UPDATE: FEB 2019

So I started this account as my 18th birthday gift to myself waaaay back in 2001. I updated it diligently until 2013, when IRL took a turn and I suddenly had lots of adulty things that prevented me from writing as much as I used to. It's now 2019 and ... I've changed quite a bit since then. One thing that hasn't changed, however, is that I still freaking LOVE fanfics - have, in fact, made a second career in addition to my IRL job out of converting them into full cast audiobooks on my YouTube channel (closing in on 300k subscribers atm). I'm quite active on my social media, so I suggest that if you want to ask me about any of the fics here (or any of the other stuff I do - I'm a busy bee) you poke me. I'm generally happy to talk about the fanworks I produce.

I'm hoping, with the advent of several recent major changed in my life, to have more time for writing again, so watch out for long-needed updated to several stories I'm determined to finish, if only so I can die saying I'm not a quitter.

My YouTube Channel, where I produce radio plays, audiobooks, comic dubs, podcasts and other celebratory fandom goodness.

My Twitter, where I babble about fandom stuff I love and dogs. Lots and lots of dogs.

My , where you can commission me to write things for you (or convert your own fanfics into audiobooks).

My Merchandise Store, where you can find custom clothing, phone cases, stickers and more.

My Fimfiction account, which houses quite a bit of MLP fanfic not posted here for reasons I can't even remember anymore.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was born a baby with flaxen hair and eyes as blue as cornflowers. She also happened to be a princess, and such was the mindset at the time that upon her birth her parents followed fashionable trends and organised a Wish Ceremony, to which they invited all the fairies, sprites, brownies and other good spirits in their neighbourhood. Many of these good spirits grumbled about this, because the King and Queen naturally expected gifts to be bestowed at the event, and wishes don’t come cheap.

Still, the ceremony went ahead, and progressed smoothly until one fairy (an absent-minded girl with a penchant for melodrama, neither of which is good in a person waving a magical wand-like-implement) stood up with a flourish and pushed her oversized hat from her eyes. She’d got her entire ensemble on discount at Honest Ernie’s Magick Shoppe, and, as such, everyone took a noticeable step backwards in the face of her enthusiasm.

“I seem to have mislaid my Wish Voucher,” said she, “but that’s okay, I’m sure I can make something up on the fly.”

At this, those who’d seen the backlash of her last ‘on the fly’ spell took another step backwards.

You can imagine how well this gift went down. And so, instead of growing up lovely, kind, sweet and gentle, pricking her finger on a spinning wheel, eating a poisoned fruit or vegetable, or scrubbing floors in scullery rags while singing beautiful songs, and waiting passively for her handsome prince to happen by, the baby grew up to be a dumpy, stubborn, childish daydreamer with a penchant for books instead of embroidery and an unending struggle against chocolate and carbs. As such, rather than sit prettily in a tower, brushing her long hair, at eighteen she upped sticks and got herself an education, returning to the kingdom years later with a university degree and some very odd ideas about transcending gender roles.

Evil fairies couldn’t take advantage of her inherent virtue. Dragons sent her home again when she started valuing how much she could get for their hoards on eBay. Ogres deposited her on the castle doorstep with a note pinned to her front that read: ‘No mor shakspr, pleez, it herts ar heds’. Princes left her in a great many towers after she talked them into wanting more from life than the occasion bit of slayage and nookie, and even the Big Bad Wolf abandoned grandma’s garb and took to cowering in a cavein the farthest part of the forest, flinching at snapping twigs.

In short, the princess wasn’t princess-ly enough. She just didn’t fit in anywhere, and her parents were at their wits’ end.

Then some bright spark hit upon the idea of asking the absent-minded fairy what to do. After all, this was all her fault anyway. So, without further ado, the fairy was summoned, and once confronted with the kind and queen’s dilemma she rummaged about in one voluminous pocket of her too-big robes.

“I think I have just the thing … somewhere in here … Just gimmie a sec … I’ll find it, don’t worry … Aha!” she trilled, pulling out a large black box that couldn’t possible have fit on her person. “Here we go.”

“What’s that?” the Queen asked uncertainly. She’d developed a nervous tick after a particularly nasty incident involving the princess, an evil sorcerer, and several decades of unpaid cauldron-tax.

“It’s called a laptop. Give her this and you’ll never hear a peep from her again.”

“But how can that … that thing possibly keep our daughter out of trouble?”

“Well, it mightn’t keep her out of trouble, per se, but it’ll certainly keep her occupied and out of your hair.”

“Will it marry her off?” the King asked eagerly, and then composed himself. “I mean, will it provide assistance in the search for eligible bachelors?”

“Possibly. It’s been known to happen.”

“You mean this contraption might provide our daughter with a husband?”

The fairy levelled a serious look at him. “Hey, buddy, it’s a laptop, not a miracle-worker. Just give it to her and thank your lucky stars I filled her head up with all that imagination.”

And do you know what? They did. And their daughter eventually took on a new alias, and was known across the virtual land as simply ‘Scribbler’.

And do you know what else? None of that is true. It’s all complete codswallop (except for the bit about the wizard and the taxes, but that’s another story). Still, you have to admit it makes one hell of a good story.

Come and join me on the Interfics Forum and take part in some interfics (fanfics written by anyone who wants to take part).