mandrakefunnyjuice
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Joined 08-28-07, id: 1363491, Profile Updated: 09-05-16
Author has written 19 stories for Tales of Symphonia, Mass Effect, Harry Potter, Dragon Age, and Star Wars.

WHO? Welcome to the profile of the amoral, cinephilic crackpot called MFJ. I like puppies, skittles, cocktails, and the movie Cocktail, but not in that order.

WHY, GOD, WHY! I write to punish you for your sins! Sometimes I'll publish something, but later think better of myself and delete it. Sometimes I won't delete it because I forget to care about it. That is the inglorious tale of how all my horrible fics began.

I SHOULD KILL YOU. I wouldn't blame you. If there's anything that I've written, said, done, or outright shat on, you have the right to complain about it in a PM. I only request that you title that PM: "Shit MFJ Couldn't Give A Fuck About Even If Strapped To A Fuck-Giving Machine." After I hold your complaint up to publicly mock you, I'll deliberately forget about it, until a year later when I see it all lonely and decrepit at the bottom of my inbox. Then I'll go, "What the heck is this?" and delete it. If you expect otherwise, it's on your head, you sorry hippies. Cry me a river.

ANY NEWS? It turns out that MFJ is a human, despite popular theories, and as such she has to work, eat, sleep, gym, tan, laundry, and all that good crap that humans do. These things tend to keep her preoccupied, so ya'll now don't go around pissing yourselves in excitement for the latest-greatest - your britches will thank ya.

AT THIS POINT, SOME OF YOU might be saying to yourself, "hey, hey, MFJ. Hey. Mandrake." Which is an odd thing to say to yourself, but you might go on to say, "hey MFJ, why don't you get off that goddamn funny juice and update? It's been months, you lazy fuck!" To this, I must say: hey. Hey. Don't knock the funny juice, 'kay? You're upset. I get it. It's just. I've got other shit to do. Fun to be had, sleep to sleep, drinks to drink, drugs to take. Yanno. I also spend more time than I should writing things that should never be posted, evaaaaaarrr, but don't worry, you'll never have to see them (thank Christ) so they can't hurt you or your loved ones! I make no such promises about the things that I have posted, however.


AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: I have a collab account w/ EarlyMorningFreak. We're not creative, so the name of the account is EarlyMorningFunnyJuice, which EMF has pointed out sounds like an alcoholic beverage. I'd like to claim that was intentional. On there, we're writing a story involving swords, genius, guns, revenge, and swords. Possibly with some good ol' fashioned ass-kicking in-between. I don't know if/when it's getting updated, though, so consider the fic on indefinite hiatus.


SOME LINKAGE UP IN HERE. I possess a livejournal and a FP account. I don't really do much on either, though I'm slightly less lazy about posting on livejournal. You may sometimes find me creeping on there, under the name bisseharte. Now, feel free to creep on me on there as you please. I might even enjoy a little creeping now and then. However, if you creep too much, and feel yourself starting to become confused and/or aroused, I want you to remember that this is a natural reaction to me. I get it. I do! Sometimes, when I look at myself in the mirror, or think about how great I am, I feel myself becoming confused and/or aroused too. I also want anyone who thinks even for a second that they want to be friends with the actual person behind this profile, to re-think that decision, as I can be a downright jackass.


THE BEST QUOTE EVER.
“Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman scorned.” --Futurama (Mother’s Day)

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The Last Archangel by inukagome15 reviews
Part 1 of "The Last Archangel" series. No one knows where angels go when they die, not even the archangels. And if one finds himself in a different universe after death? It's one thing to leave heaven purposefully, it's another to find that heaven isn't even there. And Gabriel is alone.
Crossover - Supernatural & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Family/Supernatural - Chapters: 17 - Words: 126,222 - Reviews: 523 - Favs: 1,504 - Follows: 628 - Updated: 8/20 - Published: 7/19/2013 - Gabriel, Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S., Loki - Complete
Waiting by the Window by Symphoniafan reviews
He knew she wouldn't recognize him, not at first. It hardly mattered. He had been ordered to retrieve her so he would. Retrieve the Chosen, retrieve Colette... Nothing else mattered
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 61 - Words: 271,755 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 5/9 - Published: 9/24/2010 - Lloyd I., Colette B.
Parody of Symphonia by UnluckyAmulet reviews
A parody of TOS, including Lloyd's evershrinking attention span, Colette's blondeness, Raine's ruinmania, Genis's bratitude, Sheena's cleavage, and...yeah, you get the idea. Plothopes, sarcasm and loopholes galore!
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 34 - Words: 106,958 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/14 - Published: 8/27/2007
Z Skit Theater by Twilight Scribe reviews
Hilarious antics on the part of Lloyd and the party with a new skit each chapter. Now with four hundred percent more spoilers!
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 436 - Words: 130,406 - Reviews: 6503 - Favs: 656 - Follows: 399 - Updated: 4/11 - Published: 8/8/2006
The Angel's War by TheAngelsHaveThePhoneBox reviews
SEQUEL TO THAT WHICH HOLDS THE IMAGE. Life. All normal and stuff. With jobs and houses and boring-y, woring-y things like that. Normality, as Harry Potter realises, does not attract mad men in little blue boxes, so any hope of seeing his old friend the Doctor again is pretty slim. But then Ginny Weasley notices the sky is falling, and everything goes completely to hell.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,888 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 765 - Follows: 1,183 - Updated: 2/6 - Published: 4/7/2013 - 11th Doctor, Harry P.
Stars Fade by totallybursar reviews
Shepard knows that destroying the Reapers will kill her. Except she's never been good at dying. The explosion of dark energy from the Crucible thrusts Shepard into a totally different universe. Post ME3 ending, DA2 Act 2 beginning. Please note that this is not a FemShep/F!Hawke fic.
Crossover - Mass Effect & Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 66 - Words: 340,381 - Reviews: 1839 - Favs: 2,034 - Follows: 2,347 - Updated: 1/4 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Shepard (F), Hawke (F)
The Sword, the Singer, and the Vessel by Miss Snazzy reviews
After saving Bella from a vampire, two hunters will take up a new job—protecting her from the crazy redhead bent on getting revenge. New Moon AU. Season 3 AU. Eventual Dean/Bella romance. Sam/Bella friendship. Episodic format.
Crossover - Supernatural & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 105,796 - Reviews: 669 - Favs: 803 - Follows: 1,001 - Updated: 11/3/2015 - Published: 6/25/2011 - [Dean W., Bella]
Bastard Effect by Ridley the Violator reviews
Bastard Shepard is the only kind of person who CAN protect the galaxy. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully not. No. No, definitely not. Seriously, screw this guy. If you love to hate Mass Effect then you'll love to hate this! NOW CONCLUDING WITH THE LENGTHY CITADEL DLC ARC
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 37,441 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 4/20/2015 - Published: 12/17/2011 - Shepard (M)
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 32687 - Favs: 19,755 - Follows: 15,912 - Updated: 3/14/2015 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Witchlight by Teutonic Titwillow reviews
Xanos Messarmos has spent two of the past three months dead because a Netherese city fell on him. Nadiya bint-Musud's tribe has been kidnapped by the Zhentarim, leaving her the sole survivor. Together, they prove that the Anauroch is a far more dangerous place than even they could have imagined - and that fate, it seems, has a very strange sense of humor.
Neverwinter Nights - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 61 - Words: 273,696 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/29/2015 - Published: 10/15/2009 - Xanos M.
Breaking The Silence by RemyRems reviews
Kagome's returned quiet from the past. What's happened to make her so? A chance run in at the market brings back an old friend and new ones to help her rebuild her future. Will she be able to raise her voice for a new love? Rating M.
Crossover - Inuyasha & Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 134,974 - Reviews: 641 - Favs: 977 - Follows: 779 - Updated: 1/2/2015 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Kagome H., Kyōya O. - Complete
Once Upon a Time by tklivory reviews
This series is stand-alone stories for Dragon Age that are written after the pattern of Fairy Tales and Brothers Grimm stories, but more modern. They are part parody/part humor but remain true to the characters of Dragon Age. Rating for slight smuttiness.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 19,427 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/26/2014 - Published: 11/14/2011
I WON, I WON, NEENER, NEENER, NEENERRR! by All-Knowing Alien 2 reviews
Sauron FINALLY gets the Ring, but soon learns the downside when he has to deal with Sues, the 9 and three quarters Nazgul, Valar!Sues and...worser things. -EVIL laugh- Rated T for language and questionable themes. Don't own LoTR or the wonderful Koss.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 131,536 - Reviews: 501 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 3/4/2014 - Published: 3/15/2006 - Sauron
The Witch Queen and the Hegemon by Zalgo Jenkins reviews
R'hllor replaces Joffrey Baratheon with the soul that WOULD have been Peter Wiggin. Westerosi politics take a turn for the bizarre as Cersei applies her dysfunctional "parenting" talents to an even creepier child.
Crossover - Ender's Game series & Game of Thrones - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,163 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 233 - Published: 2/17/2014 - Peter W., Cersei L.
Dial 1800 for Ferelden Counseling Services by Reyavie reviews
And be attended by your very own Warden-Commander Aedan Cousland and All-Powerful Old God Urthemiel. Ask them anything, poke and prod at your own descrition and, most importantly, remember we lack insurance.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,829 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/7/2014 - Published: 12/9/2011 - Cousland, Urthemiel
HAYLO: The Parody From Hell by Ridley the Violator reviews
The Chief and his erotic lover Cortana must confront both the Covenant and a gang of very obnoxious original characters. More importantly, they confront the Chief's host of personality flaws, such as his extreme racism, questionable sexuality, disturbing psychosis, incredible stupidity, and general insanity. But is there a darker threat still? *Now with left justified paragraphs!*
Halo - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 66,024 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/23/2013 - Published: 8/26/2008 - Master Chief/John-117, Arbiter, Cortana, OC - Complete
Killing Time by Bella The Strange reviews
Dexter finds himself in Cardiff. Contains spoilers for Dexter season 2 and Torchwood season 1.
Crossover - Torchwood & Dexter - Rated: T - English - Crime/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,453 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 12/15/2013 - Published: 12/7/2013 - Jack H., Dexter M.
Now Hiring by have-a-cookie reviews
WANTED! Need a young maid that can cook and clean. Anything about sexual harassment in the job description? No? Well then, I'm so not getting paid enough. HikaruxOCxKaoru
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 39,246 - Reviews: 499 - Favs: 686 - Follows: 786 - Updated: 11/25/2013 - Published: 8/6/2010 - Hikaru H., Kaoru H.
Thinking in Little Green Boxes by Diresquirrel reviews
A certain young wizard ends up at 4 Privy Drive instead of 4 Privet Drive. He is raised with loving care by a cuddly Merc with a Mouth. WARNING: now with 19.96% more Death Eaters and a Rodent of Death.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Deadpool - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 48 - Words: 103,699 - Reviews: 869 - Favs: 2,101 - Follows: 1,637 - Updated: 11/21/2013 - Published: 6/28/2010 - Harry P.
Delenda Est by Lord Silvere reviews
Harry is a prisoner, and Bellatrix has fallen from grace. The accidental activation of Bella's treasured heirloom results in another chance for Harry. It also gives him the opportunity to make the acquaintance of the young and enigmatic Bellatrix Black as they change the course of history.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 46 - Words: 392,449 - Reviews: 7148 - Favs: 10,495 - Follows: 7,312 - Updated: 9/21/2013 - Published: 11/14/2009 - Harry P., Bellatrix L. - Complete
The Woman Who Counted by Jayie The Hufflepuff reviews
What would have happened if the plasmavore had gone to St. Bart's hospital instead of Royal Hope Hospital? Rewrite of Doctor Who Season Three with Molly Hooper in Martha Jones's place as companion. Pre-Great Game for Sherlock, will include Sherlock episodes.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 50 - Words: 151,629 - Reviews: 356 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 6/6/2013 - Published: 4/8/2013 - 10th Doctor, Molly Hooper - Complete
Hunter's Moon by Christy Tortland reviews
Alkyone, an Amazon jealous of Hippolyta's motherhood, steals baby Diana from Themyscira, fleeing to Man's World. She decides to raise Diana in a place no proud Amazon will think to look: the corrupted Gotham City. AU BMWW. The sequel, HUNTER'S NIGHT, is now posted.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 220,026 - Reviews: 1783 - Favs: 1,028 - Follows: 710 - Updated: 5/20/2013 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Bruce W./Batman, Diana of Themyscira/Wonder Woman - Complete
Catspaw by Peres reviews
Myraene Tabris gets rather more than she bargained for when she borrows a few books from the elf in the potions shop. Written as a gift for the lovely Oleander's One, to whom Myr belongs.
Crossover - Neverwinter Nights & Dragon Age - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,447 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/8/2013 - Sand, Tabris
Dark Souls by redtrouble reviews
The Kalach-Cha Cara Bayle has become the spiriteater, but the true source of her suffering is the loss of her friends and the man she loves. Or is there a way to get him back?
Neverwinter Nights - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,772 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/7/2013 - Kalach-Cha/Knight Captain, Bishop - Complete
Little Boy Blue by eggsaladstain reviews
Henry is good at pretending. Season one told through the eyes of Henry Mills. COMPLETE.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 12,685 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 1/15/2013 - Published: 11/13/2011 - Henry Mills - Complete
Shared Soul by Sings-off-key reviews
BG2 TOB. If Keeta had known the implications of sharing her soul with her fearsome brother Sarevok, would she have dared? PC x Sarevok. Completely revised and finally completed after long hiatus.
Baldur's Gate - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 48 - Words: 169,920 - Reviews: 209 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
Living as Lenore by Luna del Cielo reviews
Willow tried to bring Tara back from the dead…and she did. Unfortunately, it happened to be in a body 340 years in the past.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 175,593 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 12/22/2012 - Published: 11/29/2010 - Tara M., Gabriel
An Apostate? Me? by Sarah1281 reviews
Emma Hawke has never been the most subtle or sane of apostates, much to the annoyance of the brother that can only watch in amazement and horror as she stumbles her way from refugee to noble to champion in a city as bizarre as she. Eventual AndersXHawke.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 44 - Words: 135,221 - Reviews: 311 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 11/1/2012 - Published: 3/26/2011 - Hawke (F), Carver H. - Complete
Moonrise by alfalfaba reviews
Luna was always special, alway different. But after misfortune sweeps through her life, she finds herself somewhere even she couldn't have imagined.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 37 - Words: 114,274 - Reviews: 440 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 269 - Updated: 10/7/2012 - Published: 9/28/2010 - 10th Doctor, Luna L. - Complete
First Steps by Nightfoot reviews
In an effort to keep Kratos from leaving the planet, Lloyd talks him into telling the story of the first Chosen of Mana, Spiritua. This is that story.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 228,179 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 10/2/2012 - Published: 12/23/2010 - Kratos A. - Complete
What We Were by Crisium reviews
Just because it doesn't last doesn't mean it isn't real. Alistair/Amell, prequel to "What We Become".
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,209 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 343 - Follows: 171 - Updated: 9/28/2012 - Published: 12/1/2009 - Alistair, Amell - Complete
Future Trauma by secooper87 reviews
When the endangered animal Planet Express is delivering gets loose, and whole cities begin dying at once on the planet Doom, Leela, Fry, and Bender must rely on help from a strange man wearing a pinstripe suit, who might be - horror of all horrors! - a bigger thief and liar than Bender! Oh no!
Crossover - Doctor Who & Futurama - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,345 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 9/10/2012 - Published: 8/22/2012 - 10th Doctor, Bender R. - Complete
Death is Easy…Living is Hard by Luna del Cielo reviews
The slayer activation spell carried a double-edged gift with it. Buffy is immortal, but her friends are not. As death creeps upon them, she wonders how she can continue living in the absences.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Mercy Thompson series - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,238 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 9/3/2012 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Buffy S., Samuel C.
Steve And The Barkeep by Runaway Deviant reviews
Steve has a routine, and god help him if he's going to break that routine for anyone - yes, that includes you, Tony. Enter a local barkeeper with a penchant for the occult and the gift of good conversation. EWE, not slash, just a couple of guys and a few hundred drinks. Rated for fear of the thought police.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,438 - Reviews: 862 - Favs: 4,965 - Follows: 2,924 - Updated: 9/3/2012 - Published: 8/9/2012 - Harry P., Captain America/Steve R. - Complete
Kidpool the II and the Philosophers Stone by The General Electric reviews
Deadpool has done alot in his life. He's saved entire planets from chaos and destruction, killed many a man and even traveled through time. But now he's raised a son, left on at his door by mistake, a son named Harry Potter. Or Kidpool the II. Whatever.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Deadpool - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,301 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 507 - Follows: 565 - Updated: 8/31/2012 - Published: 3/2/2011 - Harry P.
Survival of the Fallen by Telcontar Rulz reviews
The world has changed; vampires and mutants now walk side by side with human beings and things have not always been smooth. After the turbulent events of the past few years, Marie goes to Louisiana to stay with her cousins. Meanwhile, a storm is brewing.
Crossover - X-Men: The Movie & True Blood - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 46 - Words: 227,708 - Reviews: 270 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 8/28/2012 - Published: 6/14/2010 - Rogue, Eric N.
The Key, the Sorcerer and the Gate by Morena Evensong reviews
Sequel to "Key in the Kingdom" Dawn and Merlin are still getting their feet wet in their interdimensional travels thanks to Dawn's powers, when their latest portal lands them in Colorado Springs. Random, yes. Supernatural? They don't think so... until Merlin discovers the dimension is magic-less and Dawn feels an unusual sensation. SG1 early season 7
Crossover - Stargate: SG-1 & Buffy X-overs - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,926 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 8/14/2012 - Published: 6/13/2012 - D. Jackson, J. O'Neill - Complete
Wanted: Responsible Adult by Sarah1281 reviews
After driving his first crush to a nunnery, Romeo swears he'll never love again...until he sees a very pretty girl. So what if she's thirteen? Her family hates him anyway! And Juliet's just glad to get away her really old almost-fiancé, her mother who is determined to add as many greats to grandmother as she can in her lifetime, and her really inappropriate nurse. It's true love.
Shakespeare - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 26,492 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 8/6/2012 - Published: 7/9/2012 - Complete
Jazz Age by mongoose-bite reviews
Hawke and his family fled the war in Ferelden on a liner, dogged by Darkspawn U-Boats. Two years later the war is over and Hawke is a private detective in Kirkwall, a city awash with jazz, bootleg liquor and a lot of trouble. Roaring 20s AU.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 60 - Words: 158,986 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 7/24/2012 - Published: 4/25/2011 - Hawke (M), Fenris - Complete
The Cat and the Boy Scout by Kipling Bunny reviews
An accidental double date. Should be fine, right? SMCW/BMWW
Justice League - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,435 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/14/2012 - Published: 7/18/2011 - Clark K./Kal-El/Superman - Complete
Batman vs Dexter by GazingAbyss reviews
While Batman searches for the Joker, Dexter Morgan starts cleaning up Gotham City in his own way.
Crossover - Batman & Dexter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 23 - Words: 60,086 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 6/26/2012 - Published: 2/10/2012 - Complete
Shady by CrosserX reviews
Deadpool one-shot. Deadpool is hired to test Wolverines healing factor, and he gets a bit more then he bargained for.
Deadpool - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 970 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 9/26/2011 - Complete
Key in the Kingdom by Morena Evensong reviews
It had been a perfectly ordinary day. And then he met her." Spoilers for all of season 1 and now the first half of season 2. Please read epilogue warning!
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Merlin - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 62,516 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 4/24/2012 - Published: 11/17/2009 - Dawn S., Arthur, Merlin - Complete
The Best Pep Talk Ever by Chiss Bounty Hunter reviews
Kink meme de-anon! Vector is nervous about proposing to their beloved Cipher, so they figure Kaliyo would be the best person to ask for advice, having known Cipher the longest. Yeeeup, that was probably a mistake. F!IA/Vector implied, no spoilers.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 728 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/18/2012 - Kaliyo D., Vector Hyllis
The Jedi Kind of Had it Coming by Sarah1281 reviews
All Revan wanted was to avoid any and all responsibility but the Force drags him back to the middle of the action once more. The Exile is probably the most dedicated Jedi ever and so she'll need all the help she can get... Sequel to 'So Not My Problem.'
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 30 - Words: 95,727 - Reviews: 554 - Favs: 585 - Follows: 300 - Updated: 4/16/2012 - Published: 2/8/2011 - Exile/Meetra Surik, Revan - Complete
Dark Coffee by Lucinda reviews
Sequel to Coffee & Thoughts. How will Angelus handle Willow? AU during season 2.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 28,997 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 3/8/2012 - Published: 4/12/2004 - Angel, Willow R.
The Most Interesting Man in Mass Effect by Made Nightwing reviews
Jacob Taylor is obviously the Old Spice Guy. But who is The Most Interesting Man in the World?
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,427 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 12/22/2011 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Zaeed M.
The Wesley! The! by Phantazm reviews
Ten pops in for a visit to the Federation's flagship and comes across his most annoying nemesis yet. Rather a scrappy little devil, in fact...
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,036 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/12/2011 - 10th Doctor - Complete
Just We Two by Suilven reviews
A series of glimpses chronicling Morrigan's pregnancy and the childhood and coming of age of the little one who would become a god.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,449 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/14/2011 - Published: 10/14/2011 - Morrigan, Urthemiel - Complete
If Bella Were Sane by The One Called Demetra reviews
The events of Twilight, had Bella been the only sane woman in the Twilight universe. Diarystyle. T because normal teenagers don't say 'Holy crow' when they swear.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,675 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 662 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Voice of Shawn by Somilge reviews
Shawn Spencer, psychic detective, pineapple enthusiast, one time foot and ankle model and, apparently, vessel to the Voice of God, Metatron. That last one was not going on his resume any time soon.
Crossover - Supernatural & Psych - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 36 - Words: 42,673 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 7/29/2011 - Gabriel, Shawn S., Burton G./Gus - Complete
Penalty for Winning by tinyfierce reviews
Hawke stayed away from Varric's card games for a reason. Neither likes to back down, and when it comes time to put her money where her mouth is, he doesn't show any mercy. Especially when it could lead to a fantastic story. F!Hawke/Arishok.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,560 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 61 - Published: 10/18/2011 - Hawke (F), Arishok - Complete
Legend by ShayneT reviews
Trapped by an alien collector, Lieutenant Commander Data discovers an early 21st century android excavated from the ruins of Sunnydale and a capsule containing the frozen body of one of the Eugenic wars most notorious figures...Buffy Summers.
Crossover - StarTrek: The Next Generation & Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 47 - Words: 103,194 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 481 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 9/14/2011 - Published: 6/12/2011 - Data, Buffy S. - Complete
50 Ways to Avoid Imminent Death by mercurywrites reviews
Have you ever been worried about finding youself facing death at the hands of Voldemort? Well, just read this manual and worry no longer...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,866 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/10/2011 - Published: 6/20/2009 - OC, Voldemort
Happy Accidents by PurpleMoon3 reviews
Though he didn't intend to do so, Aziraphale manages to save the world. Again.
Crossover - Good Omens & Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,000 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 9/5/2011 - Published: 7/29/2011 - Aziraphale, Dean W.
Project Gethinator by 500 Metric Tonnes of Palladium reviews
Tali may have a new ship and a new crew, but the forces of the universe certainly aren't going to let that stop them from tormenting her. Continuation of Inglorious Bosh'tets.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 91,400 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 9/3/2011 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Shepard (M), Tali'Zorah - Complete
Fallen Star by Alydia Rackham reviews
All Loki wants is revenge-the Cube may be his key. But when he hides his identity to get info from Jane Foster, something inside him shifts. And when the Cube is stolen, Loki must choose between vengeance, and the woman he fears he can never have.
Thor - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 116,927 - Reviews: 2083 - Favs: 2,360 - Follows: 500 - Updated: 8/29/2011 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Loki, Jane F. - Complete
A Southern Californian in King Cailan's Court by Zute reviews
Elissa's soul is misplaced and a earth woman becomes a Grey Warden without even knowing what one is. How a modern, earth woman adapts and solves Ferelden's problems, like the Blight and the lack of flush toilets.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 65 - Words: 288,459 - Reviews: 822 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 9/8/2010 - Alistair, Zevran A., Loghain M. T., Riordan - Complete
Read For Me? by DM-sama reviews
"Oh, please, Logan would you read me this story?" she said, holding up the book to his chest.
Fable - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,533 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/24/2011 - Prince/Princess/The Hero of Brightwall, Logan - Complete
all just bones and a long way away from home by Nagia reviews
Of this we can all be sure: sapients are destined, will die, dream, destroy, desire, despair, and fall into delirium. Commander Shepard has walked with each at one time or another.
Crossover - Sandman & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,936 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/29/2011 - Destruction, Shepard (F) - Complete
Fruits by Marletlunel reviews
It was a corrupt fascination, he knew it. And he told himself that staring would only make things worse. But that didn't stop Kratos Aurion from watching the suggestive way she ate fruits. rated M for some dirty thoughts
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 781 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/27/2011 - Raine S., Kratos A. - Complete
Fake Psychics and Psychic Paper by Sarah1281 reviews
Instead of hiding in London, the Plasmavore takes refuge in a Santa Barbara hospital. Now instead of a doctor with a crush, the Doctor's got a psychic detective and his partner at his side as he attempts a life without Rose but with plenty of pineapples.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Psych - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 70,528 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 557 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 6/24/2011 - Published: 4/1/2011 - 10th Doctor, Shawn S. - Complete
KYOYA OOTORI: User Guide and Manual by have-a-cookie reviews
CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own KYOYA OOTORI unit. This manual was made to ensure that you, the user, could get as much potential from your KYOYA OOTORI unit as possible.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,184 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Kyōya O. - Complete
Seven Ways to Die Trying by Gizmobunny reviews
AU. The Ouran Institute for Juvenile Reform is where rich parents send their kids when they are sick of dealing with them. But that's just for show. Haruhi Fujioka is about to learn what an extraordinary secret this playground for rich children holds.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 39,124 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 6/13/2011 - Published: 5/20/2010
Misguided by YamiSnuffles reviews
Bit of a crackfic; Hawke finds out from Aveline that she's been doing some late night "campaigning" for mages with Isabela. Anders approves but thinks her methods might be a little misguided. A fair bit of innuendo but nothing explicit.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,243 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Published: 5/31/2011 - [Anders, Hawke (F)] Aveline V. - Complete
Life on the Run by LibraMoon reviews
Alternate storyline to the Blight. Mage Amell is an apostate mage on the run. Her plan was never to get caught, but she never planned on saving the templar who is determined to bring her back. Rated M CullenxAmell
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 103,019 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 4/15/2011 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Amell, Cullen - Complete
Uncomfortable Attractions by Jakia reviews
Isabela finds out about Hawke's awkward crush on the Knight-Captain and brings up a discussion with all the party members: who are *you* uncomfortably attracted to? f!Hawke, various pairings.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,515 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/10/2011 - Hawke (M), Isabela - Complete
On the Body by Saucery reviews
Approximately 1000 words of Castiel being Castiel. Which means, of course, obsessing over Dean. And free will. And God. And the pizza man.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,241 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/8/2011 - Castiel, Dean W. - Complete
Living Conditions by SweetChi reviews
The apocalypse is over, the world is safe and Dawn's looking forward to her first year at Stanford. Unfortunately, Buffy is having trouble letting go, prompting Dawn to seek a distraction for her overprotective sister to focus on. Enter Sam Winchester.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 64,948 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 3/5/2011 - Published: 1/16/2011 - Buffy S., Sam W. - Complete
Crossing the Line by Ultra-Geek reviews
In which Merlin is bludgeoned, strangled, attacked, smothered, shot with glass, and tossed out a window, burned, whipped, stabbed, thrown down stairs, nearly drowned on dry land, and harpooned, and still manages to save Camelot from seven evil sorcerers.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,415 - Reviews: 295 - Favs: 2,005 - Follows: 235 - Published: 2/18/2011 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Tales of Chronicles of Legends of Symphonia by DatSpandex reviews
In a world where cursed game systems exist that possess the human mind through voodoo magic, a multi-talented, DD-cup fangirl is given a final chance at redemption... which involves teaming up with a Kid, a Lobster and a Sex God to save the world.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,575 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/10/2011
So Not My Problem by Sarah1281 reviews
All Revan wanted to do was stay alive and try to get with Bastila, in that order. He doesn't want to save the galaxy and he's not looking to help everyone he meets. Tragically, he's surrounded by hero types that keep trying to drag him along for the ride.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 99,156 - Reviews: 798 - Favs: 987 - Follows: 421 - Updated: 2/1/2011 - Published: 1/16/2010 - Revan - Complete
Straight To The Head by Made Nightwing reviews
After proving that he's the biggest badass in the universe, Commander Jack Shepard starts...enjoying, his position. And The Evil Illusive Man is once again thinking up an evil scheme to bring his evil plans to evil fruition. Evilly.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,387 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Shepard (F), Illusive Man
Just Cat by Lady-Kaguya-Writes reviews
"It's a cat, right? Just call the ugly thing what it's meant to be called. You're all giving me a damn headache." And so, his name was Cat. /\ one-shot; fluffy humor; Jacob/Kasumi
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,203 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/19/2011 - Kasumi G., Jacob T. - Complete
Individual Duality by kyaru-chan reviews
Draco has sacrificed much more than anyone has given him credit for. With Voldemort gone and the world back to normal, it's time to move on and live his life. But Prophecy has other plans, and everyone knows there's no escaping Him.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,418 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 1/9/2011 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Draco M.
Joker's List by Made Nightwing reviews
The Command Team of the Normandy SR2 are sick of Joker's pranks. They make up a list of 182 things that Joker is no longer allowed to do.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,509 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 31 - Published: 1/1/2011 - Joker - Complete
Bouncing Around by PurpleMoon3 reviews
Cas finds God. Crack-Fic.
Crossover - Supernatural & Psych - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 37 - Words: 42,534 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 410 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 11/30/2010 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Castiel, Shawn S. - Complete
Oddity by shannello reviews
[ kagome x kaoru ] It's bad enough that he's losing his brother to his best friend. Now he has to deal with a new student who seems pretty determined to stay on his mind. IYxOHSHC AU UPDATED 11/17/10
Crossover - Inuyasha & Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 30,150 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 11/17/2010 - Published: 9/9/2007 - Kagome H., Kaoru H.
Morning Is Broken by Beer Good reviews
Everyone has their morning rituals to make sure they start the day right. Until one day in early season 7, when they're interrupted by the latest curse to strike Sunnydale... Buffy/LOTR xover.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 560 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/16/2010 - Buffy S., Bilbo B.
Inglorious Bosh'tets by 500 Metric Tonnes of Palladium reviews
What was Tali'Zorah doing during the two years after Shepard's death? Discovering that the universe hates her, apparently.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 86,157 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 11/7/2010 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Tali'Zorah, Shepard (M) - Complete
Harveste Addams and the Goblet of Fire by kyaru-chan reviews
Let's have a little FUN this year, shall we?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 36,416 - Reviews: 626 - Favs: 2,734 - Follows: 773 - Updated: 10/2/2010 - Published: 9/27/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
The Death Star: An Imperial Workplace by Mr. Chaos reviews
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND! It's not all Tie Fighters and force chokes. Most days just see the Emperor trying to manage goofoff Piett, plain jane Asajj, new temp Kurt the Bothan and Darth Vader, the Assistant to the Emperor. The Office parody. Don't own squat
Crossover - Star Wars & Office - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 72,666 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 1/7/2008 - E. Palpatine
Love and Levirate by JessicaJones reviews
Alistair was not Cailan. He was only a collection of similar shortcomings, wearing her dead husband's face.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,885 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 7/17/2010 - Anora, Alistair - Complete
Everyone in the Galaxy Stay With Garrus by Noraque reviews
A crack fic based on Garrus' recruitment mission. I got the inspiration off of YouTube and decided to expand it GREATLY. Totally fun to write! Chapter 3 in another of my humour stories, but with some additions and modifications. Please READ AND REVIEW!
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,836 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Garrus V., Shepard (F) - Complete
Demiurge by Alara Rogers reviews
Jon has spent 20,000 years making life. Q says he's doing it all wrong. Could be either movieverse or comicverse Watchmen, since Dr. Manhattan's story is similar between the two.
Crossover - StarTrek: The Next Generation & Watchmen - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,008 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 41 - Published: 6/21/2010 - Q, Jonathan O./Doctor Manhattan - Complete
A Reader in the Stars by Mei Neko reviews
She found herself alone and in another universe. Now she's learning to live to be independent. She learned to make friends and create a new family. She just needs to learn to accept that this is her future now.
Crossover - Firefly & Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 96,597 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 5/22/2010 - Published: 7/30/2009 - River
Luckiest Loser by darkest just before the dawn reviews
COMPLETED! Who knew that a strawberry fruitcake landing on my head would be the best thing to ever happen to me? Mori/OC
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 122,599 - Reviews: 1270 - Favs: 1,432 - Follows: 620 - Updated: 5/11/2010 - Published: 4/16/2007 - Mori/Takashi M., OC - Complete
Pieorities by MoonGoddessShadow reviews
Even in his wildest dreams, Castiel never would've imagined that this is where they would find God, in this random hole-in-the-wall California diner. Slightly crack-y, especially near the end.
Crossover - Supernatural & Psych - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,349 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 52 - Published: 4/8/2010 - Castiel, Dean W., Sam W., Shawn S. - Complete
Through The Ages by BloodAndDiamonds reviews
'I found my heart when I met you, so it only made sense that it died with you.' The Warden reflects on her life with her Clanmate. One shot, MaharielxTamlen
Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,979 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/6/2010 - Mahariel, Tamlen - Complete
How Bishop Stole Christmas by Margery Meanwell reviews
A rewrite of 'The Night before Christmas', following our beloved bad-boy ranger as he sets out to spoil the holidays for the blissfully unwary inhabitants of Crossroad Keep.
Neverwinter Nights - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 621 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/7/2009 - Complete
Carth's Blaster by ryl00 reviews
KOTOR LSM Revan. On Manaan, Mission accidentally loses Carth's blaster and enlists Bastila's aid to help get it back. Humor. [6/14/2013 update: updated Chapter 4 to add a few more jokes to the end]
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,614 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/30/2009 - Published: 10/21/2009 - Mission V., Bastila S. - Complete
Sword Saint by The Lord Of The Words reviews
The telling of unfolding events through the eyes of Gorion's infamous ward, fighting against the 5 strongest Bhaalspawn. Full of fun encounters, vicious battles, and perhaps even love. Heroics and honor live in this telling of a great swordsman.
Baldur's Gate - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 39 - Words: 111,179 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 10/3/2009 - Published: 7/4/2007
It All Started with the Drunken Watchmen by Sarah1281 reviews
A Hamlet parody where Horatio tries to convince Hamlet that a tree is not the ghost of his father, Claudius thinks Laertes is his nephew and keeps accidentally confessing, and no one remembers who Polonius is.
Shakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,694 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/29/2009 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Complete
Inter Vivos by Lomonaaeren reviews
AU. Life alters drastically for Harry, Draco, and Snape after the Parseltongue incident in second year. Sometimes, all it takes is one impulsive throwing of a stone to send ripples of change through several lives. HP-SS mentorfic, HPDM slash. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 40 - Words: 263,213 - Reviews: 1864 - Favs: 2,252 - Follows: 806 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 12/24/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Shadowstep: Dead and Hating It by Mister Buch reviews
Selected entries from the diary of Booch Mishtar, Cyrodiil's most irritable adventurer. Chronicling his rise to mediocrity in the Dark Brotherhood and his transformation into Cyrodiil's most irritable vampire.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,856 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Complete
FORBIDEN LOVE by Queenie Z reviews
MITSUKO IS TWIN SISTER OF LLOYD BUT WILL LLOYD LOVE SISTER WITH DARK SECRET.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 222 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/8/2009 - Lloyd I. - Complete
The Ballad of Corporal Jenkins by Knightfall1138 reviews
A humorous account of the real hero of the Mass Effect saga, Richard L. Jenkins.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Parody/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,252 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 12 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Complete
Funny Alternate ToS Scenarios by Chosen Zelos reviews
In No Particular Order at all. The Ass Guard Saga Concludes FINALLY!
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 49 - Words: 66,691 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/24/2009 - Published: 8/31/2006
The No True Sith Fallacy by Elwin Ransom reviews
A stupidly philosophical parody of KotOR 2 that is basically nothing more than firing potshots at everyone's most hated character: the inimitable Kreia! Or something like that.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,373 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Complete
The Sub Nazi by Elwin Ransom reviews
In this se/prequel, Art Vandelay and Co. wander around Manaan aimlessly, hoping to find a way to defy the infamous Roland Wann and get to the surface of Manaan. Along the way, Art is poisoned, Canderous confesses, and Darth Bandon fails at life.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,781 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Complete
The Idiot's Guide to World Regeneration by The Minamotos reviews
Because it's not as easy as it looks. Chapter Thirty Seven: cute and insightful scenes will be forgotten, perverts will be squased, and the laws of physics will be broken.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 106,284 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 8/19/2006
Just Imagine by Warlordess reviews
Complete. Lloyd had never imagined a time when he wouldn't be able to protect Colette. Colette had never imagined a time when she and Genis would be kissing. Colloyd. Ish.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,413 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/21/2008 - Published: 9/19/2007 - Lloyd I., Colette B. - Complete
Deathly Hallows Alternate Ending Number 28 by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles reviews
By popular demand, here is another alternate ending to DH from yours truly!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 440 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/27/2008 - Complete
A Black Comedy by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 246,320 - Reviews: 5691 - Favs: 12,025 - Follows: 3,792 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 2/18/2007 - Complete
I, HK 47 by chapellefan reviews
FINISHED! As the SSV Normandy travels through space, they come across a strange ship. Inside they find a sentient droid. Its Designation: HK-47. A Mass EffectxKotor crossover. Spoilers abound!
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,591 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 4/6/2008 - Published: 1/28/2008 - Complete
Facts about Deadpool by Captain Deadpool reviews
These are parodies of some of my favorite Chuck Norris facts. Don't worry: I did alot more than just replace Chuck Norris with Deadpool for most of them.
Marvel - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,138 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/10/2008 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Complete
Fullmetal Bop by Phantazm reviews
A bounty has been posted for Edward Elric, but when he can change the laws of physics, what do the laws of man matter? The crew of the Bebop is about to find out...the hard way.
Crossover - Cowboy Bebop & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,965 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/6/2007 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Nurmengard by Eggo Waffles reviews
Harry thought the conversation was getting needlessly tangential, and decided that the quickest way to remedy this was by speaking in capital letters. BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH GRINDELWALD?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,645 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Albus D., Hermione G. - Complete
Can't Spend it When You're Dead by Phantazm reviews
The crew of the spaceship Bebop thought it would be easy to claim the bounty on the Humanoid Typhoon's head, but the appearance of Jenova's favorite son changed everything...
Crossover - Final Fantasy VII & Trigun - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,344 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/28/2007 - Sephiroth, Vash - Complete
Will by Kanthia reviews
Twenty years after the end of their journey, they begin to grow old and one by one pass away. It isn't until it's too late that those left living realize what little time they have left together. [complete]
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,207 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/10/2007 - Published: 4/29/2007 - Complete
Stupid & Stupider: The Revenge of the Idiots by Christy Tortland reviews
A parody of Revenge of the Sith. Anakin loves detonators and skateboards, Obi Wan's a space pirate, Soda's a Pepsiaholic, Scalpatine's a figurine collector, and Crabme is a neat freak.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 44 - Words: 45,585 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 2/13/2007 - Published: 11/6/2005 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker - Complete
The DA Missions: Agent Toots by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. One-Shot. DA Mission #1: Harry and the DA decide it's time to be a little more proactive in the war on the Dark Lord. Chief Counter Intelligence Officer Lovegood initiates her first mission: Operation Death is Your Friend.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,551 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 907 - Follows: 191 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Luna L., Harry P. - Complete
Bank Job by Dyce reviews
A teaparty, a card game, a bank robbery and the last appearance of the Blue Hands. River and Jayne's relationship begins to take shape. Covers an alternate version of 'Serenity: Those Left Behind'. 3rd in the Horseshoe Nail series.
Firefly - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,175 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 492 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 12/17/2006 - Published: 12/16/2006 - Jayne, River - Complete
Kinship by Dyce reviews
Jayne gets more attached to River, Simon and Inara become friends, and Mal is most unhappy. This is a sequel to 'Two Gorram Days',covering the time between 'Objects in Space' and 'Serenity: Those Left Behind'. PreRayne. 2nd in the Horseshoe Nail series.
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 33,705 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 618 - Follows: 70 - Published: 12/13/2006 - Jayne, River - Complete
Two Gorram Days by Dyce reviews
PostObjects in Space, preSerenity. Jayne is left all alone with a bad leg and a crazy girl for two days. It doesn't go as badly as it could. First in the Horseshoe Nail series.
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,353 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 1,056 - Follows: 85 - Published: 12/4/2006 - Jayne, River - Complete
Jayne Eyre by Meltha reviews
The great novel Jayne Eyre comes to life before your gorram eyes. The crossover that had to be written. Extremely silly stuff. Now includes very silly slash. Seventh chapter added and now COMPLETE.
Crossover - Firefly & Jane Eyre - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,552 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/4/2006 - Published: 9/23/2006 - Jayne - Complete
The Prince and the Chosen by Queenie Z reviews
For as long as she could remember, Colette had always been hiding her feelings from herself and others. But will that all change when a wonderful world of fairytales comes to life?
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,288 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/19/2006 - Colette B., Lloyd I. - Complete
Every Hour on the Hour by Jiara Anatalis reviews
And now for something completely different: the view through the eyes of a killer....droid. HK-47 takes a security patrol around the Ebon Hawk and doesn't like what he sees.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,232 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/23/2005
Not So Pure Pazaak by kaizokunami reviews
KotOR2, LSM Exile: Atton and Mira are trapped in the cargo hold. How better to pass the time than a round of pazaak Nar Shaddaa rules, of course. oneshot
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,343 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/19/2005 - Complete
Of Great Turmoil and Excess Stupidity by Seaouryou reviews
Harry Potter x Inuyasha crossover. In his quest to teach his students about foreign magical creatures, Hagrid has a demon shipped over from Japan. A poisonous, arrogant, illtempered one. Hilarity and mass murder ensue.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,952 - Reviews: 311 - Favs: 694 - Follows: 73 - Published: 2/12/2005 - Rubeus H., Sesshomaru - Complete
Shrek with Wrinkles by Meltha reviews
In the kingdom of Sunnydale, there live a bold champion, a maiden fair, and a talking donkey. Wackiness, as it is wont to do, ensues.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Shrek - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,890 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/7/2004 - Tara M. - Complete
The Dangers of Desert Driving by Meltha reviews
Spike regails an audience with the tale of a very weird hitchhicker he and Drusilla picked up in 1972.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,201 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/6/2004 - Spike, Drusilla - Complete
One Miz, Two Miz, Red Miz, Blue Miz by Jehan's Muse reviews
Les Mis in rhyme. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,295 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/3/2002
Combined Force by Meltha reviews
Spike and Giles band together to face one of the most terrifying events in the history of Sunnydale. Heh. 1 of 1
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,507 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/30/2001 - R. Giles, Spike - Complete
Business by Trinity Day reviews
Cole Turner visits the Magic Box in Sunnydale, looking for a magical amulet. A CharmedBuffy crossover
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Charmed - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,213 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 13 - Published: 5/20/2001 - Anya J., Cole T. - Complete
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Gifts of the Maker reviews
Once upon an alternate timeline, Bethany Hawke the Apostate never made it to Kirkwall with the rest of her family; instead, she was caught in Lothering at a young age by the templars and was sent to the Tower in Ferelden, becoming Bethany Amell the Circle Mage.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 3 - Words: 45,475 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/19 - Published: 7/12/2013 - Bethany H., Amell
How to Turn a Jedi to the Dark Side reviews
-In just five easy steps! SWTOR, from all walks of life. 3rd: Bounty Hunter.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,586 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/24/2012 - Published: 9/15/2012 - Sith W., Jedi C.
Morpheus reviews
Ayah Surana dreams no more.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,304 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/19/2012 - Published: 4/26/2012 - Surana, Cullen
This Calls For A Drink reviews
It was common knowledge that Commander John Shepard, N7 marine, first human Spectre, proud fiend of slavers, grudging savior of the galaxy, professional armed lunatic and notorious bamf, would do almost anything for a decent drink. Rated M for Manly. Chapter 7: Special Tactic Minsc.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 53,859 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 8/10/2012 - Published: 7/24/2011 - Shepard (M)
Tall Tales reviews
A story of woe, betrayal, art, vice, mystery, action, love, hate, science, magic, fashion, friendship, adventure, angels, capes, skirt-wearing men, and the merciless mockery of all of the above.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 58,895 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/1/2012 - Published: 5/15/2011 - Lloyd I., Genis S.
Ash reviews
"The emptiness of vengeance tasted a bit like ash in my mouth." P&L friendship, Presea's POV, reflective 'cause that's what I seem to be good at.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,281 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/27/2012 - Presea C., Lloyd I. - Complete
100 Themes: Electric Boogaloo reviews
You are not prepared for how FAR I just went there. Trust me, though, they're actually good. Most of them. -Rating may change. Will update sparingly, if at all.- THEME 9: Death. "Joy-Killer"
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,798 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/17/2012 - Published: 11/28/2011
Radiance reviews
"She smiles. 'I trust you, Zelos.' That damn smile. I think at this point, I'm just doing it all to see her smile again." One-shot, Zelos' POV, a reflective piece.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,773 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 1/13/2012 - Zelos W., Colette B. - Complete
Why Cruxis Is Made Of Win reviews
A long, meaningless dissertation about everyone's most hated evil organization, and why they should've won . . . and are probably still winning on in the afterlife. Now with a surprise ending! Dealt with a dose of salted humor; read, review, and enjoy.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,529 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/6/2011 - Complete
Did I just die? Did My Immortal just kill me? reviews
This isn't a commentary, this totally happened to me. This isn't a made-up story. I don't know what's real and what isn't anymore. Am I dead? What ... is this? What's happening to me?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 685 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/2/2011 - Giant Squid - Complete
Harry Potter and the Question Without Answer reviews
In which a night troll is bashed, Harry wonders why he's friends with it, and Ron is hungry.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 553 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/25/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Broken Time Turner reviews
Harry finds a broken time turner and is sent back to the 40's! Some stuff happened there! I wrote this about it. You should read it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/16/2011 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
She Really Did Get Held Up In Traffic reviews
In which Morinth kills Shepard, and Shepard deserves to die. A tragicomedy. "You will regret this," says an anonymous critic. "Longest set-up since sliced bread," says another.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 931 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/10/2011 - Morinth, Shepard (M) - Complete
Galactic Apocalypse: Asari Porn Edition reviews
A correspondency regarding the Reapers and their misguided efforts to lead a certain cripple to the their side of the war.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 888 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Published: 7/18/2011 - Joker - Complete
Galactic Apocalypse: A Message to Shepard reviews
A short message from the Reapers to their worst enemy, and their worst enemy's keen reply.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/17/2011 - Shepard (M) - Complete
Galactic Apocalypse: A Guide to the End of Times reviews
This manual was brought to you by the Reapers, who will soon be descending upon your vermin-infested homes to perform a comprehensive, galaxy-wide clean-up. You will all be exterminated, and your end is imminent! But fret not! This manual is here to help.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,964 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/15/2011 - Sovereign, Harbinger - Complete
The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back reviews
He loved the world once, and would have done anything to save it. But something changed, and it became all Wrong. It became apathy, the opposite of all meaning and feeling; what was the precise breaking point? When did it suddenly change? One-shot.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,018 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Mithos Y. - Complete
The Daily Stalker reviews
Going mad with power usually takes a lot of Time and TLC... but when presented with an item that grants Ultimate Power, madness can't resist the opportunity to leap forward. Rated T because the game is. Revamped. Hiatus.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,125 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/17/2011 - Genis S., Lloyd I.
Through the Eyes of Fred A Cricket reviews
Challenge fic for Freakyanimegal. I've managed to get ahold of Fred the Wonder Cricket's diary...ever wonder what he writes in there? Let's find out...
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,371 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 12/22/2007 - Published: 12/14/2007 - Complete