks are alone and at their house...)

"Oops she did it again. That mattres humping whore. She fucked my friends." (I use this from time to time... Yep. I hate flirtacious chicks)

"Cause im Dominican Biznatch. Now go sit and spin." (me when people ask me why im so crazy, idiotic, random, fucked up, mean, horrible, an asshole, BLACK!!,and other such names)

Sayings of one funny motherfucker 'DevilKeys Writing':

I'mo kick yo' ass!(At the start of EVERY video game binge)

I can feel my braincells commiting suicide(When I'm extremely bored)

I'm sorry, what now?(When I'm ignoring someone)

Fan-fuckin'-tastic!(Sarcasm)

Congratu-fuckin'-lations!(More sarcasm)

You think I give a good goddamn?!(You know you've had these moments too)

I'm going to rip your spine out and use it for a coat hanger!(One of my favorite threats since I was twelve)

Whooptie-fuckin'-doo!(I think this is called "Sarcasm")

Can it, Gaylord.(To the gay clerk at Hot Topic that refuses to acknowledge his gayness, even when I caught him staring at my ass in a mirror)

There may, or may not be something living in your pocket.(Little cousin after he broke my PS2 memory card)

We have a situation here!...I'm horny!(Explanation should not be necessary)

I have morning wood and I can hear radio stations in my head.(I'll leave you to figure that one out)

What in zee hell?!(With completely retarded french accent while making prank calls)

Hey, fuck you, man!(I say this at least ten times every three hours)

Caffine'll kill ya'!(After reading an article about some guy drinking four cans of Monster energy drinks, running outside, then getting hit by a bus)

LIAR!!(To get the full effect of this, you have to throw a random object at someone before saying it)

Death waits for no one, but I'll give you a ten second head start.(A T-shirt that I made)

This is no time for your fagosity!(Halo team tournament)

Stop your fagotronics right now!(before anyone says that I took these from South Park, I was saying that before South Park was invented.)

Don't give me a reason, no one will miss you.(And if they do, I'll have to kill them too)

I'll bet you feel real proud of yourself right now.(After some prick got a lucky headshot on me and started bragging about it...then I shot him in the ass with the shotgun and teabagged him for five straight minutes!)

Put a cock in it!(One time some drunk chick at a bar actually did just that)

Shut it up!

Alright, muthafucka'?!(To be used with the classic, "Agree with me, or else..." look)

Touch me and die.(To anyone who doesn't know me, but still thinks they can be all chumy anyway)

Move along, asshole.(When people stare at me when I'm trying to shoot a movie)

When life give you lemons, punch it in the face and take some apples.(Seize the day, motherfuckers!)

BOOT!!(Right after I kick someone in the ass..or the face)

You just HAD to say something, didn't you?!(When someone says, "At least 'this' didn't happen", then it happens)

You have just been violated!!(I have a habit of shooting people in the ass with the shotgun when I play Halo)

Take Captain Hook out of your ass and let's go!(Weird Halloween party)

Get the fuck outta the way, you'll ruin my shot!(Used both for photography and hunting)

If you can see my face while I'm driving, let me know so I can run you over.(Bumper sticker)

My truck has bigger tires than yours, therefore, I go first.(Also bumber sticker, but not mine)

I want a good, clean fight...here's some bottles and a couple rocks, LET'S GET IT ON!!(Whenever someone says, "Let's take this outside" when I'm in a bar)

Did you feel...molested when you woke up?(I warned him about that woman, and that's all I'm saying)

I'll sodomise you with a rusty chainsaw!(I keep one in the toolshed...just in case)

Find the kid that no one talks to, and talk to him every day. You'll live longer.(Personal motto of mine ever since grade school)

There are easier, and less painful ways to commit suicide.(To anyone that pisses me off)

Give me a dictionary, I'm going to smack some knowledge into you!(I once did that and the guy said "Aardvark" before passing out)And for people who can't figure this one out, Aardvark is the first word in the dictionary, or at least the one I used.

What the hell do I think about when I'm asleep?(Woke up once with my pillow stuffed down my shirt like body armor)

There are things going on in my mind that I don't even know about...(Watched "That 70s Show" and found out that this was true)

Well, when zombies eventually take over the world and eat our brains, look on the bright side! You'll have a lot of hot blonde chicks to keep you company!(Do I really have to explain?)

Are you always this stupid? Or are you making a special effort just for me?(Said to many an Idiot at Taco Bell)

I'M IN UR HOUSE STEALIN' UR PORN!!(I've actually called someone just to tell them that)

Here we have quotes from a good and very hilarious writer: Fourths' Son

In war there are no unwounded soldiers / Jose narosky

When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers. / old african proverb.

If we don't end war, war will end us / H.G. Wells.

You are wise to climb mt. Fuji, but a fool to do it twice / Japanese proverb.

If a man wishes to move a mountain , he must first start by moving small stones / Chinese proverb

Sanity is calm, but madness is more interesting / John Russell

Fear of a name, increases fear of the thing itself / J.K. Rowling

There is nothing to fear but fear itself / Franklin D. Roosevelt

Hurry up and wait / Auron

Time is but the stream I go fishing in / Henry David Thoreau

Time to hit prime time bitch! / Freddy Krueger

genius is one of the many forms of Insanity / Cesare Lombroso

What's the matter, afraid of the dark? I'm not...the darkness is afraid of me. / Riddick.

Suicide is man's way of telling god- you can't fire me, i quit / Bill Maher

Only two things are infinite, the universe, and human stupidity, and i'm not sure about the former / Albert Einstein.

A lie told often enough becomes truth / Lenin.

You can not simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. / Albert Einstein.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. / Steven Wright.

i intend to live forever. So far, so good. / Steven Wright.

It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. / Carl Sagan.

A word to the wise ain't necessary- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. / Bill Cosby.

Whenever i see an old lady slip and fall on the wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then i think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. / Jack Handey.

I bet a funny thing about driving a car off the cliff is, while your in midair, you still hit those brakes Hey, better try the emergency brake. / Jack Handey.

Isn't it funny how whenever we go to a county or state fair, the first thing we do is see if they have some kind of pornography booth? / Jack Handey.

If your robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny. / Jack Handey

Because He Fuckin wanted to, that the Fuckin reason. / Jack Nicholson, when answering the old joke why did the chicken cross the road.

Everything is funny as long as it's happening to someone else.

Boredom: the desire for desires. / Leo Tolstoy

If at first you don't succeed screw it and try something else!

Fate may decide who wins this battle, but only fools give into defeat.

So this is the way the world ends..not with a bang, but with a whimper. / Mgs2, and H.G. Wells?

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf. / Walter Lippmann.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feelings that it brings.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

It takes 46 muscles to frown, but only 4 to flip em' the bird.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep- not screaming like the passengers in his car. Jack Handey

Flying is simple, you simply throw yourself at the ground, and miss.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, it's just that your is stupid.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to press the up button.

If the facts don't fit the theory, then change the facts. Albert Einstein.

Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two cents? Someone's making a penny off the deal! Steven Wright.

Think about world peace, while your doing that, i'll be over here stealing your stuff. Jack Handey.

Too bad you can't get a voodoo globe, and make the world spin really fast, and freak everyone out. Jack Handey.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you criticize them, you have their shoes and they're a mile away. Jack Handey.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Steven Wright.

Logic is for pussies! ( very few of may know who said this one.)

Just when they think they have all the answers, I change the questions. Roddy.


Bands that i like (in order of my preference. fave songs also included):

Linkin Park (breaking the habit)

Three Days Grace (animal i have become) my theme song when im angry

Disturbed(Inside the fire)

Nonpoint (a bullet with a name) my general theme song

3 Floors Down(Going down in flames)

Evanecsance(Bring me to life)

Foo Fighters (i forgot)

Mudvayne(World so cold) my theme song when im sad

Saving Abel (Addicted)

Static-X (Destroyer)

Saliva (Ladies and Gentlemen)

Atreu (Slow Burn)i personally think this should be tails or shadow's theme songps. thats from sonic

Simple Plan(Shut up)

Godsmack(I stand alone)

Greenday (Boulevard of Broken Dreams)

Guns'n'Roses(you could be mine)

Metallica(The Unforgiven)

More as i explore the wonderful world of rock.

i love naruto and anyone actually except yaoi parings, but i mostly like harems and naruto/older women or /demon chicks

However i would like to announce that i have a challenge to any writer that can successfuully write an at least 20,000 word story containing Anygirl besides sakura/Male harem. Must be M rated (thats for you pervs) and must contain little actual grammar and usage mistakes. Please dedicate me in your story or i will banish you to the next world.

i hate yaoi cause its just wrong. i mean if your straight would you like it if a gay man just raped you or even looked at you in a more than indifferent way. besides sasuke(sorry but his straightness is questionable due to the fact that he went to a gay pedophile) and orochimaru are the only gay ones so no gay parings or i will not be able to support your stories.

Rant mode:

I dont hate white people its just that those assholes piss me off. Except you of course hehe. cough cough Anyway i HATE YOU KISHIMOTO. WTF IS IT WITH YOU AND YOUR I WILL HAVE SASUKE ASS FUCK E VERYONE WHILE THEY WORSHIP HIS SHRIVLED AND TINY DICK THAT SAKURA SUCKS IN THE PUBILIC SQUARE EVERYDAY FOR. NARUTO IS AND SHALL FOREVER BE THE BETTER SHINOBI. HAVING NARUTO A GRAY TYPE OF CHARACTER IN WHICH THERE IS NO GOOD OR BAD JUST A SMALL PART IN BETWEEN MAKES NARUTO SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING. HIM BEING AN IDIOT IS SO WRONG THAT I REFUSE TO WATCH THE ANIME OR READ THE MANGA ANYMORE. WTF KISHIMOTO. JUST... WTF MAN. YOU NEED TO FIX THAT SHIT BECAUSE YOU JUST LOST A VERY GOOD FAN.

Recently lots of people have been calling me homophobic. Im not. In fact my uncle's cousin is a lesbian. And my whole family supports gay rights. Though when i call someone gay i mean that they're an asshole. But asshole gives them too much credit so the word gay makes them feel bad. Thats why i say gay so much.

Please support my stories if you don't i wont get happiness. Also participate in the forums. They're for adivce and to get my ideas working.

Rant Ended

ok then now KICK SOME MAJOR A but nicole please don't kill me when i tell you this butttttttttttttttt i accidently looked up your skirt when i fell on the floor. DONT KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

oh and remember im the man lol

for a good english to japanese and vise versa site, use the link below.

http://www.df.lth.se/cgi-bin/j-e/dict

This is my BiteFight profile. Click it please. Im trying to get gold and exp.

http://s5.bite-fight.us/c.php?uid=44844

http://photobucket.com/image/illuminati/BSTEINBECK/illuminati.jpg?o=4

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Missing by Tearatone Maystar reviews
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Regret by Narutoenthusiast reviews
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The Best Laid Plans by arun2110 reviews
Madara had a plan. The Yondaime ruined it. Madara made another plan. One that could not fail. But the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry and this one had just run straight into the number one most surprising ninja in Konoha, one Uzumaki Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 180,905 - Reviews: 1194 - Favs: 1,833 - Follows: 1,808 - Updated: 12/12/2013 - Published: 1/26/2008 - Naruto U.
Naruto Dragon Champion by Freedom Guard reviews
Two powerful swords from another world...forged by two Dragon Lords and their kind, one side who serve the light...another who serve the darkness, lands in the world of Naruto after a powerful battle. A new warrior class is born...the Dragon Champions
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 52 - Words: 676,270 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 1,364 - Follows: 806 - Updated: 7/31/2013 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Naruto U.
Dancing with Demons by Daystar Clarion reviews
Growing up with a pack of Demons is easy, especially when the older he gets, the more a demon Naruto becomes. But when the pack is killed by shinobi, Naruto vows revenge by learning to use his ever growing Chakra. Meeting team Seven, his journey begins.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 154,657 - Reviews: 2178 - Favs: 2,639 - Follows: 2,452 - Updated: 9/23/2012 - Published: 11/3/2006 - Naruto U.
Reflections of Demons by evil genus reviews
When the fight on the bridge takes an unusual turn, the whole Naruto tale changes, based off the one-shot Mirror, by Uchiki na Kage, see what happens when a hidden truth is exposed see inside for better summary Rated M for content
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Lost soul by LD 1449 reviews
The eve after Kyuubi's attack, Konoha is low on strength. The council agrees to turn Naruto into a living weapon. But years later, after Sarutobi's death, will Konoha's weapon continue to defend it? Or will he poise his blade to carve out their throats?
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Harry Potter and the Sun Source by Clell65619 reviews
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Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 111,868 - Reviews: 2013 - Favs: 4,908 - Follows: 3,746 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 9/11/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Partially Kissed Hero by Perfect Lionheart reviews
Summer before third year Harry has a life changing experience, and a close encounter with a dementor ends with him absorbing the horcrux within him. Features Harry with a backbone.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 103 - Words: 483,646 - Reviews: 14049 - Favs: 6,964 - Follows: 6,235 - Updated: 4/28/2012 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Harry P.
Hero's Harem: Hated By Many, Loved By More by T. Soul - The Harem Master reviews
Naruto has never had lasting happiness. Anytime something good happens to him it always gets taken away but not anymore. Naruto goes on a journey to be Hokage and jokes and romance are sure to be along the way. NarutoxHarem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 30,816 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 479 - Follows: 485 - Updated: 7/13/2011 - Published: 9/10/2008 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
The Missing Hokage by Jonque reviews
My answer to Perfect Lionheart's Missing Hokage challenge. A different take on the usual Naruto-is-kicked-out plot line, in which Tsunade refuses to let her reason for returning get thrown out without fighting back. With apologies, this story is officially dead and discontinued.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 256,548 - Reviews: 1385 - Favs: 2,434 - Follows: 2,334 - Updated: 5/29/2011 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Naruto U., Tsunade S.
Unexpected Love by JPMod reviews
Love can pop up unexpectedly with someone you least imagine to fall for. NaruTen. Complete.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 171,875 - Reviews: 376 - Favs: 1,077 - Follows: 538 - Updated: 5/16/2011 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Naruto U., Tenten - Complete
The Birth of the Araiki Clan by Lesingnon Bladewind reviews
The Raikage had a second target the night of the Hyuga Abduction, and Naruto was brought safely to Kumogakure. Upon arrival, he is gifted with a kekkai genkai in preparation for the birth of a new clan. Behold the power of To-Remu Yajuuki. NarutoxYugito
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 167,056 - Reviews: 719 - Favs: 1,604 - Follows: 1,376 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Naruto U., Yugito N.
Naruto: Entwined Tails by MountainWind reviews
When they met in a dream both were fulfilled, but slowly he forgot. She has not, and she has come to his life for one purpose: to serve and love him. The only problem is a certain kunoichi or two may object. Warnings and pairings inside.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 109,784 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 1,095 - Follows: 795 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 2/20/2007 - Naruto U., Tsunade S. - Complete
The Konoha Cobra by MikeJV37 reviews
Summary: Naruto is raised by Anko, will this change the future for the better or worse? dark/strong/smart Naruto. extreme language and violence, m/f f/f lemons with fetishes. Anko/kurenai, Naruto/Tenten Hinata & 2-3 others later.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 83,844 - Reviews: 355 - Favs: 1,033 - Follows: 816 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Naruto U.
People Lie by Nugar reviews
Lies have power. They can change a simple-minded believer into a two-faced schemer and a timid follower into a fanatical devotee. They can change a child angry at the world into a man consumed by more than vengeance. But that power is a lie as well.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 286,222 - Reviews: 2258 - Favs: 2,775 - Follows: 2,146 - Updated: 7/25/2010 - Published: 8/24/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Kage no Naruto by Artful Lounger reviews
What would have become of the idiot blonde if he had intelligence, ambition, and power over shadows and darkness, and all the madness that comes with them?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 93 - Words: 489,652 - Reviews: 3862 - Favs: 2,040 - Follows: 1,406 - Updated: 6/17/2010 - Published: 6/27/2008 - Naruto U.
A Mother's Love: Fire and Blood by lord of the land of fire reviews
Uzumaki Kushina survived her son's birth and the Kyuubi's attack. Now she must do everything in her power to protect him and help him reach his dream, to conquer and rule Konoha. Nar X Hin
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 45 - Words: 118,073 - Reviews: 3483 - Favs: 1,948 - Follows: 1,737 - Updated: 4/2/2010 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Conversations by evil genus reviews
Have you ever wondered if Naruto and Kyubi talked to each other outside the "give me power" talks? Ever wondered what their relationship really was? How they got along?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 51,380 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 721 - Follows: 640 - Updated: 1/2/2010 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Polygon by maverick9871 reviews
Kyuubi gives Naruto a choice that forces Naruto to want to end it all but a certain woman helps him in his time of need however now he has to make a deal with the devil in order to win or those he really cares for will be lost. Naruto and one sided harem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 27,977 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 296 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 11/29/2009 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Naruto U.
Hokage On The Run by Blood Brandy reviews
My answer to Perfectlionheart's "Missing Hokage Challange" Larger Summary inside. NaruHarem, NaruHina centric. rated T for possible future violence and language.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 39,374 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 628 - Follows: 777 - Updated: 10/25/2009 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Heisetsu: Similarities in Opposites by Phailen reviews
AU. Naruto was merely trying to avoid public eye in the forest when an odd series of events left him caring for a foul mouthed red headed girl. NaruTayu. One-shot turned story. M for language and violence. Slightly dark Naruto and Tayuya at times
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 109,711 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 553 - Follows: 528 - Updated: 10/17/2009 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Naruto U., Tayuya
Birds and the Bees by Romez reviews
Naruto is curious as to how babies are made. He doesn't want to find out by reading Jiraiya's books, but how is he going to find out? Maybe if he asked a person, but who? Join Naruto as he searches for answers to his questions about babies! Lime goodness
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,446 - Reviews: 488 - Favs: 504 - Follows: 451 - Updated: 10/1/2009 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Naruto U., Shizune
Harry Potter and the Four Founders by Darth Marrs reviews
In which Harry discovers there is more to being the Heir of the Four Founders than than just having really cool tattoos. Powerful Harry, Multi-Ship. Post OOTP. No Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 30 - Words: 122,615 - Reviews: 1841 - Favs: 3,738 - Follows: 1,615 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Resident Evil: Underworld by VampireQueenAkasha reviews
Albert Wesker was the one and the only survivor of the Wesker children. Before Ozwell Spencer dies, he reveals vague information of Project "Eve" and why Albert Wesker's creation hold "great significance". Mature moments, violence, and gore.
Resident Evil - Rated: M - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 59,065 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/12/2009 - Published: 6/8/2009 - A. Wesker - Complete
Chakra Master Naruto by Leonspirit reviews
After Naruto stoll the scroll of sealing he decided that learning the shadow clone jutsu would be just like the normal clone so he moved on, what is the next jutsu in the scroll? NaruXHarem Maby Rated for future lemons and violance. Maby Sasuke bashing.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,285 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 9/3/2009 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Rebirth of the Ero Sennin by Zaion Indulias reviews
When Tsunade allowed Jiraiya to take Naruto with him on his training mission, she threatened to skin him and salt him alive if Naruto came back a pervert. Six years later, Jiraiya is howling in pain as Tsunade dips him in a vat of salt. Let the fun begin.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 289 - Published: 6/27/2009 - Naruto U.
The Purple Plague by MadHat886 reviews
Naruto is called back to the village after a plague hits the village. A harem fic
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,988 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 270 - Updated: 6/16/2009 - Published: 4/21/2009
Resident Evil: Chronicles of the Saga by UN-4-Seen Scholar reviews
The novilization of the entire Resident Evil timeline. From the discovery of the Progenitor to beyond the fall of Umbrella. Read and review please my first fan fic.
Resident Evil - Rated: M - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 391,405 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 12/5/2007
The Lie I've Lived by jbern reviews
Not all of James died that night. Not all of Harry lived. The Triwizard Tournament as it should have been and a hero discovering who he really wants to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 234,571 - Reviews: 4016 - Favs: 6,918 - Follows: 3,217 - Updated: 5/28/2009 - Published: 2/9/2007 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete
Valediction by 50caliberchaos reviews
Short Story. The war with Akatsuki and Orochimaru took a toll on everyone, but none were so impacted by the horrendous and traumatic actions committed in the years of struggle as Uzumaki Naruto. Naru/Tayu, rated for violence, sexual content, and language
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 33,137 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 237 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 4/15/2009 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Naruto U., Tayuya - Complete
NU: The Nightmare of Konoha by 26-Lord-Pain reviews
AU, Xover with Soul Calibur and others, EVIL!Naru X Harem. Let me tell you a story, a story which transcends even history. A tale of Souls and Swords, eternally Retold. Watch as one Naruto Uzumaki learns what it means to becomes a true NIGHTMARE!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 31 - Words: 152,145 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 480 - Follows: 365 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 5/27/2008 - Naruto U., Anko M.
Naruto the Beast King by Froggy-slice reviews
A boy is born. He is the first of his kind. His stunning abilities will lead to confrontations and meetings with several different legendary beings. Meet the first lord of the common beasts, Uzumaki Naruto. Naru/harem Sasuke/Harem Shika/harem Gaa/Harem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 51,228 - Reviews: 526 - Favs: 818 - Follows: 795 - Updated: 12/21/2008 - Published: 1/8/2008 - Naruto U.
On the inside by souleater1234567 reviews
“Sakura,” I politely interjected “Could you please refrain from stabbing me.” her face twisted up into an even uglier mess of a girl and spat. "Shut up demon boy!" and continued her assault. narutayu dark and sarcastic Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,869 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 12/11/2008 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Naruto U., Tayuya
Bloody Whiskers by MystikD109 reviews
Naruto's hyperactive happiness is a mask, but what does it hide? His sadness and loneliness or his hatred and anger? The Kyuubi hasn't been a foreign concept to Naruto for a long time now, but a demonic link must be hidden at all cost, but for how long?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 143,569 - Reviews: 1165 - Favs: 1,674 - Follows: 1,409 - Updated: 9/24/2008 - Published: 4/28/2005 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
American ED by The Mauve Lantern reviews
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie... Rated Mature for drug use, heavy language, and some violence and explicit material.
Ed, Edd n Eddy - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,813 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/29/2008 - Jonny, Nazz - Complete
Nine Tailed Serpent by LT2000 reviews
Naruto was the ideal shinobi, a cold killer twisted by the Kyuubi's demonic whisperings. When he is placed onto a Genin team, new bonds develop. Now this living machine struggles with his dark past and what it means to be human. Now complete.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 27 - Words: 270,796 - Reviews: 2700 - Favs: 2,904 - Follows: 1,812 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 1/16/2006 - Naruto U., Anko M. - Complete
Meld Effect by Tyler Marcoz reviews
After the destruction of Sovereign, Shepard spends his much deserved downtime reflecting upon his mission, his crew... and his relationship with the asari scientist, Liara. :: Chapter 2 Posted :: Liara:Shepard, Colonist:War Hero:Soldier:Paragon
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,560 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/30/2007 - Published: 11/29/2007 - Shepard (M), Liara T'Soni - Complete
The Queen of the Koopas by Walkazo reviews
Precursor to the "Super Koopa" trilogy. After taking a nasty fall, Bowser is forced to look back on how he fell in love, and how Mario tore his family apart.
Mario - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 65,855 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Bowser, Koopalings - Complete
Deeds of Shinobi by lost-in-dreams-forever reviews
He had returned a year and a half ago only to find he had to leave again. This time leaving may not be a good thing. A new teacher and a new mission! What happens when he not only finds more powerful techniques but a new love? NarHinaSakOC CH 38 continued
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 93,937 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 6/21/2007 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
A Surreal Tale by E. M. Pink reviews
AU. Slytherin!Harry. What happens to the Wizarding World when Bellatrix and others discover the news of her inability to bear magical children? An enraged Dark Lord falls, and a small boy becomes missing: Harry. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 23 - Words: 176,908 - Reviews: 421 - Favs: 536 - Follows: 244 - Updated: 8/24/2006 - Published: 9/23/2005 - Bellatrix L., Harry P. - Complete
Enchantress of the Day and Night by Kneazle reviews
AU: In a world where witches and warlocks battle over slavery rights, where no sex is seen as an equal, a precious few gather to change the races' views before the war between the two turn something that could be the beginning or end of an era.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 77,383 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/27/2003 - Published: 3/28/2002 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
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Death of the Shinobi reviews
Death has come to the Naruto world.A deadly gas knocked Naruto out for weeks until he returned to find many of his friends dead and others turned insane.His support in a world that only wishes to use him is his love Kyuubi.Follow Naruto's path to greatnes
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,456 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 12/14/2008 - Published: 2/3/2008 - Naruto U., Anko M.
Forsaken reviews
Naruto has been shuned from society. He is tired of the glares and the beatings. just read
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,291 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 6/25/2008 - Published: 5/4/2008 - Kurenai Y., Naruto U.
End of the Road
Samuel Vasquez and Kevin DeVaga are brothers in charge of finding out what happend to an exploration team. The team turns out to be dead at the hands of the newly dubbed "Rippers". Sam gets attacked figure out what happens. WOOT i need reviews please.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,560 - Published: 5/9/2008
Sam the Vulnerable one
Sam is a sad kid, mostly because he saw his parents killed in front of his own eyes in his small house in Pewter City. Hes been a pokemon trainer ever since he was 6 and thus has had many adventures but now he's looking for the empty part thats gone. R&R
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 786 - Updated: 2/3/2008 - Published: 2/1/2008
Welcome To Suicide Bros Inc reviews
Sam and kevin are both brothers 7 years apart. When they signed up they didnt know that they had signed their own death warrant. read their adventure as they go from the rocky, hilly plains of halo to the flood infested swamps and their story of survival
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,000 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 11/18/2007 - Published: 11/12/2007