Author has written 7 stories for Twilight.
Location: Tacoma, Washington
The Blind Girl
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying... "Just take care of my eyes dear." i'll always love you forever..
I don't really believe this but it's weird:This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
ONE OF THE BEST THING ON THIS SITE! READ IT!
Girls Don't realize these things;
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
One bright day in the middle of the night,
HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I'm the one who can't accept myself.
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--
I am not homosexual, but those who are, I support you. I hate when people openly hate you guys, especially those who are very religious. I have realized they're just being hypocrites.
NO GIRL DESERVES THIS!!
Girl: I really like you. And I...
Girl: What do you mean "ok"?
Boy: I don't like you like that...
Girl: Why not?
Boy: I can't tell you... maybe
From then on, the girl kept asking the
Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why
Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
Boy: It's because you're uglier than
Girl: But... I...
Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!
The boy leaves and the girl is sitting
Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go
Girl: Alright Mom.
Mom: I love you.
Girl: I love you too, Mom.
Mom: Bye Bye.
The girl heads home and once she got
Girl: I'm not pretty enough...
She set to work, knowing fully well
Mom: Honey? Are you alright?
She opened the door and was shocked at
"Am I pretty enough now?"
A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. When Life gives you lemons squirt them in Life's eyes!
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Would try to put the fire out on your house
BEST FRIENDS: Would be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen
FRIENDS: will pick you up when your down
BEST FRIENDS: will push you back down and laugh
FRIENDS: ask why you're crying
BEST FRIENDS: already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
FRIENDS: will say you can do better
BEST FRIENDS: will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"
FRIENDS: will help you with your drug problem
BEST FRIENDS: are the ones who sold it to you
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! we messed up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!
The Friend Pledge
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.
2. When you are blue, I will try and dislodge whatever is in your throat.
3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4 When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could get until you stop whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me. I don't want whatever you've got.
8. When you fall, I will ask if you're okay, sit there and laugh at your clumsy butt.
This oath I pledge until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Other people can see it. But only you, can truly feel it's warmth.
This has got to be one of the most clever
THE MORSE CODE :
ELECTION - RESULTS:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
Man: Where have you been all my life?
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.
A boy and a girl are the best of friends,
from elementary to high school, beginning to end.
Through all those years, their friendship grew.
They both felt the same, but neither knew,
each walking moment, since the day they met.
They both loved each other, sunrise to sunset.
He was all she had; he was the one who kept her from the knife.
She was his angel, she made him smile.
Though life threw him curves, she made it all worth while.
Then one day, things went terribly wrong.
The next few weeks were like a very sad song.
He made her jealous, on purpose he tried.
When the girl asked ‘Do you love her?’ On purpose he lied.
He played with jealousy, like it was a game.
Little did he know, things would never be the same.
His plan was working, but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go, the damage he would do.
One night she broke down, feeling very alone.
Just her and the blade, no one else home.
She dialed his number; he answered ‘Hello?’
She told him she loved him, and hung up the phone.
He raced to her house, just a minute too late
Found her lying in blood, her heart had no rate.
Beside her was a note. In it, was her confession.
Her love for this boy, her only obsession.
As he read the note, he knelt down and cried and grabbed her
That night, they both died. She was found in his arms, both of
Under her note his handwriting said
‘I loved her so, she never knew. All this time, I loved her too.’
ONE FOR THE GIRLS!
(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
Child abuse is wrong, and it happens to too many kids in the world. Although people outside of the beatings can't really relate to it, we're trying. Just remember, we're always trying.
Her name was Dailey
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
Dailey is just one of millions of children who are victims of child abuse. If you are trying to relate on any scale of compassion for Dailey, copy and paste this onto your profile, please.
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Hush, little sister
I can see your arms
I know you scream
I can see the way
I know that people
Hey, little sister
You see, little sister
He screamed at me
You know, little sister
But hush, little sister
I'm sorry little sister
Uh oh little sister
Hush little sister
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!!
Hi, my name is Kazu. I like Writing and I like Athletics. I am running down the road I suddenly tripped over. I come home with a scratch on my knee. My mummy begins to worry. I tell her I am fine. She sighs and says ok. I am at school. When suddenly I fall and hit a tree. I am sent to the sickbay. Then I am sent home. Mummy takes me to the doctors. The doctors tell mummy something. Mummy starts to cry. I tell her it's ok. I'm not going to die. She tells me I am starting. Starting to be slower. I don't know what it means. But I have become sick. I tell mummy it's ok. I will become better. Mummy starts to cry. Do I have cancer? Mummy says no. Then what do I suppose. As a year had past. I struggle to walk. My speech is getting slower. It's hard for me to talk. My friends like to help me. My classmates like to run. But I have to sit down. And watch them have fun. Then one day myteacher comes to see mummy. Daddy comes out. And starts to get all snotty. The teacher tells my parents. I can no longer go to school. My motion is too slow. I ask the teacher slowly. I am sorry I am useless. I start to cry and beg her. I want to go to school. The teacher gives a smile. And tells me she is sorry. The school cant really help me. The words were so cruel. The day I had to leave. My friends and classmates cried. The boys upon the windows. Wave to me goodbye. I smile and sit in the car. I am taken to a school. A school with special people. Just like me and you. I start to have some fun. I made a lot of friends. As many years passed again. I talk too slow to understand. I cannot run anymore. And I struggle to even stand. I cannot write in my diary. My motion is too slow. Then one day I am sent. To the hospital again. Now many years have passed. I lie in a warm bed. I cannot move my body. I cannot move again. I talk very slowly. I cannot move my head. My mummy sits there crying. My daddy looks depressed. I ask my mummy sadly. Am I going to die. My mother holds my hand. Yells and starts to cry. A few more years later. I have to shut my eyes. I cannot talk or move. I seem to have died.
Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncureable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide.
Check this out...
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this ice ice _ --ummm still not cool, even then.
You remember watching:
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You said "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
when everything was settled by:
when cops and robbers was a daily activity.
when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching:
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching:
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs" :)
one word. . . Furbies.
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkman.
You had slap bracelets!
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
The last line makes me sad... : ( I HATE CHANGE!
Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1915
Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843
Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901
Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1915
Edward Cullen: Hotter and Spicier Than You since 1901
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."
Try Not To Cry:
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his brake wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them.
35 Things to do when your in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.
17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.
18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.
19. Start a fish-stick fight.
20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruff shampoo you recommended.
21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"
22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.
23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."
24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.
25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.
26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.
27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."
28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works best if you love Twilight, and don't try with Maximum Ride)
29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.
30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.
31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.
32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.
33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.
34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.
35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not give you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not go to class skyclad
31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasley twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous
43) I will not lick Trevor
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God
What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
YOUR GUY SIDE: (bold applies to me)
You love hoodies.
TOTAL: 20/25(hell yes, I'm SUCH a guy)
YOUR GIRL SIDE: (bold applies to me)
You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
TOTAL: 5/24(how sad is this? I scored a 5/24 and I'm a GIRL!)
SAD STUFF :'(
A little girl holding the hand of her orphanage nanny looks up at the sky and asks "What are those little lights in the sky?"
Two figures stand in front of a little girl's grave, crying over their dead daughter.
A sister shields her little brother from her father's drunken rage. Her brother runs away on the day of her funeral.
A man getting on a bus walks under a black sky, the stars hidden by light pollution. He has only seen stars in movies and pictures.
A little boy holds his mother, trying to keep her warm and dry from the rain dripping into their cardboard box.
A girl stands on the street in front of her house in the snow because she told her parents that she was lesbian
A Jewish man hides his face in public from fear of getting harmed
The neighbors hear screaming and crying in the apartment beside them, and had seen the woman with an empty bottle of alcohol walking towards the room, but they just pull their blankets tighter around them.
A girl sleeps on a park bench because she got pregnant and let her parents know
Someone kicks mud in the face of a man asking for a spare bit of change. The man couldn't get a job because he was gay
An African American woman stops going to church because they don't accept her race
A mother cries as the police drag her sobbing daughter away. Her wife comes outside and hugs her. The police had said she was an unfit mother because she was lesbian
Isn't that sad? No, I'm not lesbian or abused or poor, but I still feel bad for abuse and such... paste this into your profile if the messed up world we live in makes you sad...
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,
When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die
you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when you're in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his friends,
who thinks you're beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!
Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.
Now... make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH WISH
Your wish has just been received.
Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...
Your wish will be granted.
methods of Love...
So effin funny!!:
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that god damned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage
79 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
73. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe.
74. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.
I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
1) Repost this message.
A guy gets a girl 11 real roses and one fake rose. When he gave her the 12 roses, he said,"I'll love you until the last one dies."
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
Carlisle(for every story)- http://tengossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/heathledger.jpg
Esme(for every story)- http://upload.moldova.org/movie/actors/k/kate_beckinsale/kate-beckinsale-5.jpg
Rosalie(for How I Found Love)- http://www.topnews.in/light/files/images/Joanna20Krupa37.jpg
Emmett(How I Found Love)- http://www.freewebs.com/timelessdawn/cudmore1.jpg
Jasper(How I Found Love)- http://www.stormmodels.com/images_models/3199/Trent_Ford_2.jpg
Alice(How I Found Love)- http://upload.moldova.org/movie/actors/r/rachael_leigh_cook/thumbnails/tn2_rachael_leigh_cook_3.jpg
Mike(How I Found Love)- http://l.yimg.com/img.movies.yahoo.com/ymv/us/img/hv/photo/movie_pix/mgm/feast_of_love/toby_hemingway/pre.jpg
Jacob(How I Found Love)- http://www.lahiguera.net/cinemania/actores/steven_strait/fotos/4117/steven_strait.jpg
STUFF FOR "SPARKLE"
Rosalie and Alice's Car-
Bella and Esme's Car-
An awesome video of hot emo guys i think could be Emmett or Jasper in MY story
Bella: Amanda Crew-http://www.thepromotionpeople.ca/images/amandacrew_big.jpg
Edward: Henry Cavill-http://henry.intensevibe.net/photos/professional/perou003.jpg
Rosalie's Shoes- http://www.infectiousthreads.com/big_shoes_d_delight-676.htm
Rosalie's Hair(chapter 18): http://www.lynnechapman.com/images/messybunM.jpg
THINGS FOR HIFL
(imagine it as a tank top)-
Bella's Ballet Flats: chapter 14- http://www.shoeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/scoopnyc-white-ballet-flats.JPG
Bella's Tights(make the whites parts red): chapter 14- http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/12813.jpg
Bella's Vest: chapter 14- http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/12f/a/AAAAAlGl_GYAAAAAAS-mSg.jpg
Totally how I imagine Rosalie(minus the wings and flowers)- http://www.nenethomas.com/Earthmoon.shtml
Bella's New Car(chapter 16): http://www.hot-screensaver.com/wp-myimages/bugatti-veyron.jpg
Bella's Hair(chapter 18):http://media.photobucket.com/image/coontail/Strawberrymoomoocow/green-coontail.jpg?o=33
Bella's Prom Dress: http://www.promgirl.net/qu86.html
Alice's Prom Dress: http://beautymakeupdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/50s-strapless-satin-formal-bridesmaid-prom-dress-pink.jpg
Saera's Prom Dress: http://www.josephm.com/ladies-store-8/dresses-9/issa-long-black-backless-halter-neck-276893-100205_zoom.jpg
Rosalie's Prom Dress: http://media.onsugar.com/files/ons1/281/2817629/07_2009/b5/red-prom-dresses3.jpg
Angela's Prom Dress: http://www.splendicity.com/celeblook/files/2008/12/nicole-miller-gown.jpg
Edward and Bella's Blue Eye: http://media.photobucket.com/image/teal20blue20eyes/fawkes4/Teal_Eye_by_Midnight_Dark_Angel.jpg
Bella's Sandals: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41KVgeZP8NL._SL500_AA280_.jpg
DISCLAIMER for How I Found Love, Sparkle, Fat Cullens?, and Bella's Lion: Everything except oc's, story lines, and story titles belong to Stephenie Meyer. Except for Bella's Lion, the OC'S and horses only belong to me, and some of the plotline, the main storyline is Magaret Greaves's. THANK YOU!
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