JesterToTheKing
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 08-27-07, id: 1362563, Profile Updated: 11-26-08
Author has written 2 stories for Sweeney Todd, and Harry Potter.

I am...Jester to the King. My username comes from the movie The Court Jester, which is absolutely hysterically amazing, so you all should see it.

Some favorite pairings:

Remus/Sirius (my OTP)

Remus/Hermione

Harry/Ginny

Ron/Hermione (Just because it's canon and I don't dislike it)

Neville/Luna

Ginny/Draco

James/Lily

Fred/Hermione

James/Sirius (rarely)

If it's taken more as a joke and it's funny and written well, any pairing goes. Except Remus/Tonks. Grr.

I usually only read and write Harry Potter fics, but I do like the occasionally Sweeney Todd (as I've written one) and Edward Scissorhands.

Read and Review, please!

00.) Randomly list twelve of your favorite Harry Potter characters:
1. Remus Lupin. 2. Sirius Black. 3. Hermione Granger. 4. Harry Potter. 5. Ginny Weasley. 6. Bellatrix Lestrange. 7. Ron Weasley. 8. George Weasley 9.James Potter. 10. Lily Evans. 11. Draco Malfoy. 12. Fred Weasley.

01.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
Ginny/Draco, of course I have.

02.)Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Pretty sexy.


03.)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Incest, Weasleycest, Twincest. All of which I support, of course, except I'm not a huge fan of mpreg.


04.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?

Yeah, I've read a bunch of good ones, but for some reason my mind is going blank. I'll fill in another about James later.


05.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Haha. No. No. No. And no.

06.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Haha, Ginny/James is better than Ginny/Lily because James is supposed to be like Harry.


07.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

His ears would probably go bright red and he'd feel scarred for life from seeing his brother having sex. And he wouldn't be able to look at Sirius again.

08.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.

Hermione slipped her time turner and it took her back to the Marauder era. This time, however, she's fallen in love with an unlikely suspect. Her best friend's, not father, but mother.

09.)Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?
I highly doubt it. Fred/Remus!


10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Always the Tears of a Weasley. Ahah, don't ever use that title, please, it's horrible.


11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

Definitely time travel. Remus wouldn't be 20 years older than Harry and a be a virgin while the latter isn't.


12.) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?

Not sure.


13.) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Again, not sure, but most likely as Hermione's a common character.


14.) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

I think so.


15.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?

No, but if anyone else finds a Sirius/Harry/Ginny fic, do tell me. That sounds interesting, haha.


16.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

I never pegged her as a screamer.


17.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Ew. I really don't like song fics. And for George?

18.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
That's Remus/Bellatrix/Fred. Anything with Bellatrix must be M, obviously.

19.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
I could only imagine it happening in the reverse. Otherwise, she might say something about the reason she's rejecting James is for Sirius.

20.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
Yesterday, I think.

21.) What is Six's super-secret kink?

Oh man, I'm sure she has tons.

22.) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?

No and no.


23.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?

Ron, I guess. I haven't read a Ron/Hermione fic in years though. I've kind of left the world of canon.

24.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhapy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you five this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Let me just write what that says with my people: "Remus and James are in a happy relationship until James suddenly runs off with Harry. Remus, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Draco and a brief unhapy affair with Fred, then follows the wise advice of Ginny and finds true love with Hermione."

Laugh, please. I've always been terrible at titles, so I'm just going to call it "Remus in love." I don't know who would read it, but I think that RainynDawn (not that she knows who I am) should write it.
25.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

Not very good. George/Ron!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

50 Things Sirius Black Is Not Allowed To Do by Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love reviews
Remus tapes a list of things that Sirius Is Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts onto their door.RLSB SLASH!TENTH AND LAST ONESHOT POSTED!Number 49/50:Tell Dumbledore that his beard is erotic...and then attempt to stroke it seductively.Read and review!COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,419 - Reviews: 568 - Favs: 647 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 12/14/2013 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Pride of Time by Anubis Ankh reviews
Hermione quite literally crashes her way back through time by roughly twenty years. There is no going back; the only way is to go forward. And when one unwittingly interferes with time, what one expects may not be what time finds...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 50 - Words: 554,906 - Reviews: 2011 - Favs: 2,430 - Follows: 971 - Updated: 3/16/2012 - Published: 10/10/2011 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Shared Destinies by amightypenguin reviews
Marriage Law fic. Not HBP/DH compliant. Forced together because of a law Voldemort has put into effect, Hermione and Remus try to hold onto their friendship while faced with Dark Lords, jealous friends, and more werewolves.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 98,844 - Reviews: 859 - Favs: 1,109 - Follows: 459 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 11/12/2008 - Hermione G., Remus L. - Complete
Engaged Before the First Date by iheartwriting reviews
When the Ministry decides to enforce a marriage law, Hermione finds herself engaged to George Weasley. The two are already bonded by a secret only they share, and they grow even closer as they face their impending marriage vows. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 93,125 - Reviews: 757 - Favs: 1,439 - Follows: 365 - Updated: 12/2/2009 - Published: 8/7/2009 - Hermione G., George W. - Complete
Whispers of Tomorrow by RainynDawn reviews
3rd and final installment Hermione slowly regains her memories and with that rekindles a love as the war grows steadily closer. Will the love survive? Will they survive? Rating is being downgraded to T.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 91,443 - Reviews: 733 - Favs: 473 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 3/14/2007 - Hermione G., Sirius B. - Complete
This Left feels Right by moonyNZ reviews
Sequel to Bed of Roses. Sirius and Hermione settle down into family life before a new prophecy surfaces that threatens what they have started. SBHG HPGW RLNT..Pre HBP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 125,143 - Reviews: 1342 - Favs: 682 - Follows: 390 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 6/29/2005 - Sirius B., Hermione G. - Complete
Bella Swann and the Sparklepire of Hogwarts by youcantseeus reviews
Bella goes to Hogwarts and meets her One True Love. Brief Twilight parody.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,932 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Severus S., Bella - Complete
Innocence by Ceredwen reviews
What happens when two people with lives manipulated by the ministry and harmed by pureblood mania decide to fight back? Begins with a marriage law and follows them through their struggles with the wizarding world. Complete! Epilogue to follow. SBHG NC17
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 52 - Words: 208,415 - Reviews: 1609 - Favs: 1,269 - Follows: 525 - Updated: 10/24/2008 - Published: 12/2/2007 - Hermione G., Sirius B. - Complete
Sweeney Todd in 17 Minutes! by Da Phoenix 13 reviews
It had to be done. Gaze in horror and laugh until your sides hurt as everyone's favorite cannibalism musical gets, well, cannibalized!
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,325 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/9/2008 - Complete
To Let You Go by CharloBlack reviews
On the morning of Remus and Tonks wedding Hermione falls victim to one of the Weasley twins’ experiments and is accidentally thrown 20 years into the past. Only one thing remains certain, horrible things happen to those who meddle with time… RLHG
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 37 - Words: 65,177 - Reviews: 747 - Favs: 1,040 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 11/2/2007 - Published: 9/3/2007 - Hermione G., Remus L. - Complete
Tell Me About Yourself by danceswpenguins9 reviews
Oneshot. Lord Voldemort, bored late one night, decides to fill out one of those stupid internet surveys. Pure stupidity.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 955 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/2/2007 - Voldemort - Complete
In a State of Denial by xxanglophilexx reviews
Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are not gay. They are completely, totally, one hundred percent straight. They just happen to shag each other on a regular basis. That doesn’t make them gay, though. They are straight. Really. RLSB slash. ONESHOT. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,154 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 344 - Follows: 25 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Potter Family Reunion by fuzzynavaljewelry reviews
COMPLETE This is not your normal timetravel fic. It's a timetravel fic on crack, taking a bath in LSD, gargling Nyquil and singing Puff the Magic Dragon. If you think this is a LilyRemus fic, then you obviously didn't read past chapter two.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 20,673 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 7/20/2007 - Published: 5/7/2006 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
A Higher Law by Nynaeve80 reviews
New laws are in effect that will change the course of two people's lives forever. HGRL
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 83,240 - Reviews: 933 - Favs: 1,242 - Follows: 327 - Updated: 7/1/2007 - Published: 10/27/2006 - Hermione G., Remus L. - Complete
It's Called The Chamber of Secrets by CrazieDasie reviews
Remus and Sirius are the cause of school wide petrifyings. RLSB Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,369 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/26/2007 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Dirty Words by kjcp reviews
Poor, quiet Remus is cursed to say the most outlandish things … and Sirius likes it.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,548 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
All Those Snowy Nights by Immeritus Noxnoctis reviews
Oneshot. What's Edward been up to now that he's left Suburbia? This oneshot explores Edward's feelings, what he's been doing, and why he makes snow. More importantly, who he makes it for. 50 percent seriousness, 50 percent fluff.
Edward Scissorhands - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,750 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/21/2007 - Complete
To Make Much of Time by Mundungus42 reviews
When the Ministry meddles in their intimate affairs, Hermione takes her friends into hiding. Severus Snape is charged with finding them, but nothing could prepare him for this... except perhaps reading Hogwarts: an Art History. SSHG, HBP compliant.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 34,572 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 23 - Published: 1/12/2007 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Necessary by the Order by LadySeradeRETURNS reviews
Marriage Law for SiriusHermione. In order to protect her, he had to marry her. After HBP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 105,644 - Reviews: 1353 - Favs: 1,698 - Follows: 508 - Updated: 10/16/2006 - Published: 12/17/2005 - Hermione G., Sirius B. - Complete
Love Means Never Having to TimeTravel by BlueRosesAtMidnight reviews
Complete. FWHG. Hermione and Fred accidentally go back in time to the Marauder's Era when a potion explodes. Hilarity ensues when Fred creates their cover story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 77,694 - Reviews: 1470 - Favs: 2,699 - Follows: 555 - Updated: 4/16/2006 - Published: 12/5/2005 - Fred W., Hermione G. - Complete
The New Mrs Weasley by omens reviews
When Fred Weasley finds out he's betrothed he's desperate to get out of it. So he enlists the unlikeliest person for help. Fred/Hermione
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 56,103 - Reviews: 2976 - Favs: 2,684 - Follows: 695 - Updated: 3/9/2006 - Published: 12/2/2004 - Fred W., Hermione G. - Complete
Just a Harmless Joke by CrazyGirl47 reviews
Fred accidentally starts rumors that he's with Hermione, and encourages them for a laugh. When she find out, she's furious. Now the two of them are fighting to outembarrass and annoy one another... but they're also fighting their feelings for each other.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 41,220 - Reviews: 3076 - Favs: 4,253 - Follows: 605 - Updated: 11/25/2005 - Published: 9/28/2004 - Hermione G., Fred W. - Complete
This Time Around by Disneydoll0424 reviews
Hermione Granger travels back in time and meets up with the Marauders. She finds out that changing the past can have unexpected consequences for the future. HGRL COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 69 - Words: 255,823 - Reviews: 4941 - Favs: 2,743 - Follows: 583 - Updated: 9/5/2005 - Published: 3/7/2004 - Hermione G., Remus L. - Complete
Bed of Roses by moonyNZ reviews
Currently being edited - July 2009. During a Death Eater attack Hermione is sent back in time where the Marauders and Lily befriend her. Haunted by her past Hermione must learn to live in the other time. Eventual SBHG JPLE. Rated r for later chapters -
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 57 - Words: 132,327 - Reviews: 1584 - Favs: 1,890 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 6/23/2005 - Published: 2/8/2005 - Sirius B., Hermione G. - Complete
Lost by VenusDeMilo reviews
Hermione gets lost in the past and falls in love with Severus... Cliche, true... but still fun (Complete)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 94,477 - Reviews: 1783 - Favs: 1,718 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 4/15/2003 - Published: 2/13/2002 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

How to Force the Marauders Out of the Closet reviews
Fred and George overhear Remus and Sirius up to a few things on their new Extendable Ears. They decide to use this new information to their advantage. Slash Remus/Sirius RLSB
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,991 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/15/2008 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
A Shave for Christmas reviews
Charlotte only wants a nice, warm pie for Christmas. Her husband, Lawrence, only wants a nice, clean shave. It's March. Will they get what they want in these hard times?
Sweeney Todd - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,262 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 5 - Published: 1/16/2008 - Complete