Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.
WARNING: RATED V. FOR VAMPIRE.
some of the following content may be unsuitable for humans.
KINKY - He took one look at its red eyes and snow-white fur and screamed like a girl, “Oh My God! It’s a vampire!” he screeched, “Alice, is that even allowed?” he asked in a hushed tone, staring intentionally at their surroundings.' REVIEW!
LOVE LETTERS? PSSH MORE LIKE SIBLING RIVALRY - Edward and Alice battle it out as they write and respond to witty letters from each other -well WE like to think they are witty- and aim to outsmart each other... R&R
PLEASE DON'T SLEEP ON MY JASPER! - The love-hate relationship between our two favourite vegetarian vampires.. ALICE WHITLOCK and EDWARD CULLEN.. dun. Dun. DUNNNNNN.. VIA EMAIL -insert crazed laughter here- :D
COMING SOON STORIES:
KILLING ALICE - A series of diary entries as Edward fantasises the many possible ways there are of killing, exterminating, extinguishing, disposing, farewelling his favourite sister Alice when she decides to use her visions against him. Traintracks, electric currents and a whole lot of other disasters.
SECRET NOTES IN HISTORY - When Alice and Edward sit next to each other in Modern History, only they know how to transform historical events into humorous stupid affairs that, of course, involve a certain two writers of secret notes. "What makes you think I like your 'special eyes'? They worked wonders on Rasputin, however you Edward- well I forget you are the one and only."
The name's Cullen, Alice and Edward Cullen -strikes James Bond poses-
-bursts into hysterical laughter-
Age: Edward: "oh i've lived a fair few years..."
Alice: "haha we're so old that if someone told us to act our age we would die." =P
Height: Edward: -laughs and points at Alice- "ohh dear sister i heard theres a midget convention in Seattle next week..."
Eye Colour: Edward: "pure golden" -smug look-
Alice: "psshh dont flater yourself brother, MY EYES ARE RAINBOW! every colour of the rainbow (except red)
im oh so mythical..."
Blood Type: "blood?! what? where?" -licks lips yummo-
Mental State: -hears ambulance sirens-
Alice: -crazed eyes-
"YOU"LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!"
-draws out axe and smashes window-
-runs into the sunset laughing like a crazy person-
Edward: "ummmm honey... you're already dead."
Alcohol Level: Alice: -coughEdwardYouAlcoYou-
Diet: Edward: "unfortunately BOML is not on the cafeteria menu."
Alice: "BOML?? as in blood of mountain lion. jeez you are like two years too late in rad abbreviations."
Edward: "RAD?? now who's abbreviating. what does that stand for?? rent-a-dinosaur??"
Alice: "no little bro. as in rad is the new way of saying cool because its not cool to say cool."
Edward: "and i thought I was the mind reader. well my talents competely r-a-d."
Alice: -death stare- "you could at least try to fit in!!"
Edward: "we ell elllllll sorry miss i-sneak-into-the-cupboard-with-jasper-lucky-edwards-not-here-to-read-our-minds..."
"cane toad??" -interested expression- "how does that work??"
Talents: Edward: - reads alice's mind- "no alice, that is not appropriate to mention here."
Alice: -huffs- "fine. spoilsport." -sees edward sniffing bellas underwear in the near future-
"and you think i'm kinky? "
Edward: "kinky?" -eyebrows furrow- "refresh my memory.."
Alice: "Edward! or should i say, Sex Ed!
YOU ARE SUCH A PRUDE YOU KNOW THAT??
I HEARD THERES A PRUDE CONVENTION IN TOWN!
Occupation: Edward: - evil chuckle-
Alice: "ohh you will never guess. it is the perfect buisness for us type.
-insert dramatic pause- "an underground abitua."
Edward: -licks lips- "the cash flow is amazzing." =)
Tattoos: Edward: -awkward silence-
Alice: -disturbed look- "you should have relised that you cant keep secrets from me, for my sake at the very least."
"but GOD Edward, bella tattoed across your-"
Edward: -hastily changes subject-
Fears: Edward: -quievers in corner- "mortein..its just.. scary alright.. the way they spay it on the floor.. (mumbles of into distance)
Alice: "I AM FEARLESS. wait.. there is one thing." -looks from left to right- (wispers) "what edward does when he thinks he is alone." -twitch- "but he seems to always forget that i am ALWAYS watching.. whether i want to or not." -shivers from memory-
Greatest Achievment: Edward: -glances at Alice's smug look- -rolls eyes- "she rekons she inspired The Scream"
Alice: "psshh.. inspired? I WAS THE SCREAM. (and for all you un artistic folks out there, The Scream, by Edvard Munch, was inspired by a REAL event, "and i sensed an infinite scream passing through nature"(Munch's diary) well i was at the crazy home near by, well screaming, just like a crazy person should and TADA i get a famous masterpiece painted about me.
"and so what have YOU done edward?"
Edward: "well Alice i have a bone to pick at you.
"because infact I WAS THE SCREAM!.. or more the deliciously delicious lama i was eating at the time nearby the incedent..."
Alice: -EVIL EYES- "TAKE. THAT. BACK." -fumes-
"or else i shall just have to tell everyone about how in your human life you were RASPUTIN. thats right "-snaps fingers in Z formation- "THE ONE AND ONLY EVIL RASPUTIN."
Edward: -unintentionally does EVIL RASPUTIN EYES-
Alice: "aha dear brother you just proved my point." -smugness-
Edward: -growls- "ok moving on...
"i may hath giveth a feweth suggestions to shakespeare...
as well as
playingg the piano with my toes while piggy backing bella (without her permission i must add) to romantic tchaikovsky"
Alice: "pffttt dont flatter youself. you will always be RASPUTIN to me."
(edward with his magic stick heee heee)
(THE jasper couch.)but -tear- they changed the discription.
add us on myspace -glares- OR ELSE! (you don't know how much we love talking to randoms)
Edward (Victoria) : /victorrrriiiiiiiiiaaaaaa
Alice (Anthea): /thisisantheasspace
This is Bunny. Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.
SUPPORT THE VAMPIRE BUNNY!
-red eyes glisten in the bright light-
-emmett runs away screaming, scared of the albino VAMPIRIE rabbit-
-looks around pointedly and wispers in a hushed tone-:
"But alice, is that even allowed?"
just gotta go. VAMPORTO.
Alice laughed (8)
Rose Rampage (0)