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Joined 10-08-07, id: 1393618, Profile Updated: 05-10-08
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

This is just some funny things i have found that i think is really funny

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the cell next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!..

If you know the answer to life, the universe, and everything, copy and paste this to your profile. (Yeah, It's called Edward Cullen)

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other

If you have ever tripped over air

i've got a jar of dirt. i've got a jar of dirt. and guess what's inside it.
-captain jack sparrow

Edward Cullen-Sexier than you since 1901

Emmett Cullen-Stronger than you since 1916

Jasper Hale-Charming ladies since 1843

Rosalie Hale-Better than you since 1916

Alice Cullen-Quirkier than you since 1901

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

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Persuasion by Endlessly Drowning reviews
AU to The Half Breed Diaries. Jacob imprints on an unknown girl but runs away in anger. Soon after he regrets his decision. But he has no idea who she is or how to find her. Is the fate of imprinting enough to lead him to her? Or is his destiny lost?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 61,588 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 9/4/2010 - Published: 1/3/2008
Remember to Forget by InterruptedProgress reviews
“So that’s it?” His voice was hard. Desperate. “You’re just going to leave?” I turned my head, catching sight of him from the corner of my eye. “That’s it.” ExB.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 59,035 - Reviews: 1082 - Favs: 376 - Follows: 458 - Updated: 7/3/2009 - Published: 12/13/2007 - Bella, Edward
Human Experiences by wanna.be.bella reviews
You know how Edward said he wanted Bella to experience all those necessary things in life? Well here it goes! Bella starts her wild, dangerous, and crazy human experiences...w/ Emmett Alice Rose and Jasper! rated T for some lanuage. :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 29,507 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 2/1/2009 - Published: 2/21/2008 - Complete
You Got Love! by xxsparklesnick reviews
Isabella Swan has been crushing on her best friend's brother, Edward Cullen, for a while and at the same time she can't stand him. Her online friend has been there for her through it all, but what happens when his identity is revealed? All Human, ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 64,288 - Reviews: 1920 - Favs: 1,888 - Follows: 703 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Complete
We Did Well by Cullens4everandever reviews
Edward is so protective of Bella, that I can totally see him with daughters. These are just oneshots and ministories of Edward and Bella and their daughters, Lucy and Katie, and son, Mason. Read and find out all about it!. ALL HUMAN! lots of fluff! Yay!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 50 - Words: 107,501 - Reviews: 715 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 8/1/2008 - Published: 1/19/2008 - Complete
The Family Talk by NeverForgetThisPen reviews
Imagine Carlisle and Esme Cullen attempting to give their "children" a sex ed. lesson.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,626 - Reviews: 394 - Favs: 468 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 6/10/2008 - Published: 2/27/2008 - Complete
One Hour by Sly Roxx reviews
Bella had one more hour with Edward before he left and got the closure she needed. Jasper feels their constant pain. A fire causes the Swans to stay with the Blacks. Bella forgives Edward too quickly in most stories,like nothing ever happened. Well,it did
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 53,156 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 4/9/2008 - Published: 2/3/2008 - Complete
Oh Honeymoon by Tawnyeyes reviews
The wedding is over. Edward and Bella prepare for the honeymoon and life after marriage. This is a happy, feel good version. Sorry, limited conflict.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 30,468 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 11/29/2007 - Published: 11/18/2007 - Complete
I'm Still Sober by TimelessTwilight reviews
Edward changed Bella some time ago right after their marriage, and has kept his distance ever since. Feeling an overwhelming sense of rejection, Bella just wants to be loved again. What will it take for this to happen?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,868 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 11/26/2007 - Published: 10/1/2007
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Edward I'm sorry reviews
Bella ALice yelled. Running across the street not caring who saw her. Bella please don't die Alice said sobbing. "Alice" Bella said between gasps "take care of Edward for me" before darkness over took her!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,660 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 7/13/2009 - Published: 1/4/2008
Jasper how could you? reviews
What would have happened if Jasper really did bite Bella on her birthday?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 12,277 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 7/8/2008 - Published: 11/17/2007
Remember not to forget me reviews
Bella is horrified to find Edward acting the same way he did the first time they met in Biology.He's head snapped towards me at this. I gasped at the look of utter hatred on his face.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,022 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 4/16/2008 - Published: 12/20/2007
Ground hog day reviews
What would have happened if destiny had gotten involved and not let Edward leave Bella?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,980 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 4/15/2008 - Published: 12/14/2007