Poetlaureate498
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Joined 08-28-07, id: 1363642, Profile Updated: 06-19-10
Author has written 1 story for Fairly OddParents.

Summary of myself: Sometimes crazy or wacky, but mostly...obsessed (especially w/the Jonas Brothers!)

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

cheese-its make the world go round if you love cheese-its almost as much as I do copy and paste to your profile

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. . Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one sentence. Crazy is when you burst out laughing in a completely quiet room. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you have a random friend, copy and paste into your profile.

If you sing in the shower, copy and paste into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. (other than Edward Cullen of course.)

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder


"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton


When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. gals before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

A friend will help you move a body, a BEST friend will help you move the dead body of your ex boyfriend to a ditch on the side of the freeway!!

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I've got nothing to say, SO DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT TWICE!!

If u r obsessing over a boy right now, (other than Edward) copy and paste!

EDWARD CULLEN IS THE HOTTEST GUY ON THE PLANET!! if u agree, copy and paste.

-If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

- "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling!

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kicking.

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
There's a speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station...
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?(my dad said its because if they didnt people would say that its 'un humane', and that alot the gov. does doesnt make sense)
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why is round pizza in a square box?

why do people say that they slept like a baby when babys sleep for only two hours?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on
luggage?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio
out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a
car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When you eat, you have to chew and swallow...does inhailing count?

I don't need your opinion- CAUSE I'M ALWAYS RIGHT!

:¨·.·¨:
·. EDWARD

Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?

I'm not hyper, I'm just really wild!...You got a problem with that?

I gotta hit the books. ... where's my sledgehammer?

You know the old saying ,"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious!"

A teacher is trying to teach her class that is was impossible for a
whale to
swallow a human. Just because their mouths were big, their throats were
too
small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The
teacher
only repeated what she had stated in the first place; it was physically
impossible for a whale to swallow a human.
The little girl said, "When I go to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then will you ask him?"

Mystery and romance are great things. But when the mystery is if there is a romance, that's when it sucks!

My mind is like a steel trap- rusty and illegal in 37 states.
-If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
-You think I'm crazy? Well, at least I admit it.
-You know, there are poor people in Africa who can't afford sarcasm, and yet you abuse it.
-Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!
-I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
-Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right when he lied and told them there was no candy left.

ifyouhaveeverranyourwordstogethertryingtotslkreallyfastliketheCullen's copy &paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree but you've done this, too, copy this and put it in your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you truely believe there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you kinda think mosquitoes are a little bit cooler now because they suck blood (which makes them kinda like a vampire) copy this into your profile(i read a poem about it,if u wanna read it pm me!)

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...(I'm always board)

If you're planning to form a mob to attack Stephenie's publisher because you want Breaking Dawn now, copy this into your profile. (I'll personally supply the pitchforks.)

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Alice001,HeartOfAgony, VampiressE12B, Team Alice, Sportygirl457

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you think the Jonas Brothers are sissy's and need to get a life, post this on your profile.

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Edward and the Tampon by livelaughloveWRITE reviews
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This is my first story. I tried to make it funny, but it's more romantic than funny. Enjoy!
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