Author has written 2 stories for Transformers/Beast Wars.
I'm a pilot. Into TF. Write fiction/humor. That's all.
The following essay my sister submitted to a forum explains how we feel. Don't like it? Too bad.
Let's get one thing straight: Transformers are not gay. Period. In any universe or continuity.
Megatron and Starscream do not get it on. Optimus Prime is not a member of NAMBLA. Thundercracker and Skywarp are not trying to outdo Inferno and Red Alert in a contest to see who is the gayest.
What's more, there is no bestiality, Beast Mode and the Dinobots notwithstanding. Bumblebee and Sam do NOT get all hot and bothered when Ironhide suggests joining in; in fact, Ironhide's more likely to blast them away in order to put them out of their misery.
Forget that whole Alexis/Armada story line or that ridiculous Pretenders crap-the writers were smoking crack and LSD.
At the same time.
I heard they committed suicide when they sobered up. To the eternal relief of their families and a grateful public.
One thing the Transformers are definitely not into is experimental sex; in fact, they're not into sex, at least, not the kind we know. They're robots. That's right, robots. Say it: The Transformers are robots.
They probably fire up a pleasure chip or interface with each other's processors when they get busy with their girls. Or something. Something robotic. Not human. Anyone who says otherwise is depraved, insane or has undergone an old-fashioned lobotomy-or all three.
Also, no Decepticon ever uses the word love, as in "Skyfire! You love me? Why, I love you too! ".
Again, Starscream is NOT gay! Just because he had a friend a few million years ago who disappeared on a camping trip does not make him the Oscar Wilde or Richard Simmons of the Decepticons. He felt guilty about leaving him behind but there was nothing he could do about it. He moved on and apparently, got over it pretty fast since he became the number two Decepticon in the universe.
Get it through your sick, degenerate minds: Starscream is not gay. If you keep saying he is, I hope he comes to life and blasts you with his null ray. I'd help him.
God, I would really love to help him.
By the way, no Decepticon ever uses the word love unless he's saying something like "You know what? I love destroying Autobots" or "I love the sound humans make when I crush them between my fingers" or "The best tasting energon I know and love is the stolen kind".
Megatron loves kicking ass, not looking at it.
Unless it's a female Transformer's, in which case he's getting ready to hit it, then tells her to leave when he's done. He's got real business to take care of, like taking over the universe. When that's accomplished, they'll be plenty of time for females. First things first.
In fact, the Decepticons are the players of the universe. That's right, they get more action in one day than the Autobots get in a lifetime. Anyone saying otherwise is a player hater.
When Elita and her girls want to get their worlds rocked, think they sneak onto the Space Bridge and lookup Optimus and the gang? Hell no!
They keep an optic out for Starscream and his boys.They know how to have a good time. Not like those boring, goody-goody Autobots, always going on and on about doing the right thing.
A Decepticon never does the right thing. That's who they are. They're the bad asses of the universe. And that's why the female Autobots sneak out to meet them behind their boyfriend's back.
When the fliers show up, they know how to party. They know how jump the right circuits.
They know how to sent a girl into overload. They get down and nasty.
Why do you think Arcee was missing from the first two seasons? She was too busy running with her crew, the Decepticon crew. She was back at the crib waiting for them to come back and when they did, you know she was more than willing to let them know how much she missed them.
Except Ultra Magnus put a stop to it. Like he was her dad or something.
When Elita's with Prime, who must be as boring as they come, making the same, tired moves every single time, you know that deep in her logic board, she shuts down and starts thinking about what it would be like to be with Megatron instead. Or Thrust. Or Ramjet. Or even Bruticus.
Anyone who thinks the Transformers (particularly Decepticons) are gay or would ever feel need to poke a human being is a moron.
Or needs a visit from Menasor.