honeyshoshana
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Joined 09-10-07, id: 1373330, Profile Updated: 08-29-15
Author has written 7 stories for Maximum Ride, Mortal Instruments, and Sherlock.

Hi! This is your author, SunshineRosesAndDEATH speaking! Sunny doesn't know what she should put here, so she is just doing... THIS! -exploding weasel- Oops! The Authoress wishes to apologize to whom-so-ever's weasel that was.

Sunny is now fourteen years old, likes chocolate (a lot!) and lives west of the Alleghenies, north of the Little Miami, and east of the Dairy Queen. She likes fashion, writing and and talking about herself in the third person, which she does to great critical acclaim.

Favorite books: Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, Georgia Nicolson, Artemis Fowl, Bard Academy, Alex Rider. Since the Authoress doesn't wish to be typing here all day, she will stop listing now. The A-list, Barb and Dingbats Crybaby Hotline, pretty much all Shakespeare...THE AUTHORESS WILL STOP NOW! Mediator, Bloody Jack, Emily Dickenson...

Favorite music: In no particular order: Three Days Grace, Avril Lavigne, Stone Sour, Papa Roach, Nirvana, Paramore, Nickleback, CAKE, Evanescence, Gwen Stefani, Natasha Bedingfield, Taylor Swift, We the Kings, the Dollyrots, Breaking Benjamin, Saliva, Innocent Commotion and a lot more that the Authoress can't think of right now.

The Authoress would like to add that she only owns her mind, 206 bones, and the right to free speech, none of which are removable. Nothing else, except for twenty seven freakin pairs of cute shoes (and now she's having trouble storing them and she might have to throw some away and she would be so sad 'cause she loves her shoes muchly- uh, anyway!).

The Authoress would like to observe that stories with Fang in the title or summary get far more hits and reviews than other stories that are as good and this makes Sunny sad. So she would like to request that you, Readerly Person, read her much under-read story Everything's Normal In Beardland because she thinks it might be her favorite and no one has read it! -bambi eyes-

The Authoress favorite ships are

Max\Fang

Lily\James

Harry\Ginny

Harry/Hermione (Sunny knows that it's not freakin canon but she doesn't care. SO HA!)

Favorite Quotes

Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes"-Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports.

You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers-Fang from Maximum Ride

"Man, you weigh a freaking ton! What have you been eating, rocks?"

"Why," I croaked. "Is your head missing some?"-Max and Fang, MR1

"It's such a cliche! Why do baddies always want to rule the world?"

"Deep seated emotional insecurity masquerading as a superiority complex?" ~Middleworld. I think

"What are you doing here, anyway?"

"'Here' as in your bedroom or 'here' as in the great spiritual question of our purpose here on this planet? If you're asking whether it's all just a cosmic coincidence or there's a greater meta-ethical purpose to life, well, that's a puzzler for the ages. I mean, simple ontological reductionism is clearly a fallacious argument, but-"

"I'm going back to bed." Clary reached for the doorknob.

~The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, page 307

"Max: THE PENGUINS HAVE TEAMED UP WITH THE TANGERINE BUNNYS FROM ICELAND! THEY'RE GOING TO SHOOT SCENTED TSHIRTS AT US!

Fang: -twitches and collapses on floor- "-If Max got drunk on eggnog, by firefly63. Vair funny!

Do you not know I am a woman? When I think, I must speak!- As You Like It, by William Shakespeare.

"Girls aren't people! Girls are speshul!" my friend Tessa

"Kill Kill

Maim Hate,

Murder-Mangle-Mutilate!~ME!

"I want to escape from Insanity, but it has a firm hold on my small intestine." ~Rosie

"BALLIN!" my bestie Emily

"Wink wink nudge nudge cough kick in the balls." My friend Leah

"But we don't haAve a baker!" Rachel. Looooong story

"So you put the pickle between the buns?" Sam. She's perverted.

"So that's the way it's going with John, huh? You know that book Ben's (my little brother) reading?"

"Yep."

"Maybe it's like that."

"And how exactly is that?"

You know how Thelma cheats Francis out of the tea set?"

(No joke, those are their names)

"Yes, I remember."

"Maybe John only wants to be half a boyfriend."

"Huh?"

"Maybe you should tell him you either want to be Boyfriend and Girlfriend or Not Anything."

"And this relates to Thelma and Louise how?"

-sigh-

"Louise hides the dime in the tea set, right? And then Thelma wants it back 'cause she doesn't know what she's missing?"

"Yes, yes"

"Maybe that's what should happen."

"I should hide a dime in my tea set?"

-pause-

"Did that sound vaguely dirty?"

"Yes."

"Uh, anyway! What were you saying?"

"I was saying... oh forget it."

"Did you forget?"

Yes.

-rolls eyes- ~That's me and my mom talking about boys. You can see why I ask my friends for advice instead of her. XD

"I'm a blueberry muffin! Shoot me with a walrus and hang me on your wall!" ~ME!

"In some situations, only profanity can really express how you feel inside. So, -bleeep- -bleeeep- -bleeeeeeeep-!" Me again. I do say clever things sometimes.

Harry: I like a quiet life, you know me.

Fred and George: "Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy--"

"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."

Percy scowled.

"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.

"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you--"

Ron: Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?

Ginny:"The thing about growing up with Fred and George," said Ginny thoughtfully, "is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve."

Ron: What in the name of Merlin's most baggy Y-fronts was that about?

Harry: I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me!

You know there's something wrong with your life if the contents of your mind are being forwarded around the dinner table.- Me in my soon to be posted fanfic.

When life give you lemons, make apple juice then laugh as everyone tries to figure out what the hell you did.

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If you are pretty much exactly like Max, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those stupid copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

SunshinerosesandDEATH doth proclaim 'go forth and conquer into the wild regions of Sunny's mind. Forgeteth not to REVIEWeth

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Malevolent Manipulations by MiyaChama reviews
Hera, bored and vengeful, makes a bet with the Dark Lord Hades. If he can seduce and ruin naive Artemis, then Hera will grant him his desire- 1 night with her. But Hades also wants to make the stubbornly virtuous Persephone his greatest conquest. Game on!
Greek Mythology - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 28,521 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 3/8/2009 - Hades, Hera
Emmett's 16 fun things to do in an elevator! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Emmett discovers a list so magical, he beleives it was created by unicorns! He must complete this list! 16 days, 16 fun things to do in an elevator. What could go wrong?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 31,469 - Reviews: 856 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 5/5/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Emmett - Complete
No Words are Needed by turquoise.seas reviews
-FAX- "Her beautiful face was white as a sheet, but she stubbornly locked her jaw against crying out." Fang and Max have to find their way back home after the fight.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,845 - Reviews: 397 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 12/15/2009 - Published: 8/31/2007
25 Ways to Annoy HP Characters! by pshhhh yeahh reviews
Just what the title says. Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 15 - Words: 4,708 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 11/30/2009 - Published: 11/3/2007
Enigmatical by wired2damoon reviews
As I stared up into his beautiful hazel eyes, I did the first thing that came to mind, not even stopping for one second to think of how incredibly, one hundred per cent, utterly stupid it was. I kissed him. QuilxClaire, JacobxNessie, EmbryxOC. Post BD
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 98,141 - Reviews: 533 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 6/5/2009 - Published: 9/6/2008 - Claire, Quil Jr.
Serena Sparklypoo and the Goblet of Fire by SortingHat007 reviews
Wanting to change the course of Harry's life, a young fanfiction author has a brilliant idea. Send the absolutely perfect Mary-Sue Serena Sparklypoo to Hogwarts! Nothing can possibly go wrong. Or so she thinks...*I do not own Harry Potter, JKR does*
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,711 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/21/2008 - Published: 2/26/2008
The Playlist by piperchick reviews
Max discovers a secret of Fang's on his computer. FAX changed TWO SHOT
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,365 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/1/2008 - Published: 10/21/2007
The Hufflepuff Who Dared by Scorpion29 reviews
A fun little oneshot that occurs when one lone Hufflepuff dares to go against all the traditions stating that she should not be bold, daring, witty or courageous. Set in the Marauder era, very slight hinted Sev/OC onesided.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,961 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/31/2008 - OC, Severus S. - Complete
God Rest ye Merry Gryffindor by Historybuff1536 reviews
Ginny's chastity has come under question and that can mean only one thing: The Weasley brothers want to kill Harry. What's Harry going to do, with six Weasley men trying to kill him? And why does Ginny think she's doomed? This story is Ginny's POV.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,278 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 2/3/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Why Canon and Fanon Don't Mix by alsdssg reviews
What happens when Eragon and his friends come across a Mary Sue fan fic? Why, pure chaos, that's what. Please R & R.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 88,739 - Reviews: 1140 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/2/2008 - Published: 1/16/2007
Dazed and Confused by TheSmartypants reviews
For StepOnMe. Chaos ensues when Max and Iggy accidentally switch bodies. Max struggles with being blind, Iggy discovers the joys of being a girl, and Fang gets very confused... [Fax] CHAPTER THREE IS UP!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,610 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 9/8/2007 - Published: 4/30/2007
An Affliction Most Grave by Zetaseal reviews
Harry finds yet another reason for the question, Why me? This may be his 100th reason to date, if he bothered to keep count.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 310 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/23/2006 - Complete
Plant Food by Pooca reviews
Harry saves Ginny from a dangerous and life-threatening Herbology detention...alright, maybe not so dangerous and life-threatening as...vaguely scary and somewhat unsafe. But still. Almost-nearly-certain peril. At least.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,676 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/18/2004 - Ginny W., Harry P.
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The Painter, the Whore, and the Murderer reviews
La belle Paris, in 1877. Sherlock goes undercover as a Parisian prostitute to catch a particularly brutal murderer. John is an Impressionist searching for a muse. When Sherlock overdoses on absinthe and John nurses him back to health, they agree to a business arrangement. Sherlock will model for John, and John will take care of Sherlock.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,420 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 1/5/2014 - Published: 12/4/2013 - Sherlock H., John W.
Mortal Fools! reviews
Tired of depressing angst/romance fics that seem like the standard for MI? It's the one and only parody of CoB! Contains bizarre references, snarkiness, insults, gag jokes, Edward Cullen, and randomness, besides the mockable Real Plot. Script format
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,962 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 4/2/2009 - Published: 1/9/2009
Things you will never hear the Maximum Ride charac reviews
Things you will never hear Maximum Ride Characters say. Pretty self explanatory. Fang: And she was like, no way, and then I was all like ohmigod totally and she was like... Max: Ah! I broke a nail! sobsobsob. Now with all new conversations!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,085 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 12/4/2008 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Complete
Ultimate Doom, or, The Mall reviews
Nudge needs a bra. This sets off a whole chain of unfortunate events, including lots of Faxness. Drama and idiocy occur. Romance, humor, jealousy, despair, Abercrombie, and Bizarrely Orange People are all included in this astonishingly odd fic by Sunny!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,781 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 11/12/2008 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Complete
The Ultimate CrackFic reviews
This is love like you've never seen it before. Includes True Love, imagined snogging, and sickening declarations of said True Love. Warning: You may be scarred for life after reading this. You have been warned.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 974 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Complete
The Angst of a Teddy Bear reviews
Celeste spills all about her hopes, dreams, pet peeves and what's this? A secret crush? CelAri.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 685 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Complete
Fang becomes a man! reviews
Fang looked into the mirror and gulped. This was it. The big day. Today was the day he would become a man! Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 538 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/6/2008 - Complete