ThePet
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Joined 12-08-01, id: 136277
Author has written 33 stories for Sherlock Holmes, Poltergeist: the Legacy, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Misc. Books, Matrix, Van Helsing, Stargate: Atlantis, and Doctor Who.
Thought this deserved an update. I' m a 22 year old postgraduate student of clinical criminology, living in Oxford, UK, and I write as a hobby, in these fandoms:

- Van Helsing: my current pet project is a sequel to my first fic 'Possessions'; it's called 'Strange Gifts' and there are two chapters posted so far.
- Harry Potter: Many stories in various genres, all Snape-centred. 'Penance' is the one I'm most happy with.
- Lord of the Rings: Silly paraodies only, featuring Boromir as the main focus. Yes, even after he's dead.
- The Matrix: I'm slowly working on a Smith-focussed prequel to the movie series, followed by an equally Smith-focussed sequel to the prequel, set after the movies. Make sense?
- Sherlock Holmes: Parodies featuring my own creation, dim-witted detective Sebastian Domesday, plus a semi-humorous fluffy SH/JW slash tale
- Star Wars: Mostly daft comedies, featuring Obi-Wan or Mace Windu as the main characters. Also a WIP involving Obi and young!Anakin.

Feel free to contact me on MSN; *BAMF* is the handle I use (long story). Or email me! at K_L_Schofield@hotmail.com. I'm happy to chat with anyone about fanfic, fandoms, writing, or anything else:-)

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Connection by Kayt reviews
PostReloaded: Smith told Neo of a connection between them. A slower crew member is sent to find out just what that connection is. As the line between man and machine blurs, both she and Neo will be forced to make a choice... This is AU with Revolutions.
Matrix - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 39,330 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/30/2005 - Published: 6/4/2003 - Smith, A.
No Higher Praise by Triskelion reviews
James Potter comes back to life; dark secrets are revealed; angst for everybody; heavy doses of Voldemort, Snape, Black, Lupin, Malfoys, Weasleys, Pettigrew, and Fudge. Harry Potter’s fifth year – now blatantly, defiantly AU. No OotP spoilers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 111,583 - Reviews: 1019 - Favs: 764 - Follows: 418 - Updated: 2/26/2005 - Published: 4/9/2002 - James P., Harry P.
Getting To Know You by Ellex reviews
AU sequel to The Storm. Rodney gets whumped, saves the day, reveals the details of his unhappy childhood. McShep
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,548 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/23/2004 - Published: 12/19/2004 - Complete
Wizards Honour by Kazza reviews
Snape is facing the most terrible threat to his bachelorhood an arranged marriage. Can Snape and his 'bride', Sinistra, avoid the trap set by their relatives and the Hogwarts ghosts? Now Alternate Universe. Not OoTP or HBPcompatible
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 41,244 - Reviews: 454 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/31/2004 - Published: 12/9/2001 - Severus S., A. Sinistra - Complete
The Unconventional Tale of Aragorn and Arwen by Laziness Incarnate reviews
And they lived happily ever after, except when husband-abuse occurs. CHAPTER 12 UPLOADED! Good lordy, it's a miracle. [On-going]
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,509 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/28/2004 - Published: 2/16/2002
Jesus goes to Hogwarts by teh gr8 authur reviews
CHAPTER 4 IS UP! Bible Harry Potter crossover! What would happen if Jesus went to Hogwarts?
Bible - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,390 - Reviews: 237 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/3/2004 - Published: 10/15/2003
A Cheap Shot by Zeech reviews
A short stories concerning the relationship of Pippin and the valiant captain of Gondor, Boromir -- as well as with the rest of the Fellowship.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 24,123 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/24/2003 - Published: 2/2/2002 - Boromir, Peregrin T.
Snappy dressing dude gets hit on the head by trinity4 reviews
Boromir gets hit on the head and starts acting a little...odd
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,369 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/26/2002 - Published: 3/6/2002 - Boromir, Aragorn
While the Ring went south by Thundera Tiger reviews
What happened after the Fellowship left Rivendell but before they came down off Caradhras? Behold the missing scenes.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 149,624 - Reviews: 968 - Favs: 821 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 11/6/2002 - Published: 10/31/2001 - Complete
A Simple Mission by Berzerkerprime reviews
SECOND CHAPTER UP! A year after the death of Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan and Anakin are still settling into their roles as Master and Padawan. Meanwhile, the Jedi Council sends them, along with another Master-Padawan pair, on a seemingly routine mission.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 36,038 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/30/2002 - Published: 5/30/2002 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K.
Lord of the Sleaze by Cityscape reviews
Drugs! Prostitution! Drunkeness! Need I say more? The much delayed final installment - The Departure of Boromir's Liver
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,200 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 8/25/2002 - Published: 2/19/2002
The Way, The Truth, The Life by nostalgia reviews
Hoshi and T'Pol, in the future.
StarTrek: Enterprise - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,574 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/16/2002 - H. Sato, T'Pol
No Other Choice by Antigone1 reviews
Obi-Wan is faced with one of the most difficult trials in his life. Will he go it alone, or admit what he's doing to Qui-Gon?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,188 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/3/2002 - Published: 4/27/2002
Stranger by the Day by Veruka and Faith Accompli reviews
A mysterious magic transforms all of the adults at Hogwarts into their fifteen-year-old selves. Can four unlikely and rather inept heroes right this wrong? Updated: Band of Buggered become bewitched, Beetled and bewildered.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,314 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/13/2002 - Published: 4/3/2002 - Severus S., Sirius B.
Harry Potter and the OFSTED inspection by Ravenclaw's Graduate reviews
In his sixth year at Hogwarts, Harry is faced with an evil greater than any he has seen before, an evil so huge that all wizards, whatever their loyalties, must band together to survive it... COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 24,738 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/9/2002 - Published: 4/21/2002 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

And The World Keeps Turning reviews
Drabble. Just a peaceful interlude on a hillside. Doctor and companion of your choice!
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2005
Possessions 2: Strange Gifts reviews
When Van Helsing returns from a three-month mission to find Carl gone, he is sure the dark priest's parting gift has something to do with it. But has Carl left because he is afraid of harming others - or because he desires to harm them?
Van Helsing - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,288 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/13/2005 - Published: 10/26/2004
A Nightmare on February 14th reviews
Carson? McKay and I are heading down to you. Rodney did it again..." When Sheppard finds an Ancient device that McKay can't resist trying out for himself, mayhem ensues. Part 2 up!
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,828 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/18/2005 - Published: 2/14/2005
Wavelength reviews
After a tragic accident involving an Ancient device, McKay and Sheppard must work together in a race against time to save a life dear to both of them. And all they need is to be on the same wavelength...(McShep friendship, slash-free) (4 UP)
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,779 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/7/2005 - Published: 1/21/2005
One Last Kiss reviews
When Elizabeth is taken by the Wraith, time is all that Rodney can ask for. Drabble. Character death. McWeir.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 448 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/1/2005
Possessions reviews
When Carl is plagued by recurring nightmares about a dark priest, Van Helsing must risk his friend's life to save him - while himself haunted by a figure from the past. 13 UP
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 13 - Words: 26,082 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/8/2004 - Published: 5/15/2004
Matrix:Resurrection reviews
Prequel to the Matrix series. The creation, death, and resurrection of Agent Smith...
Matrix - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,202 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/2/2004 - Smith, A., Oracle
Unforgiven: The Life of Severus Snape reviews
We become the thing we hate the most. Harry Potter has lost everyone he ever cared for, including himself...and only one person can understand how he feels: Severus Snape.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,532 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/25/2003 - Published: 12/13/2003 - Severus S., Harry P.
Pureblood reviews
When Voldemort was at the height of his power, a pureblood wizard, fearing temptation, rebelled against his true nature and abandoned magic. Now he is back...much to the consternation of his brother, Severus Snape. *5*
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,378 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/18/2003 - Published: 4/14/2002 - Severus S.
A Case of Identity reviews
Who killed the young Death-Eater in Snape's office? Can Severus and Sirius, with a little help from Hermione, put aside their differences long enough to find out? A Hogwarts Murder Mystery! *updated*
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,371 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/12/2003 - Published: 9/15/2002 - Severus S., Sirius B.
Village of the Snapes reviews
*4 up* Meet the family...fearsome Grandmama Livia, Mad Uncle Drusus, and many others...plus the foul Mont-Streppings, and amorous!Narcissa...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,356 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/28/2003 - Published: 5/23/2002 - Severus S.
The Lyrics To Your Tune reviews
Long-promised Snape/McGonagall angst fic. Some romance, no slush, nothing physical. Continuation of the 'Snape's redemption' theme, featuring Bitter/Jealous!Severus. 2 UP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,089 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/23/2003 - Published: 8/31/2002 - Severus S.
The Raven reviews
Not a novel...a poem, parodying 'The Raven' by Edgar A. Poe. I sincerely hope it's funny. With kudos to Spike Milligan.
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,193 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Published: 2/16/2003
Some Towers reviews
Being the sequel to 'Lord of his own ring'. Subtitled 'the adventures of Boromir's younger smarter brother'. Chap 6: Frodo and Sam meet Faramir!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,711 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/31/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002
My Master's Mirror reviews
Six years post-TPM. A story of mirrors...parallels of life and death: the death of a Jedi Master, a Padawan's jealousy, and a gifted young man's fall into darkness. 3 UP
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,976 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 12/29/2002 - Published: 12/7/2002
The Hardest Mission reviews
Eight Jedi and a Sith Lord are trapped in the women's underwear department of M'erks and Spen-ceers.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,079 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 14 - Published: 12/14/2002
Ulterior Motives reviews
PG for (barely existent) slash. Lockhart wants a few words with Snape after the Duelling Club...in a broom cupboard!? Also featuring Snape/McGonagall
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,880 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/25/2002 - Severus S.
Corrupted reviews
Rated for the cruel corruption of a young, innocent mind...SLASH themes warning. Malfoy makes Harry an offer he can't refuse...or can he?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,546 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/13/2002 - Harry P., Draco M.
Happy Halloween reviews
A very short, fluffy story for Halloween. Minerva is disappointed when Snape decides he prefers work to spending an evening with her.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,513 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/31/2002 - Severus S.
When in Rome, do as Rome Does reviews
How will Snape and McGonagall survive in Muggle London, pretending to be a married couple? NOW COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,133 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/23/2002 - Published: 4/15/2002 - Severus S. - Complete
Attack of the Bad Dialogue reviews
Satirical set of AOTC sketches. Heavy sarcasm warning. Produced by my twisted sense of humour. If you like that sort of thing, R+R! New chap
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,657 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 10/20/2002 - Published: 6/9/2002
Remember Him, or, Penance reviews
COMPLETE Usually it is impossible to find something until one stops looking for it. Redemption is no exception...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,426 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 21 - Updated: 8/24/2002 - Published: 5/20/2002 - Severus S. - Complete
Mace Windu's Day Off (or, the Jedi's new Groove) reviews
Mace Windu rediscovers the cool he lost years ago. How will this affect his fellow Jedi? 2 UP!!
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,145 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 8/16/2002 - Published: 8/11/2002
The Fine Art of Diplomacy reviews
Blackadder meets LOTR...Faramir, for the sake of diplomacy, is betrothed to six-feet-tall 20-stone Eowyn. Can his associates Pippin and Merry get him out of this one?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,153 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/6/2002 - Faramir, Boromir
Divination reviews
Short, experimental piece, more free verse than prose. Just why *is* Snape so friendly with Filch? Complete. This is an experiment, please R+R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 523 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/3/2002 - Severus S. - Complete
If you go down to the woods today... reviews
COMPLETE Dumbledore finally loses his patience with Snape and McGonagall's constant bickering. So he sends them on a special team-building task...will the pair, with help from Harry and Draco, survive Dumbledore's test? And each other?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,234 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/14/2002 - Published: 3/1/2002 - Severus S. - Complete
The Pilgrimage of the Ring reviews
*Now with added angst on the way* essentially a two part piece, the first part being charming-adventure-with-endearing-young-warrior-of-Gondor fic, the second part angsty-doomed love-and-suicide-with-a-twist fic. Read A/N for full summary. Please R+R!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,764 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 3/13/2002 - Published: 3/11/2002 - Boromir
Frodo Baggins: Lord of His Own Ring reviews
*BOOK 1 NOW COMPLETE* Five shortarses, an effeminate elf, King Hobo, a scruffy wizard and a bloke with an enormous horn set out for Mordor...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,792 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 23 - Updated: 2/24/2002 - Published: 2/1/2002 - Complete
The Domesday Books (2) reviews
Another installment of the exploits of defective detective Sebastian Domesday, as his small friend Mulberry chronicles Sebastian's chaotic collaboration with fellow loony detective, Sherlock Holmes. Some cheeky, adult humour
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,544 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/21/2002 - Published: 12/8/2001
Flame of Faith reviews
When Philip Callaghan begins to lose his faith, he unwittingly opens his heart and mind to a long-forgotten evil. Can Derek Rayne and Paul Reichlok save his soul...and the Legacy?
Poltergeist: the Legacy - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,929 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/30/2001
Black Ink, White Paper reviews
Gentle semi-humorous Holmes/Watson slash from Holmes' POV. Can the great detective outstrip all his previous achievements?
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,159 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/16/2001 - Published: 12/8/2001
Murder and the Muse reviews
Suffering author Oliver Meyers has a problem: he cannot create an original character. Enter the greatest literary detective of all time, in Muse form, to give some inspiration.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,657 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/8/2001
The Domesday Books reviews
Sebastian Domesday, defective detective, lives at 227d Baker Street with his small friend Arthur Mulberry and his basset-hound Moriarty...some cheeky humour, nothing gross. An affectionate parody.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,885 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/8/2001