I AM BEING IMPERSONATED BY A TROLL: To anyone who's received Guest reviews signed in my name, insulting your work and threatening you into giving my stories good reviews, THOSE ARE NOT FROM ME! Ever since early 2019, a troll has been going around, mostly in the Invader Zim section but also making appearances in others (I've heard of them showing up in the sections for Teen Wolf, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, Victorious, Power Rangers, Once Upon A Time, Danny Phantom, Five Nights at Freddy's, Stranger Things, Harry Potter, Command & Conquer, Avatar the Last Airbender, Hunger Games, Hetalia, One Piece, Sonic, and The World Ends With You for starters). This troll has been leaving some truly disgusting comments, usually calling the stories they're flaming "pigshit" or "skunk shit", and also often throwing in homophobic, racist, and downright threatening remarks, sometimes demanding that writers leave the site. And what's truly terrible about this jerk is that they're not even settling for just hiding behind the anonymity of Guest reviews. No, they're taking things a step further by signing these reviews with the names of actual account holders in order to frame them and make them look bad. I have seen such forged reviews bearing the names of not only myself but also SaintHeartwing, Some dude who likes to write, Invader Johnny, SolemnGlory, Zim55, xXCelestialDarkness666Xx, otherrealmwriter, and IBGarry; I'm sure there's more I haven't seen. So, if you get a blatantly insulting review with the name of an actual account but it isn't logged in, assume that it's a fake, not the real account holder. Do not let this troll win by getting angry at actual writers or reporting them, just delete the review and move on, and maybe think about warning the real account holder that they've been impersonated. We all need to look out for each other, after all.

GENDER: Male

LIVES IN: New York City

AGE: Too old to like most of the shows I do, but what are you going to do?

The following stories now have their own TV Tropes pages!

Asylum of Doom

First Date

Gaz's Horrible Halloween of Doom

Invader Zim Jungle AU

Karma Circle: Judgement

Killer Ghost Goth Chick of Doom

Misery Loves Company

The New Adventures of Invader Zim

Ruby Pair

Valentine Chaos

The Violet Demon

What Comes Next?

Witching Hour

Invader Zim Questionare: 20 Q's (Paste this into your profile if you are an IZ Fan)

1. If you could hang out anywhere, where would it be?

My Answer: In Zim's base, helping him in one of his crazy plans to take over the world.

2. Which IZ Character Would You Date?

My Answer: Tak, I guess. Her human form was kind of cute.

3. Which IZ Character Is Your Best Friend?

My Answer: GIR. He is hilarious.

4. Which IZ Character Do You Hate?

My Answer: Gaz. She's just such a self-righteous, hateful little brat, and I can't stand her (on the show, anyway; she's more likable in the comics and movie).

5. Your Favorite IZ Episode?

My Answer: "Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars". There are many funny, quotable moments there.

6. Your Favorite IZ Character?

My Answer: Read my pen name. It's kind of obvious.

7. Favorite Almighty Tallest?

My Answer: Purple. He's the stupider of the two, which makes him funnier.

8. Zim walks up to you, what do you do?

My Answer: Ask for his autograph.

9. You just got 2 tickets to go see a concert, who do you take with you?

My Answer: GIR. He's more likely than not to go out of control and cause chaos, which would be quite enjoyable to watch.

10. You accidently got stranded on a deserted island...who got stranded with you?

My Answer: Again, I'd have to pick GIR. He's probably got either a boat or the materials to build one in his head, next to the beehive and the sandwich.

11. Zim asked you to help him repopulate Irk...what is your answer to this disturbing question?

My Answer: I'd point out that I'm a guy and that mpreg is sick and impossible. I'd then direct him to the nearest single's bar.

12. Favorite IZ Pairing?

My Answer: ZAGR. Zim and Gaz have a lot in common. They both hate humanity in general and Dib in particular, for example.

13. You and the Tallest are on the Massive...??

My Answer: I'd distract them with doughnuts so that I could try out their chairs to see how comfortable they are.

14. If you could spend your Friday Nights doing something, what would it be?

My Answer: Watching movies with GIR or using some of Zim's inventions to have some chaotic fun in town.

15. Favorite IZ Quote?

My Answer: "Go home and shave your big head of smell with your bad self!"-Zim in "Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars".

16. Favorite Zim Moment?

My Answer: Hard to say. But if I had to pick one, it would be when he was in full germophobic freak-out mode while calling the Tallest in "Germs".

17. Favorite Dib Moment?

My Answer: In "Dib's Wonderful Life of Doom", when he was standing before a crowd of reporters while the Massive crash-landed behind him.

18. Favorite Tallest Moment?

My Answer: Their two-second cameo in "Girl Who Cried Gnome", where they're shown on the Massive with those WTF looks on their faces.

19. Favorite GIR Moment?

My Answer: In "Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars" when he pops out of the turkey in Zim's lab and shouts "I was the turkey all along!"

20. Favorite Random Moment?

My Answer: Anytime the Scary Chihuahua shows up.

The Invader Zim Fanfiction Questionnaire… of Doom!

1) How many stories have you written for our favorite alien’s world?

60 stories for IZ - the rest are for assorted fandoms I probably shouldn't have disgraced with my presence.

2) Which one is your personal favorite?

The entirety of the The New Adventures of Invader Zim series has become my best stories. For oneshots, my favorite's probably Asylum of Doom.

3) Which one is your least favorite?

I think The Puppet Master; it's my first story, and compared to my later stuff is pretty bad.

4) What character do you write the most for?

Zim. Gaz is a close second, as most of my oneshots are about her.

5) Favorite pairing to write for?

ZAJR - Zim and my OC Jana. But mostly because I don't trust myself to write my favored pairings that are solely between canonical characters (ZAGR, ZATR, DATR) well enough.

6) How many reviews have you gotten on your most popular story?

267 reviews for The New Adventures of Invader Zim: Season 1.

7) Any flames or bad reviews on any of your stories?

The only really bad review I ever got was for my fanmake Young Frankenstein: The Toon Musical. It basically just accused me of plagiarism and pointed out all the flaws in the story; I kept it up (until it was deleted by site administration) as a reminder to myself to never try fanmakes again. There was also a troll who went on a flaming spree against my Anti-Gaz stories, but I don't take those seriously.

8) How long is your longest story?

The New Adventures of Invader Zim: Season 1 clocked out at 242,003.

9) Oneshots, chapter fics, or series?

I'm pretty much an even mix between oneshots and chapter fics. The Puppet Master and Reckoning form a series (and I may do a third story some day), while The Destiny Trilogy (Shadows of the Future, Evolution of Evil, and Galactic Armageddon) was my first series that was actually planned to be a series, and the New Adventures series is already into its second book with more planned to come.

10) Do you use spellcheck on all of your finished chapters in Open/LibreOffice or Word?

No duh.

11) How many OCs do you have?

My most prominent OCs are Prime (the main antagonist of The Puppet Master and Reckoning), Second Tallest Arnor and Third Tallest Gor (they appear in various stories), Jana (from The Destiny Trilogy), Invader Grimrair, aka "Grim" (co-created with Familiar47 for his stories - particular his Kill Zim timeline - and has so far only appeared in A Grim Mission; I might use him some more in the future), and Norlock, Steve, Viera, Nyx and Ying from New Adventures. I have several other minor OCs, but they're not really worth mentioning.

12) Does anyone accuse you of writing a Mary-Sue/Marty-Stu?

Well, one reviewer for A Grim Mission suggested that Grim bordered on Marty-Stu, but that I wrote him well enough to save him from it. At times I've thought I've made Jana a little Sue-ish, but no one's ever called me out on it.

13) In your opinion, what’s the best Invader Zim fanfiction ever?

Either Invader Zim: The Series by ngrey651, the My Hostage, Not Yours trilogy by RavenFollower13, Becoming a True Invader by Hero Zero, or Zim the Warlord: Irken Reversion by AkumaKami64. It's a close call; they're just so good.

14) What genre seems to be your most written for?

Sci-Fi. For Invader Zim, it seems like the best genre.

15) Do you listen to music while writing? If so, what do you listen to?

No. I watch TV, though, does that count?

16) Any yaoi/yuri stories?

Nope.

17) What’s the best review you’ve ever gotten?

Not sure; I've had a lot of good ones.

18) Which character do you feel you’ve written the best?

Gaz and GIR seem to be the only ones I can write for without subjecting them to flanderization.

19) How many Invader Zim stories are in your Favorites?

Including crossovers - 167.

20) Last but not least… Quick, write a summary of a Gaz/Gir story!

Uh... Gaz was hoping for a nice, quiet day at Bloaty's. Unfortunately, a certain annoyance had the same lunch plans.

Project Dark Jade:

A mutual project carried out by Eduard Kassel and Nocturne no Kitsune. It turns out they have many similar interests and disatisfactions. In one case this resulted in them working together to address a depressing vaccum in the Jackie Chan Adventures Archives. Namely stories in which the show's leading little lady either strays or is press ganged unto the dark side.

"Queen of All Oni" (Running): Eduard's contribution diverges at the begining of the Shadowkhan arc. Rather than Daolon Wong's spell reawkening the ancient ruler of the Shadow Khan, he revives a newer evil. The Queen of the Shadowkhan has risen again, and the hunt for the masks is on. Not only must Jackie and Torhu save the world they must save Jade from the darkess that engulfs her, if they can.

"Queen of Shadows" (Running): Nocturne no Kitsune has a rather different, but highly enjoyable approach in mind. When Jade attacked the Shendu possessed Jackie she made him slash a page with ink, setting the course of history into chaos. She awakens to find herself a powerful ruler in ancient Japan with mighty armies at her disposal. The armies beng the tribes of Shadowkhan and herself the dreaded Queen of Shadows. Can she mend the damage done to history and return to her proper self and time? Will she survive the forces of Light and rivals in Darkness long enough to even try?

"Jade Dragon" (Planning): No blue skin here, we are not horses of a single trick. In this collaboration a magic mirror sends Jade on a strange but very familiar journey. For now we will leave it at that.

"When I Grow Up" (Complete): Does knowing the future mean you can change it? Or is fate the one thing not even the indomitable Jade Chan can overcome?

"A Shadow of the Titans" (Running): Orginally concieved by Nocturne no Kitsune it has become a collaboration between him and Eduard Kassel. A sweeping lengthy saga crafted over much of 2009 in secret, the prologue was written months ago by Nocturne. The hiatus has delayed the launch leaving Kassel with the notes and plot outlines but now that Nocturne has given his blessing this project can proceed:

An accident during a banishing spell sends Jade cear to another world, but the intervention of a mysterious entity complicates her problems. Once more the Queen of the Shadowkhan, Jade must survive the world of the Teen Titans, where super heroes and villains clash in seemingly endless struggles of good and evil. And not only that she must try and find a way to return, or will this world's promises sway her from that course? Expected to be epic in length, and hopefully epic in other ways.

"Beyond my Abilities" (Planning): A delve into how power corrupts, and the desire for power corrupts absolutely. Once all the adventures are over and life has calmed down, Jade laments the loss of her exciting lifestyle. But the worse is yet to come, as she starts to feel ignored and useless. Her Uncles are seeming to drift away from her, and deny her the things she earned on her exploits like training in the martial arts with Jackie, or watching as Uncle brews another spell. Thinking that she is being dragged down into obscurity, Jade desperately attempts to find a way to add that exceptional aspect to her life again.

And she gets exactly what she wants, when she discovers a small shop with no name. But is the asking price for this store's special products more than what Jade is willing to pay?

"Roommate" (Running): ppH's entry begins at the start of season 2. When Jade gets between Valmont and Shendu, things are turned upside down.

Now stuck with the bad guys and with a 900 year old dragon in her head, will Jade find her way back into the light?

Or will Shendu drag her down into the darkness?

"The Blue Knight and The Dark Queen" (Complete): D. J. Scales comes onto the scene with a new take on the concept. In this tale, the King revives the Queen during the fateful meeting on the runway. With two members of dark royalty dedicated to the quest, the situation is grim for our remaining heroes. Now, with the balance between good and evil disrupted even more than usual, Uncle summons new champions to aid in their struggle. The dark forces may have regained a Queen, but the forces of good have gained a Blue Knight and the enchanted sword Caliburn to their cause. Crossover with Sonic and The Black Knight.

"The Blue Knight and the Dark Queen: The Immortal Relics": The sequel to the above.

"Queen's Ascension" (Running): What if when the 9 Oni Masks broke, something different happened than the generals being revived? What If Jade was given the chance to once again be the ShadowKhan Queen? A new spin on the return of the Queen; the motives especially are intriguing in this budding tale. Note: This story rearranges the continuity in regards to the seasons.

"Demon Sorceress of Fire" (Running): Jade has earned her place as a Demon Sorcerer by slaying the previous holder of the title. Compelled by her 'brothers and sisters', she will now restore the power of the Dark Hand, free the Demon Sorcerers to rebuild their kingdoms anew, all while trying to stop the slow merging of her soul with Shendu and retain her humanity.

"Her Shadowed Realm" (Running): CryptIXeeper introduces himself into the DJP with this particular story. In one reality, Jade turned evil. She betrayed the very family and friends she had fought alongside and cared about for power. However, said family and friends succeeded in banishing her to the Shadow Realm, a dimension bridging all others together with shadow. In the other, Jade is but an innocent girl with an average life and an average family. What happens with this evil Jade, taken to calling herself "Yu", finds a way to enter her world and tempt the innocent Jade towards the dark side? Find out as we begin a journey down the path of corruption, in the world of Yu-Gi-Oh! A Jackie Chan Adventures and Yu-Gi-Oh! Crossover

"影Kage" (Running): Longtime fan Chaotic9 enters the ranks with this story. Sometimes even the heroes' greatest victory can be tainted. And that cost Jade her place in her Universe. Now in another Universe watched by a place called Kandrakar and its Guardians, with some of the power she once possessed, Jade will try to find a way home, by any means necessary. But can she prevail in an Universe where Light seems to always beat Darkness?

"A MAD Heir" (Running): New guy Vladimir Zhivanevskaya adopts this crossover story first proposed in the forums. Dr. Claw is tired of his loyal yet hopelessly inept flunkies, and decides to try something new. Crossover with Inspector Gadget

"Shadows Awakening"(Complete): Ander Arias goes from fanart contributor to writer with his first Dark Jade story. Jade finds herself as the wielder of a great power, but said power comes with a price. Her only hope to return back to human before having to pay the ultimate price lies in one of her family's worst enemies, who plans to unleash an unspekable horror into the world. Dark Jade fic. Read and Review!

"Jade Cobra"(Running): A story from balfang van claude. Cobra Commander has his eyes on Jade Chan and plans a rescue when Jade was about to be kidnapped by Dr. Claw to earn her favor and offers her a great position as general of San Fransisco headquarters being based at the former dark hand's HQ. How will Jackie react when he finds Jade months later and how can the Joes defeat the leader who is also a child?

"A Frog in Arkham Asylum"(Running): Another promising fic from Chaotic09. Being stuck as a half frog was bad enough. But to be framed for her family murders is even worse . Locked up in the craziest place on the planet and stuck in the middle of the Dark Knight clash against his insane nemesis, Jade Chan will have to fight to keep her sanity in the one place where she can lose it. Welcome to hell on Earth and enjoy your stay.

"March of the Black Queen"(Running): Through the changing years, Jade is now a shadow of her former self. A victim of her frustrations and embodiments of anger; a dormant evil now lies awake within her, consuming and transforming her into the Queen of the Shadow Khan once again. The struggle between darkness and light just began.

"Webwork"(Running): Balance does not discriminate. The failure of successive dark champions present and future has created an imbalance in favor of the light. Thanks to the meddling of a fallen foe, Jade Chan will pay the price for another's tampering with destiny. Though heroes will rise yet again to face darkness, Jade has a stake in this conflict such as no dark foe before her. Post Season 5

"Shadow: Agent of Order"(Running): TheGunmaster joins the fray. After being nearly killed by Klarion, Jade Chan is rendered Half-Human, Half Shadowkhan. Taken under the wing of none other than Dr. Fate, she will become Shadow, a hero dedicated to hunting the monsters that hide in darkness. Enemies new and old rise, rivalries born, friendships made. And a destiny etched in both Light and dark will change everything. Rated T to be safe.

"Shards and Shadows"(Running): A story from newcomer Luna Bass. Tarakudo and his Queen escape to another dimension where they can live out their ambitions - the passage of time curses Kagami Yuu with the ability to reflect on what led her down this path. TW for identity crises and an unhealthy relationship.

Members:

D. J. Scales: This writer originally had an idea he wanted to suggest, but in the process found his own creativity taking hold of the idea. While new to the Dark Jade idea he is no stranger to the JCA fandom in his writing on this site.

PPH: The new rookie on the block. Who merely hopes people enjoy his stories.

Nocturne no Kitsune: The first one past the post with a story for this Project. He also comcieved Jade Dragon and the Crossover Project. Real life has forced him into a hiatus of indefinite length on all stories.

Eduard Kassel: Founder of Project Dark Jade, though it was only made real through the encouragement and input of Nocturne no Kitsune.

Zim'sMostLoyalServant: The stalwart beta that has worked with Nocturne and Kassel on their PDJ stories and more. An invaluable member of the PDJ team.

DigitalHazard: Rookie writer, just now posted the beginning of his first story.

MEMBER X: A new writer that has submitted a story idea and been approved. Wishes to remain anonymous until the story is ready to be posted.

Mengskhunter: Tired of the Addventure boards, he found the Dark Jade Project and wanted to follow their example and create a quality story.

CryptIXeeper:Rookie writer, found Project Dark Jade when he decided to remenice with Jackie Chan Adventures on fanfiction.

Chaotic9: Fan of Project Dark Jade for a long time that decided to create his own story for the project. Favorite JCA episode: Queen of the Shadowkhan

Vladimir Zhivanevskaya: Wanted to write a fanfiction, but had no ideas. Found the story adoption thread in the PDJ forum and was inspired to write out an idea thought up by an imaginative contributor.

balfang van claude: A fresh fan fic writer with a few OK stories hoping to get some love in his works. Inspired by remembering dreams, he does his best to make some good stories, chaotic some may be.

D4rK Sid3: A person that found that Jade as the Queen of the Shadow Khan had more than the potential to become something greater. He was in the process of creating his fic when he discovered PDJ and its fics. He is about to post his story after working on it for so long.

Trackula: Watched through the series on a whim and enjoyed it. Was inspired to do his own take on the Project with the aid of another talented writer, as well as drew artwork for other PDJ fiction.

TheGunmaster

Luna Bass

Have a Dark Jade idea? Send it to Eduard Kassel and you could join the Project as well! Spread the word.

Forum:

Project Dark Jade now has a forum.

Two threads to start off for the curious:

Q & A: This thread is for asking questions you don't mind being shown to the public. The rules for PDJ are also posted here.

Dark Jade Story Idea Adoption Thread: Lately people have been sending ideas they think have potential, but for whatever reason can't write them themselves. So this thread is the PDJ orphanage where these ideas go until someone can adopt them. We already have ideas posted, so check them out if you are interested or just curious.

Dark Jade Author Seeks Beta Thread: This thread is for authors who are inclined to beta read to touch bases with Dark Jade writers looking for betas.

FAVORITE QUOTES:

Invader Zim

"Obey the fist!"-Zim to some random classmate, Episode: 'Career Day'

"Go home and shave your big head of smell with your bad self!" "...Okay, there are all kinds of things wrong with what you just said."-Zim and Dib, Episode: 'Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars'

"I was the turkey all along!" "...I was wondering what that turkey was doing there."-GIR and Zim, Episode: 'Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars'

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! Do not deny my veins!"-Zim to the Tallest, Episode: 'The Nightmare Begins'

"I love you cold unfeeling robot arm!"-Zim in a flashback, Episode: 'Parent Teacher Night'

"All you ever talk about is aliens, and ghosts, and seeing Bigfoot in your garage." "...He was using the belt sander."-The Letter M and Dib, Episode: 'The Nightmare Begins'

"Your head smells like a puppy!"-GIR to Dib, Episode: 'Tak: the Hideous New Girl'

"Why is your head so big? Why is your head so BIG?!"-GIR to Dib, Episode: 'Door to Door'

"Weren't you banished to Foodcourtia? Shouldn't you be frying something?" "Oh, I quit when I heard about this." "You quit being banished?"-Tallest Purple and Zim, Episode: 'The Nightmare Begins'

"The Earth is safe! I did it, GIR - now let's go destroy it!"-Zim, Episode: 'Planet Jackers'

"Why was there bacon in the soap?!" "I made it myself!"-Zim and GIR, Episode: 'Rise of the Zit Boy'

"I was once a man." "But you're a woman."-Rat person and Dib, Episode: 'Game Slave 2'

"But one day, you’ll be sitting in your house feeling all safe and secure, and then you’ll look over and I’ll be there… doing stuff!"-Dib to Zim, Episode: 'Rise of the Zitboy'

"GIR! I've been captured!" "YAY!" "No, that's bad, GIR." "YAY!"-Zim and GIR, Episode: 'Attack of the Saucer Morons"

"Get your filthy alien meat out of the cockpit!"-Tak's ship to Dib, Episode: 'Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars'

"You have not heard the last of the Resisty! ...Yes, we're keeping that name."-Lard Nar, Episode: 'Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars'

"Put on this happy shugorb costume and fill the customer's hearts with joy!" "But it's filled with white hot grease..." "Makes you dance better! Now get going!" Sizz-Lorr and Zim, Episode: 'The Frycook What Came From All That Space'

"They took my squeezing arm! Why my squeezing arm?!"-Robo-Dad, Episode: 'Parent-Teacher Night'

"Quickly GIR! Ride the pig!"-Zim to GIR, Episode: 'Attack of the Saucer Morons'

"Arms... like... noodles!"-Dib, after Zim disables his arms, Episode: 'NanoZIM'

"Tell me a story about giant pigs."-GIR to Zim, Episode: 'Planet Jackers'

"Yay! I don't know what you just said!"-GIR, Episode: 'Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars'

"I put the fires out." "You made them worse." "Worse... or better?"-Zim and Tallest Red, Episode: 'The Nightmare Begins'

"Something's broken and it's not your fault?" "I know, I'm scared too."-Zim and GIR, Episode: 'Planet Jackers'

"Skoodge? I thought the Tallest killed you?" "Yeah, but I'm okay now."-Zim and Skoodge, Episode: 'Hobo 13'

Bionicle

"There are a thousand ways I could destroy you right now. And 941 of them hurt."-Teridax to Vakama, Bionicle Adventures #10: Time Trap

"Signed your name? You can't even spell your name!"-Chirox to Mutran during an argument, The Mutran Chronicles

"I prefer the term 'creative.' Though I suppose there really isn't much difference in the end..."-Karzhani after being called insane by Hahli, Bionicle Legends #2: Dark Destiny

"Sometimes, my brothers, the best way, the only way to win... is by losing."-Teridax to the rest of the Brotherhood, Into the Darkness

"You have to be insane to be a Toa at all. It's the first requirement for the job."-Helryx to Takanuva, Bionicle Legends #10: Swamp of Secrets

"Don't talk to me about fear, creature - I am fear!"-Zaktan to Irnakk, Bionicle Legends #5: Inferno

"Quite a collection. I prefer sea-shells, myself. Sometimes leaves. Oh, and the heads of my enemies, though those take up so much space."-Vezon to Tridax, Destiny War

"I don't get nightmares... I give them."-Teridax to Karzhani, Dreams of Destruction

"No longer must I fight you to rule a Universe. I AM the Universe!"-Teridax to the Toa Nuva after the completion of his Plan, Bionicle Legends #11: The Final Battle

"Good Kardas. Nice devastating monster. Are you my favorite engine of destruction? Yes you are."-Vezon to his steed, Bionicle Legends #5: Inferno

"Yes work. You know, that thing you do all day? The thing Takua is apparently allergic to?"-Jaller to Vakama, Bionicle Adventures #10: Time Trap

"Where wisdom and valor fail, all that remains is faith. And it can overcome all."-Tahu, Mata Nui Online Game

Transformers

"You want a piece of me? You want a piece?!" "No, I want two!"-Jazz and Megatron, 'Transformers (2007)'

"You're insane!" "So they say."-Tigerhawk and Tarantulas, 'Beast Wars' Episode: 'Other Victories'

"One shall stand, one shall fall."-Optimus Prime to Megatron, 'The Transformers: The Movie' and 'Transformers (2007)'

"I rise. You fall."-Optimus Prime upon defeating the Fallen, 'Revenge of the Fallen'

“It’s supposed to hurt. It's an ass-kickin’!”-Skids to Mudflap, 'Revenge of the Fallen'

"Where is Megatron?!" "Big scary guy? Didn't he turn into a fireball somewhere over Cleveland?"-Lugnut and Bumblebee, 'Transformers Animated' Episode: 'Lost And Found'

Pirates of the Caribbean

"I once sailed with a geezer who lost both his arms and part of his eye." "What did you call him?" "...Larry."-Jack and Gibbs, 'At World's End'

"The world used to be a bigger place." "The world's still the same... there's just less in it."-Barbossa and Jack, 'At World's End'

"You know you can't read." "It's the Bible. You get credit for trying."-Pintel and Ragetti, 'Dead Man's Chest'

"This is madness!" "This is politics."-Elizabeth and Jack, 'At World's End'

"You like pain? Try wearing a corset!"-Elizabeth to one of Barbossa's pirates, 'The Curse of the Black Pearl'

"Are we to be two immortals locked in epic battle until Judgement Day and trumpets sound?" "Or you could surrender."-Barbossa and Jack, 'The Curse of the Black Pearl'

"You're mad." "Thank goodness for that, otherwise this would probably never work."-Beckett and Jack, 'At World's End'

Doctor Who

"Allons-y, Alonzo!"-The Doctor, saying something he's always wanted to, Episode: 'Voyage of the Damned'

"Who looks at a screwdriver and goes 'that could be a little more sonic'?" "What? You've never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?"-Jack and the Doctor, Episode: 'The Doctor Dances'

"What's a horse doing on a spaceship?" "What's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!"-Mickey and the Doctor, Episode: 'Girl in the Fireplace'

"I'm the Doctor. Basically... run,"-The Doctor threatening the Atraxi, Episode: 'The Eleventh Hour'

"Go to hell,"-Rose to the Beast (who is, in essence, the Devil), Episode: 'The Satan Pit'

"I'm the bloody queen, mate. Basically... I rule,"-Liz 10 introducing herself to the Doctor, Episode: 'The Beast Below'

"Great big absorbing thing from outer space... and you're having a row at me?"-Elton to Rose, Episode: 'Love & Monsters'

"You owe Casanova a chicken?" "Long story, we had a bet,"-Rory and the Doctor, Episode: 'The Vampires of Venice'

"Don't drop the banana!" "Why?" "Good source of potassium!"-The Doctor and Jack, Episode: 'The Doctor Dances'

"I'm a Time Lord. You're a big fish. Think of the children,"-The Doctor to Signora Calvierri, Episode: 'The Vampire of Venice'

Misc. Movies and Shows

"Suck my ectoplasmic schwanstugel!"-Krauss to Manning, 'Hellboy II: The Golden Army'

"When might and magic work as one, a villain's plan can be undone."-Part of the 'Yin Yang Yo!' theme song

"It's time to show how real cops kick ass."-Sgt. Reed, 'RoboCop 3'

"Everything that has a beginning, has an end."-The Oracle to Neo, 'The Matrix Revolutions'

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned... I've sinned a lot."-Blackheart to a priest, 'Ghost Rider'

"I knew your sister - she was a homicidal bitch."-Alice to the White Queen, 'Resident Evil: Extinction'

"It's been said that science fiction and fantasy are two different things: science fiction the improbable made possible; fantasy, the impossible made probable."-Rod Serling, 'The Twilight Zone' Episode: 'The Fugitive'

"The devil, they say, having, so far, failed to destroy the human race with nuclear weapons, toxic waste, or elevator music, has finally devised his most cunning weapon: long term credit."-Narrator, 'The New Twilight Zone' Episode: 'The Card'

"I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!"-Lazarus, 'Tropic Thunder'

"I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!"-Lazarus, 'Tropic Thunder'

"I don't read the script, the script reads me." "...What the hell does that even mean?"-Lazarus and Sandusky, 'Tropic Thunder'

"Yippe-ki-ay, motherfucker!"-John McClane, 'Live Free or Die Hard'

"How many monsters must I slay?! Grendel's mother, father, Grendal's uncle - must I hack down an entire family tree of demons?!"-Beowulf to King Hrothgar, 'Beowulf'

"They say Chuck Norris is so tough, there's no chin under his beard. There is only another fist."-Peter, 'Family Guy' Episode: 'Boys Do Cry'

"Die, you mummy bastards! Die!" "There is no call for bad language!"-Jonathan and Mad Dog, 'The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor'

"You'll regret this." "Maybe. But until then I'll stick with my original thought, which is 'shut the hell up'."-Vice-President Kinsey and President Hayes, 'Stargate SG-1' Episode: 'Lost City Part 2'

"By the authority vested in me, sanctioned by moi, I hereby presume this seaworthy vessel the esteemed... uhm... S.S. Mutant Almost A Chicken Duck?"-Double D, 'Ed, Edd n Eddy' Movie: 'Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show'

"Captain, what are you doing?" "Showing them compassion. It may be the only way to earn peace with Romulus. It's logic, Spock, I thought you'd like that." "No, not really. Not this time."-Spock and Kirk, 'Star Trek'

"You don't have to believe in your government to be a good American. You just have to believe in your country."-President Bush, 'Harold & Kumar: Escape From Guantanamo Bay'

"Get away from her you bitch!"-Ripley to the Alien Queen, 'Aliens'

"Hey man, my pops always said, the quickest way to a woman's heart is through church." "Actually, it's through the ribcage, but that's a bit messy."-Julius and Maximillian, 'Vampire in Brooklyn'

"American components, Russian components - all made in Taiwan!"-Lev, 'Armageddon'

"Religion is flawed. But only because Man is flawed."-Cardinal Strauss to Langdon, 'Angels & Demons'

"I need your help." "Last time you needed my help, I woke up in a truck."-Isabella and Lee, 'Rush Hour 2'

"Any problem on Earth can be solved with the proper application of high explosives."-Col. Mertz von Quirnheim, 'Valkyrie'

Real World Quotes

“I have firmly resolved to bite the dust when my time comes, with a minimum of medical assistance, and up to then I will sin to my wicked heart’s content.” -Albert Einstein

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” -Napoleon Bonaparte

“Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.” -G.K. Chesterton

“A true friend stabs you in the front.” -Oscar Wilde

"I think Earth, if chosen instead of Heaven, will turn out only like a region of Hell, but when Earth is put SECOND to Heaven, then you realize from the very beginning… it has been a part of Heaven itself." –C.S Lewis

"Blades never need reloading."-Max Brooks, in his book The Zombie Survival Guide

"Yes, pandas are evil. Anything that lazy must be a fascist."-Micheal68 in a review for "HIVEMinded" (technically a real world quote since an actual person said it)

“Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy, the mad daughter of a wise mother. These daughters have too long dominated this world.” -Voltaire

"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff."-Anonymous (and since I have cats, I have to agree)

"A victory won through violence is tantamount to defeat, because it is only temporary."-Gandhi

"The pen is mightier than the sword."-Anonymous

"I'm a momma's boy; I pity the fool who ain't one!"-Mr. T

"If you cannot win with grace, lose with glory."-Anonymous

"Power corrupts. Knowledge is power. Study hard. Be evil."-Mark Twain

"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."-Friedrich Nietzsche

"The Devil can cite the Scriptures for his purpose; but the eternal true devil can cite the Simpsons for his purpose."-Roger Carasso

"The man who lives by the sword, gets shot by the man who doesn't."-Anonymous

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."-Arthur C. Clarke

"Any sufficiently advanced alien is indistinguishable from God."-Corollary to the above

"There is no such thing as Good Knowledge or Evil Knowledge. There is only Knowledge. Morality is when you decide not to use it."-Anonymous

"Do not call up what you cannot put down."-H.P. Lovecraft

"I'm headed for Purgatory when I die. Heaven won't take me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."-Anonymous

"Half a truth is a whole lie."-Yiddish proverb

"If you want peace, prepare for war."-Latin proverb

"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."-Winston Churchill

COPY AND PASTE SECTION:

If you are obsessed with Invader Zim, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you prefer villains over heroes, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think villians rock and are da bomb, copy and paste this into your profile!

I am a member of DRSUF: Doctor/Rose Shippers as a United Front.

I am a member of SFFS: Sci-Fi Fanatic's Society.

If you think that Flame Rising needs to get a life and quit bitchin about other people's works, put this in your profile.

If you LOVE cats more than dogs, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you almost always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile: Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, Zim'sMostLoyalServant.

If you want Invader Zim to come back, copy and paste this into your profile and sign your name: RulerofFire, MyWhiteLady, Invader Nyx, Serentochan, Zim'sMostLoyalServant.

If you think the people at Nickelodeon are morons for canceling Invader Zim in the first place, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you DON'T post your opinions about homosexuality/racism/feminism/animal rights/etc. onto your profile, and are kind of annoyed by people who do, copy and paste this apolitical message into your profile and sign your name: JoeMerl, Zim'sMostLoyalServant

If you think Tak from Invader Zim is awesome, even though she's evil, copy and paste this into your profile and sign your name: Lunadoll419, JoeMerl, Zim'sMostLoyalServant

If you think "mpreg" is disgusting and sick and wrong, copy and paste this into your profile, then add your name to the list: Ankaara666, JoeMerl (Oh, come on, you all know it is. Not that that makes any story with it unreadable.), Zim'sMostLoyalServant

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, WanderingTeen, Erik's Muse, comix-freak, the epitome of randomness, Yessie55, Zim'sMostLoyalServant

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, StarDragon411, Mystic Katt, TrueThinker, Softballgirl9411, Witchdoctor42, crocgirl2815, mewmewice, RulerofFire, Grogie13, Zim'sMostLoyalServant.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both... copy and paste this on your profile

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, and you're getting tired of the people who are, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

If everytime you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, put this on your profile!

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE VERY NICE PEOPLE WHO HELPED SAVANNAH RE-DO HER PROFILE PAGE, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE PAGE!

If you are a Bionicle fan and really don't care that Matoro died and think that people should stop bitching about it and comparing him to real life heroes so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a fan of 'Yin Yang Yo!' and were disappointed with the episode "Welcome to the Dark Tomorrow", copy and paste this into your profile page.

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you believe in doing what you love, no matter what other people might think, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If your currently trying to take over the world, copy this into your profile.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ship too many pairings but don't care, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against character bashing, even of the characters that you yourself dislike, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love animals as much as I do, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you think Invader Zim should kick Sponge Bob's yellow square ass post this in your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile.

If you have a lot of fanfic ideas in your head but are unable to bring yourself to write them, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

If your part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

Even when you can't see Him, God is there. If you believe in God put this in your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to SLUG them, put this in your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile.

If you feel that half your day is spent being bored copy this onto your profile.

!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you can't stop putting these things on your profile, copy and paste this to your profile!

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype that fits you and highlight:

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.

I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.

I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a big DICK.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I think STRING ORCHESTRA is better than band, therefore I MUST be an out-of-date geek.

I like to READ, so I MUST do nothing except read.

I don't think VEGETARIANISM makes much sense, so I MUST think all vegetarians are hippies.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I don't like YAOI/YURI so I MUST be a homophobe.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.

I have ASPERGER SYNDROME so I MUST be a reclusive weirdo.

I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.

I'm CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST hate gay people.

I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I SPOT AND CORRECT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop, POST THIS.

Congrats! You made it to the fanfictions! If you have an extremely long profile, copy and paste this to the bottom of it!