Metruis
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Joined 09-15-07, id: 1377048, Profile Updated: 09-11-08
Author has written 3 stories for Star Wars.

I am now the fanfiction mod on Jedi.net! Feel free to show up and post your Star Wars or really, any other sort of writing you have. We're open to any fandoms and original work. Anything to spice things up!

ABOUT ME:

I used to be Tiana Calthye/Eowyn Skywalker but can't be bothered to figure out what my password is. Heh. I am the evil genius behind the webcomic, Between Places, set as my homepage. You should most certainly feel free to read it.

Anyway, I'm a constructive reviewer. If you're here to flame me because I insulted your story, please realize--I do not flame. I give advice. I don't claim to be an amazing writer by any means, but I'm not that bad either. But I do claim to have improved. I don't try insult people. If you take my comments as a personal insult, that's your own problem. I suggest you try look at anything I say objectively and apply it. It will help. If, for example, I tell you that you hooked me and I read on that doesn't mean I thought badly of your work. It means I looked at it as an editor (I'm considering that line of work too) and thought 'I liked this. I'll keep reading'. And I'm picky. That means a lot.

You can only ever get better. Strive to improve. Be the best writer you can be. And as painful as my comments might be, that's all I want for you--that you can be the best writer you can be. There's a lot of bad fanfiction out there and I would love to see that stipulation leave. I've read some great fanfic. And I know you, dear fanficcers, can improve if you put your mind to it. By all means, write your alternate universe pairings and turn Star Wars characters into animals and put yourself into LotR land and make your pitiful Mary Sues with uber powers and... and... whatever it is you do that's deemed badfic! I won't stop you, or even try. But make it the BEST you can make it.

As a writer, I mainly write AU Star Wars fanfic. As a reader, I read almost anything and pretend it's original. I think a good fanfic will make readers believe in those characters.

My fandoms are Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, Kingdom Hearts, the Matrix, Final Fantasy X and VII, and Death Note. Doesn't stop me from reading everything else when I'm in the mood--if you want true and honest criticism, contact me. XD (Oh yeah, I also like original fiction...)

Star Wars: Where the Eyes Open - "theatrical trailer" (not to worry, the story itself is not in script... thiiiis is a preview...)
--

The screen goes DARK.

Blue text ripples up onto the screen, echoed by the narrator.

FEMALE NARRATOR (EMPRESS DAILYN) (V.O.)
The eyes will open.

INT. IMPERIAL PALACE - AFTERNOON

A pair of eyes snap open. Pan out to reveal ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

EMPRESS DAILYN (O.S.)
Every day, we draw closer to extinquishing the Jedi race from the face of the galaxy. We willl wipe this scum away with one final blow!

(O.S.) A CHEER is heard. Anakin steps out of the shadows, lightsaber in hand, eyes frantic and haunted. His brown robes are tattered and worn. He creeps through the halls towards a set of transparent, wraith-like curtains and whips them aside, revealing a balcony and the EMPRESS.

He presses his lightsaber to the side of the Empress's head.

A GASP rises up from the crowd. A cry is heard. "ASSASSIN!" "GUARDS!"

EMPRESS DAILYN
So... at last the Jedi reveal themselves.

She vanishes a moment before his thumb touches the ignitor. His blue beam springs to life, but there is nothing there.

He is shoved over with a blast of the Force, two Sith guards TEARING his saber away, and pinning him down. One knocks him heavily over the head, slapping stuncuffs around his wrists as the other takes the lightsaber and gives it a look of disgust.

GUARD #2
Obsolete technology.

He passes it to one of the Empress's HANDMAIDENS. The handmaidens wear HUGE, all encompassing blue robes that cover black bodysuits. All that can be seen of the handmaiden is her thin red lips. Her eyes are hidden by goggles, as are all the handmaidens.

GUARD #2
Destroy it.

SCREEN GOES TO BLACK

Blue words again swim up.

NARRATOR, EMPRESS DAILYN (V.O.)
But the eyes are still closed.

Pan out, through the ROYAL GARDENS, over the FOUNTAINS and through the SPRAY OF MIST.

MALE VOICE (V.O.)
And what do we do with the captured Jedi, your Highness?

Pan into a MUSEUM, a HOLOGRAM, a LIGHTSABER and some ANCIENT ROBES on display. A sign reads SURVIVING ARTIFACTS FROM NABOO.

EMPRESS DAILYN (V.O.)
Have him kil...no.
(a beat)
He may yet be of some use alive. Have him SUBDUED.

MALE VOICE (V.O.)
As you wish. Heh heh.

Screen goes black.

NARRATOR, EMPRESS DAILYN (V.O.)
But we WILL find them.

WORDS appear on screen.

WHERE THE EYES OPEN

Coming soon to a forum near you.

Theme music goes quiet. Cut to--

INT. JEDI TEMPLE - NIGHT

Obi-Wan sits up in bed, eyes wide. He wears a black tunic. He glances over to check the time. Pan across the clock, which reads 4:03, and into the black between the numbers to show:

WHERE THE EYES OPEN
NOW PLAYING AT A FORUM NEAR YOU

Starring Anakin Skywalker as Anakin Skywalker, "Ben" Kenobi as Obi-Wan, Yoda as himself and featuring Dailyn Faldoes as the EMPRESS.
This feature is rated PG-13 for violence, action sequences, mild language and angst.

NOW PLAYING TEASER TRAILER for "Where the Eyes Open".

BLACK SCREEN

ANAKIN SKYWALKER (V.O.)
Damn! Damn, damn... damn!

Fade in to show Anakin Skywalker wearing standard Jedi clothes, pacing the interior of a cell. Bars seperate his from other cells--he is not in isolation.

ANAKIN
I hate you all! You hear that?! I hate you all!

The DOOR SLIDES OPEN. Hands bound behind his back, OBI-WAN KENOBI is shoved into the cell.

GUARD
(laughs)
Little bit "DARK SIDE", don't you think, Jedi? Here's a cell mate to keep you company!

Obi-Wan hits the ground. Anakin catches him without thinking as the door is slammed shut.

ANAKIN
(swears)
Kriffing guards.
(pats Obi-Wan's face)
Hey. Sith. Wake up.

Obi-Wan sputters a bit as he comes back to.

OBI-WAN
...S-sith?

Blue words swim up onto the screen:
IMAGINE.
A WORLD NOTHING LIKE YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.
IMAGINE.

EXT. CORUSCANT ROOFTOPS

Clip: Obi-Wan plummets into the mist.

Words again:
WATCHING YOURSELF DIE.

INT. THE JEDI TEMPLE

Clip: Anakin walking into his room, suddenly grabbed from behind.

EMPRESS DAILYN (V.O.)
The Jedi cannot hide forever.

INT. IMPERIAL PALACE CHAMBERS

Clip: Two handmaidens walk down the hall. One of them falls, hit by a poison dart.

PADME
No!

Words again:
WATCHING YOUR FRIENDS DIE.

EXT. IMPERIAL GARDENS, NEAR A FOUNTAIN

Clip: QUI-GON JINN and TANON YOUNG dash after a lightsaber-wielding intruder. Zoom past him to reveal that he is OBI-WAN KENOBI.

MALE (V.O.)
Your Highness! The Jedi! We've found them!

EMPRESS DAILYN (V.O.)
Excellent.

Obi-Wan stumbles. His lightsaber is wretched from his hand by Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon looks BETRAYED.

QUI-GON
I trusted you.

Fade to black. Words swim up.
YOUR WORLD DIE.

Cut through clips quickly.

CLIP 1: Anakin falls down stairs, crashing into PADME.
CLIP 2: A blaster bolt cuts past Obi-Wan.
CLIP 3: A handmaiden, lightsaber held to her throat by a dark figure.
CLIP 4: Yoda, spinning to meet another fighter in combat.
CLIP 5: A dark figure, striding into the archives.
CLIP 6: Tatooine, a male Jedi and a female Sith stand, lightsabers at their sides, neither in combat.

FEMALE SITH
We cannot rebuild both our orders.

MALE JEDI
(kneels before her)
Then make your choice.

Fade to black.

PADME (V.O.)
Imagine... what if the truth is wrong... what if everything we've ever believed is wrong, Anakin...

TITLE SCREEN

STAR WARS
WHERE THE EYES OPEN

Now playing at a forum near you.

I'm on DeviantArt as calthyechild and I do NaNoWriMo every year. I encourage everyone to do it. (NaNoWriMo.org)

Definitions of terms I use:
POV- point of view
MC- main character (FMC- female main)
Limited third- writing in third person from only one person's POV per scene.
Omnipotent third/headhopping- skipping around in POVs.
AU- Alternate universe
EU- Extended universe

Reading and reviewing random "just in" fanfics since... uh... whenever I joined with this account.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

There Are Some Things That Just Can't Be Undone by Anakin T Skywalker reviews
A very sad Revenge of the Sith AU. Anakin has stopped Order 66 and turned himself in to the Jedi. What will they do with him?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,471 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/21/2007 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K. - Complete
Whistling in the Dark by furrylittlebantha reviews
Mara Jade has a chat with the Empire’s prize prisoner. ESB AU. LM angst. oneshot
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,851 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/5/2007 - Luke S., Mara Jade
Autumn's Game by Tiana Calthye reviews
A freelance investigator in Coruscant's lower levels, Orlin Wells is hired by a now dead woman to find a kidnapped Kuati child. Sent off with the presumed brother of the missing girl, is there enough time to find the girl before someone else is murdered?
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,947 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 10/26/2006 - Published: 5/13/2006
Waking Dream by Tiana Calthye reviews
An angsty and semiAU Vader vignette. Haunted by his past, Vader's thoughts bring him from memories of the Jedi, to Padmé's death, and an inner discussion with his old Master within a waking dream.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,657 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/11/2006 - Darth Vader, Obi-Wan K. - Complete
Tatooine Engagement by Audreidi reviews
One small delay on a Master's part is enough to change his Padawan forever. Chapter Thirteen: the delving into memories that are perhaps unwanted. An AU piece.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 62,825 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/4/2005 - Published: 5/15/2004 - Obi-Wan K.
The Water's Edge by obaona reviews
Mostly about Obi-Wan Kenobi (massive Obi-angst), but it has just 'bout everyone else too. Part 16 - COMPLETED. Yay! We're done!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 123,891 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/31/2005 - Published: 11/10/2002 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Where the Eyes Open reviews
Wake up where the Jedi hide--where the eyes open. Where the Sith seek to control dimensions beyond their own. Where the Force is a tool and the light side a laugh. Where Obi-Wan must now live, if he wants to save his own universe from distruction. AU.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,313 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 2/18/2011 - Published: 10/3/2007 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker
The Empire in Me reviews
A stormtrooper on board the Death Star has second thoughts.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,133 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/11/2011
Wounded reviews
Apoque chased him to Sullust, where she knew one of them would die: either the Jedi or the darkness...she was wrong -- The story of two Jedi, of love, of the dark side and betrayal, of a battle and two Jedi fighting with their darkness. OCs, oneshot.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,986 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/17/2008 - Complete